Of course I regretted what I said.

Telling him to drop dead? How could I have been so disgusting? No matter how angry I was, it didn't excuse my horrendous behaviour. He hurt me - us - but I had to get over it. That was the problem, though.

Hawks was impossible to get over.

A couple of weeks had gone by, and I had thrown myself even further into my work, so much so that I began making mistakes. That was how I ended up in the hospital.

"You need to take it easy, Missy." It was just my luck that Recovery Girl was doing her rounds in the emergency room, because a good, stern scolding was something I really needed. "I've seen you on the news, working yourself to the bone. I get it, I do, but exhausting yourself isn't helping anybody."

She was right, and I knew it, but my stubborn nature wasn't packing it in that easily.
"This has nothing to do with being tired. That villain was literally a human porcupine. I was bound to get a few scrapes..." I mumbled, even though several of those inhuman quills had gone straight through my leg and arm.

Tutting, Recovery Girl resumed smooching my wounds, wrapping them afterwards with gauze and bandages.
"I'm prescribing you time off work. Also, you're grounded for at least a week. Nobody wants you to doze off and fly yourself into a jet engine or something."

I wouldn't mind...

Sighing, I just nodded along, knowing full well I'd likely go straight back to work. It kept me busy, and that was what I needed. Somebody had to keep Best Jeanist's agency running smoothly while he was missing, and nobody else seemed to be offering their assistance.
"Now, Hawks is listed as your next of kin, but I am well aware of your current situation, so is there anybody else you would like me to call?"

Thinking for a moment, I nodded, leaning back into the seat and staring up at the stark white ceiling.
"Uh, yeah, could you please call..."

-------------------------------------------

"Natsuo, I said I'm fine! You're squishing me, and you smell like a jockstrap!" I whined, wiping off my face once the worried Todoroki finally let go of my head.

"You scared the absolute crap out of me! That recovery lady is too vague! All she told me was that you were in hospital and I ran straight here from the gym!" He explained, voice still fast paced from adrenaline.
"In my defence, young man, you didn't even let me finish a sentence." Recovery Girl quipped from the other side of the room. "You can take her home. Don't let her do much for a day or two, at least. And remember, Ms. (L/N), no-"

"No work. I know. Thanks, Recov Girl..." I sighed, pocketing my hands as I motioned for Natsuo to follow me out. Once we were in the hall, he began to hover again, a frown on his face.
"Seriously, are you sure you're alright? I can call a cab if you're hurt..." His concern was sweet, but as everybody knew, I had been through worse.

Pulling a hand from my pocket, I stretched my arm out in front of me, barely flinching when it stung a little.
"Positive. Just a few stabs." My limp was rather obvious, but it wasn't too bad. "I think walking would do me some good, anyway. Fresh air and all that." It was obvious Natsuo wanted to help me in some way, but I knew what he was like. If I mentioned any kind of pain he would likely scoop me up in those damn arms of his and carry me all the way back to the apartment.

Not a bad fantasy, though...

We chatted about this and that on the trip, sticking close to each other's sides. Natsuo made a few attempts to hook our fingers together, but I played my dodging off as me being oblivious. I certainly felt some kind of way about the snowy haired guy, but it just wasn't what I had felt with Hawks.
"So, uh, I was thinking, maybe you and I could go and grab a bi-"

Natsuo was cut off by what could have easily been mistaken as a whirlwind. An array of colours flashed past - red, orange, yellow, green, blue - and there was a hell of a lot of screaming.
"I'LL LEAVE THE EVACUATION TO YOU!"

Enji..?!

That was when I noticed the smoke from the oppisite direction, a few streets over. How hadn't I heard or seen anything? Immediately, I spun around to Natsuo, eyes wide and pleading as I bounced from foot to foot. He knew exactly what I was about to ask.
"(Y/N), you were literally just told to take it easy..." He reminded me, but quickly slumped his shoulders in defeat. "Fine, but I'll linger behind, just in case. Be careful!"

Nodding once, I leapt back, ignoring the painful twinge in my right leg before activating my quirk.
"I'll be right back!" I knew whatever villain Endeavor had been racing after had likely already been caught, but I wanted to be included. I chose to fly over the buildings instead of through the narrow laneway, but I wished I had looked before I swooped down.

Yes, the villains had been caught, but not souly by Endeavor and his sidekicks.
"Did it look like I was in a pinch?!" The flame hero snapped loudly, spinning around and glaring at none other than Hawks, who was standing casually beside the youngest Todoroki brother.
"It sure did, didn't it, Shoto?" The winged pro chuckled, seemingly making the bi-coloured boy uncomfortable. I could relate.

"Guess I wasn't needed, then..." Making my presence known, I sidled up beside Endeavor, glancing down at one of the beaten criminals.
"OI, I REMEMBER YOU!" Ah, yes, and I remembered that snarky voice, too. The little asshole from the licence exam strode up to me, teeth bared and hair spiked. "You're that smug bi-"

"Finish that sentence and I'll scorch your entire face clean off, Bakugou." Endeavor leered, shutting the student up in an instant. Slapping on a smile, I nodded to the kid, deactivating my quirk.
"You're pretty damn fast, Bakugou. I'd like to race you sometime." That definitely ignited a competitive fire, and that snarl slowly morphed into a relatively ugly grin.
"Oh, you're on, bird brain! Right here and now!"

If only...It'd get me away from him...but...

Lifting my arm, I motioned to the bandages, then again to my opposite leg.
"I totally would, but I'm not pushing myself today. Got myself slightly impaled." A heavy hand came down upon my head, and I met Endeavor's eyes as he leaned down, snuffing out his own facial flames for a moment.
"Burnin texted me about what happened. Why are you out and about after that?"

The others approached us, including my ex husband, and I groaned, deciding to turn my head and focus on the police officers scurrying towards the scene.
"Wait, what happened?" The young Todoroki questioned, tilting his head to the side.
"Oh, it wasn't too bad. Some crazy lady with a quill quirk thought I'd make a great pin cushion, that's all. Recovery Girl patched me up and I was on my way home." I explained, shoving my hands into my jean pockets. "I gotta say, you three look like naturals in a chase. Look forward to working with you once in a while."

Hawks cleared his throat, and I internally cringed, choosing to glance over his shoulder at a store sign instead of meeting his eyes.
"I'm glad you're alright. I guess you've already changed your emergency contact at the hospital, then?" He really had to go and bring something like that up, didn't he? Smacking my lips, I nodded, catching my reflection in his visor.

"Yeah, didn't want to bother you. I know you have a lot of shit going on." Endeavor had already taken his leave from the conversation to instruct the police, but the remaining students all looked rather perplexed.
"Wait, you two are that close?" The shorter green haired boy questioned, glancing between us with bright, curious eyes.
"They're married, Midoriya." Baby Todoroki informed him, indifferent as always. A mildly amusing contrast to the boy who began to short circuit.

"Separated, actually, Shoto." I corrected hastily, finally dragging my eyes to meet familiar amber. "Speaking of, when should I expect the paperwork, Hawks?" Petty seemed to be my new middle name, but I wasn't going to play nice, even if it hurt me just as much as it hurt him. Acting unphased, Hawks shrugged his shoulders, though his wings gave it away. I knew his body language, after all.

"My bad. I haven't gotten around to it yet." The tension grew, but luckily the little green child cut right in.
"Oh! Uh, I..i'm Midoriya Izuku! Hero name Deku!" He introduced himself, and I called upon my plastic smile once again.
"Nice to meet you, Midoriya. Ah, and you too, Shoto. Your father has told me quite a lot about you." I shifted away from my ex, and tried to drown out what he was saying to Midoriya.

Todoroki shook my hand, but I could see his reservations. He still hated his father, it was obvious, but he was trying.
"Likewise, Songbird. Natsuo was talking about you last time we met up. You seem like a good person."

...So what are you doing working with my father, right?

Smiling, I just felt like I wanted to leave.
"Oh, was he now? Actually, speaking of the devil, I was just with him before I followed you guys. Shouldn't keep him wai-"
"Well?! What business do you have, Hawks?!" I groaned when Endeavor returned, following the others' lead and focusing on the two pros.
"It's not so much business, but..." Reaching into his coat, Hawks pulled out a book. "Endeavor, have you read this?"

Something wasn't right. The look on Hawks' face was extremely disconcerting to me, and I couldn't figure out why.
"The special ability liberation front..?" Midoriya read the title out loud, and Hawks nodded excitedly.
"Man, it's incredible! Did you know? They've been expanding like crazy recently!" He prattled on about the book, but his enthusiasm was empty. He wasn't a big reader, I knew that for a fact. Why was this important enough for him to be pushing it on Endeavor?

"What are you trying to say?" The firey hero questioned, scepticism apparent.
"If this all comes true, Endeavor...then both of us will have too much time to spare." Dead serious. That was the expression that cast itself across the younger man's face, and a chill crawled up my spine. I already knew he was hiding something bad, but this just made me all the more fearful.

Red...That's what that kid said...and I think I can see it now, too...

"Do take some time to read it, won't you?" Placing the book in Endeavor's hand, Hawks met his eyes, and I could see he was trying to get some kind of message across.
"The number two hero's book recommendation! I wanna read it too!" Midoriya squeaked out, and the bird man visibly flinched.

He whirled around, tossing books to the three interns, straight out of his coat.
"If you're interested I've got plenty to spare!" The teens looked a mix of confused and excited, but the older of us were just plain concerned.
"He must really love this book, he's got so many of them..." Todoroki mused, staring at the cover.
"He probably just keeps a few of them to hand out, is all."

Hawks pointed to Midoriya and grinned, wings expanding.
"That's exactly right!" I could tell he waz about to take off, so I stepped forward, holding my hand out.
"Do I get one, Mr. Librarian?" I asked, glancing between his face and my own palm. He paused for a moment, and I could see it. The fear in his eyes.
"Sorry, those were the last of them! Besides, I don't think it's really your style."

Yeah, this is bullshit...

Even though it was pointless, I got pissed off. Retracting my hand, I used it to sweep through my (H/C) hair, clicking my tongue.
"Fine, no problem. Anyway, I better be off. Natsuo's waiting for me. You have two weeks to get those papers to me, Hawks, otherwise you'll be opting for the hard way."

Again, regret. Why did I use Natsuo as a spite tool? He had nothing to do with our problems, and I had no right to be so vicious. But, it had been done, so I had to just deal with it.
"I'll...do my best, okay? I'm up to my neck in work right now, but I'll make time. Seeya later, (L/N)." Without a second glance, he took off, and I suddenly wanted to cry.

Wait...why am I so upset? If I can dish it out, I need to be able to take it, too! Shit...

Gritting my teeth, I turned back to the hero and interns, lifting my hand in a pathetic attempt at a wave.
"Well, I'm off too, guys. If you're short handed just let me know. I can fill in for some patrols or whatever." Two of the three teenagers said their goodbyes, but Endeavor stopped me, his hulking arm blocking my path.

"You need to take a break. Don't pretend with me, girl. I'm not blind." He spoke sternly, like how I remembered my father, before his back turned on me. With a tired laugh, I batted at his wrist, giving him a small smile.
"I know you're not, Enji. I'll be fine, I promise. Go do your hero thing, and I'll see you later."

With that, I left, hightailing it back to where Natsuo waited patiently, like a puppy leashed to a picket.
"All good? I wanted to make sure myself, but I didn't want to talk to him..." He greeted me, and I nodded, taking his hand in mine and pulling him into a walk.
"Yeah, just some creepos. Shoto and his buddies are with him too, so I wasn't needed." I explained, leaving out the part about Hawks and his unnerving presence.

The man I had in tow stared at out interlocked hands, his open mouth quickly closing and transforming into a bright smile.
"Sweet, I'm glad you didn't end up having to fight. You need to relax after today."

Don't I know it.

I let him talk about whatever he wanted to for the rest of the journey to my apartment, internally festering over the man I despised, yet loved unconditionally at the same time. It was stupid. Of course love couldn't be unconditional. Almost everyone in my entire life had proved that, time and time again. It was all in my head.

Not a word had left my mouth until we reached the entrance to the apartment complex, and I shifted to face Natsuo, our hands still joined.
"You sure you don't need anything? I can get you some food or something if you want?"

I need to get it all out of my fucking head...

"One thing..." I murmured, swallowing back any nerves, confusion and sense. Rising to the tips of my toes, I reached my hand around the back of Natsuo's head, pulling him down and pressing my lips to his. His entire body jolted, but his grip on my other hand became tighter as he melted into me, arm gently hooking around my waist as support.

Did it feel right? It was hard to tell, but it wasn't a bad sensation. He was soft and sweet, and didn't try to fight me for control. His presence was a comfort, above all else. That was the only true reason for what I had chosen to do.

When I pulled back, Natsuo's face was a brilliant scarlet, his greyscale eyes almost glowing as he looked down at me.
"W..wow..." He stammered, mouth seemingly incapable of closing. Sighing, I pushed myself into his chest, letting go of his hand in favour of wrapping my arms around his torso, burying my face in his sweater.

"Wanna order a pizza and just forget about everything else for a while..?"

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***Yes, I know this is a Hawks x Reader.

Does that mean I'm going to break Natsuo's fragile baby beefcake heart?

Not necessarily.

I have a plan. I have run over said plan with an actual angel. Said actual angel approves of plan. Said plan is in motion.

There's a reason for this, so please don't get mad at this turn of events. It doesn't mean Hawks is out of the picture.

Next Time: I'm going to actually fucking murder him***