Singing Sparrows Upside down Johns

Five days later and we were all supposedly ready for the big unveiling of our cured fears. The girls and I convened to Patties room sorting clothes, hair, makeup- well we need to hide behind something- don't we!

An elephant had been lead up the path and was in the corner of the main courtyard a huge pile of hay keeping it calm and happy. A tame monkey was eating bananas in the outdoor dining area. George had spied a small glass box in the rec room it's contents- a large hairy spider. A long rope was strung up in the jacaranda tree – Johns flight fears curative.

How do you not be scared of what terrifies you, leaps of faith, blind stupidity, friends urging you on, friends tricking you into meeting the fear head on. A chant in India fixing the lot. I don't know, my stomach was in knots, stage fright at its worst, no Mantra would cure me.

"I'm going for a run"

"But we are getting makeup done!"

"There are three of you before me I'll be back, promise...." Pru looked at me thinking about escaping too " I promise!"

I  returned three hours later I ran the paths up and down 6 times, hit the pool then went and took a five minute cool shower.

"Finally; I thought you fell in the Ganges" Mia opened the door, cool as a cucumber.

"Well you all scrub up beautifully!" I sat on the bed and I was launched at. Pru and Mia attacking my nails, Pattie my hair and makeup.

"Really it's too much just take off all that eyeliner and the lipstick" My hair was in the latest fashion, well, so I've been told. I have less fashion sense than George had in '57 (long socks and shorts ugh!). My lips were shiny and plump looking the same pink shade was on us all.

"Don't you dare touch anything. Let's get something to eat."

"I'm not, I'll be violently ill" I was buggered and couldn't get off the bed actually. Pru brought me back an apple and we munched them slowly sitting cross legged on the bed. "Will have to fix this lipstick now!" I laughed.

The music portion of the fear program was last. So after eating we were all present to see John hanging upside down screaming, being swung periodically to make him feel 'flight'. Not a noise was made by those gathered- no jeering, hooting or hollering, if we had then those being jeered would then return the favour.

Results were coming in all afternoon:

Paul hating spiders – Paul fainted.

Ringo and Mo swimming- Pattie and I had them swim freestyle and breaststroke for 25m- success!

George fearing mortality- He claims to be cured he is ready for a higher level of spirituality.

The elephant and tiger escaped and deciding to walk straight through those gathered causing people to bolt in all directions. The monkey let Mike pet it and feed it another banana. The scorpion stung the guy- he's ok. Thankfully.

Music time! Yay not. As the number of fear facing acts occurred each one of us girls took turns to run to the loo. One thing about it being last on the list a lot of people had flacked off for dinner now was the perfect time to kill eardrums.

After 'tuning up' our voices, one last time in the rec room we walked out in a conga line of trepidation. Moving towards the fire-pit, standing in front of many, we trembled and held our stomachs. Pru disappeared again, she better be back soon. Paul sat at the piano in the doorway of the rec room and Richie sat off to the side with a small drum.

Apologies but I am using a song that came out a little latter than this time frame...but it's a fav!

"OK girls let's start this off, you'll be fine" Paul smiled encouragingly as Pru rushed in from behind to fill the line.

Paul started off the piano notes, they floated across the fire and people started smiling at the well-known song

Close To You

I got the audacious task of starting off the song my nerves frazzled

Why do birds suddenly appear, ev'ry time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be close to you.
Why do stars fall down from the sky, ev'ry time you walk by?
Just like me, they long to be close to you.

We all sang now
On the day that you were born the angels got together.
And decided to create a dream come true.
So, they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold,
And star-light in your eyes of blue.

Pattie with the us girls backing:
That is why all the girls in town follow you all around.
Just like me, they long to be close to you...

It's going ok and people are smiling namely George and John- big fans

Everyone again
On the day that you were born the angels got together.
And decided to create a dream come true.
So, they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold,
And star-light in your eyes of blue.

And Mia and Pru

That is why all the girls in town follow you all around.
Just like me, they long to be close to you...
Just like me, they long to be close to you...

Paul made us hang back as if the song ended then we finished with harmonies our favourite bit, that we all loved to do; we were together singing strength in numbers.

Everyone

Wa, close to you
Wa, close to you
Ha, close to you
La, close to you

Real applause rang out we bowed as our tutor taught us, but we ramped it up to cut our tension and nerves, curtsy's, blown air kisses to all, kiss for Paul and Richie and more bows. We did it!!

The Aftermath

Mia and Pru began to dance around the fire their inhibitions and fears seemed to curl skyward with the smoke that billowed off the wood. Pattie and I fell down at George, John's and Ringo's feet, Maureen and Jane sat down to join us. Paul wandered over after giving Mia and Pru a high five each.

"There are my songbirds, well done!" Paul showered us with his accolades "I hope you have both realised not to fear your voices"

"Yes Paul" Pattie and I said in unison then fell into each other with a case of giggles.

"Really thanks Paulie, you were great to put up with all our shit" Pattie gazed at the fire and we both laughed as he remembered the first day, his mouth set in a grim line then smiling with us.

"This calls for a toast, Moonshine all round!" John held up a small bottle of the petrol tasting local alcoholic beverage, smuggled in by Mal no doubt "A coke for me lady" John was forever looking after me and this was just another small gesture of him remembering my needs too.

I rolled my eyes and smiled, he was right, too soon for me to get back on the turps. "Thanks dad" I still had a go so I didn't look too sad and sorry for myself.

John and George picked up a couple of guitars and started singing softly, a song all four of us girls knew and we actually joined in. Paul was beaming, Richie tapped on a log for the beat and Maureen joined in too. The stars shone above us and the clear night air was a little nippy but with good company and a roaring fire we laughed and told jokes for hours.

"Only a few more weeks to go then back to the madness" George stared at the fire and his face said it all sadness, fear of stepping back into the pressure cooker of fans and the endless harassment of the press.

"George.... Boys I just want to say thank-you, I feel whole again. You have welcomed me into your world and I will cherish this time with you all. The music that has surrounded me, your creativity is infectious" I was feeling a little sad too looking at George reminded me of my turmoil. I just hope I can move forward and not go backwards.

"Kas- I vote Kas for newest recruit to inner sanctum of the Beatles, do I hear a seconder" Richie was so lovely and before I could turn red John and Paul joined him "Here Here I second that!" George was smiling at me and leaned across and gave me a hug "Welcome to bedlam, Kasandra!" I toasted my appointment with coke and the rest of the group took swigs and gagged on the petrol. Pattie, Jane and Maureen hugging me first then a Beatle hug was pressed making the girls and I meat in the sandwich, I don't think I've smiled so much.

**********

"Goodnight you two" George and Pattie hugged each other as they wandered off. John was on his back leaning on an uncomfortable looking log and I was using his stomach as a pillow we were pointing out stars and trying to figure out the constellations. The milky way fanned out over the sky, millions of stars scattered and bright. I turned my attention to the fire.

"Fire, it's so relaxing to watch but the most dangerous of things to touch" I waved my hand towards the flames, a spark flashed out missing my hand and causing me to jump back into Johns chest. "I give you example A!" I laughed and John ran his hand over my shoulders.

"You're cold, how can you be cold sitting five feet away from that fire, Kas. Come here and let me hug you"
I crawled up a little higher and snuggled into John's side, he was stifling a laugh.

"OH was that a pick up line was it, I was blind to that one!" I tapped his chin with a light fist then took his chin and brought him to my lips "It worked, you romantic you" Smiling into his lips I could see the flames mirrored in his eyes, making them more iridescent and warm.

"Kas, about London...." John let the words sit, I guessed he was letting me digest them.

"Don't worry John what happens in India, stays in India" I was still watching his eyes, so when the flicker of realisation to what I said crossed them, he got mad. He sat up quickly.

"What the hell does that mean Kas. Am I YOUR little holiday fling am I?!" John scooted over and jumped up.

"No NO I didn't mean it like that I was giving you your ticket out, I thought......." John cut my words off with a look then started pacing back and forth.

"Ticket out, what does that even mean?"

"SIT John"

"No"

"Please....Please John. We both have got the conversation and taken the wrong end of it. Please sit down and we can sort what we mean" John still paced, that caged tiger pace, that doesn't let anyone near for fear of danger. "John please. I'm sorry, I'm not good at this stuff" My eyes were brimming with tears. A second ago we were in relaxed company now I had made him mad as hell. I found myself staring at the bottle of moonshine, I wasn't looking at it in particular just focusing my eyes to stop the tears. John didn't think so, the bottle was flung past me into the fire, sparks rained down on us. His face lighting up from the sudden burst of flammable substance left in the empty bottle. "That was spectacular!"

He collapsed in a heap at my feet I pulled him up to me, he was being a lump not helping and not making my task any easier either "You don't need that stuff" He saw the tears rolling down my cheeks, my frustration at not getting him back to my side pushing me over the edge "Hey don't cry. Can't stand to see you cry" He wiped under my eyes and brought my gaze upwards tilting my chin forcing me to look at him fully.

"I wasn't John. I was staring straight through it. I didn't even know it was there till you through it in the fire, I swear John"

"I know I was being a brute again. Slam and destroy- my special talents"

"Your special talents are being good friends to your friends and never giving up on a dream or... me" I smiled at him a tiny smile but it was enough for him to meet me half way. I grabbed his chin and met his lips, his kisses sending shivers to my toes.

"Hang on. Let's clear up the mess of a conversation firstly, yeah" He tucked me under his arm and held my hand kissing my palms and fingers. "Now I was just saying London... my place or yours? Now you on the other hand said.."

"I know what I said John. Firstly, the words you have just said pretty much nullify anything I was about to say, did say or thought"

"And what was that you thought, Kassandra?" He kissed up the inside of my arm my mind wandering where it will go with his affection littering my skin with kisses. He moved my shirt aside and planted kisses along my collarbone my mind was numb and my body shaking, quaking with awakening desire.

"I. I"

"Yes"

"John! I guess I thought, that maybe you thought, this- what we have might be, harnessed to India not portable to London. I feared, I think, that I might not be London material for you" I breathed out the last few words as he took my neck sucking a little, love bites would appear momentarily. Never stopping, searching for my sweet spots, where I shivered with anticipation.

He stopped, his lips still on my skin, his breath warming my neck as he breathed in slowly, I could feel his mind turning over in his head. I was keen to find out what makes him tick, uncover his ideocracies and ideals. "Still doubting my intentions Kas" John started to berate me "tut tut tut Kassandra. I may just have to show you my intentions."

In one fluid movement, I was lying flat out on the grass under him. My shirt pulled up to my neck, the bra I wore rimmed with lace was thin and flimsy. As he rained kisses along the lace, licking along the outer edge, he continued his conversation "Kassss I see you here now, lovely and soft. The control nearly lost to me which I don't mind one bit. You. You make me look at everything differently, the sun was in the sky but it didn't truly shine til you, I see more clearly, more vividly when I'm with you. I want to continue seeing life this way With You. Without you it's all monochrome, baby with you, its rainbows."

He kissed down to my stomach then jumped up, stunning me. I opened my eyes my body lonely without him. As I lay on the grass the light of flames worked their magic behind John casting long shadows, ever moving, the light changing and dancing making his face bright with orange heat then a shadow of darkness when the flames turned inward. John outstretched his hand for me to stand up.

My hand found his and I fell into his embrace, my other hand touching his lips. "Let's go to bed Kassy. I think I love you girl. You make me whole, rainbows. India. London. Paris. Rome anywhere with you"

I kissed him with all my heart, hoping my kiss spoke where I was mute, hoping it showed John I was so happy to be beside him too. "I think we are so good too John, rainbows and fire, always" We held hands tightly. Our night just beginning. Our life together really starting from this moment.