"Cheers to you, girl," Irene winked at me and urged everyone sitting around my coffee table on the floor and scattered among the sofas to do the same as her and raise their beers.

I joined them, feeling a bit embarrassed.

We were celebrating. That night with Alexia had left me reflecting on the direction my life was taking and the unfulfilled dreams we keep tucked away in a drawer, waiting for an ordinary day that never comes to be the right one to rescue them.

On the next day after that still strangely unfamiliar night, I didn't have to work. I woke up with a terrible headache and a strange sensation in my body, but at the same time, as the conversations from the previous night replayed in my mind, I began to feel more determined than I had ever felt before.

I spent the entire day, from morning to night, searching for clinics and sending my resume and whatever they asked for to each one I found. The waiting for opportunity to come knocking in front of my face was over; I was going to seize it with strength.

I had wanted Alexia to be the first to know the news. I sent her a direct message as soon as I received the email confirming my interview, but she hadn't responded, she hadn't even seen it.

I felt a bit silly for thinking she would have replied. She probably received thousands of messages every day that would end up in requests along with mine, getting lost there forever. Besides, even if she had seen it, I had no certainty that she would have replied.

In the past month, I had seen Alexia only twice. She had come to have a drink at the bar and enjoy the pirate night two Thursdays ago. I had approached to serve the players, and Mapi even greeted me with energy and a huge smile.

The first time, Alexia just said "Hi", not even looking at me again, and the second time, she greeted me with a gesture and a half-smile that turned into a somewhat strange face. It didn't surprise me that she had been scared away by me since the night we spent together and the completely illogical way I had behaved. Still, I couldn't help but feel a little sad.

"I've already told you I don't want to get my hopes up..."

Several pairs of sarcastic eyes focused on me. Irene snorted with gusto, and Raquel gave me a push.

"Are you dumb?" the dark-haired girl complained. "We're here to celebrate that you've finally mustered the courage."

"Exactly," Celia nodded convincingly and reached for another piece of pizza. "Once you've taken that step, if it's not in this clinic, it'll be in another; but you'll get there before you know it."

I smiled widely.

We didn't get together often, especially all five of us. Miguel, Irene, Celia, Raquel, and I had met in the first year of university, during the orientation days at the student residence and we hadn't separated since then. However, over time, life and its phases had driven us much further apart than we would have thought.

Miguel was getting married in a few months to his longtime girlfriend whom we adored madly. He had always said he would love to be a young father, so with the wedding just around the corner and the preparations, we were seeing him less, but it was likely that we would see him even less in the near future.

Raquel, the dark-haired little monster of one and a half meters, had decided to study another degree while working. The only way to find her was to swap our favorite café for the watery coffee they served at the library.

Celia was perhaps the worst. I never knew where she was. She would respond to messages once a week, saying something like, "Sorry, I hadn't read it. I just arrived at my new apartment in Romania." I suppose the world was never big enough for her.

But Irene, yes, Irene was with me. She had a boring civil service job that left her with free afternoons to waste time with me and enough money to spend on coffees at my bar to keep me company.

And despite all of this, everyone had been here today to order pizzas and have a couple of beers to celebrate my first interview for a psychologist position.

"We've finished them all in the end. I told you they wouldn't be enough," Raquel crossed her arms.

"I'm still hungry," Miguel complained.

"Well, we can order a couple more, but they'll take a while," I said. Everyone seemed fine with it, so I grabbed the laptop that was lying between a couple of cushions on the sofa and went to the pizzeria's website. "Ham and cheese, four cheese, and barbecue?"

"Cool," Celia winked at me.

"They really hike up the prices for delivery," I raised an eyebrow.

"Hey! I have an idea," Miguel exclaimed. "Marc hasn't had dinner yet either. Tell him to pick them up on his way here."

"Marc is probably already at home," I replied calmly, finishing up the order.

"Is he not coming?" Celia furrowed her brow. I shook my head. "And why is that?"

I stood up to put the laptop in a better place than getting lost in the sofa when I saw Irene eager to respond.

"Because he feels like being a fucking idiot. You know how he is."

"Damn," I sighed. "You're really harsh on him."

"I can't stand him," she crossed her arms. "He's a child and a manipulator."

"Wow!" I exclaimed in disbelief.

"But what did he do now?" Raquel asked sincerely. "God, you never tell us anything."

"You don't have time to listen to my rants."

"That's not very 'I've studied psychology' of you, Mia," Miguel retorted.

I shrugged.

"He's been really insistent about the house and stuff," I sighed. "I know I may not be giving it my all, but his way of letting me know... He gets disproportionately angry just because something doesn't excite me as much as it does him, and then he disappears until he gets over it."

"The silent treatment?" Raquel confirmed.

I nodded, and she did too, understanding.

"See? An asshole," Irene declared.

The room fell silent. No one disputed Irene's final statement, in which she vented her anger against my boyfriend.

I didn't mind. In a way, I thought he deserved it. He wasn't a bad guy. He was attentive, nice, and trustworthy. The problem was that he was all those things in a very unstable manner. Maybe he was like that today, but what if he had a bad day tomorrow?

Despite that, I believed that Marc might have a point in his frustration and that he didn't feel like coming to celebrate today. I wasn't the most involved person in the move and sometimes I wasn't even sure if I was doing it out of excitement to live with him or simply because it was the next step after so much time and progress. We had been together for a few years, it had been a serious relationship from the beginning, his nephews called me aunt. When he asked me to move together, it just seemed logical to me.

I locked eyes with my friend Irene, the only one I thought could pull me out of the kind of limbo between sadness, anger, and confusion that I was in. All my friends were here, all my confidants. Irene raised both eyebrows, clearly prepared to give me a good scolding for defending Marc, but just as she was about to speak, a beep sounded.

"The pizza!" Raquel shouted excitedly, jumping off the couch and heading to the door.

We looked at her incredulously, holding back our laughter.

"You're really deaf," Miguel teased.

"It's my phone," I laughed as I reached for my phone on the kitchen counter, leaving my friends to tease the dark-haired girl.

[@MíaReyVaz] alexiaputellas: DID YOU REALLY???
[@MíaReyVaz] alexiaputellas: I told you that you could do it!! I'm sure the interview will go great, they'll love you ❤️

I blinked several times trying to process the new information that had just come in. Alexia had read my message. Alexia had answered. Alexia was happy about it. Alexia is trusting me and encouraging me. Alexia hasn't distanced herself from me because of the other night.

The other night.

The other night wiped away all the cluttered thoughts in my head, separating them from ornaments, awkwardness, and detours, leaving only one question that could answer many of them.

I returned to the living room. My friends were still laughing at Raquel, who kept justifying herself by talking about how tired she was from the exam she had the day before, and I locked eyes with Irene again. She fell silent instantly, waiting to hear what was eating at me so much that if it didn't come out of my mouth, it would come out straight from my stomach.

"How did you know you liked a girl?"