Resetting the system

As the weeks progressed the group settled into a comfortable existence, meditation, relaxation, freeing the mind; there was abundance of spare time. The boys would often settle in to write lyrics or play their guitars, singalongs were a regular event in the evenings. Couples got closer bonding in the remoteness of it all. No phones, cars, jobs or money problems interfered.

After my bumpy first week, I was pretty much free of the tight grip of alcohol. Sure, I would get pangs for it especially of an evening when the group quietly and secretly imbibed, against Maharishi's orders. Feigning tiredness I would slink off to bed early mostly unnoticed to keep a distance from the brew.

"Kassandra welcome, sit please" Maharishi swept his arm in front of him indicating for me to sit on the rug at his feet.

"Thank-you" I bent my head down and my hands which were in a prayer position.

"Kassandra, I have seen that you have had problems. You must release your fears and embrace the force of nature and the light. Meditation can free your mind to great heights if you allow the door to open" He murmured "Your mind is confused with day-to-day stresses so I would like you to try and do twenty minutes meditation in the morning and then another twenty minutes in the evening. Please, if you have any difficulties come to me, my door is always open."

Thank-you Mararisha. May I ask a question of you?" He nodded his head slowly, peering into my eyes. I was just asking an inane question but he was waiting for me to ask about the universe. "I have seen the woman and children of the village at the tributary of the river. Is it improper to visit them, perhaps I could assist in some of their activities?"

"Of course! This will help your path to your inner light, helping others opens the heart and soul" He smiled and leaned in for a very, very tight lingering hug which I thought a little strange at the time.

************

"Ok so we are all set, I'll go for my run then meet you at the pool for a cool down swim, then down to the village" I smiled at the group in front of me feeling pretty happy with what was going to happen. We had been listless and bored when the men had gone off singing and composing most days, so I had proposed a solution.

"Kas, why do you call it a 'cool down swim' when you are dashing madly up and down then making us do all that jumping about with you too!" Jenny pointed out my swim routine was a little too much which was a tad true after the run I would swim laps 'til I hurt, a good hurt, then walk through the water, tread water and whatever else I wanted. It wasn't my fault they all followed in the aqua exercises!

"I do not make you 'jump around' you all follow suit! It's good for you" We had a bit of a laugh Jenny was only joking around and was actually now leading the group when we pool-er-sized.

"Hellllooo back to the point here! Are you absolutely sure this will be ok? What if the women there are horrid to us" Jane was unsure which was understandable.

"No this is going to be great I can feel it. Meeting the little children in their own environment, helping the mothers. I'm excited!" Pattie fizzed with excitement and we all smiled at her.

"I'll be back in 20" I turned away and headed out. Since I had been straight in the head I decided to get back into shape, I had been lazy and idle for far too long. A few kilometres of running using the walking tracks to the river made me feel alive and hopeful for a better outlook for myself....

********Later That Day.******

"That was fantastic" Jane flopped onto the old sunlounge by the pool. The sun was moving lower in the sky painting the horizon with a multitude of vibrant colours. Pink and peaches mixed in with purple and the orange of the sun.

"You were awesome with the kiddies Jane, letting them touch your hair. They liked us blondes too but I think red was the winner today!" Pattie twiddled a piece of hair in her fingers recalling the adventure.

"Kas thank-you I would never have done anything like that without you organising it" Maureen beamed, the children made her sad and happy as she missed her two toddlers back home "I loved helping the women do their washing on the rocks, I wouldn't want to do it all the time but today was fun!"

Jenny walked over with a tray of drinks and we gossed about our happy day, laughing and chatting happily, feeling more alive than ever.

"Hello, Hello, Hello. Where have you ladies been?" George cuddled up behind Pattie snaking his hand round her waist, he had his eyes on me though, a twinkle shining in them.

"Don't give me that Georgie" I smiled at George as he sat his chin on Patties petite shoulder "I saw you all clearly. You, John, Paul and Richie plus Mike and Donovan on the ledge at the bend in the river. You were all there for at least half an hour!"

The rest of the gang wandered up to listen to the adventures we had and the new friends we made.

"Why didn't you tell us Kas" Pattie cried out and swatted my arm. "Naughty"

"I thought if you knew you had an audience you might not have been so open and free ... and you would have spent half the time waving at these clowns!" I smiled at the girls and they nodded slowly in agreement, smiling up at the clowns.

"Hey no name calling Kas!" Paul laughed from Janes side.

"Kasey, can I have a word please" George pointed with his head towards the big old jacaranda tree in the corner of the pool area. I followed him over, what have I done now swirling in my head. George has all but ignored me these last few days, I didn't mind really because he was in love with Pattie and really delving into all of the Marahisha's learnings.

"Everything ok?" I asked as George sat on the grass studying my face and glancing back over to the group countless times "George? You're worrying me"

"Hmmm? Oh sorry. I just don't know what to start with first!"

"Well start at the top and go down, it will roll into place then" I smiled brightly at him hoping to draw him out.

"John"

"No don't start there. Nothing's going on, nothing's happened...I swear"

"Kas no. Sorry. I'm sorry for how I dismissed you both last week, he was helping but I saw a threat and lashed out. Forgive me, please"

"Sure ok. He was very nice to me. I thought he was going to be a real piece of work the way people spoke of him and all he was, was good" I smiled and George returned a gigantic one back.

"I'm so proud of how you have been progressing and today, the villagers, it spoke volumes of what a beautiful person you are" Georges big proud grin was so warm, I leaned over and gave him a big hug.

"Beautiful within George, within" I wasn't pretty, I wasn't ugly, I was the run of the mill girl and I sometimes got hung up on the fact, it was part of my problem at Christmas New Year – who would want what I offered, seeing as it isn't much.

"Beautiful! You don't see the light in your eyes, the happiness in your personality, and the way you can change a person with a smile from your pretty face" George held my chin this was a long running feud since I was a teen but his words today filled me with a new burst of self-worth.

"Thanks Georgie but if you're flirting with me I will have to kill you for my friend Patties sake!" George smiled and shook his head vigorously. "Ok then, you're off the hook!"

"You're not, though"

What do you mean? You're all over the place in this conversation. You do know that, don't you?!"

"I have woken up to the fact that I can't have you all to myself! I treat you like you're my possession not my friend. I need to wake up that you're a grown woman not Kasey from the beach"

"I was a grown woman at the beach"

"That would make you around 53 now!" He laughed and got all serious again looking at me weird and glancing over my shoulder again.

I went to turn my head but he caught my chin "What are you looking at George?" He shook his head and nodded but not at me. "You are a looney Georgie, just spit it out!"

"I had a long talk today with the lads, down at the river, while we watched your shenanigans. Paul and Ritch agreed that John wasn't being a negative on you" George paused gathering his thoughts "John, I mean. Geez, look Kas, John really wants to get to know you and I really don't mind if you want to get to know him. You are both good friends of mine and it will pain me if either of you get hurt but life is truly mystical and I want to believe something good will come of this"

"Hey up!" John plonked down beside George. He must have been listening over my shoulder. "Got tired of waiting for your long-winded spiel to end Geo. Thanks mate, now nick off!"

"Hang on, I haven't finished yet" George looked between us, I was as red as the bougainvillea growing on the fencing. Deciding he should finish his lecture, he nodded solemnly "Actually yes... I have" And with that he stood up and walked off.

Leaving John staring at me as I pulled the grass out of the ground between us in nervousness.

"What was all that?" I threw the grass away and carefully looked up at John. "Is papa saying I can talk to you now?" I lifted an eyebrow in question, my words making it seem like I was fine and dandy but I was quaking with trepidation of the unknown.

John flung his head back and took deep breath "Ahhhh, I don't know Kas. He gets all weird when I talk to him now. He is trying to analyse my intentions towards his Kassandra. I DON'T even know what my intentions, if any, are, towards his Kassandra!"

"Excuse me but at the moment and forever more I am my own person, I don't belong to anyone" I sat up straighter I was holding myself firm now. "I like you. I admit I was scared of John Lennon but I like you~ John. John is really nice to me and makes me feel safe. I quite liked the letters I would receive from him when he was in Hamburg, although that was a long, long time ago."

"John likes Kas too... Shall we continue referring to me in the third person? Might be good for a laugh" John grabbed the next bit of grass from my fist and tossed it over his shoulder. "Shall we walk, lots of eyes are cast this way. Or do you prefer the audience?" I shrugged.

His gaze told me to say let's walk but I was unsure I could even stand up.

"Hamburg!?" He pulled me to my feet and we walked out to the rocky little track, the full moon was just starting to come into view, dusk settling around us. Soon the moonlight would shine the way. "I'd forgotten that!.... Right! Georges' Kas was my agony aunt! You know all of my dirty dark secrets then! Nothing to tell here"

"Nothing?? I'm sure Hamburg John has grown up a little more hasn't he? He was quite the lad, from the contents of those letters. They would have made a lesser human faint! I still have all the letters from you lot, probably worth a pretty penny too now" I giggled and hopped up onto the stone wall and walked along it to nearly the same spot I was positioned when I keeled over that first day. John, a gentleman, holding my hand as I went.

"Get down, come on let's go for a stroll"

I put my hands on his shoulders and went to hop down beside him, but instead, I ended up sliding down John, he having stepped forward instead of away. I was now pressed up against him head to toe and we stayed stock still for long moments "Kassy girl, whatever this is, wherever we end up, I promise I will try my hardest to live up to Georges expectations..."

"Shut up and kiss me will you" I can't believe what I just said. I've never been the brash girl. But being this close to John made my senses all quivery. Tingling and awake.

I needed to know if the kiss would kill those feelings or send them on a journey to the moon and stars.

Looking down into my eyes he placed one hand on the nape of my neck and the other around my waist lifting me up to meet his lips, never letting me away from his body. A small peck at first then he gently kissed, and kissed. Oh lordy... and kiss... My hands found their way to his face and held his cheeks so he wouldn't leave me. I sighed, parting my lips, he groaned and his tongue met mine. A commotion behind us made him pull away slightly and let go. My hands slipping to his shoulder then down his chest between us. Fingers laid over his own. I smiled up at him. Definitely moons and stars.

George and Pattie ambled by, Pattie giggling and holding Georges hand swinging it wildly between them, George just gave me a swift frown, then a smile and a wink. Like he'd had a problem but rectified it in those seconds.

"I feel like I'm 16 again and I might get caught out after curfew" John eyerolled heavily then held my hand, entwining his fingers with mine.

We walked to the river that night. Solitude. To chat. To kiss. To hold hands in the moonlight. To wonder. To discover.... The rivers dull roar the only other sound.