Part of Lila's soul died and never came back the day her husband died. She didn't know why but... ever since that day... that God damn dreaded day. She didn't know what else to do. She just couldn't accept it. She refused to accept it. But she had to do it anyway. No matter what amount of pure stress ran through her, she had to accept the undeniable truth that destroyed her feelings.

He was dead... gone, buried. He was gone, he would never be with her again. And she honestly hated it. What kind of world, what kind of very cruel world would kill a man, so handsome and young? She didn't understand it at all 

The deputy told her everything the cops knew about the case. And what they told her made her shiver everywhere. She felt her body running cold as she heard those words... those same damn words. Those same damn words.

"I'm sorry to inform you, Miss Lila," the deputy said with a long sigh. Even he thinks that this was messed up. Lila could see his face, usually always happy every time she saw him. Was no longer such. He only rubbed his hands and then sighed. "Your husband was unfortunately found dead a day ago. His body was found in the woods as well,"

"How did he die?" Lila suddenly blurted out, panic consuming her very soul.

The deputy scratched his head and sighed. Nervously rubbing his head and then answering.

"Died of some heart attack," was all he said.

She immediately went into tears and grabbed her head after that. She freaked out and stood still, shaking harder and pulling her hair. Breaths, which used to be normal, had skyrocketed into quick, short gasps for air. She continued to stand there for minutes, for minutes on end.

What is she going to do? They had a kid together; they had plans, and they had a million things to do. But... this world was cruel I guess. Sometimes people just can't have the happy ending Lila wanted.

Before she closed the door, she turned her head to stare into her son's eyes. He was shocked, unaware of what was going on. He frowned while having his ice cream. Lila could have easily understood what feelings he felt. It only made her heart break even more.

She went to bed that night, alone. She grabbed a nearby pillow and buried her face in it. Only sleeping out of exhaustion. Not of peace.

The next day, she grabbed everything that reminded her of her husband. All the items he owned, everything that she had of him like pictures they took or the robe. And then she put all of it in a dusty old box. And brought up to the more dusty old attic to put it on the bottom shelf. She took his cultist robe and put it on the top shelf. She kept putting them away until there weren't anymore. It was a hard decision, yeah, really hard.

But she did it anyway, knowing that she would feel worse if she just... left them around.

The worst part was how it affected their son Skid. Every day, the kid asked why, just what was going on with his Dad. 

"Where is he?" He would ask. It was to the point where Lila couldn't take it anymore.

She always told him horrible excuses for hiding his demise at first. Like "Oh, he's just on vacation," or, "Oh, he's just too busy at work, you know how he is,"

But Skid, being the smart boy he was, knew she was lying. So Lila just straight up told him that his dad was gone and never to be seen again one day. He cried but she knew she did the right thing. Her son deserved the truth. She should have said it sooner.

But despite all of this, despite the death, the grieving. And the fact that lies have been involved at least once. There was still something that made Lila's heart break even more than she would admit. Something that made her soul wretch more than she thought.

In a cruel sense of irony, her husband and she discussed this situation, if any of them had something happen to him. And these words still haunted her to this very day:

"Lila, if I ever die sweetheart," he would say, caressing her cheek as he looked at her. "You should move on and date someone if I ever died. Skid needs some other parental figure and I don't want you to be depressed and have my death negatively affect you more than it should. I care too much about you for that to happen,"

She nodded and said the same thing. To this day, she's still trying to do that. She's been trying to get back into the dating game but... it's not been working at all. Due to taking care of Skid and work, everything's been slow.

And besides... one person caught her eye. The one she had an extreme love and passion for would be impossible to get. No matter how much she tried.

And that person was Jaune... Sweet, sweet Jaune.

Jaune was a very close friend of Lila; she had been there ever since high school. They spent their whole time together since then. She was a fun-loving, chill woman, with a sense of fun that no one would understand. 

Hell, she even planned their marriage. And Lila couldn't stop thinking about her.

She was fucking gorgeous. Lila thought she was straight but Jaune was the type of girl that would make you question your sexuality in a heartbeat. Her adorable smile was like the shining white of a paradise sea; her well-kept hair was a golden blonde so precious that leprechauns would want to own it. Her body was perfectly warm and curvy.

She was everything Lila wanted, and her husband would have wanted that as well if he was alive if she wanted to assume. She wanted her so much. She wanted to admit this, admit her perfect affection and desire to make Jaune hers...

In the first few days after finding out about her husband's passing. She got hugged by Jaune while she sobbed. She hugged back, arms clinging to her tightly like an MMA fighter tapping out someone. Cried all over her shoulder too. She wanted to thank Jaune for that but the grief easily took her.

Even besides that, Jaune took some time, rubbed the tears off Lila's face with her thumbs, and said gently, "Hey, it's alright Lila, just... settle down,"

Ever since then, she's always been acting weirdly close to Jaune. She couldn't count how many times she took the chance to hold Jaune's hand for brief periods. Jaune didn't notice, she barely even realized that her friend had an obvious crush on her. She's always tried to spend time with her as much as she possibly could too. Always bought her shit she probably didn't need once and a while.

She had dreams about her, about holding her, kissing every inch of her body. Dreams about her silently sleeping next to her and squeezing her. Telling her that she loved every damn inch of her.

All of those dreams drove Lila crazy. 

Not only that, she thought that Jaune would be the perfect parent for Skid. She's always been nice and caring for him. She was the only real choice for Lila.

But, as with her husband's death, life is not going to let Lila get away with a happy, enjoying life. Even she had to admit that this relationship wouldn't even work. Lila had no idea if Jaune was into girls at all, or if she even approved of Lila's homosexual desires. But the worst part was...

She was married to a buff man named Aaron. She was already taken since Lila was married. They even had a kid together way before Lila had. She didn't understand it... Why can't she catch a break? Why did she have to be attracted to someone already committed to another?

She was now in her bed, once again a million times before. Her house is a mess, her son was sobbing and had to be hugged. A priest called her a shitty parent for drinking. And not only that, she's still thinking about her. Thinking about Jaune. She has no idea what she's going to do anymore...

What was the point of this?

"I wish I had you..." Lila mumbled as she pulled out an image of her & Jaune from the nightstand, tracing her fingers over the parts where Jaune was. "I really wish I had you,"