Can you belive that I have Melanie Martinez as an actual contact on my phone?

Beebo:

Can you believe Sarah and I got into another fight?

Holy shit, what happened? Also way to bum me out, man.

Beebo:

We got into a fight over dishes

Fucking

Dishes

Well did you wash them like the good husband I assume you are?

Beebo:

...

Goddammit Brendon, this is why your marriage is falling apart.

Beebo:

I'M TIRED! IS THAT A SIN TO YOU WOMEN?!

DON'T YOU USE THAT TONE WITH ME MR. URINE!!

Beebo:

YOU WANNA FITE ME BRO?!

LET'S GO BRO
CATCH ME OUTSIDE
HOW BOUT DAH

Beebo:

*catches you outside*

O shit

Beebo:

😂😂

Ugh, Sarah is packing her shit...again

Just wash the fucking dishes you lazy ass

Beebo:

Washing dishes doesn't match my aesthetic!1!1 DX RAWR

Jfc

Imma buy you a dishwasher, and you're gonna have to fucking use it before I stuff you inside it.

Beebo:

I'm kidding when I say I didn't wash them, I did. Sarah's been really on edge lately, I think something's up, I just can't get an answer because whenever I ask she's always like

"OMFG!1! LEAVE ME ALONE!1! I CAN LIVE MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU KNOWING EVERY SINGLE DAMN THING!1! DX RAWR"

Maybe Sarah's a teenager trapped in 2007

Beebo:

Pft, I'm just worried about her, she's been very distant lately and she gets pissed off at me for everything, I didn't wash one plate today and she snapped

Ooo
Maybe I can talk to her

Beebo:

And what are you gonna say?

Idk I'll use my feminine powers to snatch the truth out of her

Beebo:
Good luck boo