3rd☀

I took Mom to the hospital. Since Dad was busy with work, he wasn't able to accompany her to the hospital. Which was why I was the one left to do the job. I didn't mind anyway. I enjoyed the times I spent with Mom alone. 

I linked arms with Mom and brought her inside the hospital. It was quite busy with nurses running around here and there and doctors following after them. I made sure Mom didn't bump into any of them by accident as we tried to get to where we were supposed to go.

We took a seat by the seats and I could feel my phone vibrate like crazy. Sang Hyuk was starting with his unreasonable nonsense again. Also, he was starting to get clingy. I guess it was understandable since he was emotional and was going through something painful. In both meanings. 

"I'm sorry you had to bring me here, Sarang," Mom apologized. 

I turned my attention to her and immediately shook my head. "Mom, don't be sorry! I'm happy enough to bring you. Since Dad couldn't do it, it's my responsibility to do so."

Mom gave me a smile. "I sure am lucky to have a daughter like you, aren't I?"

"Only the best for a great mom like you." I gave her a hug then heard the speaker call Mom's name. I immediately got up and helped Mom as well. Then, the both of us proceeded to Room 7.

The doctor started doing tests on Mom and I only stood by the sides, hoping she didn't gain any other side effects that will cause her more pain. I didn't want Mom to keep suffering on her own. I couldn't even help her. I can only watch as she deals with it on her own. 

But Mom's strong. I know she is. 

The doctor seemed to be done with the tests and sat back in his swivel chair before moving on to his computer on his desk. He clicked a few things and after a while, he said, "Well, nothing seems to be very wrong. However, your immune system seems to be rather weak these days."

Hearing that, I started to get alarmed. Nothing bad will happen... right? But that will mean Mom will get flues more easily these days if she had a weak immune system. 

"Don't be so alarmed," the doctor said, mostly to me before lightly chuckling. "To boost your immune system, try giving your mom these food. List it down."

I quickly pulled out my phone and got ready to type it in my notes. 

The doctor turned his attention to his computer then began saying, "Yogurt, oats and barley, garlic, shellfish, chicken soup, tea, beef, sweet potatoes and mushrooms. These will help boost your mother's immune system. I will also prescribe medicine for her to take, just in case."

"Nothing else is wrong?" I asked. 

The doctor looked at me and smiled, shaking his head. "No, your mother's fine. You can go get the medicine now. Have a nice day."

I couldn't help but sigh in relief at the news. I held onto Mom and the both of us left the room, heading to where we had to pick up our medicine. 

"Mushroom, he said?" Mom suddenly asked me. 

"Hmm? What mushroom?" I asked her, confused. 

She patted her stomach. "For my immune system. He said mushroom, didn't he?"

"Wait, let me check..." I pulled out my phone to check the notes. "Yup, there's mushroom. Are you craving that right now? Do you want to eat a dish with mushroom?"

Mom looked like she wanted to say yes, but shook her head instead. "I just want yogurt now. Do we still have yogurt back at home? I didn't check the refrigerator today."

But we both knew Mom was always too weak to check the refrigerator. However, I pulled up a smile and tried to peer into my memories. "No, we didn't have yogurt in the first place. I'll send you back home then purchase some yogurt in the nearby convenient store. Then, after that, I'll meet up with my friends in Han River. Before I get home, I'll buy some groceries to make chicken soup, since the doctor also mentioned that."

Mom looked at me with those loving eyes. "I'm sorry for making you do all my duties. I'm supposed to be the one making dinner for you at night, along with your father. I'm supposed to be the one going out to buy groceries for the family. But instead, I make you go out for me and your father work to support my medical fees. I feel like a burden."

I frowned and pulled her into a tight hug—but not too tight or I might hurt her. "Don't say you're a burden, Mom. I'll never see you as a burden. I'm happy enough to be doing these for you."

Mom smiled again. "I'm glad to have you as a daughter, Sarang. I promise I'll get better so I can do all those mom duties I'm supposed to do instead of lying all day in bed, resting and taking medicine that's supposed to help me. I'll give you a normal teenager life. Just wait a little."

Hearing her promise me something as grand as this—even if it didn't involve fancy balls or ballgowns or any of those—made me speechless. Recollecting my thoughts, I told her, "And I'll keep praying for you to recover."

☀

After dropping Mom home and giving her yogurt that I bought by rushing to the nearest convenient store, I went to Han River to meet up with Wonwoo and Mijoo. Also Wonwoo's little furry companion, Namu. 

I spotted the two standing near a tteokbokki store. From behind, they looked like a couple out of a date together, taking care of a hairy companion. It was too bad Mijoo will never feel the same way. I do suspect that Wonwoo feels something for her.

You gotta admit. Mijoo has undeniable charms. That's why she's also my love. Heh. 

I tapped on Mijoo's shoulder and she turned around. When she saw it was me, she immediately smiled while holding a cup of tteokbokki. "You're here!"

"I am!" I answered with an equally excited voice. "Hi, Wonwoo!"

"Hi," Wonwoo replied back. Then he pulled the puppy's paw higher up and mimicked a wave. "Say hi, Namu."

"Is this Namu?" I asked, melting at the sight at the cute little puppy. So very cute! 

"Yup," Wonwoo answered, smiling widely. He seemed to like his pet very much. "Where should we go now?"

"It's a wide field," Mijoo suddenly told us, pointing ahead of us, "we could run with Namu."

"Mijoo, you hate running," I noted. 

"I know. I do," Mijoo said, nodding along. "But I'm not going to run really hard and... you know, as if I'm running in the Olympics. Just going to jog around with Namu."

"Oh, before that, I wanted to take a picture of Namu. Wait let me just..." Wonwoo set Namu down then took out of his phone. "Stay still, Namu. Look over here. One, two, three! There! Aw, look at you, Namu. So cute!"

"Let me see," I said, extending my hand out to grab Wonwoo's phone. 

Wonwoo just showed me the screen of his phone. 

"Oh my goodness!" I started giggling. "Namu's the cutest. Look, he's even looking at the camera like you told him to. So obedient."

Wonwoo picked Namu up from the ground again and said, "So we're going to run around?"

Mijoo was the one to answer, "Yup. Aimlessly. Until I get tired and sit down somewhere."

"Okay, so that's the plan." I nodded, feeling my phone vibrate annoyingly again. I replied to all his messages when I was back at home. But he was starting once again. He really couldn't give it up, could he? It was like he had no other person to talk to. 

Wonwoo then noticed someone from afar. "Mijoo, isn't that your cousin?"

Mijoo looked around. "Where?"

A figure started walking close and closer to where we stood. In no time, the figure was now standing in front of us with a smile on their face. "Mijoo! I missed you. Nice seeing you here."

Mijoo rolled her eyes and grabbed both Wonwoo and I's wrists before completely walking past the figure. 

"Isn't that a little rude of you, Mijoo?" I asked her, glancing back at the figure. 

"Don't look back at him. That'll give him funny ideas such as following us," Mijoo said, pulling us far away from where the figure stood. 

"Something happened between you two?" Wonwoo asked, noticing the way she was acting. 

"No," Mijoo immediately answered the question. "Let's just walk far away from him. He's bad news."

Since it seemed like Mijoo wouldn't tell us anything, we left it at that and continued walking further until we couldn't even see where the tteokbokki store is. Finally, Wonwoo put Namu down and after a little getting used to, Namu began prancing around. 

"Namu is just the cutest! Can I kidnap him and take him home?" Mijoo asked, in a joking manner.

"We can raise it together," Wonwoo answered, in a serious tone that Mijoo seemed to miss. 

Only I heard the tone he had. Now my head was making more assumptions. 

"We can?" Mijoo still took it as a joke, and was giggling a lot. "Then we better have an apartment to raise him together in. What do you say, Wonwoo? Let's start saving money."

Wonwoo smiled a really big smile. I couldn't help but wonder what Wonwoo's true feelings were. Did he like her? 

I almost carelessly asked him the question in my head if not for the annoying vibration making its comeback. For once, I had to be thankful for his timing. I would have created some awkward atmosphere if I opened my mouth and let the question escape my mouth. 

Sang Hyuk jagi~: it feels as if no one would stay by my side anymore 

Sang Hyuk jagi~: except you, my love 

Sang Hyuk jagi~: but you don't even answer my texts 

Sang Hyuk jagi~: you're always tending to someone else but me

Sang Hyuk jagi~: i'm always hurt because of you, sarang 

I was starting to get annoyed with the way he kept titling me. I'm always hurt because of you, Sarang. Bleh, that's all nonsense. 

"I'm getting thirsty," said Mijoo after running after Namu for almost ten minutes now. "Any of you got water or anything drinkable with them right now?"

The only thing I brought with me after leaving the house again was a small sling bag that had my money in it for the groceries I will be getting later for Mom's chicken soup. I looked over to Wonwoo but the only thing he had was a dog leash and a transparent bag for Namu's poop.

Mijoo sighed. "Guess I'll have to go back and get myself a drink. You'll wait here, right, guys?"

I smiled at her. "Where else would we go?"

"To her heart," Wonwoo teased. 

Mijoo shuddered. "Wonwoo's back with his teases. Okay, I did not teach you how to tease just to use it against me."

I knew it. Wonwoo was an innocent boy before he met Mijoo. 

"The student's better than the teacher now," Wonwoo went on with his teases. 

Mijoo rolled her eyes. "I'm going to get a drink now. Do you two need anything? A drink for you, maybe, Sarang?"

I looked at her and shook my head at her offer. "I'm that thirsty right now. Thanks for asking, though."

Mijoo nodded then turned her attention to Wonwoo. "What about the dumbo right here? Do you need anything?"

"Dumbo? There's a dumbo around here?" Wonwoo was completely ignoring the fact that Mijoo just called him a dumbo. "Sorry, Mijoo. You must be talking to yourself."

Mijoo took action and gave him a flick on the forehead. "Geez, Jeon Wonwoo. Fine. I'm going now. It's a long trip there. Will you two be okay?"

"Of course! We're all friends, why would we be awkward?" I asked her. When in truth, I was a little awkward with Wonwoo if I was left alone with him. But I had a question I've been meaning to ask Wonwoo.

Once Mijoo looked convinced enough, she began walking away for her quest. A quest to get herself a drink. 

Once she was far from ear shot, I immediately said to Wonwoo, "Hey, Wonwoo? Can I ask you a question?"

Wonwoo looked surprised at first. Yeah, we usually didn't have a one-on-one conversation. In an unsure voice, he answered, "Su...re?"

"What do you think of Mijoo?" I asked straight-forwardly. 

Wonwoo paused for a moment before properly finding the right words, "A friend? A great best friend? A person I can't live without? My partner in crime? Were you expecting something more? A different answer?"

"Okay, don't tell Mijoo this but... I secretly ship the both of you."

Wonwoo didn't have much of a reaction, but he definitely looked surprised. "Oh, I see..."

"You know, sometimes my gut senses something. I feel like you like her. Is that right?" I asked him carefully. 

"I don't think I can like her, Sarang," Wonwoo asked, sounding sad all of a sudden. 

"What? Why not?" I sensed that he does like her, but something's holding him back. Was it the fact that Mijoo only sees him as a friend and nothing more?

"I don't want to risk our friendship," he answered.

He wasn't answering my question properly. "It's a yes or no question, Wonwoo. Why are you avoiding it with something else?"

Wonwoo stared into the far distance for a moment before he finally answered, "Yes. I do like her."

Mijoo

Mijoo started to sweat and it was something she hated doing so she quickly picked up her pace and tried to find shade and a place that was cooler. Eventually, she arrived at a small stall and bought a drink to cool herself down with. Since she was still sweating, she went ahead and bought herself some chocolate ice cream. 

"Still ignoring me?" a voice suddenly said, somewhere near where Mijoo was relaxing. 

Mijoo almost spilled her ice cream because she was startled. Snapping her head towards the direction, she found him standing there. "Wasn't it enough? Can't you just leave me alone?"

He let out a laugh. "Sorry, I can't do that, Mijoo. We're family. We're bound to see each other eventually."

"Gee... I should just live in Japan then," Mijoo muttered to herself, avoiding eye contact with him. 

 "Aw, come on, Mijoo. You can't shut me out of your life forever," he said in a teasing voice. "It was one time. He wasn't even that great. You know how he was."

"And he was the guy I liked. Until you decided to do such a thing," Mijoo said, rolling her eyes. "You know what? I don't even know why I'm still talking to you. I'm leaving."

"I'll make it up to you, somehow."

Mijoo dryly laughed and said, "Tell that to the next girl who's love life you'll ruin, Kwon Soonyoung."

Sarang

It was sad to see a ship not sail because one of them were scared of having a friendship ruined. Yet, it was even sadder knowing that one of them really does like the other one on the ship, but the other had no clue and the other one didn't want to confess. 

Was it even making sense at this very moment? I probably wasn't. I wasn't sure. 

Mijoo came back shortly was an annoyed expression. However, we didn't ask her about it. She wouldn't have told us, anyway. 

I looked at the time—and also ignoring all the messages Sang Hyuk was sending because he was being really annoying, still—I noticed that it was nearing six. Picking up my things, I told the two, "I have to go now. Gotta go grocery shopping before I head back home."

"Grocery shopping?" Mijoo repeated. 

"Yeah," I answered, "gonna make some chicken soup for my mom tonight. Her immune system isn't that great these days, as the doctor said. He told me food that will help boost it and chicken soup is one of them."

"Your mom's not getting any better?" Wonwoo asked, looking concerned. 

I shrugged. "She'll get through it."

"I hope she does. Then there's—" Mijoo nearly blurted out a secret. Luckily, she was good at recomposing herself. "—my three-year-old cousin who recently got sick because he ate too much ice cream. Geez, he's such a trouble maker."

"Well, I better go ahead. Are you guys going to stay here?" I asked them before I left. 

Mijoo threw me a shrug. "It depends. Maybe we'll drop by Love + Flour before I head home."

"Together?" I slightly teased. 

Wonwoo looked away, his face starting to burn but Mijoo didn't notice since he was sitting behind her. 

Cute. 

"If not together, then what? You expect us to wait five minutes for the other to walk ahead first?" Mijoo asked skeptically. 

Gosh, she's really dense. 

"Okay, okay. I'm going now, bye," I said, waving at the two. 

They waved back and I finally left to buy some groceries.

☀

At Lotte Mart, I was supposed to have a peaceful grocery shopping alone but the vibrations never left. So I decided to switch it to silent mode so I wouldn't hear any of the annoying vibrations. 

I would usually be online on Kakao Talk but these days, I refrained myself from going online because of him. I don't know what was wrong with me. 

When I first agreed to get together with him, I was nothing but a happy girl. These days, I found myself disliking him. I can't even bring myself to say that I love him. I can say that I like him, but only sometimes.

What was wrong with me?

He's been really clingy these days and I didn't like that one bit. He kept flashing the guilty card on me, even when most of the times, I really wasn't guilty. I had my friends too. I had my own life too. The one thing I hated the most was being held back like this. I wanted my freedom too.

Now I was starting to miss my single life. 

Feeling like I wanted to talk about this with someone, I grabbed my phone and dialed Mijoo's number after paying the cashier the exact amount of money then leaving Lotte Mart. 

"Hello?" Mijoo answered awkwardly on the other line. 

"Hi, Mijoo," I greeted. 

"You're really taking a weird interest in calling me," she noted. 

"Sorry. It feels better than texting," I said in reply. The bus wouldn't come in thirty minutes so I decided to have a friendly phone call with Mijoo—even if she found it weird. 

"Another emergency again? Is it about him again?" Mijoo made guesses. 

"Ha... yeah. The one and only." I confirmed her suspicion. "Mostly about me, though."

"What do you mean?" Mijoo asked in a confused tone. "You? Something's wrong with you, you mean? An illness, too?"

"Okay, every phone call I make does not mean it involves an illness." I was laughing. I managed to calm down before I slowly began with the uncomfortable topic, "I think something's wrong with me. I don't really feel like I like Sang Hyuk anymore."

Mijoo was silent for a moment before she said, "Oh... really? I don't really know what to say. I'm actually happy for you, but I'm afraid it might be inappropriate for this situation."

"I don't know... These days, I just think he's bleh," I said, with the lack of better words to describe it. 

"Bleh?" Mijoo repeated, confused. "What do you mean by bleh? There's so many bleh in the world. Bleh, one word that holds no particular meaning but is a good expression. Bleh can—"

"Okay, okay, let me explain," I said, in between laughter. "I don't know, Mijoo. These days... he's acting really clingy. He also says that I hurt him when I don't reply to his messages. I can't even go on Kakao Talk because I really want to ignore him these days. It's as if he has no one else to talk to but me. Like, I have my own friends and life too, okay? My life does not only revolve around him."

"Must be tough," Mijoo said on the other line. "I say you break up with him. Guys like him aren't really worth it, Cheon Sarang. Trust me, my friend dated him before and all she got were tears she shed and fights that she now finds useless. It's him. It's the way he is. He really isn't worth it."

"I know, but Sang Hyuk's the type who would hurt himself over things like these," I explained to her, remembering the scars on his wrist. 

"But once you let him go, he really isn't your problem and worry anymore," she knowingly told me. 

"Yeah, but it's the sense of guilt. I know I wouldn't worry about him after that, but seriously... the guilt..." It's bad enough he has metabolic arthritis. Gaining scars will only add up to his pain. 

"Well, I can't really say much now. You decide what you want to do. You either stick by his side and deal with the way he acts or you break up with him and end the bleh."

"Are those my only two choices?" Both didn't really sound that good. Either of which, I'll experience some type of side effects. Especially with the choice of us breaking up. 

"Unless you suddenly gained the ability to erase his memories, you've got nothing else but these two," Mijoo said. "I still stand with the break up option. What's holding you back? I thought we already established that he was bleh."

"Yeah, but I want to just be friends with him. I know he won't ever do that. Sang Hyuk's the type who'll completely cut you out of their life after a break up." Aish, why did Sang Hyuk have to be that type of guy?

"Well, I know where you're coming from since I once experienced the same thing," Mijoo said on the other line. Then, she added, "Although, it wasn't as complicated as this one. The guy's name is Jimin by the way."

"I think I've heard of him. Someone from the next class... am I right?" I clarified. 

"Yup, the next class's class president. The one and only," she confirmed, chuckling. Though it sounded distant, as if she just retrieved back an old, dusty memory. "Anyway, it's really up to you, Sarang."

"Yeah, but..."

"You choose: your comfort or his. Which matters more here? His feelings or yours? His happiness or yours?"

"That's a really tough question to answer," I found myself saying. 

"It's your life and your choices in the end. You're the one who will flip the cards and decide," Mijoo smartly told me. Why was she right about that?

"Argh, now I actually regret saying yes to him and getting together. I can't believe we're actually lasting a month now." I cringed. It was almost our monthsary, too.

"I should've stopped you from saying yes to him," Mijoo joked on the other end.

I went along with playing along and said, "You should have sounded more convincing."

"Oh, I wasn't convincing enough back then? Well, I guess I'll have something to work on whenever I have nothing better to do." Mijoo laughed. "Back to the topic. You're really not sure what to do?"

"No," I hopelessly answered. It's not like I could easily decide. Should I try? With a flip of a coin? Heads or tails? Maybe I could do that. 

"Well, as of now, let time decide."

I was stricken for a moment. "Time?"

"Yeah, time," answered Mijoo, "since you can't seem to decide on your own now, let time take its toll and see how your feelings change in the future. Eventually, you'll know what you'll want to do."

Time, the thought repeated in my head. I guess she was right. Only time will be able to test my tolerance with Sang Hyuk—and finally see if I can finally dump him and gain the freedom I once lost when I mistakenly said yes to this relationship in the first place. 

~Author's Notes~ 

authornim's hungry and she has weird craving these days, hehe :)

Also, I'm thinking of making this a long story. I don't know, I've fallen in love with this story that I don't have any thoughts of ending it just yet. Hopefully it'll have more than 30 chapters hehe :)

QOTU: (I missed these)

What groups do you stan?

AOTU: 

SEVENTEEN (obviously), NCT (I love them so much I just can't), and Astro (who could resist these cuties?). Although, EXO, GOT7 and BTS are on a whole different level that I can't even explain, heh. ;)

xoxo 

Byun Sang Kyung