It had been five days since I had been swept away from the chaos of battle.

Five days, yet my body still wouldn't stop shaking. My pulse had hardly settled. My guts still twisted into knots. I had been transported to a hospital close to home, and the staff were kind and doting.

I hated it.

Tokoyami hadn't stopped apologising to me through teary hiccups, even as he handed me over to the medical crew. Both he and Dark Shadow couldn't say it enough, over and over and over.

I hated it.

There was only one thing that kept me from tipping over the edge of insanity, and I kept it clutched tightly to my chest, refusing to put it down for even a solitary moment. The single red feather I knew as gusty. Somehow, at some point, Hawks had slipped it into my costume.

I needed that.

Not once did I try to listen to the news. It had been such a vile mess out there, how could any of the reports be accurate? The only thing I knew for sure was that Shigaraki had awakened, and many lives, both hero and villain, had been lost.

But not yours...

"Uh, sorry to intrude, Ms. Songbird..." A nurse tapped hesitantly on my doorframe, peering in, but all I could do was lift my head to stare at her. "We have Endeavor at the desk. He wanted to know whether you'd allow him to visit you." Hearing that name, my fingers curled into the canvas sheets.

"Yes." It was all I could manage. Did that mean it was all over? Was it good news? The nurse tottered off, and shortly after, the lumbering man entered, bowing his head almost too respectfully. He was clad in bandages and bruises, but he had come out of the battle alive, which was what mattered.

"(Y/N), I apologise for not coming sooner. I myself was admitted for a night." He greeted, sounding far too exhausted, which matched the bags under his eyes.
"Did they find him?" The hope that swelled in my chest was almost too much. My heart rate monitor began to beep a little faster as he approached.

"We managed to successfully detain a vast number of villains, though many still escaped, including Shigaraki." He began, opting to stand beside my bed rather than taking a seat. "Despite his escape, this is still a win. It shall take a long time for them to rise up again."

That isn't what I asked...

Scooting up against my pillow, I maintained a steady eye contact, barely blinking, which I knew was making him uncomfortable.
"Did they find him?" I repeated my question, and the pro finally sat down at my bedside, sinking his gaze to the metal frame.

"From what I was told, you were incredibly brave. You have good instincts, especially for someone without much experience." Endeavor deflected my question again, moving to fiddle with his fraying gauze. "I'm proud of you. Both Natsuo and Fuyumi are here with me, but I assumed you wouldn't want so many vi-"

"Enji, did they find my husband?!" I cut him off in a fierce hiss, knowing that it was the only way I would be getting any answers. The feather I held against my skin tickled, which was painful to me. Despite being my beacon of hope, it was dulling beneath the man's stare as he finally raised his head.

"I'm...sorry..." Silence blanketed the room, and it felt like I was falling again, only this time, Hawks was completely out of reach. Contradictory to my monitors noise, my exterior was calm as I nodded my head, sinking back down into the pillow.

"Okay...Right. He probably...hid himself...or the Commission picked him up and have him in urgent care somewhere so the p..press doesn't find out..." I rambled, mostly under my breath. "I can wait for him to get better...He knows where to find me..."

The sigh that Endeavor released was like a frosty gale to me, chilling me to the absolute core.
"I know it will take some time to sink in...Even the greatest of us, the strongest, cannot cheat fate. He truly was one of the greatest." The way he spoke, in past tense, was like a savage beating.

You don't know anything...How can you..?

"D..don't be so negative...You know him...I..I know him...He's alive. S..see this..?!" I sat up rather abruptly, pulling the feather from my chest to shove in his face. "This is how I know! It's been moving! That means he's still alive..!" Tears began to stream down my face, and Endeavor edged closer, carefully reaching out to lower my hand.

"I wish I could agree with you...but I can't. Not this time, (Y/N)..." Beneath his gentle touch, I crumbled. The tears burst forth, and I very nearly ripped the cannula from my arm as I lurched forward and buried my face in his broad, bandaged chest.

"H..he has to be! He has to! He isn't d..dead, Enji! He isn't! It's him! It moved, s..so he has to be..!" My nails curled tight into his shirt, and the man wrapped his arms around me, the warmth no match for the cold feeling of dread. "I c..can't do this without him..! He..he knows that..! He's alive, dammit! He's fucking alive..!"

Mindfully, Endeavor moved, with me still attached, to sit on the edge of the bed, the dip of his weight causing the frame to squeal in complaint.
"I am here to help you through it. My family, my colleagues...You have your brother, your friends and coworkers...We are all here to help you..." He tried to console me, but it was hopeless.

Barely able to breathe, and the bleeping sounds growing louder and faster, I pulled back, still clutching to his skin and the feather as though I'd slip away to oblivion if I released.
"Th..that isn't it, Enji! I..it isn't true..! He can't be dead..! He cant be, because h..he was fucking right..!" I sobbed, my throat trying to squeeze itself shut, wanting to stop the words that were about to spill out. "H..he can't leave his baby w..without a father..!"

Cerulean eyes widening, Endeavor quickly pulled me back into his arms, his entire form covering me almost completely.
"Dear, darling girl..." He whispered, trying to ease me away from the dangerous borders of a panic attack as best he could. "...You are not alone. We're all here for you. The both of you. You have my word, not only as a hero, but as a friend..."

Never before had I felt so close to death, even though there was nothing physically wrong with me. The only reason I was still in the hospital was to keep a close eye on the baby. Barely four months along. Considering my last pregnancy, along with the trauma I had gone through, both mentally and physically, I was high risk.

Even with you...even with everyone else...I can't do it without him...I won't...because he's still alive...I know it...

Eventually, after an age of tears, screaming and unintelligible sobs, a nurse came in to assess the situation, tinkering with my monitor and IV bag.
"I apologise, Endeavor, Sir, but I think Ms. (L/N) needs to get some rest." She announced politely, looking a little uncomfortable breaking into our privacy.

"It's T..Takami...Not (L/N)...Takami..." I shot back, not caring how aggressive I sounded. Enji sighed, squeezing me tighter for a moment before pulling back and tucking a strand of my knotted (H/C) hair behind my ear.
"I shall return tomorrow. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call me directly, you hear me, girl? The same goes for Fuyumi and Natsuo. You need us, and we will be right here."

Nodding, unable to respond with words, I hiccuped as he placed a tender, somewhat fathery kiss to my forehead, finally standing up and taking his leave. I knew I should have told him what I had learned, but I just couldn't. At that point, even thinking about who his eldest turned out to be made me want to die. It had to wait.

The nurse's voice faded away as she attempted to speak to me, and I just turned on my side and faced the window, blurry eyes just in time to catch the first splatters of rain on the glass.

All limits are self imposed...

This had to be my limit. The pain of not knowing was too much, but at the same time, it was the hell of knowing, but having nobody believe me. I wasn't delusional. I had seen, and felt, plain as day, the feather twitch and shudder. That was all the proof I needed.

My panic began to ease away, and it wouldn't have surprised me if the nurse had snuck something into my IV drip. It could have been from lack of sleep, but that was less likely. I had barely slept since my last night with Hawks. I was running on nothing but fear and hope at this point.

I know you're out there...You're alive...You promised me...In and out...

Before leaving, the nurse cracked the window ever so slightly, making sure the rain wouldn't drizzle into the room. The sound of it falling was like sharp static, but I still continued slipping into an unconscious state, clutching my one hope against my heart.

Before I disappeared completely, I could feel the rush of cool air from the window crack, breezing over me and lulling me into a safer place of mind. Upon my chest, at the very same time...

...the feather twitched and shuddered...

.
.
.
.
.
.
***Next Time: Your Everything***