Sooooo we're going to be doing a lil something different here :)))

I think every five chapters or so I'm going to have a lil break like this. Will it all be Letteria's? Who knows? We'll find out together :))

(Note that these are excerpts--fragments. We only have a few pieces of a puzzle. Not everything is going to be revealed all at once, and Letteria and her journal will have many more moments than just the ones in this chapter. If they are ready to be shared with us, they shall reveal themselves to us later.)

Enjoy! :)

------------------------------------------------

July 18, 1876

Dear Coccinella,

Mammà gifted you to me today. I am very pleased to meet your acquaintance. Now that I write that out, that sounds so formal, doesn't it? But you and I aren't close enough yet to be friends. I hope we get there soon.

My name is Letteria Viviana Bonoforte. I am 19 years old.  We have been living in America il mondo di sogni for a year. I come from a long line of sopravvissuti (survivors). My family came to this continent with la lingua Italiana, much to the disdain of the stronzi bianchi Americani already living here. I don't know how much say they get, though, considering that they are not the first people to be here either. Maybe instead of berating us for speaking Italian they should be berated for not knowing, say, Cherokee, instead of berating others for not knowing their one language in a world so full of languages. I think steam would blow out their ears when I pull out all the Italian dialects I know.

Hmmm. I'm not sure that's the way to start off a journal. Oh well. I won't cross this out, mind you, because I believe no pen stroke, no ink, is wasted. Every word I write has a reason. 

Unless if I write it when my mind is off on a different adventure. That is a different matter and is probably going to happen many times within these pages.

You may be wondering why I'm addressing you as Coccinella. Well, a little ladybug landed on my finger this morning, and I took it as a sign. So that's what I'm calling you now. And I much prefer to give you a nickname than just call you "diary" or "journal' like simple minded folk.

So what's so special today? It's not my birthday. It's not Christmas. So what's with the journal? That's something I have yet to figure out.

I must admit, even though I'm not quite sure you and I are well aquainted, I already have a secret to share with you.

I know something is up.

Mammà and Pappà have been acting...differently lately. They keep telling me not to worry, that everything is okay. Mind you this is not like the time when they were trying to find from me that we couldn't pay the rent and we had to leave our hometown in Calibria in Italy. It's something...deeper. Back then I could tell there was only surface fear, about what was going to happen in the short run.

Now it feels like it runs deeper.  A fear that goes straight to the soul. A fear about the long run.

Well, what is it, you are going to answer. Unfortunately I'm gonna have to tell you that I do not know. But I'm gonna find out. I promise you I will. I'll only be satisfied once I know.

Well, it appears la cena è pronta. I shall talk to you soon.

Yours,

Letteria

------------------------------------------------

August 14, 1876

[ORIGINALLY WRITTEN IN THE NEAPOLITAN DIALECT, TRANSLATED INTO STANDARD ITALIAN]

La mia coccellina, (My little lady bug,)

Lo so. Lo so tutto. (I know it. I know it all.)

Non posso uscire di questo. (I can't get out of this.)

Ora sto qui. (Now I'm here.)

Ho bisogno di stare qui. Per sempre. (I have to be here. Forever.)

Detalli? Ora no. (Details? Not now).

Mi manca la volta quando non sapevo. (I miss the time when I didn't know.)

Yours,

Letteria

------------------------------------------------------------------

June 29, 1879

Oh, Coccinella!

I must tell you immediately!

I have met The One!

Coccinella, non ci credo! Non ci credrai! Era incredibile!

Il Giocatore took us to a casino tonight, me and i miei genitori. It seemed like it was going to be a normal night, not like...well. You know the nights I have.

He told us he was going to introduce us to a friend of his. A friend of his who did work like us. I thought he was going to bring in some middle aged geezer. No offense to Il Giocatore of course.

But no. 

He. Brought. In. HIM. (Forgive me for underlining so many times there is now a groove in this page. I just had to make sure the right amount of emphasis was there.)

His name is Edward Higgins.

And I'm sure he felt it at the same moment I did.

My heart stopped. It skipped a beat. And then my heart was pumping like I was about to run a race.

He's the same age as me. I'm actually a month older than him!

Although we spent only one night together I know he felt a connection like I did. From our very first dialogue exchange: "I heard that you might be one of the Gambler's favorites. I was hurt--I thought I was always going to be his number one." "Well, not everyone can be perfect. But that's okay, because I am."

Can you tell which one of those I said, Coccinella?

If I didn't know any better I'd say I charmed him.

And when he told me that he would never let me win pool on purpose, that if I did it was because of his poor skills, I know he charmed me.

I can't stop thinking about him. I can't stop thinking about what it was like being close to him.

He's not like other guys I know for sure. He made more eye contact with the carpet than anyone the whole night. I found him snapping his fingers in a certain rhythm multiple times. Whenever he thought he said something clever he would stick his tongue out then in, and avert his eyes again. Instead of making small talk he told me all he knew about shrimp.

I am enamoured.

And what's more? He's not shallow. He meant everything he said, all the time. I see why Il Giacatore chose him.

And the thing is...I dropped my guard down around him. I let my hands do the flicking thing a few times. I clicked my tongue. I told him all about the flower I've been interested in the past two weeks--the one that of course you know--campanula.

And I think he enjoyed it.

I think we are a match made in cielo.

I'm not sure how much I believe in a Dio anymore, but I do believe in amore.

And I believe that this is amore veramente.

Is it too soon to tell? Probably. But let a romantic dream a little.

And this is where I will end tonight, coccinella mia, so I can stare at my ceiling for two hours thinking of him instead of sleeping.

Yours, 

Letteria

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

May 10, 1885 [3 days before the fire]

[WRITTEN IN MIXES OF ITALIAN, FRENCH, SPANISH, AND CROATIAN]

Coccinella, cara mia,

Bojam se. (I am afraid.)

So che qualcosa verrà. Anche i miei sogni  particolari sanno che qualcosa non è bene. (I know that something is coming. Even my peculiar dreams know that something is not right.) 

Il y a une orage dans horizon, caché, imminent, attente. (A storm is on the horizon, lurking, looming, waiting.)

Forse l'aspettativa mi ucciderebbe prima di la lo faccia. (The anticipation might kill me before it does.)

O antes de...Ellos lo haga. (Or before...They do.) 

Non so se vado a soprevvivere a vedere domani, o la prossima settimana. Oh Coccinella! Hai fatto molto per me tutti questi anni! Mi vai a mancare molto! (I don't know if I'm going to make it to tomorrow, or next week. Oh, Coccinella! You have done so much for me all these years! I am going to miss you so!)

Tengo solo un deseo: que Antonio viva. (I only have one wish: I wish that Antonio will live.)

Deseo que tuviera poder. Qualquier cosa que pueda protegerlo. (I wish I had power. Anything that can protect him.)

Tutto che ho è il mio amore. (All I have is my love.)

E forse sarebbe bastante. (And maybe that will be enough.)

Yours,

Letteria

-------------------------------------------

I...

Woah.

(Letteria mayyy have ADHD and mayyybe that's where Race got it from, and Edward mayyyy have autism and mayyyyybe that's where Race got it from haha)

So how are we feeling about the only M/F ship in this book? In this world? In...pretty much all of my fanfics I think haha?

All I knew was that I shipped Letteria and Edward a lot more when I learned that they were neurodivergent, so here's some nd4nd for you :)

(I'm demiromantic so sometimes I'm still skeptical that people can fall in love at first sight haha. I do believe in attraction at first sight--all kinds: romantic, sexual, platonic, sensual, aesthetic, etc. But love takes longer to truly develop.)

How do we feel about these four dips into Letteria's world?

I knew I wanted to include the journal in this story, and at first I was going to work a journal entry or two into a couple chapters, but then I thought of this format and got excited.

So uh. I am not fluent in any of those four languages in the last excerpt haha. It took me like at least forty minutes just to translate what I wanted to say in English into those four languages. Spanish was by far the easiest, and I only needed help conjugating some Italian verbs. I did not use google translate, I used word reference for the majority of my searches for Italian/French words, and Crotian...well I couldn't find as many free Croatian dictionaries online so I just found out how to say one sentence in Croatian and called it good haha.

If you speak any of these languages and find I made a mistake, tell me!!! Even if you aren't completely sure nor completely fluent but you still think something looks off, tell me and I'll look into it!!

Do I feel guilty not writing the excerpt originally written in the Neapolitan dialect in the Neapolitan dialect? Do I feel slightly better remembering how little resources I found for it? Yes I do.

Alright I think that's everything. Ready to get back to Race? :)

Please, no homophobia/transphobia/aphoiba, profanities directed at other wattpad users, hate etc in the comment section at all times.

Best,

~Your Beloved Author (who is on their way to see Moana 2 for the second time with a different friend, because they loved it a lot and don't care about the negative comments about the movie)