NINE
Back to Earth

After two weeks, Elias saw Roman's face for the first time since he came over to help when Mars was sick. He wasn't alone that time — he had Felix accompanying him, and while the latter offered up a friendly smile, Roman was avoiding eye contact at all costs.

"Been a while since I've seen you guys," Elias said as a greeting, casting a quick look to Roman. He hadn't looked at him once between walking in and sitting down. Were they back to square one?

"Yeah," Felix sighed, rubbing his forehead. "It's been a rough few weeks."

"Oh. All of you?"

"Kind of. The Anthonys went back home in Florida for something. They're family friends, known each other since birth, pretty much. Marco picked up more shifts. I've just been too tired to go anywhere except for work," Felix explained, and Elias believed him, because he looked exhausted. He wondered why he came if he was so tired. "Rome's in the same boat as me."

Elias nodded. "Yeah? I know what that's like. I hope you're doing better. Both of you."

"Also — Marco wanted to apologize," Felix said, sitting up straighter. Elias raised an eyebrow. "Someone scolded him about how he acts toward you. He hasn't had time to come by, but next time he does, he'll do it in person."

Elias chuckled quietly. "Was that someone you?" he mused, surprised when Felix shook his head and jerked his thumb toward Roman's slumped over form. "Oh, okay."

"Yeah — hey, can I get coffee this time?" Felix asked, then listed off what he wanted, and then what Roman wanted. He didn't write it down for him like he usually did. That proved further that there was something wrong.

Elias couldn't keep himself from stealing glances at Roman as he served others in the diner. He seemed to be lost in his own little universe, far more quiet than he used to be, which was really saying something.

There was an opportunity when Felix got up to go to the bathroom. Maybe Roman would feel more comfortable talking if it was just them. Elias quickly finished up, then made his way over, gently knocking his knuckles on the counter top.

Roman sat up in response, but still, he refused to make eye contact. "Roman?" When he remained quiet and still, Elias sighed. "You know, it'd be nice if you didn't ignore me when I'm right in front of you. I kind of already had to deal with that for two weeks, except I couldn't see you."

"I'm — "

"Stop. Don't apologize," Elias ordered firmly. Roman spared him a glance, so brief that if Elias blinked, he wouldn't have noticed. "I just want to know if you're okay. You're kinda worrying me here."

Roman opened his mouth, and Elias knew an apology was hanging off his tongue, because he shut his mouth within moments. "Can you look at me?" Elias inquired, leaning down to try and catch his gaze. He couldn't.

"You're treating me like a kid," Roman mumbled, quiet. Really quiet, because Elias almost didn't hear him.

Elias laughed. "Am I? I don't mean to. I just care."

"I...I don't like it. Just treat me normally."

"I will if you will." After a pause, he added, "Did I do something to make you upset with me?"

Roman frowned, finally meeting his eyes. "No. I'm not — " He stopped, flinching when he realized he raised his voice a bit. He shifted and put his head down, and Elias had an urge to pat his head. He didn't.

"You're not upset with me?" Roman nodded. "That's a relief. But why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm... not."

"Liar," Elias scoffed. "What is it? I won't judge you, if that's what you're worried about."

Roman shrugged. Elias refrained from exhaling in frustration and kept his voice calm. "Roman — "

"Please, just... leave me alone."

Elias felt as if he'd been punched in the chest. "Okay," he said, gut twisting, "Hint taken." He pushed away from the counter and decided to busy himself with checking up on the tables. He was clenching his jaw without realizing it, and he tried to ease up, but he found himself grinding his teeth together as soon as he stopped thinking about it.

He was dropping dirty dishes off at the sinks when he felt a sudden burning in his eyes. Holy shit, he thought, turning so that his back was facing whoever could see him. He pressed the heels of his hands against his closed eyes. Why the actual hell are you about to cry? What is wrong with you?

Fuck, was all he could think. He blinked rapidly, but the feeling wouldn't leave. "Shit," he whispered, then looked around, finding Gale talking to the boy who washed the dishes. He walked up and tapped her shoulder. "Can you cover for me for a second?"

"Hm? Yes, sure — Eli, are you okay?"

"Yeah," Elias said, forcing out a laugh. "I just got something in my eye. Need to wash it out."

Gale frowned. "Okay... Take your time, sweetheart."

Elias nodded and slipped into the employee bathroom, locking the door and staring at himself in the mirror. He looked like an idiot. His eyes were glassy, becoming a little puffy, and now he was having to sniffle. He turned the sink on and splashed his face, letting the cold water run down his skin.

Truthfully, he had no valid reason to cry. And he hadn't cried in a while — the last time was a couple months ago because of the anniversary of Kris' death, also Mars' birthday. Guilt and grief hit him all at once. It was a train wreck. He had kept everything in all day until he got Mars to sleep.

Other than that, he never cried. He especially didn't let tears run loose over something so ridiculous. He splashed his face a few more times before patting it dry, exhaling heavily against the towel.

Once he was sure the burning was gone, he left and took back his position without a word. Gale seemed worried, but she didn't comment, because she knew Elias well enough to know when it was the right time to talk.

"Do you guys need anything?" Elias asked, giving Felix and Roman his customer service smile. "Refills?"

"Uh, no, I don't think — "

"Elias."

It was a whisper, but Elias still looked to who said it. Roman was watching him with a look on his face that made Elias feel bad for him. He looked like a kicked puppy.

"Yes?" He reached out to touch his empty glass. "Do you want me to get you water inste — "

"Your break is the same time, right?"

Elias faltered. "It is."

"Can I — can we talk?"

He pulled his hand back and let it drop to his side. "Sure, if that's what you want. Is that all?"

Roman nodded. Elias walked away.

His break came far too fast. Why did time choose that moment to not pass slowly? He approached Roman with furrowed brows. "What do you need?"

Roman pointed outside. Elias just bobbed his head, following him out. There was a breeze, which was nice, because if it was warm he probably would've ended up actually crying. His uniform didn't work well with the heat, not at all.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you," was the first thing Roman said. Elias squinted against the sun to try and see him better. "I'm not trying to make an excuse — just explaining why I said what I said. I've been really anxious recently and it puts me in a bad mood."

"Why did you come, then?" Elias frowned deeply. "Wouldn't all the noise and people make you feel worse?"

"Yeah," Roman admitted. "But — you... make me feel better."

Elias pressed his shoulder against the brick wall to get away from the sun, and he could see Roman better from there. He looked guilty. "I make you feel better," he echoed, confused. How did that work? "It doesn't seem like I did this time."

Roman winced. "Sorry, I didn't mean that in a rude way," Elias quickly said, internally cursing at himself. "Just — an observation."

"I can't explain without saying things I don't want to say," Roman stated, staring at the cement. Now Elias was even more confused. "Just know you did nothing wrong. My head is just... annoying, sometimes."

"Okay. I understand that."

"I don't want you to hate me."

"Why would I hate you?" Elias offered up a gentle smile. "I don't think anyone could hate you. You're too good. I'm just happy you explained everything. I was worried you hated me."

"I'm sorry."

"That's the last time I'll let you apologize," Elias stated firmly. "Now, do you want to talk about what's making you so anxious? I have the time."

Roman's lips curled in the beginning of a smile, but it faded as quickly as it came. "It's a bunch of things. But — uh, today... tonight, I have a date."

"Oh?" Elias grinned, nudging his leg with his shoe. "Who's the lucky person?"

"Not me," Roman joked weakly. Elias' grin disappeared, and he gave him a worried look. "I haven't, uh, been on a date — or dated anyone — in a long time. And this one isn't... ideal."

"Oh, how so? You know, you don't have to go if you're uneasy."

Roman shrugged. "This girl asked me for my number last week, and I didn't want to be rude, so I gave it to her."

Elias snorted. Roman frowned at him. "Sorry," Elias said, quickly sobering up, pressing his knuckles against his mouth. "Not funny."

"You can laugh," Roman murmured. "I know. Everyone constantly says I'm too nice."

"It's funny, because you don't look like you would be, first impression wise," Elias mused. "You have an intimidating air. I'm surprised that girl had the guts. I respect that. Anyway — continue."

Roman started leaning against the wall with him. "She's very nice," he said quietly. "I'm just... not interested, I guess."

"That happens," Elias replied, nodding. "You should be honest with her."

"I'll try. And... I'd probably be interested if I wasn't already, uh, interested in someone else."

"What? Who?" Elias gave him an encouraging smile. He loved hearing about other people's love lives, especially if it was something as wholesome as a crush.

Roman cleared his throat, looking off to the side. "You — uh, you probably don't know them." His voice sounded a little shaky. Was he starting to feel anxious because he was talking more than he usually did? Elias hoped he knew he could end the conversation whenever he wanted to.

"Oh, well, still. Tell me about them!"

"Um... well, they're — they're nice."

"Yes, I would hope so."

"And they're smart. A-And hardworking. I respect them a lot," Roman stammered. He looked flustered. Elias hadn't liked someone romantically in years, but he knew that if he did, he'd act similarly. "They're funny, even if - if their humor is a little, uh, dry. And they..." Roman trailed off, glancing at Elias. He nodded once, encouraging him to continue, showing him a small smile.

"And... they're so beautiful that it hurts."

"You sound smitten," Elias laughed. "I hope it works out."

"Me too," Roman whispered.

Elias glanced down at his phone, noting the time. He pocketed it and pushed off the wall. "Thank you for explaining everything," Elias said. "I'm gonna go get something to drink. Do you want me to teach you ASL still? We haven't done that in a while."

"Oh, uh, yeah. I've actually been studying a bit on my own time."

"Using the sources I gave you?"

"Yeah."

"Good, I'm glad." Elias lightly touched his arm as he passed, a small pat of support. "Come on."

"Mhm." Roman followed, and Elias taught him for the rest of his break. He and Felix left after that, and Elias felt a little lighter on his feet after their conversation.

He didn't feel that ache or that twist inside of him anymore. Instead, it was replaced by warmth he hadn't realized he'd lost in the first place.

___

A/N: me, having nothing to do in genshin except for doing domains: well here comes my writing motivation finally!!!!!

genshin: *releases 1.4 and venti banner re-run*

me: *spends money on venti, getting him, sobbing as i get invested again* fuck