Hawks wasn't there when I woke up in the morning.

Glancing at my alarm clock, the time read 5:27am, and the sun hadn't even risen yet. At first I thought that maybe it had been a vivid dream, but when I moved to roll over, the crinkling of paper made me realise it had been real. Scooting up until my back rested against the headboard, I flicked on the lamp and picked up the note, squinting to read it.

Sunshine, sorry I had to leave before you had a chance to wake up. I really am glad that you're willing to give me a second chance. I hope you won't regret it. I will come and see you very soon, and we can discuss the fight for liberation. Under the magazines on your dresser I have left a copy of the book I gifted Endeavor, so I hope you can give it a read as soon as possible. Don't worry about the agency, I'll ask the guys to keep things running so you don't have to juggle so many things. I have to keep my phone off for work, but I promise I'll be in contact. I've got a lot of making up to do, so I'm going to see if the two of us can have a few days to just be together. Somewhere quiet and secluded, without having to worry about anything else. 

I love you, 
Keigo 

At first, I thought it was just some stupidly long letter, but after reading it over and over, I realised that some letters were a little bolder than the rest. Not by much, but they spelled something out, and I quickly became concerned. Who was he working for? What was the goal? Why the fuck hadn't he done this in the first place?

Ugh, I've got a headache...

There was no point in trying to get back to sleep, so I started my day, making sure to have a long, scorching shower to get the ball rolling. I knew exactly what I had to do today, and I wasn't looking forward to it. I adored Natsuo to the moon and back, but Hawks was a part of me that I couldn't shake. It would only be cruel to continue on.

"Great..." I groaned as I stepped out onto the balcony, raindrops spitting down from the ashy grey heavens. It would start to snow again, soon, and I didn't exactly want a third costume upgrade. Ducking back inside, I retrieved one of Hawks' old visors, slipping it over my eyes before I took flight so I would at least avoid being blinded by icy rain.

It was still far too early to go and speak to Natsuo, so I decided to drift around for a while, which of course led me to buying a half-dozen bag of anpan and knocking against Endeavor's office window. When he lifted the blinds, he looked at me as though I was the biggest idiot in the world, but let me in anyway.

"Special delivery for the brute with the fire quirk who might be nice enough to warm me up so I don't catch a pneumonia." I chuckled as I flew in, immediately deactivating my quirk and handing over the soggy bag, which was thankfully only one of three layers I had requested.

"On days like this you should really consider public transport." Endeavor sighed, hovering his hand over the top of my head and activating his quirk just enough to act as a heater. Removing my borrowed visor, I shook it out, then ran my fingers through my hair so it would dry a little.
"Yeah, well, I'm a dumbass, plus I needed to clear my head."

Understatement of the century.

Once I was dry enough to meet Endeavor's standards, he lead me over to his desk, forcing me to sit down before taking his own seat and opening up the bakery bag.
"What's the issue now, then? I assume you're going to whine about it, seeing as you're in my office at six in the morning." He was right. I definitely had a whole lot to bitch and whine about, but I planned on cutting it all down to something a little more simple. At least in theory.

"Enji...would you hate me if I ended things with Natsuo..?" I asked, my demeanor changing instantly. The brawny man leaned back into his chair and took a bite of his anpan, making me wait for his answer.
"You would think that if I didn't already hate you after months of constant annoyance it would be impossible." He sighed, glancing over at my confused expression. "No, (Y/N), I wouldn't hate you."

I was glad to hear that, but I wasn't ready to be relieved yet.
"It's just...I really like your son...I do...and he's so good to me, but..." I bit my lip and looked up at the high ceiling, the rain pelting down outside. "Hawks and I had a talk last night, and-"
"Look, it was obvious that you two were going to get back together. Natsuo probably already knew that, but ignored it. Now, I don't know him as well as I should, but he's a good kid. He'll understand."

But either way he's gonna be hurt...

I forced myself to take a bite of one of the buns, the red bean paste inside oozing out and chasing away what little appetite I had.
"Oh, also...I know..." When I looked up to meet Endeavor's sharp eyes of sapphire, I knew I didn't need to explain anything. What made Endeavor so special? I was Hawks' wife, for god's sake, why hadn't he told me?

"We're waiting on more information. The second we have what we need, Shigaraki Tomura and his pack of bastards will be eliminated." I nearly hacked up the small portion of food I had swallowed right across the table into the man's lap, my eyes wide and body rigid.
"Wait, wait, hold up there, bucko..! He's infiltrating the League of Villains?!"

Endeavor looked taken aback for a few moments before narrowing his eyes, slowly placing his bun back down onto the paper.
"You...said you knew..." Standing up, I began to pace. The amount of times I had stomped back and forth on that exact floor, it was a wonder how I hadn't left a groove.
"I knew he was under cover! I didn't know he was prancing around with the fucking League!" I screeched, hands flailing about in the air.

"Paranormal Liberation Front, now. They merged with an existing group, and now...there's thousands of them...if not millions..." Endeavor knew that fact wasn't good for my health, but I appreciated it more than he could have imagined. A lot of things were beginning to make sense. The long trips, the lies, the attack. Unwittingly, we had become tangled in a dangerous web.

"Well, eat my ass and call me daddy, I'm gonna fucking beat his gallus ass!" Facepalming a little harder than I had intended, I didn't take much notice of Endeavor's disgusted expression, stopping by the wall and leaning my forehead against it. "So, right now, he's playing bffs with the country's most dangerous villain organisation...Oh god, I'm gonna be sick..."

Shuffling over, my companion nudged his wastepaper basket between my toes and his wall.
"If you are, please do so in there..." He didn't have any time to back away, as I turned around and grabbed him by the collar, using his legs as footing to equalise our heights.
"Why didn't anyone warn me I was marrying a suicidal maniac?!" I barked, stress catching up with me and pulling the strings. "You knew and you didn't even tell me! What the hell, you flaming beefwad?!"

Unimpressed, but surprisingly understanding, Endeavor allowed me to yell directly into his face, only moving once I was finished so he could wipe my spittle from his cheeks.
"Apart from the fact that it is a confidential operation, I didn't tell you because I knew Hawks was trying to keep you safe. You're young, and you're inexperienced. This isn't your fight."

That pissed me right off. Climbing higher, my boots dug into his thighs and I towered over him, only managing to keep my balance because he leaned back, taking my weight.
"This is my fight, because I'm his motherfucking wife, and one of those dirty rotten bastards is responsible for the death of my daughter, Enji!" I hissed, knowing that I was quite possibly foaming at the mouth. "From here on in, you keep me updated on every shred of information you get, you got that, bean-bun-boy?!"

Endeavor nodded, but I couldn't quite tell if he was intimidated or just plain annoyed by my delivery.
"Fine. Now, would you please remove yourself?" Relaxing a little, I nodded, but paused before actually doing anything.

"Uh, maybe crouch down a little...You're tall..."

----------------------------------------------

*Knock knock*

It had taken twelve minutes and thirty two seconds for me to gather up enough courage to knock on Natsuo's dormitory door. The new house for his family wasn't quite finished yet, so if my calculations were correct, then he would have recently gotten home from the gym.

The door creaked open slowly, and the boy's eyes lit right up, a big smile stretching across his face.
"Sugar! I didn't know you were coming over today! I would've taken a shower!" When he moved in for a hug, I allowed it, but when he went to give me a kiss, I turned my head away, receiving it on the cheek.
"Hey, Natsuo. You're not busy, are you..?"

Confused, but still smiling, the snowy-haired Todoroki closed the door behind him and followed me into the small living area, watching me sit down on his couch.
"Nope, I was actually going to call you and see if you wanted to go out, but you beat me to it." He chuckled, choosing to study me instead of sitting down by my side.

I don't want to do it...but...

"Natsuo, we need to ta-"
"Talk...Yeah, I figured as much when you dodged me just now." This time, his chuckle was weaker, more reserved, and I felt terrible. He was a smart guy, so I didn't need to beat around the bush.
"You know that I really care about you, right..?" It was a stupid start, but I was nervous. He didn't deserve what was to come.

Carefully, without taking his eyes off of me, he moved to sit across from me in the armchair, giving me space.
"Of course I do." He rested his elbows on his knees, leaning forward a little and clapping his hands together. As his legs bounced, so did they, and I swallowed back my urge to prematurely apologise.

"G..good...I just...I really do, truly adore you, Natsuo, I do...but...I just-"
"(Y/N), it's okay. You can just say it." Whipping my eyes up from the floor, I was met with the most heartbreaking sight. Natsuo was smiling at me, and never before had I seen such a warm, gentle expression on his face. "You're breaking up with me. You don't have to explain yourself."

This...this isn't...

Hot tears began to streak down my face, and I gripped onto the plush of the cushion beneath me.
"I..it isn't okay..! Natsuo, I used you! I..I mean, I care about you, s..so fucking much, but I-"
"Hey, hey hey hey, no tears..." Standing up, Natsuo walked over and sat beside me, rubbing my back with his hand. "I know you care about me, Sugar. You love your husband, and I completely get that. I kinda knew from the start, but I guess I got a little selfish. Come on, don't cry..."

Breaking out into gasping sobs, I spun to wrap my arms around Natsuo's neck, burying my face into the crook of his neck and letting myself drown in temporary self-hatred.
"How can you be so un..understanding?! Just..just tell me how horrible I am and be mad at me! You shouldn't be okay with me screwing you over!" I cried, just sobbing harder as he shushed me with gentle whispers and pats to the head.

"You're not horrible, (Y/N). If your heart belongs to him, then I'm okay with that. As long as he loves you back, and keeps you safe, then I'm happy. Your smile means a lot more to me than being able to kiss you and hold you..." He explained, tilting my head up so he could make me see his face. That smile of his was so genuine, but his eyes were deep, dark and sad. A stormy sea, clouded by mist and sorrow.

"I..I'm s..so sorry..." I hugged him again, but this time I forced myself to pull back. Standing up, I wiped my eyes and held my hands close to my chest, trying to gain control of my emotions. "You called y..yourself selfish...but I'm the selfish one...I want to stay friends, but...that just wouldn't be fair..."

I hate this...

Natsuo remained seated, keeping his calm and caring demeanor.
"Are you kidding? Just try and get rid of me! Give yourself a little bit of time, and I'll be right here. The best friend you'll ever have, guaranteed!" He closed his eyes and grinned, thumbing towards himself with a surge of pride, but I wasn't stupid. I knew that was his way of saying he needed time. The moment I walk out the door, he'd drop the facade, and I detested myself for ever dragging him into my bullshit.

"You're an amazing man, Natsuo. The best...Whenever you're ready, let me know, and I'll be there whenever you need me..." It was a pathetic offer, but it was all I had. If I stayed any longer, I'd crumble, and I didn't need him to see me reach any more breaking points.
"I'm just a call away! If you need a shoulder, I've got you covered!" He beamed, but the usual light that shone from him had dulled.

Nodding sadly, I moved over towards the window, opening it slowly and wincing as the frosty breeze seemed to harden my tears.
"I'll leave this way...just so the other guys in the dorms don't ask you any questions..." I sniffled, clearing my throat as I guided my leg through the opening. "Seriously, Natsuo...I..I'm really s-"
"Fly carefully, o..okay? Stay safe and don't go getting into too much trouble!"

Natsuo's voice broke, and all I could manage was a sharp nod before I all but threw myself out the window, activating my quirk the moment I was clear of the building. Looking back wasn't an option. If I had, my guilt would have eaten away at the last fraction of life I had left in me. Now, I only had one thing left to do, and it was, by far, the hardest on the list.

I have to help my husband..!

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***Excuse me whilst I build a Natsuo shrine in the middle of my room and beg him for forgiveness.

Next Time: Making Sense***