Every Valentine Day, I try to give you guys something beautiful to read. This Valentine day, let's fall in love, not with our princes charming but with ourselves. This Valentine 's Day I'll tell you a story, not a fiction but a reality.

A story from where I come.

Today, I am a 23 year old woman. When you'll meet me, you'll think I am loud, talkative, full of life, humble, confident, love herself, cute, sweet, strong and most of all who love and accepts life with all its ugly turns.

But, I wasn't always this, I was different!

I wasn't a loner, by God's grace in every stage of life, I had a best friend I would always be thankful to God for.

Confused, what is this girl talking?

Few days back I met my bestie after a long fight. FYI, I have three besties , Sammy, Kadu and Jhalli.

So, I met Kadu after I told her that I would only forgive her if she gets me golgappey n chowmein from my favorite place. Kadu and I know each other since grade 3rd. We are foes turns to friends, so you could guess the bond. We were talking and I told her that I don't feel like having a conversation be it cordial or formal with my school mates. She looked at me, smiled and whispered, "I understand."

Except 4 people, I am not in contact with any of my school friends. I loved going to school, I was the girl who didn't cry on her first day of school, I was the girl whose father on Sunday will take her to school to show that the school is closed and she couldn't go.

From grade 3rd to 12th, though I have a memory of something that make my besties angry.

I was that shy small girl who used to sit at the back bench and when few people befriended her, I would sit in the middle. I was the girl with whom people don't want to sit because she was black and ugly, they actually went to the class teacher to tell the same. I was the girl boys won't talk to. I was the girl on whose ugliness people used to laugh. I always knew why boys would laugh at me, I always knew what was that whisper around me, I always knew I was the topic people never get tried to mocking at, I just never reacted. I had friends, there were few kind souls who always made me want to go to school. But, sometimes the good doesn't affect you as much as the bad does. I won't talk much, answer in class because I don't want the limelight to fall in me and give people one more chance to mock me. As I grew up I would fight with few people.

Kadu was the famous kid; everyone was her friend and adored her. She knew everything that was said about me and till date I don't know what those were because she wouldn't let those words reach me. She would fight with people. When after college or in free time, she would hang out with them, I would go back to my house. I never showed anyone, but everything, every whisper, every sly smile affected me. I was too conscious about myself and my surroundings.

There is this very old incident I remember (though I remember everything, every smile even) my friend had this boy friend, in 9th grade, we had changed our school. So, her friend told her that when she is so beautiful how can she befriend someone so ugly?

In 9th to 12th grade, I had a friend who would always tell me how I dark I am, my hair are too short (they just reached my shoulder), I have a weird set of teeth. On my birthday, she gifted me a black soft toy because it reminded her of me( I have that soft toy, it's a cute little thing)

My Big B is the complete opposite of me. He is tall, fair and smart. He would come to my P.T.A and the girls would drool over him. My friend would question me, "He is so smart. What the hell happened to you?"

I would say, "I was adopted" (it's not true though)

Honestly, no one in those years ever knew how much it affected me. I cried at night, no one knew, my friends or family.

But, it's engraved in my heart, mind and soul and the reason of few belief I have

When I was 22, I changed. The change was gradual but it became prominent at that age.

Today, I am confident! I am strong! I am that girl whom people are proud of! You can't make me feel low. You can't insult me and leave in one piece. Now people say, I am cute and smart. I am good at many things. People praise me. I am not embarrassed about me! I have braces; yes I am comfortable in it. Though my skin colour become fairer with time, but I am still dusky and I am proud of it. I love my duskiness and hate fairness cream. Thanks to my bestie tips, I have a long hair. To be very honest, I am proud of myself. Because I and very few people know from where I come, what I faced and where I stand today and I know they are proud of me too.

I am short- I find the height cute.

I have a very weak eyesight- at least I am not blind.

I am dusky- I find the color sexy.

I have a weird set of teeth- I am unique and lucky. No one have the guts to go through all the pain I went in my teeth treatment and still not shed a tear.

I am not beautiful- I know the people who loves me, loves me truly and unconditionally.

My three besties are the woman who can make every guy turn to look at them. One is sexy, one is attractive and one is innocently beautiful. I am the ugly duckling, I can't even make a guy look at me :p But still they love me crazily.

I never got a single proposal l in my life, when my friends would discuss their, I would joke and say that the topic is out of my syllabus.

I love myself with all my flaws. You may have the beauty, I have a golden heart. Whose better ? me! I don't need any words or appreciation of my beauty; I know what I am worth of. I am not waiting for my man, I know he is never going to come. Does that makes me depress? No! I am happy with my life. I have people who love me unconditionally, pamper me and make me feel lucky. I am the girl who gets her own chocolate on chocolates day. I am the girl who buys a gift for herself on the valentine day. My birthday is my love day and my most favorite festival. Yes, I am self-loving.

A Queen doesn't need a King. Girls, count your blessings, love your family and friends with the same intensity as you will love your man. Be independent. First of all, love yourself. You can only make yourself happy, everyone will hurt you at least once.

Be the woman, everyone will be proud. Be the woman, people would want to associate with. Be the woman of whom even the most beautiful girl would be jealous of. Be the woman, every man would regret rejecting. Be the WOMAN. Don't be a girl who needs a guy to ensure that she is beautiful and loved.

Yep, I just hate being called beautiful because I have this belief that they are mocking me if they call me beautiful. I have always been single! As my bestie say I am special I don't need a man to make me happy.

Honestly, I have come a far way from what I was. Am I embarrassed about my past? No.

Don't I want a love story? Yes, I do. Does it hurt to know I won't ever get him? Yes it does? Do I envy other girls because they have their man or beauty or because a line of men are following them? No, I don't.

Have I ever fallen in love? No! I have my fair share infact uncountable share of crushes. They won't turn up or would end up asking my friend's number. I had this strong infaution for a guy. He was a playboy. In my all 22 years life, for the first time there was a guy, I wanted to share my life with, I hoped for a future with him. I never met him, but since the day I had heard about him, I always had this pull towards him. Finally, things seemed to work. Did it work? No.

Does that make me insane, depress, sad or my life tragic? No!

With each passing time, these things have started affecting me less. They would matter for a moment, few days and then I would get so engrossed in my life and in my loved ones.

I am strong and I love myself. I am not embarrassed about anything. But, things, memories, smiles, laugh, words are engraved on my heart, soul and mind.

I shared with you my story because I want you to realize, I know what it is being on the other side of line. I don't just say words! I believe and live them.

Love is the essence of life. Love your life, your family, your friends and yourself. Love and Valentine Day is not only about a man.

I have seen girls losing themselves just for a guy. It's your life! People will make you happy. They are not your happiness! Don't be selfish, before taking every step, think about the effect they will have on others. I am a firm believer of karma! What goes around, comes around.

People can't define your worth, only you can. People would judge you on your beauty and money, few would love you for your heart, treasure them. Be independent, be strong, cry yourself to sleep when things get too much to handle, but every morning wake up with a smile and fight for your happiness and dreams. Never hurt your parents. Value your friends. Love your dreams. Wait for your Prince Charming but don't lose your sanity. Love your guy, he is your man, your other half, but it doesn't mean destroy yourself for him.

FLY- First Love Yourself!!!!

Love for me:

· Is my family.

· Is my best friend.

· Is my dream.

· Is my books.

· Is dark chocolates.

· Is spicy food.

· Is Me.

· Is life,

· Is every small little things that make me smile.

· Is knowing that my family and friends love me.

· Is my readers support.

· Is every little seconds of my life.

P.S- yesterday by mistake I sent my birthday pic to my school group and people for whom I was ugly, I turned hot!!!!

See, that's how people change. So, just love yourself.

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Happy Valentine Day.

Sorry, no love story this time. I don't know, but I wanted to publish this tonight. I hope you get what I was trying to say. Though I still have doubt that did I do right thing by publishing it.

Pls! Do tell your views.

Thank you everyone for your beautiful wishes.

I am confused! What should I get myself this valentine day? Scarf or novel? And if novel than which?

Love you guys J

J/~+f