HAVE YOU EVER known the dirtiest secret of someone sitting right next you with them knowing you've found it out? Let me tell you just how incredibly awkward it is, and if it isn't then chances are the tension is insanely high. By the time I had let Brendon know my address I was already preparing myself for what was to come. At first, it seemed risky, still might be, but when Sarah got off the car and headed straight for me, I knew I just had to do it.

I was going to bring up the kiss.

It was all I could think about when Brendon said Sarah was going to be with me today. How were we going to behave when I'm sure we both remember exactly what we did that night? Was Sarah ever going to explain on why she did it? The longer she kept silent about it the more I became frustrated and downright obsessed. So to end the nonstop thoughts and assumptions, today was the day I finally asked about that night. Sarah was on her phone, casually laying on my sofa without a care in the world. She seemed so peaceful, which is when the guilt set in.

Maybe Sarah was avoiding the situation because she wasn't ready to face it herself. Sure, the kiss could've been just a drunk mishap, but it could've also been Sarah's first realization that she wasn't entirely all about boys. Coming to this conclusion only made things worse. A battle had begun inside my head over asking or letting go. Was I really about to bring this heavy load of stress on to the poor girl when she was probably already freaking out about her inner emotions? Sarah nonchalantly double-tapped Josh Dun's photo about Tyler, still not looking at all worried. Or I could just be blowing this way out of proportion and it really was just a mistake that should die in the past. The suspense was going to kill me. How in the world was Sarah still so calm during all of this?

"Hey, you wanna go get a burger or something?" Sarah's brown, soft hair whacked my face as she turned to face me creeping up behind her. "Sure, burgers sound good right now." I responded, sweat building up around my neck. "Penelope, are you feeling alright, you look a little sick?" Her hand met my cheek to check for any signs of fever. "I'm fine, really-"

"Jesus, you're burning up! Maybe we should stay home-"

"Nothing a burger can't cure! Come on, there's this really good place down the street with the best burgers ever." The door swung widely and hit the wall as I marched out the house with Sarah leashed to me by hand.

• • •

When we got to the place, I stormed into the restroom and splashed my face with water. "Pull yourself together, woman. Brendon's counting on you." Coaxing myself little by little I was able to relax and stroll out casually without tripping over my own paranoia. Sarah smiled brightly as I approached our table, every inch of me shaking. "Penny, are you sure you're okay? Let's just go home-"

"No!" I said, somewhat yelled. Some eyes turned our way, but I didn't care, what was important to me was how I was going to go about this. I made up my mind, the question was going to be asked whether Sarah was ready or not, but I needed to be subtle. Even if I didn't ask directly, I needed something to keep from exploding. "What would you ladies like to drink?" An opportunity arose as a good looking girl came to take our order. "We'll have Piña Coladas please." With a small sticky note, I wrote,'Make mine non-alcoholic please ;)'and slipped it to her. I was going to get an answer, all I needed was a drunk Sarah who was ready to spill every pretty little secret.

The waitress saw my note and gave a small gasp. "What is it?" Sarah asked worryingly. To my surprise, the waitress seemed very happy after viewing that note. She then winked at me and said,"Coming right up." When she walked away with a slight bounce to her step I looked at Sarah who was beginning to giggle. "That was weird, haha." I smiled at the girl, I felt semi-guilty for barging into her life like I had. One day she was happily married and the next she's kissing people while drunk.

"So that waitress..."I subtly began,"She's really cute, isn't she?" Sarah went a dark red and chuckled,"Yeah I guess." I squinted, trying to figure out just what was running through that head of hers. Surely the waitress was cute, anyone would say that with the way her blonde hair seemed so vibrant even though put into a messy bun it really matched her bold, bright, brown eyes that grabbed your attention immediately, she was insanely beautiful no doubt. However, anyone seeking a romantic attraction to her would say a different remark than someone who wasn't and was simply admiring a good looking human. "Why do you ask?" Sarah's eyes burned into my corneas as if I was staring at the sun. "Oh, nothing, I was just wondering if maybe I could also pull off wearing a bun like that and still look cute." A sigh blew out of Sarah,"I bet you still would." It was in a hushed voice, but I heard it clearly. Not even men have spoken to me like that.

"Do you think I could it off?" I asked, just to make sure I wasn't hearing things. "Definitely, you're a really pretty girl, I'm sure you could pull anything off." A small shrieking noise erupted from the back of my throat. "Here are your drinks, ladies. I believe someone had a big announcement to make!" Automatically, I went wide-eyed to the comment. What did she know? How did she know? Does she somehow know Sarah? What is she not telling me?!

"Excuse me?" Asked the brunette who reached out for her drink. "Oh, you're not ready to tell her? Yikes, I thought that's why you were here! I should really stop talking now. Okay bye." It seemed that the words were directed to me and not Sarah. Why in the world would I tell her an announcement? It's not like there's anything big to announce anyhow.

"Penny, is there something you want to tell me?"

"No there is nothing I want- actually,"An idea had snaked its way into my head,"there is something. It's really not that big of a deal, I just, I just haven't told anyone about it and I feel that with you, I can say it and not be judged." Truth is, I have nothing special going on, but if I somehow get Sarah to spill her beans first, I can finally get an answer. "Oh sure, honey, you can tell me anything!" Her hand had wrapped around mine in a comforting manner. "I don't know, maybe you could tell me something you haven't told anyone before? That way I'm not alone." A blush fell over her face,"I don't think I have anything to say." It was then I started to fake cry, adding some sniffles here and there. "No, it's fine really. I don't think I'm ready to say anything anyway."

Sarah rubbed my hand gently,"Okay, okay, I was lying. I actually do have a secret, but I'm not ready to say anything either. I guess it's now or never." I stopped crying instantly and focused hard on whatever words were to fall out. "It's okay, Sarah, I'm listening."

"I don't know if you remember..." her voice was low,"But we got drunk one time and something happened." I sipped my drink, Sarah mirrored my actions. "Oh dear, what possibly could have gone wrong?" The fakest concerned tone was consistent throughout each word. "We...we...I..." Now or never woman, I don't have all day,"...kissed you." I tried to act surprised, but it wasn't at all believable. "You already knew didn't you?" Sarah's face fell and began to grow soft. "Kind of, I've been wanting to bring it up but it never felt like the right time." I genuinely smiled at Sarah who had begun to tear up.

The waitress came by to ask about our food orders, but stopped when she saw Sarah crying. "Oh, joy, so you told her you were pregnant!"

"What?!"