When we first met,

You weren't mine.

We were too young to know

Exactly what drew us together.

It might have been looks,

It might have been laughs,

It might have been love,

But all I know is that it worked.

It took some time for us to

Realize what we had;

Practically two years.

But it was so worth it.

I still remember

The feelings of our first date,

When you were finally mine.

The butterflies,

The queasiness,

Hearing my pounding heart inside my head.

It was the best feeling ever.

I always felt instantly connected to you.

No matter if you had someone

Or I had someone.

We always thought of each other

In ways friends shouldn't have.

You're my longest crush.

It lasted before we dated,

While we dated,

And after we dated.

Now.

You were the first kiss

That still matters to me today.

I was so excited,

I was surprised I didn't jump up and down

And scream to the world of my joy.

Joy that you gave me.

You've always given me joy.

Of course, you've given me sorrow, too.

But sorrow is nothing compared to the joy

I feel when I see you.

Your blue eyes,

The way they turn upward

And crinkle when you smile;

Your strong arms that make me feel

Like nothing in the world can harm me

When you wrap them around me.

I love that.

I miss that.

You're not mine anymore.

I always wonder if you will ever be again.

It hurts me every time I see you,

Knowing that you're not mine,

Not anymore.

Our time in this town is almost up.

We are getting ready for the next phase in our lives.

And I don't know if I can do it

Without your shining smile.

It's a big step ahead in life,

And you're holding me back.

Too bad I'm not holding you back, too.

I wonder if we'll keep in touch

Once we leave this town.

I still remember when we first met,

How I felt,

How I feel now.

And I'm dreading the day we finally say goodbye.

I don't want to remember that day

For years to come

Like I know I will

Of the first time we kissed.

I hope,

I wish,

I dream,

I live,

I jump,

I fall,

I drown,

I leave,

I miss,

You.

—

August 11, 2011