as a treat!

hello everyone life update: looking for jobs, going to college in the spring finally after a gap year to pursue psychology, and i have a partner (: they r so cute and pretty and stunning and lovely and smart and creative and incredible i like them so so so much

i have found myself a roman! (: i've never liked someone so much before. i'm v happy

also i turn 20 soon..... spooky.....

Elias had to keep himself from falling onto the bed as soon as they got back to the hotel room. He didn't want to get sand on the sheets and feel like his legs were getting forcefully exfoliated as he tried to sleep.

So, instead, he dropped down into the armchair in the corner of the room. His eyes followed Roman as he grabbed a change of clothes and disappeared into the bathroom to shower first.

They laid there for a while. On the beach, that is. Thankfully the crabs decided they were equally as scared of Elias as he was with them and didn't come out again. It was quiet most of the time, probably because they were both getting tired.

But they did talk. About small things, like guessing how much Marco had either won or lost already. Or about Mars, and even tiny things about themselves that weren't that important but wanted to share regardless.

For example, Elias discovered Roman used to have a cat named 'Socks,' which was generic, but Roman insisted it was fitting because he was an all black cat with white paws. Apparently the cat ran away at one point and Roman hadn't seen him since.

In return, Elias mentioned that a rabbit decided to claim him as its mother when he was younger. Roman laughed at that, and Elias could feel the rumble against his cheek. It was a nice sound.

Elias wanted to hear him laugh more.

He was pretty sure he'd never been this close to someone before since Kris. Maybe he hadn't allowed himself to be. Well, now this was a different type of close, he supposed, but close nonetheless.

It made him wonder how his younger siblings were doing. He hadn't spoken to them in years — they had to be in their twenties by now. It was crazy to think about. He didn't even know what they looked like anymore, or what they sounded like. Where they were or what they did for a living.

He didn't think about them that often, but when he did, he couldn't stop his mind from wandering for hours.

Elias sighed, closing his eyes momentarily. He didn't want to think about it. Not while he was supposed to be relaxing.

Luckily, he had a short distraction when Roman came out. His hair was plastered to his forehead, wine red against tan skin. This was Elias' first time seeing him in casual clothes you'd wear at home. A black shirt that hung loosely on his form and sweatpants the same color. He looked simultaneously comfortable and uncomfortable — he was definitely thinking about the one bed thing.

"Um, you can use it now," Roman said, gesturing toward the open door. Elias nodded, getting up to grab his things. "Sorry if I took too long."

"You didn't," Elias mused. It was kind of funny to see Roman go back and forth between comfortable, to awkward, back to comfortable, then awkward once again. It was like his mind was let free until one little doubt came up. Elias wasn't sure how to help with that.

When he was done with his shower, he came out to see Roman sitting at the edge of the bed, stiff. Elias sighed. "You're gonna get knots if you sit like that all the time."

Roman blinked. "Huh?"

"You're so tense. Don't tell me I have to give your back a massage this time."

Roman's cheeks started to redden. "No, uh — sorry. I — your phone was ringing while you were showering. I didn't answer. It was an unknown number. I don't know if that's important or not."

Elias furrowed his brows and walked over, lifting his phone from the bedside table. He blew out a heavy breath when he saw the familiar digits.

"It's the same number that's been calling me for like, a week now," Elias explained, sitting down beside Roman before falling onto his back, legs hanging off the edge. "Should I just answer it? Or block and call it a day."

"Hm," Roman hummed. "Call them back. If it's spam or weird, hang up and block?"

Elias worried at his lower lip. "I don't know."

"Uh, what if it's someone you know? But you don't have their number saved?"

Elias frowned. "I don't have their number saved for a reason, then."

Roman cracked a smile. "Okay. Well, your choice."

"I'll call back." Elias sat up, shifting so that his legs were crossed. He mumbled an apology when his knee bumped against Roman's thigh. "Let's hope I'm not getting my information stolen."

Elias tapped the number and put it on speaker. Roman would hear regardless with how quiet the room was and how close they were. It rang a few times, then —

"Hello?" The voice sounded masculine. But they didn't sound familiar at all.

Elias glanced at Roman. "Hi, uh — you've called me many times. Can I help you?"

"Is — Is this Elias?"

His frown deepened. "Who's asking?"

"Ah, um — I don't know how to say this without being blunt."

"Just say it." He really didn't want to be dealing with something like this. He had no idea what to expect.

"I'm... one of your siblings? Uh — "

Elias froze. This was either a prank or dead serious. Most likely the latter, because this had been dragged out for far too long. This person sounded masculine, and all his siblings had been sisters. Unless —

"You're either a long lost sibling I didn't know I had or — "

"I'm trans," they blurted out. They said their deadname, the one Elias remembered them by, and his eyes widened. "But I — uh, I go by Alex now."

"Alex," Elias echoed. "Uh — what pronouns do you use? And sorry... this is just a really crazy situation. This isn't at all what I expected."

Alex laughed nervously. "He and they," he responded. "Yeah, I know it's weird. Me and Iris have been trying to find you for years now."

Elias looked to Roman, who had his ears plugged. He couldn't help but let out a short laugh. "Sorry, give me a second," he said to Alex, then muted himself. He nudged Roman, giving him a curious look.

"I didn't want to hear their deadname," Roman mumbled. "Felt like it wasn't my business. I can leave the room if you need me to — "

"Don't worry about it," Elias told him softly. "I'll just take them off speaker. I forgot I had it on."

Roman nodded, then slid to the other side of the bed to try and give Elias as much privacy as he could in the tiny room. He was so cute.

He unmuted and took Alex off speaker. "I'm back," he told them. "Uh, I thought — well, last time I saw all of you it wasn't the best day of my life. I don't blame you or Iris at all. It was Mom and Dad. You were young — I'm assuming they didn't...?"

"Take me being trans well?" Alex finished, chuckling quietly. "They don't know, actually. Me and Iris moved out together once we had jobs and the money. Cut off all contact with Mom and Dad. It was hell for a really long time with them."

"I bet. Is Iris with you?"

"Oh, no, she's at her boyfriend's place. I'll let her know we talked though," Alex said, sounding so goddamn happy. "I'm really glad I got ahold of you. Uh — do you still live around here?"

"I do."

"Do you think we could meet up sometime...?"

Elias smiled to himself. When he imagined the possibility of talking to his siblings again, he never thought it'd be like this. "Of course. Let me know when you're free and I'll let you know when I am. Is that okay?"

"Yeah!" Alex let out a shaky exhale. "God, this is crazy. Um, I'll leave you alone now. I'm guessing you're with someone...? You muted, so — "

"Yeah, I am," Elias replied, glancing back at Roman, who had his shirt pulled over his mouth, phone held way too close to his face. "He didn't hear anything though. He's very polite. Such a gentleman."

Roman kicked him. Elias grinned. "Oh! Are you two, like... dating?"

Elias' smile dropped. "Oh, uh, no. Well — ah, it's hard to explain. But no."

"Oh, okay. Well, I'll leave you be now. It was really nice being able to talk to you."

"I feel the same," Elias responded honestly. "Goodnight, Alex."

"Goodnight!"

He hung up, then placed his phone down. Roman slowly straightened his posture. "How did it go?"

"Better than I expected." He covered his face with his hands and fell back, head landing right next to Roman's thigh. "Wow. It feels surreal."

"From what I gathered, I can only imagine." Elias let his hands fall so he could look up at Roman. He had a small, soft smile tugging at his lips. "You look really happy."

"I am," Elias confessed. "I didn't imagine it to go like this if I ever saw them. I hope I can build a relationship with them again."

"I bet you can," Roman replied. "And will. They sounded excited."

Elias nodded, taking a deep breath and exhaling it through his nose. Then, he moved to the top of the bed so he could lay down next to Roman, turning on his side to face him. Roman's shoulders went stiff once again. He was laying on his back, so it looked funny.

"You gonna sleep like a plank all night?"

Roman shook his head.

"Then relax. Will you feel better if I close my eyes?" Elias closed them. "Look. Can't see your blush."

"Shut up."

"If that'll make you relax, then sure."

Roman sighed, and then Elias heard shifting. He opened one eye to see the other man rolling over onto his side, arm tucking underneath the pillows under his head. His sleeve slid upward, revealing one of his tattoos.

"Did those hurt?" Elias asked, pointing. Roman looked down.

"Not really. Well, some did. Like this one." He tapped the one Elias had been referring to. It was on his upper arm, the inner part of it. "I have some on my shoulders. Those didn't hurt. Chest kind of hurt. It varies."

"Hmm."

"I got used to the feeling though. So it's not too bad anymore. Why? Do you want one?"

"Sometimes I think about getting one."

Roman nodded. "What would you get?"

Elias paused, thinking. "Something small, maybe. Space related."

"Do you like space?"

"My sister did," Elias clarified. "I guess I would want something to remember her. But maybe that's stupid."

Roman frowned. "It's not. Maybe one day, if you decide you want one, I can take you. I know good artists."

Elias smiled a little. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"I'll keep that in mind," Elias told him. He noticed Roman's face turning pink again, so Elias decided to help him out and turned off the lights. He flopped back down, still facing him. "You tired?"

Roman shrugged a shoulder. "Not super tired. Honestly, I usually listen to something to sleep."

"I can talk you to sleep."

Roman laughed. Elias smiled in response.

"On a real note, you can turn on the TV, if you want. I don't mind."

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

Roman closed his eyes. Whether it was because he was embarrassed or sleepy, Elias couldn't tell. "I wouldn't be against you talking me to sleep. Your voice is soothing."

Elias raised an eyebrow. "My voice is soothing?  Have you listened to yourself?"

"Okay, so we're both soothing."

"Anyway. Was that your way of flirting?"

"Shut up."

"Hey, I was asking a genuine question. Reminds me of in high school, when people would compare hand sizes."

Roman snorted. Elias grinned at the sound. "People compared their hands to mine all the time. You're saying they were all flirting?"

"Oh, for sure. Can you blame them?"

Roman scoffed. "I looked like a shrimp in high school."

"I refuse to believe that."

Roman opened his eyes to give him a dull look. "When I can, I'll show you my class yearbooks if I can find them. I had braces."

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"It's not. But it was for me."

"Uh-huh."

They talked for a long time. And, surprisingly, they did talk each other to sleep. It was funny, but also wholesome, in a way.

Elias was beginning to feel that tug in his chest. The one that trying to pull you closer to someone. Elias wouldn't let that happen just yet.

He still needed time.