As time passed, the their worries and feelings climb up higher. it was was like stressing with overdue homework that you have no idea how to deal with. except, it's mountains of it.

Time is something that they don't have and the worse, can happen soon after enough time passes by. so, this search, just seemed rushed.

Sarah probably guessed that it was gonna storm. the moment they decided that they were gonna take the search outside, Sarah chickened out. well, not "chickened" out but she just decided to quit since Sarah wasn't in the mood for the cold weather.

Burt stayed in the area of the backyard while Demo and Sven searched outside that area. even though Sven and Demo are an unlikely pair to be doing these kind of things, they're sure it'll just be a one time thing.

Hopefully.

While there, Burt noticed how much time passed. it was nearby getting dark, the wind was picking up and they've been searching for Soph the whole fucking day. something clearly doesn't add up.

Hiding his face, he stared at the snow that was starting to form near him. he let out a a shaky exhale, forming a frosty cloud into the cold air. he just need to recollect his thoughts.

Now, come to think of it, everything happened so fast, so quickly. he felt like he was in a dream that he wouldn't even remember once he woke up. 

The wind picked up once more, at this point, he wasn't sure if there was gonna be a storm or not. he forgot to check the weather today, like he always does.

He didn't... feel like himself.

Burt's hands were freezing and so, he brought them closer to his mouth and blew. sadly enough, his hot breath cannot keep his trembling hands warm.

Fuck this cold weather..

He clearly remembered that he searched in the backyard in the afternoon. she was nowhere to be found. what difference will it make now, anyways?

Where did she go? where could she possibly go?

Burt felt his heart weep. he closed his eyes shut and tried to think positive. although, he learned quickly that being positive, however, could be overwhelming. he didn't need all that false hope his brain decides to throw at him.

Please, let this be over..

Soon enough, his thoughts start to come out a whispers. he didn't have anything to fiddle, except his clothes. it's way to cold to fiddle with his his clothes, unfortunately.

...

....

.......

He waited long enough.

It's.. it have been too long.

Burt looked up from where Sven and Demo has disappeared to. they haven't yet returned? why?

Don't tell me that I have lost them too...

Burt got rid of the thought and looked at the bitter darkness. he couldn't see anything and it was getting colder by the minute. 

He knew Demo wasn't that type of person to get lost in the woods, nor would she be so far away at all but this was oddly.. nothing like her or Sven.

They'll come back soon. with Soph, hopefully.

After 4 minutes or so, Demo appeared from the shadows, with Soph, hood on her head. Burt didn't even wait for them to reach him and rushed to them both, pulling his daughter into his arms.

"Sorry.." Soph whispered under her breath, as quiet as even. she was stunned but yet, she hugged him back, not daring to let him go. Burt looked up at Demo, who was avoiding eye contact with him for some reason.

He knew something was wrong.

"Demo?"

"yes?"

he scanned the area around Demo, letting the wind disturb their silence. "where's Sven?" he asked but Demo, didn't answer. Soph, while on the same topic, looked a bit sad and sorry.

He doesn't understand.

He let go of Soph, she was making eye contact with him indeed, but she was rubbing her wrist like if they ached with pain, which Burt doubts.

"...Where's Sven?"

"He's gone."

That's.. not what he expected to hear. of course, he didn't know what he really wanted to hear. he just wanted to hear that he probably got lost but he was hoping for that.. anything but that.

"Wha-what do you mean, he's gone?" 

Despite the cold, he could feel himself boiling. he's not mad but he is concerned. he..doesn't get it why he's feeling so hot all of a sudden. he felt like his face was near a fire even though, he was no where near one.

"Well.." she started. "it seemed like the lady that "borrowed" Soph seemed to know you and Sven."

Burt gripped on his jeans to keep them under control as he slowly found out why Sven is not here.

"I'm just gonna save us some time. she took him, then they disappeared." the details were spared, of course, but it was enough for Burt to chew on. he took a deep breath and nodded, holding all his feelings inside of him.

"Right..."

The silence stung Soph's ears. of course, silence was something uncomfortable to handle and it always will be, it just that this silence was painful to hear.

Although, she couldn't feel the pain at all but she heard the dying silence that was near her and Burt's face was unreadable after he spoke his response. Soph's eyes switched over to Demo, who looked like he was dying for Burt to say anything.

Anything.

Her nose grew numb and the events of what happened today played in her mind like record player on loop. she felt this feeling grow in her chest and her hands tickled as her vision blurred. this is how sadness feels like.

Her throat was growing dry.

She doesn't want anything but to go back in time and know that taking that idiot's hand was a horrible idea. of course, you don't need to understand.

Though, we all know one thing.

This is all her fault. the child.

This is all her fault.

 *******

From that point since, Soph kept her windows closed. not only that she didn't want someone random to climb through it and kidnap her in sleep but if today was the last time she'd see Sven then.. she'd rather not to lose Burt or anyone else.

She sat on her bed, trying to process what happened not so long ago. thinking about made her shut her eyes tight and push it behind.

She walked over to her closet and opened the door and the room's light shined against a small shoe box, she lifted up the lid of the box in her closet, she pulled out a blue hat.

 Sven never wore his blue hat. well, not since she was born, at least.

Burt abandoned his classic headset, the past was too painful for him. well, in this case, for THEM. Soph stared at the classy blue top hat and suddenly felt awful.

She this must be hard for Burt to deal with, since he and Sven went through more shit then she had. plus, she was only 3. Soph tossed the hat onto her bed and made her way out of the bedroom, gathering up courage to talk to Burt.

She stared at the door for awhile, wondering if this is the right thing to do. maybe Burt could use the comfort. she remembered that whenever Burt was upset, Sven would always wrap his arms around him, kissing his check and all sort of sweet affection.

And now that Sven isn't around to cheer Burt up at all, he might as well stay in this awful state. unless if Soph goes inside and make him feel better. but what if Burt doesn't want to see her anymore?

What if Burt's mad at her and that he thinks that this is all her fault?

Soph pushed the thought away and gripped onto the doorknob and twisted it, cracking the door open. there was no noise inside the warm room besides soft sniffling. she felt even more awful. Soph close the door behind her, wishing that she had Sven's classy top hat in her hands.

She climbed onto the bed, next to wear Burt was laying, curled up into a ball and covered by his blanket. she scooted up to wear she was face to face with Burt's neck then sat up to lean over to where Burt's cheek was and kissed it.

Then whispered in his ear: "I'm so sorry, Mama."

Burt then turned to face his daughter. his were red and puffy and tears shined against the light that was still in the room. Soph felt her heart break into two.

He placed his hand on her cheek, stroking it softly with his thumb. "darling.." he whispered, showing a soft smile to her. Soph felt a sob coming and her face shifted, ready let out her wails. "there's nothing to be sorry about." he smiled.

Soph let out a sob. she has never left so.. guilty. Burt brought Soph into a hug and kissed her forehead. he covered her as well with the blanket he was wrapped in. Soph cried in Burt's chest, soaking his shirt with her tears.

"But aren't you mad at me?" Soph choked out, still sobbing. she hated this feeling. if this is was death felt like then she would describe this as dying.

"Mad?" Burt repeated. "mad for what?" his voice was still gentle and soft. something about Burt that she never quite understood.

"It's my fault papa's gone." she couldn't control her sobs anymore. her throat was getting dry. Burt stayed silent for awhile until he finally said: "it's not your fault, Sophie. all of this, is not your fault."  Burt whispered, and she swore, that she felt a tear drop into her hair.

They remained that way until Soph passed into Burt's arms. she didn't feel the warmth leave her until the next morning when she woke up on her bed, like if yesterday restarted.