I know your secret

Urie:
...

*cracks knuckles* I have all day, Urie

*whispers* All day...

Urie:
PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!!!!

I'LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING!!!!

I want answers, boi

Urie:
OKAY, SO I PUT ON A BLONDE WIG AND BECOME HANNAH, BUT I'M STILL ME!!!

What?

Urie:
What?

I didn't say anything...

I met about you being married and shit, but I mean, now you have my attention

As you were saying, Urie

Urie:
How'd you know I was married?

Kira told me, but for real tho, what's that thing about the wig?

Urie:
It's nothing, and I'm pretty sure it's the same way with Sarah and me

**Sarah and I

Carry on, I'm listening

Urie:
There's not much to say, it's just not working out :/

That sucks, have you guys tried like that couple's therapy or whatever

Urie:
Yeah, like a couple times, but we just end up arguing about it later

Honestly, I have had only
like one serious relationship in my life, so I can't really help you out there

Really sorry though

Urie:
Thanks, I appreciate it

And I mean I was gonna come over here and kick your butt, so you're lucky I let this one go :)

Urie:
Oh really? Is that what you were planning? XD

Yeah, so consider yourself fortunate, Urie. It won't happen again.

Urie:
I'll make sure to appreciate every second I have then

Of course you will, I'm here.

And that's always appreciated :)

Urie:
Except when it's not.

Hey, I just gave you a warning, I'd be careful if I were you

Urie:
Oh yeah?

Yeah, I can be extremely dangerous, you know?

Urie:
Uh huh, sure

I'm serious

You do not wanna mess with alllllll this

Urie:
I'm sure I don't

I may be 5'3 but I can still kick ass.

Urie:
And I'm sure you can

Aw, you're 5'3? THAT'S SO CUTE, YOU'RE TINY!!!

IT. IS. NOT. ADORABLE. NOR. CUTE.

Urie:
Please, everything small is cute

"What a cute grenade."

"How cute is that bottle of poison?"

"It's so cute, can I have that tarantula?"

Urie:
Point made, but I'm still not scared of little ol' you

Mark my words, Urie

"I WILL BE FEARED"

Urie:
Sure you will, I'm changing your contact to 'Cute Grenade'

What was it before?

Urie:
'Adorableness'

What was mine?

'BrAndon' then 'Urie', but I'm thinking of changing it to 'Gorgeous Man'

Gorgeous Man:
Well, Cute Grenade, good night :)

Good night, Gorgeous Man :)