I crossed Las Ramblas and decided to head straight into the Raval neighborhood. At this hour, there should still be enough activity for the only danger to be a drunk person looking for a conversation.

I turned right, then left, walking a couple of streets without stopping to check if the football player was following me or if she had decided to go back home. I wasn't ready to face the consequences of my decisions. The whole conversation had been a desperate attempt to escape, and in the end, as always, Alexia had made me talk too much.

There were only two streets left until I reached my building. I turned another corner and came face to face with horror. The lights were dim, and everything was practically deserted. What time was it supposed to be? I cursed when I realized it was past five. It wasn't a special day; it was normal to encounter something like this. I was convinced it was still much earlier.

I quickened my pace, trying to spend as little time there alone as possible. I could hear voices, laughter from some men around. I felt uneasy. For a moment, I thought I even heard footsteps behind me. That's when a hand grabbed my arm forcefully, stopping me in my tracks. I couldn't help but scream.

"Damn it, Mia!" Alexia rolled her eyes. "It's me."

"You scared the hell out of me," I complained in a whisper, trying to bring my heartbeat back to normal.

"I'm sorry I grabbed you like that." She apologized sincerely. A comfortable silence enveloped us, but it was tense in a convoluted way. The relief that it was the blonde's hand that had grabbed me made me feel at ease by her side. Alexia looked strong and confident in front of me, calm, taking steps on the cobblestones as if they were melodic, her eyes fixed on the façades of the buildings that partially blocked the sky. "How is it like living here?" she asked, looking around.

"Well..."

"I really like this neighborhood."

"The Raval?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "It's not the best place to wander around."

"Maybe not, but it's very beautiful, don't you think?" She took a deep breath. "I see it as very... Barcelona-like, if that makes sense. I like old things."

"Then you probably liked my place. There's probably not a single piece of furniture from this century."

The blonde started walking silently, one step behind me. And that's when I realized I had done it again. Walking through the Raval didn't matter to her; she wanted to escort me. What fascinated me the most about Alexia was her ability to lead me where she wanted, under her rules, with her desired outcome. Entering after an argument as if nothing happened and making her follow me home seem organic, even being able to say now that it was me who had offered her a historic tour focused on a second look at my furniture. And that's precisely why I couldn't give in.

Alexia walked behind me. The voices and laughter coming from the side streets didn't disturb me in the slightest. I felt calm, completely at ease. It was like a nighttime stroll filled with silence and tranquility, as if it were a meditation session.

"Don't you like them?" she asked.

"old things?" I nodded. "Well, I don't see myself buying antique watches or dressers with non-sliding drawers."

"I don't mean that," she replied with a shy smile. I looked at her, allowing myself to walk backward, trusting that I had walked this path enough times not to collide with any curbs. "Old things, really old. The Roman Colosseum, Stonehenge, the Alhambra," she spoke to the sky.

"You're a nerd," I rolled my eyes, turning back around, knowing I would have to dodge some bollards soon. "I don't think I've seen even the first of those old stones you mentioned."

"You should," she responded. "It's dizzying to see myself so small in the history of humanity. So many years filled with people doing things and things..."

"Coming from you... you've done significant things."

"In the end, kicking a ball is just kicking a ball," she said, slowing down her pace, noticing that I stopped near one of the doors. "It's not like I discovered penicillin."

Alexia finally came to a complete stop and put her hands in her pockets, waiting for me to enter. Her brow was relaxed, but her mouth serious.

"Weren't you and I angry with each other?"

I wanted to burst out laughing, but it turned into a strange grimace. I wanted to be like this with her, to see how she took care of me, how she laughed with me, how she understood my jokes and looked at me, pretending it wasn't a challenge, a game, allowing me to be something more. Just enjoying it a little longer.

"I am angry with you," She said. Her response wasn't cold, but it was decisive and serious. I couldn't help but be surprised.

"You with me?"

She bit her cheek from the inside and looked down at the ground.

"You think all of this is to convince you to sleep with me."

"Isn't that what you want?" I challenged.

"No!... Well, yes; but not in the way you think."

I sighed.

"Alexia, I understand. You felt attraction and wanted to have me close. There's nothing wrong with that. You thought I took advantage of you and what you could give me if I played hard to get a little longer." I couldn't help the words from coming out with a tinge of resentment. "I don't blame you for wanting that, but I can't do it."

"You can't do it?"

"No, I can't."

"Marc?" she questioned.

I couldn't help but let out a sarcastic laugh.

"Marc? Ha, no."

"But then, what do you think...?"

"I know," I interrupted. I didn't want to cry again. If I did, I would look ridiculous, begging for affection. "No one has to find out; you should do what you want. Why deny it to yourself?" I took a deep breath. "I'm going to deny it. It's not just because of the job; I'm going to deny it for myself."

"Not just because of the job," she repeated.

Alexia smiled unabashedly, wide and full of amusement, but above all, with relief. Like someone searching for their glasses for hours while wearing them. The problem was so simple, the solution, so obvious, she could almost touch it with her fingers.

"It would have been so easy, Ale," I rubbed my eyes. "Why didn't you sleep with me that day? The day you came to my house." I looked into her eyes, trying to ignore the fact that her mouth was curved in a smile. "I would have done it. We would have done it, I would have done what I wanted, as you say. But now things are more complicated than that. Now..."

The footballer took my face in her hands, her smile radiant. I was holding back my tears now that she was close. I blinked several times, trying to understand the reason, completely caught off guard during my speech.

"Mía, I don't want to just sleep with you," I blinked several times, feeling stupid for even allowing myself to think that she was suggesting what I thought she was suggesting. "If I kiss you now, will you disappear again?"

There was the silence again. Alexia didn't complain this time. I finally opened the door from behind, not moving away from her even an inch. We entered with difficulty.

"Come up," I simply said.

I needed to test something, to see how far I could go. Alexia nodded, suddenly losing her casualness. Quietly, we climbed the stairs in a comfortable silence that wasn't broken until we entered the house.

************

BE PREPARED