I didn't really pay much attention to the situation until I was laying upon Natsuo's bed.

A shirt for a shirt and a belt for a belt, we were almost entirely revealed to each other before we had reached his bedroom, and now Natsuo was standing over me, face red and burning.
"God, you're beautiful..." He whispered as he crawled over me, his hand gently running up along my bare leg. His touch felt nice, but not what I had gotten used to. It was strange.

"Come here..." I murmured, reaching for his face and pulling him in for a kiss, taking the opportunity to trace his firm chest before it pressed against mine. He was so timid, each touch and kiss filled with adoration. It was different. Not at all bad, but just...different.

To think we both almost died barely two hours ago...

I found myself sweeping my thumb over the patch covering the cut on Natsuo's cheek, and he pulled back, covering my hand with his own.
"Are...you sure you want to do this, Sugar..? I mean, I want to...I want to be as close to you as possible, but..." He sighed, leaning into my touch. "You don't have to do this for me. We don't have to rush it if you're unsure."

Rushing..? I guess I just got used to that...

Sex had never been a really big deal for me. I'd skipped steps A through Y many times over in my past, but I guess I could understand how my sudden choice to jump between Natsuo's sheets may be considered rushing things. Even so, after coming so close to losing him, the only real foundation I had left, I wanted to give him this.

"Would I be here if I wasn't sure?" I sighed, hooking my leg over the back of his calf and pulling him down so our noses touched. "I was so scared...I just want to be with you right now..." His lips against mine were much cooler than I had experienced with anyone else, but I could still feel a burning message of passion pass through them.

Slowly, I felt his fingers travel to the front latch of my (F/C) bra, and he hesitated, his soft grey eyes opening ever so slightly.
"Then...is it okay for me to show you how much I care about you..?" He asked in a low whisper, and all I could do was nod. I trusted him. Slight temper or not, there wasn't a bad bone in the man's body, and I knew he would always do right by me.

That's what you thought about Keigo, you stupid bitch...

That snarling voice inside my head fizzled out once Natsuo had removed my bra and began pressing feather-light kisses over the rises of my breasts, his bracing tongue meeting the curve of my right nipple for the first time. It felt good, but there was something weighing down on me that I simply refused to acknowledge.

Travelling downwards after he decided my breasts had been sufficiently tended to, he left a trail of frosty breath across the length of my stomach, sending an oddly arousing tingle up my spine. As if seeking further permission, he glanced up at me as he cautiously took hold of the waistband of my underwear, and I just watched him, my silence enough of an answer.

"I'll probably sound like some kind of pervert, but..." Natsuo murmured quietly as he slid my underwear down over my rear, gaze flickering between my eyes and my prize. "...I've dreamt about this since we first started getting close...N..not in a creepy way...but...Well, I guess no matter what way I put it it sounds creepy...but...like..." Oh, the poor boy's blood supply had definitely vacated his brain in favour of something else, and I smirked a little.

"You don't sound creepy." I reassured him, letting my legs fall open just a little bit wider. Gulping, Natsuo's attention had been unequally divided, and he turned into a flushing mess.
"Y..you're just...You're...You don't have any idea just how perfect you are to me..." He stammered with great difficulty, swallowing loudly as he tried to steer his mind away from obviously dirty thoughts. "It honestly feels like I..I shouldn't even have the right to touch you...but here you are...and all I want to do is make you happy..."

I should have been getting emotional when he said all of those things, and I was, but not in the way I should have. Everything about Todoroki Natsuo was sweet and gentle, kind and caring, everything I had ever hoped for in a relationship, but it just wasn't agreeing with me. It was like a part of myself was rejecting everything he had to offer, like a bad piercing or an allergy. The denial was strong.

"You do make me happy, Natsuo..." To a degree, he did. I adored the guy so fucking much that it hurt, but something wasn't right, and even though deep down I knew exactly what it was, I refused to accept it. Smiling his sweetest smile, Natsuo began to kiss down the inside of my thigh, and I closed my eyes, allowing the feeling to take over me.

This is good...It's fine...It's just...different...

His tongue was borderline cold as it slithered up the length of my slit, and I stifled a gasp once it reached my clit. His large hands moved beneath my thighs and up to rest on my pelvis, giving him complete control of everything, and I allowed it. He wasn't an amateur. He knew what he was doing, but for some reason it just wasn't enough.

I never let him realise that, though.

"H..hah...Natsuo..." I breathed out softly, raising my hips a little so his tongue would press harder against me. "Please, I..I need you...now..." Sure, I felt a little bad for trying to rush through it, but I felt like I had to. It wasn't like I didn't want to be intimate with the guy. I did, especially after the night we had just gone through, but my jumping the gun had been due to pure adrenaline. Now that it was fading out, I just wanted to get it over with.

"Someone's keen." Natsuo chuckled, sitting back on his heels and licking his lips. "Are you sure? If you're tired or not feeling it, it's okay. You don't have to do this for my sake." His understanding nature was both a blessing and a curse. Shaking my head, I squeezed my knees against his thighs, crossing my ankles behind him to lock him in.
"Natsuo, I want you to fuck me..."

...for your sake...

Eyes growing wide, Natsuo looked completely stunned for a few long moments before a wonky smile stretched across his face.
"W..well...when you put it like that..." I thoroughly enjoyed the view of his pectoral muscles as he leaned over me to reach his dresser, fumbling around to find a condom. As he opened the package and rolled it on, I ran a hand through my messy (H/C) hair, psyching myself up.

"You...need a hand..?" I questioned, noticing he was having a little trouble. Adamantly shaking his head, he chewed upon his bottom lip, finally succeeding.
"S..see? No help needed..." He chuckled, radiating pure nervous energy as he crawled back over me, his length gliding against the slick of my heat, which was much more prepared than my mind was. "Now...let me take good care of you..."

Natsuo's entry was slow and smooth, and I inhaled sharply, holding that breath until he bottomed out, releasing a shaking breath of his own. I focused on the feeling of his pulse through his member, staring up into his foggy silver eyes as he began to move. He was a handsome man, there was no denying it, and any woman would be lucky to have him. The problem was that I wasn't any woman.

Hawks had ruined me for everybody else. I knew it, and he probably knew it, too. Not because he was unbeatable in bed. No, not at all. There wasn't really any solid reason I could think of to pin it on. Perhaps it was his charm and his wit? Doubtful. Whatever it was didn't matter, but the problem still remained. Hawks had buried himself deep under my skin and there was no curing the disease that was his memory.

"H..hah...shit..." I began to pant as Natsuo set a steady rhythm, meeting the crook of my neck with gentle kisses and nips, leaving me to stare at the ceiling above.
"Y..You're...perfect...(Y/N)..." The man growled against my skin, his hands holding my hips steady as he pushed himself into me, the sounds of physical intimacy drowning out the light creak of bedsprings. "God..! Ev..rything...about you..!"

I reached up to grab and caress his back, his toned muscles rolling and tensing in the most delicious way. Up to his shoulder blades, I wasn't sure why I had searched for the base of a set of wings, but once I realised what I had been doing, I felt my guts twist, and it certainly wasn't due to impending orgasm.

That's right...you're not him...

Natsuo tore me out of my own head as he kissed me, his tongue dancing around inside my mouth and making me light headed. His pace increased, and I couldn't help but whine out loud.
"I never...wanna let you go...hah...hnnn...You're incredi..incredible..!" His praises were passionate and sincere, but I found myself faking my responses instinctively. His name wasn't the one that tingled at my lips, so I had to play it safe and keep myself grounded, despite the pleasure.

"K..Ke...Kiss me, Natsu...oh..!" I mewled and squirmed, crashing my lips to his and pulling him closer with my hold around his neck. The sweat on his skin, the pulsing of his cock as it relentlessly bucked, the way his own euphoric sounds jumped in pitch, it was obvious he was close, and I was glad for that. I hated that I was, but I felt sick.

Once he buried his face in my hair, I turned my head to the side, immediately regretting my decision. The red sweater than hung upon the back of his door caused my eyes to water, so I quickly closed them, willing away the vision of a cheeky, grinning face.
"I can't...keep going m..much longer..!" Natsuo announced, huffing and grunting as he finally pushed himself back up to hover over me, the muscles in his arms bulging and twitching. "Are you c..close..?"

Close to tears...

Nodding, I decided to dig into the depths of my past and make use of an old trick of the trade.
"F..fuck...Na..Natsuo...Don't stop..!" I whispered, digging my nails into the curve of his shoulders. "Please...hah...d..don't stop..!" I wasn't proud of myself. Actually, I hated myself for putting on a show and faking it, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Despite not being fully invested in our relationship, I cherished him and needed him. He would definitely become the cure for the disease named Takami Keigo.

Every part of Natsuo was all over me. His lips, his tongue, his teeth. His hands gripping me so hard I thought that maybe he feared that I would vanish from beneath him at any moment. That was what made our sexual exchange bitter. He was making love to me, whilst I was just going through the paces. The pitch of his grunting was my cue to put my acting skills to work. I silently thanked my past self for all of the kegel exercises I had done during my earlier years as I clenched down around his throbbing cock, squealing out a string of barely intelligible curses.

Sorry, Natsuo...it's not you...it's me...

I was suddenly swept up in a tight embrace, Natsuo's thrusting building up and up until that one, final buck, which nearly sent me through the head of the bed. His moan was loud and sensual, and I clung to him urgently, despising my very existence for being a lying piece of shit.

Panting and sweating buckets, Natsuo rolled off to the side, still holding me close. His heart was racing, and he bestrew kisses across my cheeks.
"I love you so much, (Y/N)..." He whispered softly, resting his forehead against mine. I was speechless, and very much wanted to burst out crying then and there because there was no possible way that I was ready to say it back, if ever.

"N..Natsuo...I-" He silenced me with a kiss, giving me a gentle butt to the head once pulling back.
"I don't want you to say it back. Not if you're still unsure. I just wanted you to know that I love you, and it's fine if you can't say it back now, or..." He trailed off, giving me one of the softest smiles I had ever seen. "You mean so much to me, (Y/N)."

That's it...I have to forget about Keigo...Natsuo is the one that loves me. Keigo lied. He hurt me. He hurt her...This is where I need to be...

"You're the best..." I whispered, scooting down and nuzzling my face into his bare chest, sighing as he pulled the blanket up and over us. Time ticked by. My eyes adjusted almost too well to the dark surrounding us as Natsuo snored lightly, holding me close. I felt safe, and I felt loved, but I just...

...felt like half of my heart was missing...

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***I will only accept TODOROKI NATSUO as my husband.

I went to a convention today wearing a WW1 gas mask (Mustard) and my throat is on FIRE because I OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T GET ALL THE CHEMICALS OUT.

But I got some cool merch though yeeyee

Next Time: Crawling***