"...and that's the story of how your sister almost killed me!"

I wasn't sure why I let Hawks back into the apartment, but it was too late to change my mind. He was at least being smart, and not mentioning anything about our predicament whilst Suzu was over.
"I doubt a roomba could kill you." The boy deadpanned, but eventually dropped his charade, chuckling loudly.

"You don't know that!" Hawks pouted, batting at him playfully with the tip of his wing. I had kept my distance, watching the pair from the kitchen. Endeavor had been kind enough to send a car to pick my brother up, but it hadn't arrived yet, which meant I had to keep my big fat mouth shut.

"So, you two properly divorced yet?" Both Hawks and I nearly choked on air when Suzu asked that question, and I finally drifted towards them.
"That's not really something to bring up, Zu..." I mumbled, taking a seat on the arm rest beside him. "Let me guess, you heard office gossip?" He nodded, seeming unphased by the reality of it.
"Yeah, I was just curious. Plus it's kind of obvious that you want to punch him in the face or something."

Yikes. Note to self, work on digging a deeper pit for my emotions...

Hawks looked extremely uncomfortable, but he deserved it. No matter how much he tried to buy me back, or shower me with good deeds, I wasn't going to fall for it.
"Well, it hasn't been finalised yet, but it will be soon..." I eyed the pro hero, making sure he knew I was nagging him to hurry it up. "That doesn't mean you won't get to intern with him when you hit high school, though. Right, Hawks?"

The blond smiled and nodded, shooting the kid a thumbs up.
"It's a sure thing, buddy! Brother in law or not, I still consider you family." Suzu hummed in acknowledgement, but I could tell there was something ticking around in his brain.
"Thanks, but what about you two? Are you still gonna be friends, or..?"

I hate the minds of children...

Hawks' discomfort had spread to me, and I fumbled with my hands, trying to think of an answer. Of course I still loved him. Feelings like that couldn't just be killed off in such a short time.
"I-"
"Stuff like that takes time, buddy. Things will probably be a bit rough between us for a while, but eventually we might be able to reconnect as friends." My still-technically-husband cut me off, but I was kind of glad that he had. He made a heck of a lot of sense, even though I wasn't sure we'd ever get to that stage.

Suzu bought it, smiling a little and leaning into my thigh.
"Good. I hope so." Before I had the chance to feel too awful, my phone pinged, and I quickly whipped it out.
"The car's here. Come on, gimme a hug, you brat." I dragged Suzu into my arms, squeezing him tightly.
"I'll see you next week! Love you! Bye, Hawks!" He was gone much too quickly, and I was left alone with the avian man I couldn't handle. At least I didn't have to keep biting my tongue.

"So, I wanted to-"
"How did you know I was out with Natsuo the other night?" I spoke right over the top of him, my (E/C) eyes burning into his. Sighing, Hawks leaned back in the armchair, cheek squishing against his knuckles.
"Fuyumi was at Endeavor's agency when I stopped by, and she mentioned it." He revealed, voice kind of flat. "I mean, it's fine. If he makes you happy, then that's what matters."

Your tone tells me otherwise...

"It was just a friendly dinner. Anyway, why did you want to see me again? I don't see any papers with you." I couldn't help but be harsh. It was kind of a coping mechanism against his charms. There was still a large part of me that wanted to run to him, but I had to ignore it. For her sake, and for mine.
"Part two of the Takami Keigo memoirs, if you're interested. I mean, I get to talk to you, and you get to know some of my secrets."

Narrowing my eyes, I just stared at him for a long while, ignoring the way he lifted his legs when Patricia II rolled past.
"Are you some kind of narcissist? What makes you think I'm even remotely interested in that anymore? I'm not your therapist, Takami. The only shred of your past that I want to know about is why...it...happened..."

Hawks folded his wings a little, casting his gaze to the coffee table, which was littered with magazines and novelty coasters I had collected over my last few pub crawls.
"That's the point. I'm leading up to the exact thing you want to know. You gotta understand, Su...(Y/N)...It's hard for me, too, and the other things I have to say kind of fit in the bigger picture."

Was he bullshitting? I had no idea, but he and I both knew he had me, hook, line and sinker with that.
"Fine. Talk, then. I have plans, though, so don't stretch it out for too long." I muttered, slipping down so I was sitting on the cushion of the couch. Hawks nodded to the opposite end, pointing with his gloved finger.
"May I?"

This is so weird...

"It's your couch." I snarked, edging away when he switched seats.
"Alright, so...after my mother left me with the people at the hero  commission..."

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***HAWKS POV - 16 Years Ago***

Nothing else would come out.

No matter how much I heaved, coughed and spluttered, not one thing would come out of me.
"We're not done yet. On your feet." One of the men training me spoke in a stern voice, and I curled in on myself.
"P..please...it hurts...I feel sick...No more today..." I pleaded, squeezing my eyes shut when he clicked his tongue.

"One more time. Get up. Now." An order was an order, and I had quickly learned that disobeying command was out of the question. Clumsily, I got to my feet, barely able to focus on anything except the burning pain in my guts. Hand to hand training was always the worst of it. It was even harder when my opponent was three times my size, with arms thicker than my own body.

"R..raaaaaahhhhhhh!" My battle cry was pitiful as I ran towards him, fist at the ready, and it didn't take a genius to predict what would happen next. Whenever he kicked me, I thought I was going to die. It felt like all of my organs had been reduced to liquid, and I dropped back to the ground, gagging and trying to breathe.

"Too predictable. We've been through this. When are you going to learn? I tell you the exact same thing, every day, but you never listen." The man sneered down at me, the tap of his boot against my shoulder feeling more like a harsh kick. "Clean yourself up and sleep."

I want mama...

I didn't even attempt to move until after he was long gone, and it took me forever and a day to make it to the bathroom, not even bothering to remove my clothes before stepping under the shower head. The heat was a great change from the ice baths. It reminded me of an embrace. At least I thought it did. I couldn't quite remember how that felt anymore.

At least in the shower I couldn't tell that I was crying. It was one of the few safe places I had left, and if I could have had it my way, I would have lived in there. That was why I took the time to clean each individual feather on my wings.

She doesn't want me anymore. She hasn't visited yet...It's been a year already...

After my shower, I threw myself over the toilet bowl, just like clockwork. Nothing ever came out after the first wretch of the day, but just in case, I remained there for at least an hour, hoping that whatever made my insides burn would just leave.

Next, I tried to call home. No matter how many times I heard that robotic voice tell me that the line had been disconnected, I still called. Maybe it was hope, or maybe it was because that pre-recorded voice was the softest one I had heard in such a long time. Either way, it was yet another part of my routine.

Finally, I laid down in my bed. That was, by far, the worst part of each and every day. Upon that scratchy calico blanket, all I could do was think. Back to my mother and father, back to the kids who picked on me, back to normalcy. Back to each and every thing that now seemed so foreign to me.

I was good with my quirk. I knew that, even before it had been drilled deeper into my head. Of course, I wanted to help people, sure, but at the cost of this? Everything in my life? It wasn't exactly a fair exchange. There were so many heroes around the world, so why was I so important to them? What could I possibly do to change things?

Train, eat, sleep. Train, eat, sleep. Train, eat, sleep. Train, eat, sleep...and cry.

That was all I had. Sometimes I would just stare at myself in the mirror, hands twitching as I considered just ripping those damned wings from my shoulder blades. They were the problem. I would give them up in a heartbeat just to see my parents again. To go back to my boring little life, where I didn't have to spend hours of my day being forced to fight, run, fly, or smile.

I'm seven...but I feel...old...Tired...Done...

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***(Y/N) POV - Present***

"Look...I get it...Your childhood sucked. A kid shouldn't have to go through that, but in what way is this important now? Maybe a few months ago it could have been...but now it just reeks of desperation..." I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. Of course I felt sorry for him, but his intentions were obvious.

He's just trying to weasel his way back in...

Hawks visibly flinched at my words, but that was his only negative reaction. He just sat there with a sad half-smile, looking at me.
"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't happy to be spending time with you again...but I meant what I said. This all forms the big, fucked up picture of everything that happened."

That man was incredibly talented when it came to manipulating people. He knew I needed to know, for closure's sake, so he was stringing me along like some dopey little Shitzu. He was using the fact that I still loved him to keep me tethered.
"I don't wanna hear anymore of your memory lane audios, Takami. You either tell me what happened, straight up, or just leave me the fuck alone."

Having you near me just hurts...

"Th..this way is the only way I can tell you...I can't just say it the way you want me to...because...then you'll..." He trailed off, and that was the end of it for me. Standing abruptly, I rounded the couch, gritting my teeth as I heard him follow.

"Hate you?" I spun around, one hand on my satchel, which sat upon the kitchen counter. "Takami, I was upset, hurt, worried, and maybe even a little scared by you...but after all of this self-pitying drivel? I think I really am starting to hate you. So, last chance. Tell me what you did, otherwise I will never utter a word to you again."

He may have known my weakness, but I knew his, too. The man looked terrified as he stood there, picking his own brain apart in search of an answer.
"N..no..not yet...I can't tell you yet...Yes, I did something bad...but also...not bad..." My face twisted as he blabbered, and he quickly shook his head, raising his hands in defence. "It's complicated, okay?! Please believe me when I tell you this is for your own good! This is literally killing me, Sunshine!"

Snatching my bag and hooking it over my shoulder, I marched right up into his face, disgust pouring out of my blazing (E/C) eyes.
"Then drop dead already." In the moment it felt like the right thing to say, but I knew from the second it slithered from my tongue that I knew I would likely regret it later on. Towards the door I went, on the verge of tears, but when I looled up to find the doorknob, all I could see was a wall of quivering red.

"P..please...Please please please, Sunshine...I would never do anything...ever...to intentionally hurt you..." Hawks was crying now, I could tell, and each syllable chipped away at the remains of my shattered heart. "I'm begging you...please...I need just a little more time...and then you'll know e..everything...Please, Sunshine...I love you..."

I love you I loved you I love you I loved you I love you I loved you I...

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, I stared into the blinding crimson barricade, ignoring the way my cheeks became damp.
"Takami, l-"
"Please...P..please...Don't go..." If heartbreak had a sound, that voice was it. My shallow breathing was it. The entire world in that moment was it. I didn't move, nor did I really want to, deep down, but I had to follow my head for once, even though it was as equally screwed up as my heart.

"Let me go, Keigo...and let me go..."

Hawks wasn't even trying to keep his sobbing quiet. One by one, hos feathers fell away, but to the floor instead of returning to their place on his back. It was just like the two of us, falling apart with no power left to keep standing. For whatever reason, I waited until that last feather dropped before I moved. Hawks dropped along with it, but I couldn't look back. If I had, then I wouldn't have been able to leave.

When the door closed behind me, I could still hear his choked sobs, even over my own. I needed to get away, and I needed to breathe. Every rational part of my mind knew that we were a write off, unable to be fixed, but there was still that one, pathetic thought in my head that just wouldn't let go.

Please...let go...because I'm not sure that I can on my own...

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***I've been slack lately please forgive me.

Next time: Moving on***