Actually, I've had enough
I told you way too much
And I now want to tell you
That nothing of it was true

Actually, it never came to my mind
That you could ever be that kind
You never were the "love of my life"
You were the place where I could hide

Actually, I'm not the one to blame
I am so glad you never came
Yes, I'm able to hate you
Even more than you hate yourself

Actually, I never missed your words
And no, no memory ever hurts
I haven't stopped caring, I never did
Oh, I'm not sorry if you got hit

Actually, I imagine you laughing
Showing everyone what I'm thinking
And telling them of your games
If I were you I would be ashamed

Actually, I'm only writing about you
To distract me from what I should do
And I never felt that much for you
Even you'd admire me if you knew

Actually, somehow I'll always care
If I remember who you were
And I'm sure you already forgot
Does it hurt me? Actually not

Actually, I've had enough
I told you way too much
I want you to analyze
What are the lies?

[19.05.2020]