Remembering what I watched ages ago
I had obsessions like any other teenager
Isn't everybody fixated on hot women?
Replaying music videos and TV shows
Fascinated by their beauty
Everyone does it, right?
I'm confused, it's okay.

What's so interesting about a man's body?
I hate too much muscle on any body
Why don't I like anybody?
I mean, I like his face
Mostly his eyes
Is he hot?
I'm confused, it's okay.

She's looking absolutely gorgeous
I am zooming in on her smile
I just want to be her I think?
Why am I like this?
What am I like?
I'm confused, it's okay.

It could just be me confusing feelings
Like I did with friendship and love
That was only a couple months ago
How do you know what you feel?
Shouldn't it be obvious?
Is thinking about it
a clue I'm reading
too much into it?
I'm confused, it's okay.

I'm wondering if I can call myself queer
Sometimes I'm sure I'm bi, then I'm not
But I'm never going to pressure myself
Only out of idiotic social expectations
Am I still part of the community?
I don't know what I am
I only know
I'm confused, it's okay.

[20.01.2024]