Crybabies:

Wifey:
Can you like NOT hide in the restroom?

I wanna throw up.

Kiki:
Why?

Wifey:
Who made you like this? Who must I sacrifice?

No one, it's just that I never thought I'd get this messed up when Brendon introduced me to Sarah.

Kiki:
I believe Penelope has caught the 'L' word

No, no I have not

Wifey:
You looooooooove him

We're barely on chapter 24! You honestly think I love Brendon after only a couple texts?

Wifey:
You're right, the readers won't believe you have enough chemistry

Kiki:
Yeah, we need to wait

Did you guys at least get our spot?

Wifey:
DUUUUUDE YES!!! THIS PLACE HAS SEATS! WE DON'T HAVE TO STAND! MY LEGS WON'T KILL ME!!

YAY!

Kiki:
I know right?! Oh and also Brendon's looking for you, Penny

Can you just tell him I needed to pee??

Wifey:
He knows something's up

Kiki:
I wonder if Brendon likes her...

He doesn't

Wifey:
I'm pretty sure he doesn't love you, but he feels something. The guy's really worried about you, Penny. If he likes you or not, you're still great friends.

Ugggghhhh I hate love.

It sucks.

Kiki:
I second this

Wifey:
I would say something but the author didn't give me my script.

She's getting really lazy about writing our stuff.

Kiki:
I know right?! I heard she's actually writing other stories that aren't even out yet, and it's causing other stories to be put on hold.

Omg, I hope we're not next I wanna see what's gonna happen in the future!

Wifey:
Yo, maybe we can tell the readers to like pass a message to the author.

Yeah, let's do that.

Wifey:
Okay, if you're reading this tell the author that she needs to quit writing that stupid 'Saving Rock & Roll' book about Melanie Martinez meeting almost every alternative band and saving rock music from this boring ass town.

Okay, but you have to admit, that sounds like a really good story.

Kiki:
We sounded like a really good story, and now she barely writes in us.

Wifey:
Whatever happens, I want you guys to know I love you

Same

Kiki:
I CAN'T DIE NOW, I HAVEN'T SEEN MELANIE LIVE YET!!!!

Author, please! Focus on our story please!! I mean how hard can writing text messages be?

Wifey:
She's probably stressed out from the non- text chapters that she has to write

Kiki:
She's got writer's block I think

Well I'm moving that block, there's no way I'm not gonna be written about, I have a life to live

Wifey:
Same #SaveOurStory

#SaveOurStory

Kiki:
#SaveOurStory