The next morning when the alarm sounded next to your side of the bed, you hit it with an anger and frustration that it didn't deserve, finding yourself in an immediate bad mood. Nothing in particular had happened the night before, Steve was still sleeping peacefully at your side, the sun was shining, and you had no explanation for it other than that you had to wake up. You gently lifted his arm away from your side so you could roll away, swinging your legs off the side of the bed to stand into a long stretch.

Sure, this wasn't going to be a good day, that much you knew, but your demeanor was beyond that and you had to get yourself in check before Steve woke. He didn't deserve what was coming today, and he certainly didn't deserve your foul mood on top of it. With a gentle push, you opened the heavy curtains over the balcony doors took a step outside, taking a deep breath of the London air that chilled your lungs and made you shudder slightly at the change in temperature. You had suggested this location to Steve for your honeymoon, but now you felt that to be inappropriate, and that being here again would only remind him of this day.

"Alright, (Y/N)," you whispered to yourself, "get it together."

"Good morning, Sunshine."

You peeked your head around the partition that divided the balcony next door to yours, unable to help but smile at the face trying to peek back around at the same time. "Morning, Buck. You're up early."

"Couldn't sleep."

"Ah, well I couldn't wake up. Maybe we should work together on that and balance it out." You turned your back to the balcony railing and hopped up, sitting precariously over a drop of ten stories to the sidewalk below. "How are you holding up? Are you ready for this?"

Bucky mimicked your position and sat on the railing of his balcony as close to you as he could get. Neither of you wavered and held perfect balance, but if Steve could see either of you right now, you knew he'd protest and force you down. "I know I'm doing better than our boy in there. He might be trying to look stoic, but I know that he's barely holding it together. I know that you know that already."

"Yeah, he said her name a few times in his sleep last night," you sighed. "I expected that though, I suppose."

"Wow, (Y/N). You're really forgiving," he scoffed with a small chuckle. "I don't know of many women who would let that go, saying an old girlfriend's name in their sleep."

"You like to stir up trouble, don't ya, Barnes? You know full well that it's not like that at all," you replied with a nudge to his arm, making him grab the rail to steady himself, returning the favor in kind as you grabbed on to secure yourself.

"It's not like what at all?" Steve yawned, slowly making his way to you to lift you from the ledge, just as you had predicted. "Down, girl. You too, idiot."

Bucky smiled and hopped down as ordered, giving Steve a lopsided salute. "Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. I'll just go get ready. I'll meet you guys in a bit."

Steve wrapped his arms around you and turned you to face away, holding you as you both looked out over the city while it woke with you. He stood quietly this way for a long time before you finally felt comfortable to say anything. The day would be filled with moments like this, so you may as well test the mood now in the safety of your hotel room. "What can I do to help?"

The sound of your voice must have startled him from a trance, hearing him suck in a deep breath and feeling his arms tightening around you from the surprise. "You're already doing it, doll. I was scared that you were going to say that you wouldn't come with me, because I don't know if I would make it through this without you."

"I never thought to say no, Steve. Not for a second."

He turned you back towards him, looking at you with so much sadness in his eyes that it brought tears to yours. He carried his emotions openly with you and you never failed to react to them as acutely as he did, as if you were as much of an owner of them as he was; as if whatever he experienced, you did too and with as much intensity.

"You're remarkable, you know that? I meant it when I said that you could say no, because I know what the mention of Peggy does, and I didn't want to put that on you." Steve gave you a small smile and a touch of his hand on your cheek, "not when you have to deal with me every day as it is, and then throwing 'weepy Steve' on top of it all."

"Weepy Steve?" you smirked. "Is everyone getting dwarf names now?"

"There's no Weepy," he laughed, pulling you into a tight hug. "I think I'd be more of a Dopey or a Bashful, anyway."

You hummed in contentment with his embrace, enjoying the tiny moment of lightheartedness before the day ahead, knowing that it could be days before you would see this side of him again. "You woke up late, so I'm voting for Sleepy." Lifting your face towards him for a quick kiss, you waited for him to release you and made your way back into the room. "Now if you'll excuse me, Grumpy here needs to shower so we aren't late."

~~~

The arrangements of the church were stunning, with flowers of all colors and variety filling the hall and lining the entry to each pew. As you walked with Steve and Bucky into the building you recognized many of the attendees as past and present SHIELD members, including Nick, Maria, Hank Pym, and Sharon Carter.

"I'm gonna go talk to Maria, okay? I'll be back in a minute," you reassured him, sensing his reluctance to release your hand. "You're okay."

"Captain Rogers," Hank suddenly appeared and greeted with an extended hand, "it's an honor to finally meet you. As you can imagine, I've heard a great deal about you."

"All good, I hope," Steve replied cordially.

"It came from Peggy. Of course it was all good."

Steve nodded with a quiet clearing of his throat, feeling the familiar sting and lump building within it. He knew that tears were inevitable today, but he couldn't believe that he had only been here for five minutes and had to fight them back already. "I'm screwed," he murmured to himself, turning to search the crowd for you, quickly locating you with Bucky on the far side of the crowd. "It was nice to meet you, sir. If you'll excuse me."

"I didn't ask anyone else to join us. I wanted this to be private for Steve," you said to Maria, seeing Bucky nodding in agreement at your side. "He's having a hard enough time without having to deal with the team talking about it around him too." You spun in surprise at the grab of your hand, seeing Steve nearly hyperventilating with a look of desperation in his expression.

"I can't do this," he panted, his palm sweaty against yours. "I need to get outta here."

"Hey, man, calm down. Take a deep breath," Bucky offered, looking to you for guidance.

"Come on, honey, come with me." You took the lead and pulled him farther into the church, finding your way to the basement where a welcome silence greeted you both. "Sit," you commanded, practically pushing him down and kneeling in front of him so that you were face-to-face, your hands resting on his legs and slowly caressing them to try to relax him. "Steve, slow down. Look at me."

"I can't be here," he shook his head, "it's too much. There's too many people, and they know what she..." he stopped, lowering his head into his hands with the sounds of a quiet sob escaping through his fingers. "They know what she was to me back then. They're looking at me with these sad eyes and I can't stand it."

"Sweetheart, they're trying to show you that they understand and that they care."

"No, you don't get it," he urged, still panting. He dropped his hands and pointed towards the crowd upstairs angrily, beginning to find his voice again. "They're looking at me like I've lost everything, like I'm a pile of broken glass that they have to tip toe around. They're looking at me with this pity that I don't want. I don't want them to look at me like that because it's disrespectful to you. You're everything."

"Steve..."

"Tell me how to do this, (Y/N). Please."

"Okay," you sighed, "here's what we do." You reached up and wiped the tears from his cheeks and took both of his hands in yours, doing your best to keep yourself from crying with him; seeing Steve cry was your greatest weakness. "Let them look. I'm fine, okay? Allowing them to feel for you doesn't hurt me, and the memory of Peggy is why we're here. If you feel like it's too much, we can have...a code word...or something, and we'll walk away for a bit."

Steve's breathing gradually began to slow and a cautious smile curled the sides of his mouth; you could see his mind begin to race with ideas. "Okay...so, what word would we use?"

"Hey, keep it clean, Rogers," you warned, pointing at him with a smile in return. "We're in a church."

~~~

The service was long, but beautiful and elegant, much like the woman that was being laid to rest. Steve was asked to give the eulogy and did so eloquently, despite the intermittent pauses to keep himself composed, locking eyes with you through much of it. Bucky sat to your left so he could hold your hand, finding that he needed more support than he had originally thought. You weren't sure if he was feeling pain for Peggy or for Steve, but you believed that it was likely for both and what they had lost, even if he would never admit that to you.

One final viewing was offered before they closed her ornately carved casket, and you waited until the other guests paid their final respects. You saw Steve watching you as you approached her, hoping that he wouldn't intervene so that you could do what you needed to do to finally give you closure. His face was filled with confusion and curiosity, but he didn't make any move to stop you.

You reached into your pocket and pulled his old Army dog tags into your fingers, giving them one final inspection, gently rubbing your thumb over the engraved letters of his name. Lifting them to your lips, you paused before putting them into her folded hands, draping them gently around her weathered but soft fingers. "This Steve will always belong to you, Peggy," you whispered, leaning close to her. "Thank you for making him who he is now. For making him my Steve."