8th☀

I rushed to the hospital, leaving Dad back in the bakery because he had work to do. Even if he wanted to come and visit Mom, he couldn't because now he has to work harder to earn the money that will be able to pay for Mom's future hospital bills such as surgeries or other treatments. 

Once inside the hospital, I looked around before running towards the receptionist and asking, "Excuse me, do you know where is Park Yong-kyun's hospital room?"

The nurse that was behind the table looked up and gave me a sweet smile in return. "She's currently in the Emergency room being treated."

I bowed in return, murmuring a quick 'thank you' before I headed my way. I ran down different rooms with different names until I ended up in front of the Emergency room. Quickly, I entered through the opened doors and searched for my mom. 

I saw her at the very corner of the room, talking to a doctor but I was too far to even decipher a single word they were exchanging. I quickened my steps and approached them, bowing at the doctor before worriedly looking over to my mom. 

My mom weakly smiled at me as she ushered me to come closer, after the doctor had left. "Aigoo, did I worry you, Sarang?"

"What happened? How did you collapse? Alone at home, as well?" I worriedly began asking as I leaned in closer to give her a tight hug.

"I was taking a walk for a change. It's stuffy at home," Mom explained, releasing me from her arms as she calmly caressed my head. "Don't worry so much. The doctors said it's nothing critical. Only a lack of proper meals. They said it was hypoglycemia."

"That meant you didn't eat your meals?" I asked. I always made sure Mom would eat properly. She must have been secretly skipping meals because of her loss of appetite. "Mom, you said you were fine. No loss of appetite whatsoever."

"I know, I know," Mom said in return, calming me down. "I'm not too sure, Sarang. These days, I just don't feel like eating."

I looked at Mom with a frown. "What can I do to help you with that?"

Mom shrugged as she joked, "Bring me home a six-star hotel course meal?"

My eyes widened. "Even if I get different part-time jobs, I won't be able to pay off such an expensive meal! I'll have to marry into some rich family!"

Mom lightly giggled. "I was kidding, Sarang. I'll try to eat more these times. Seeing you worry hurts me. So, don't worry so much, okay?"

"How can I not?" 

Mom clasped her hand on mine, holding it firmly with all the energy she had. Giving me a smile, she said, "I don't know if I'll ever get better, Sarang. I've been the same for years now. Maybe it's time to get ready to say goodbye, in case I might leave someday."

Tears touched the corner of my eyes as I held her hand tighter—but not too tight or I would hurt her already fragile state. "No. I don't want to think about that. I believe you'll get better, Mom. So you should believe, too."

Mom smiled, but it wasn't full of happy emotions like it usually should. She was showing me that she was losing hope and belief in all the treatments and medications she was taking. She wanted to let go, and she was telling me to do the same. 

But how could I? I just couldn't. Even if it was Mom who was telling me to, I still wouldn't. 

Mom understood my words and held my hand with both her hands now. She looked deep into my eyes, as if letting the memories of me from when I was a baby up until now flash between her eyes. "Sarang, we have to let go of something every now and then. It's like your new toy. Eventually, it'll break and you'll have to throw it out, no matter how much you believe it can be fixed when it just can't. Its lost all its functions and it can't go on anymore. It's completely worn out; gone, done, over."

"But you're not a toy, Mom. I can't throw you away easily. You're not an item I can simply do that to." I frowned heavily. 

She began patting the top of my palm and nodded. "I know that, Sarang. But eventually, I'll leave this world too. I'll lose my functions, too. By then, you'll be forced to say goodbye, whether you like it or not."

"No! I won't think of that day. I'm not ready to say goodbye." I was trying hard to keep the tears in, but the more I imagined the day I'll say goodbye to Mom permanently, the more I'll feel like part of the reason I'm still living and doing my best everyday will be gone. Forever.

"It's a big change for you and your father. I would be surprised if you were already prepared for it," she said. 

"I don't want you to leave, no matter what," I said, choking back on tears. 

"You can't decide on that, Sarang. Life has its plans for everyone. Up until this point, I have no regrets whatsoever. Seeing you grow, I've been so happy. Being married to your father, I feel complete. I've always said to live life without any regrets and I'm glad that I don't." Mom smiled proudly, then looks over to me. "You shouldn't live your life in regret, as well. Do everything without regretting, okay?"

I sadly nodded, feeling like I would cry any second if we kept this conversation up but with all the courage and energy I had, I forced them back so my eyes wouldn't be blurred as I tried to look at my mom more and more. 

She smiled sweetly and I knew that this was the face I will remember once she's gone. 

☀

The house was left to dead silence. It usually wasn't like this. But since Mom was hospitalized, I had the home all to myself until Dad would return from work. That wasn't a good thing at all. It just made me worry for Mom more. 

Before I disappeared into my room, I cast a glance at my parents' closed bedroom door. Frowning, I sighed and thought about Mom's health condition. I disappeared into my room and finally rested on my bed, thinking about what a hectic day it has been. 

I looked at my phone and stared at it, waiting for any messages to arrive to keep me out of boredom but nothing of the such ever came. Sighing, I screen locked my phone and went back to staring at the ceiling. 

So far, Mijoo's life was back to smooth sailing. As for mine, it just hit an iceberg in the sea. What's going to happen from now on? 

Last time, I said that I felt like I was living on thin ice. Everyday, thoughts of Mom leaving me would clutter in my brain and scare me. That's why I'm usually really overprotective of my friends and make sure they're safe from anything that could hurt them. 

If I was living on thin ice that time, I'm living on cracked ice by now. Mom said to start saying goodbye as early as now. Was she crazy? I wasn't ready, even if I've been having those kind of thoughts for a very long time now. 

A life without a mother is a scary thing, I've come to find out. The care you've been given mostly came from a mother, and without one, I would feel incomplete—like something valuable has been taken away from me. 

I wasn't ready, I concluded. Nor will I ever be. 

A notification ring was heard in the silent bedroom of mine and I immediately reached out for my phone. Sam-deul-ie, a LINE chat room that Wonwoo, Mijoo and I were in, had messages being sent by Mijoo. 

Mijoo: term holidays are in three weeks 

Mijoo: i had a crazy idea of going on a trip with you guys

Wonwoo: we should! that'd be fun!

Sarang: OMG YES HAHAHA

Mijoo: i think my aunt owns a hotel pension nearby a beautiful beach

Mijoo: we could go there for a trip!

Sarang: that sounds fun!

Wonwoo: count me in 

Mijoo: should we start planning now then? hehe

Wonwoo: why not? better be planned and prepared c:

Sarang: i agree with wonwoo! HAHAHA

Mijoo: guess we've got a holiday plan ahead of us! i'll go ask my aunt right now 

Sarang: wait! can you send us a pic of what it looks like?

Mijoo: ah okay wait let me search my gallery, i remember my aunt sending it this one time 

Mijoo: oh here it is

Mijoo: 

Sarang: woah! 

Wonwoo: oh my carrot 

Sarang: it's beautiful!! 

Wonwoo: we're going to stay in that?!?!?!?! (well, if these plans really become real)

Mijoo: yup!! 

Mijoo: i really hope these plans won't get cancelled! 

Sarang: me too 

Wonwoo: same here 

Mijoo: i'm going to go ask my aunt now 

Wonwoo: okay

Sarang: don't forget to tell us what she said! HEHEHE

Mijoo: sure-ies! 

My eyelids started to grow heavy and just like that, I sent a message in our chat room regarding me being tired and sleepy and wished them goodnight. After doing so, I screen locked my phone and washed up before I finally went to sleep. 

☀

The next day at school, we mostly attentively listened to teachers. Usually, I would doze off from time to time but with Mom being hospitalized and Dad having to work more just to pay for the hospital bills and the probable next surgery bills, I felt like wanting to study harder and get a good job in the future. Even if I was still a year away from graduating. 

P.E lessons finally came and it was the lesson that Mijoo and I hated the most because most of the times, our P.E teacher made us run. But today, it was different. We were learning how to play volleyball.

Guys and girls lined up separately. Our P.E teacher began demonstrating a few moves that were essential when playing volleyball and even told us safety precautions regarding them. Then, he wanted to recorded our records of how many times we could pass the ball so he began calling names. Four by four. 

I was in the first four, since my surname was Cheon. I was together with an Ahn, Baek and Choi. 

Before our P.E teacher blew his whistle, I noticed that the students that were once lined up were now scattered around in their own circle of friends, sitting down on the floors of the gym and talking. 

Wonwoo and Mijoo were talking, just like the best friends they were, of course. I smiled to myself before the P.E finally blew his whistle and we began. I managed to get until seven, sadly. I wasn't the athletic type at all, that was the problem. 

After our batch was done, another four came out to test. I quickly approached Wonwoo and Mijoo, sitting crossed legs with them. 

"So, what are we talking about here?" I asked, smiling sheepishly. 

"Mijoo's aunt's pension house," Wonwoo replied. "I'll be the only guy but whatever! I want to have fun with you guys!"

"And fun we'll have!" Mijoo said, laughing. "I'm not a fan of beaches, usually, but the beach next to my aunt's pension is really nice that I'm in love!"

"If Mijoo says the beach is nice, then it's really nice!" I said. Mijoo was never seen at a beach here in Seoul. Especially during summers, when beaches would be populated with people. 

The next batch was called up and that consisted of Wonwoo and Mijoo and two others. Before they started, I saw Wonwoo briefly explained to Mijoo how it was. With the exception of them talking, just looking at them looked like a perfect picture to look at. 

I ended up smiling like an idiot again. No matter how much I hoped for this ship to sail, it'll never come true if Mijoo will only ever see Wonwoo as a great friend. And she has this policy of not dating good friends because she apparently has traumatic experiences from it before. 

Without me knowing? Must be something that happened last year. From what I can tell, it was obviously too painful to be talking about so that was probably why she never talked about it with me. 

The two came back shortly after and we all smiled at each other before we continued discussing our future trip plans. 

"I just really hope whatever we're discussing will come true," Mijoo said, breathing in a deep breath. 

"Me too, Mijoo." I smiled a wistful smile at her. "Me too."

☀

Love + Flour was packed with more customers than it usually was today. When we neared the bakery more, I noticed that they were having special promotions today. Most of the breads were 30% off. 

I slightly frowned. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm glad the bakery's flooded with customers but the fact that Dad was pulling all-nighters just to pay off everything and support the family was sad. 

"Well, I guess we won't be talking to Yejun oppa today," Mijoo lightly joked as she pushed the door open. Even the seats that we occupied were already taken up by other customers. "Well, then. Should we just head somewhere else?"

"That sounds like a good idea," Wonwoo said, making way for customers who just entered. Some even shoulder bumped with Wonwoo, slightly annoying him. 

We caught a glance at Myeong, who was busily attending to customers from behind his cashier post and he managed to smile an exhausted smile. 

"Oh, before that, let me go say hi to my dad and tell him not to overwork," I said, pulling the two nearby to the elevator. The area here seems to be less crowded with people.

"We'll hang around here, then," Mijoo said, giving me a sweet smile before pressing the elevator button for me. 

"Oh, thanks," I said, entering when the elevator doors finally opened. I waved goodbye to the two—for now—and the elevator doors closed, bringing me to the third floor of the bakery. 

I made my way to Dad's office after getting off the elevator and knocked on the door once or twice before entering. 

"Dad?" I asked, looking around the office space. I found Dad on the three-seats couch, slightly knocked out. When I glanced over to the coffee table near him, I saw several empty can bottles of beer. "Dad?"

Dad slightly grumbled and switched positions before he went back to sleep. 

I frowned and knelt down on one knee to examine him slightly. I touched his face and noticed that his cheek was slightly sticky. Examining it furthermore, I came to realize that it was dried tears. 

But why was Dad crying?

Since Dad was fast asleep and didn't show any sign of waking up any time soon, I got up and looked around. The first thing I did was check if there were anything that would've made Dad cry before I jumped into the conclusion of him being too stressed out. 

Walking around his office space, I didn't see any clear signs just yet. I approached his computer by his desk and checked his history, even if it wasn't such a great idea to. But I was his daughter. I deserved a right to know a few things. 

I saw a recent e-mail that he had closed and immediately clicked on it. I wouldn't have clicked on it if it weren't for a very eye-catching logo. 

Seoul Hospital's logo, to be more specific. 

I sat down on the black swivel chair located behind the desk and began reading the e-mail. I scrolled down, skipping a few irrelevant parts until, finally, I discovered something that was the obvious cause of why Dad was now in that state. 

We're sorry to have to tell you that Park Yong-kyun has passed away today at 11:43 a.m. 

~Author's Notes~

Sorry it took long for this to be updated! I got busy lately and wanted to edit Under One Roof once again because I'm not too satisfied with it. It's also serving as a struggle because of how cringe worthy I realized this story was HAHAHA but it was a good book and I loved it, just some parts... eh. 

Continue giving this story love, you guys! Thank you so much! <3