What is the definition of reality?

What is the definition of existence?

What is the definition of peace?

All I see is chaos

no such thing as beautiful art in this world

it all a fantasy

a place where we wish to be in forever

my mind can wander for hours and hours

is it a gift or is it a curse?

Who Am I?

Who are you?

Are you real?

Am I real?

because I can smile

I can show emotions

But is it true emotions?

when I get home those thing fade away

the mask disappear leaving

a lifeless body behind

I don't feel hungry

I can goes days without food

because I don't sense it

I don't know If I have a choice or not

everyday

I force to smile

talk

make new friends

It too much already...

go home just to close the door to have few minutes of isolation

a few minutes to say I'm safe

a few minutes to forget me

But everything has to go wrong every single day...

arguments...

family dinner doesn't feel safe for me anymore...

one wrong topic...

everyone anger

leap onto me

ask why I become angry

ask why I become numb

ask why I become silent

Can everything stop for a moment in time?

I have lost my self already

I cry

I panic

Get scared when people argue

even if it just a movie...

I would freeze up

start to look around

as everything around starts to shake

I hate when people abuse the ability of empathy

they don't have it

so they are continually using me

I know a kid

he and I used to be friend with each other

all he does is ask me to tell him how he felt right now

because he knows I can feel his emotions and pain

little do he know

I'm slowly dying due to that

every day he asks me to

I said

I felt stress, hungry

headaches pain

all of that gradually came to me

Because it was from him...

he said

"wow that how I feel."

"again please."

This is a curse to me

But what does he do?

laugh in excitement because

I could see his emotion without being close

to him...

every day... 

My energy is getting low

I can't control this curse...

people walking around me

their soul are links to mine

I feel their pain

I feel their happiness

I feel their stress

I feel their anger

I feel their fear

I feel their physicals pain

I am continually draining my energy

earbud in ear

block out emotions of other

I can't escape...

I felt their physicals pain when they touch me...

felt their headache

felt the cut in their arm

felt the stomach pain

I felt a lot more

felt so much

I lost my self so many time

I felt pain from the parents who have autism kid's

I felt their sadness

I felt their anger when people make fun of their kids

I want to help

How do I use this curse to help others?

they see it as a superpower

I see it as a curse

using it to help others while I slowly die

"Why do they act like that?"

"What going on in their life?"

"How do they see the world?"

"What do they see?"

"What does it feel like to be like them?"

"What if I walk in their shoes?"

"Take off the earbuds."

"The wind is calling."

"Water is revealing the truth."

I like to listen to them

even if they are different from many people

but they are human

They don't know what is like to judge other

They don't know how to make fun of other

They don't know how to lie

they are innocent

those

Innocent souls in a sinful world