2nd☀

Sarang: what? what are you saying, sang hyuk?

Sang Hyuk jagi~: i just want to tell you how much things won't last in this world. so take care and love everything you love.

Sarang: sang hyuk, what are you saying?

There were no more replies from him. I started to worry. What if he did something stupid? I tried calling his number but he wasn't picking up. I began to worry even more. 

I immediately dialed Mijoo's number. I needed someone to talk to me about this with. 

"Hello?" Mijoo picked up on the other end. 

"Mijoo!" I called her name. 

"What's up, Sarang? You're calling me, that's odd," Mijoo noted. 

Right. I forgot. Mijoo was awkward with phone calls. "It's an emergency."

"What kind of emergency?" Mijoo sounded alarmed. "Did something happen? To your mom? Or your dad? Your house? Is it on fire?"

"Oh my gosh, no," I answered. "It's something else."

"I can't really guess what it could be about unless—" Mijoo seemed to have cut herself off. Slowly, she asked, "Sang Hyuk? Is it about Sang Hyuk? Did he..."

I knew she let her words trail off on purpose. "No, he didn't break up with me. It's worst—I think. I don't know, Mijoo. He sent me a few weird texts that involves him leaving the world or whatever that means. You don't think he did something stupid, do you?"

Mijoo was quiet for a moment. She was probably calculating what it could all add up to. "Maybe. But he hasn't explained himself just yet. Maybe it's something else?"

"I don't know. But I do know that Sang Hyuk tends to get emotional at times," I told her, nervously biting the lower part of my lips. "What could it be?"

"Maybe you should wait around and see what happens. Wait for his explanation," Mijoo advised. 

"He's not replying though," I told her, feeling nervous again. I didn't want to wake up tomorrow hearing news of some boy committing suicide. I would be scarred for life. 

"Just wait for him," Mijoo advised once again. "You won't know what would happen. I think he's trying to compose himself to tell you whatever he has to tell you. Just be patient."

"What if, let's say I'm waiting for him, then the next thing I know it, I heard news about a guy committing suicide the next day?" I asked her. I was overthinking this. I could really use some milk. 

"I don't think Sang Hyuk is that type of guy who'd leave their girlfriend forever," Mijoo knowingly told me. "I may not like the guy that much but I know that he would never do something like that, you know?"

"I guess you're right..." However, what if she was wrong? What if, at this very moment, he was playing around with something deadly? "But Mijoo! You'll never know!"

"Sarang, you're just scared at this very moment," Mijoo calmly told me. How was she so calm at this very moment knowing that my boyfriend could be dying any second right now? "Calm down and try contacting him. If he really won't reply, then you'll have to wait. If you see him at school tomorrow, talk to him. Okay?"

I bit my lips nervously again. "I'll try to... I'm just really scared. What if he really does leave this world? He told me to take care of myself if he does."

"I don't know much about dating but when it comes to life and death situations... Sarang, whatever happens, you'll have to be strong. Okay?" 

"I don't think I can do that..." My voice was trembling. I was afraid. What if he really leaves? What if he—

I don't even want to think about it.

Everyday, I live my life fearing that my mom would somehow leave my dad and I. She says she'll get better, but it's been months and she's still not any better. If she suddenly left one day, how would I have been by then?

If Sang Hyuk's case was similar to my mother's, I want to help him. I don't want to have another person who could leave any time. In the sense of him being my boyfriend and leaving this world. 

"Sarang, just don't overthink and think of crazy situations, okay?" Mijoo said to me. "If anything happens, just know that Wonwoo and I are here for you. We'll always be here for you. I have homework to do now. I'll see you tomorrow in school. Bye."

"Okay, bye..." My voice was still trembling, but I finally ended the call. What would happen now? What would happen to us?

I didn't want to stress myself so I followed Mijoo's advise on not to overthink and went to bed after wishing my parents goodnight. I think I just need to wait for what could happen. 

☀

I was rushing to get to school that I forgot to eat breakfast. Dad left early for work and Mom was still asleep when I woke up. I decided not to interrupt her since she probably needed more rest so I just rushed to school. 

Without breakfast. 

Great.

But I needed to get to school. I needed to find Sang Hyuk. I needed an answer from him. He couldn't just leave me hanging like this. And if it turned out all of this was just a prank, I would have flipped so much. 

That wouldn't be possible, though. Sang Hyuk wasn't the type to prank someone. Especially with words like that. He was, instead, the emotional type.

"Hi, Sarang. How are—" 

I couldn't even greet Mijoo. I sped walk so quickly I passed by Mijoo like a quick fly. I would apologize to Mijoo later. Right now, I needed to find Sang Hyuk and see if he was fine.

When I entered the class, I first saw Sang Hyuk—as usual—but today, instead of me calmly greeting him like any other day, I pulled him out of the class after putting my bag down. I dragged him all the way to the end of the hallway. We could talk by the stairs. No one used these stairs at all. It was mostly deserted. 

Sang Hyuk's eyes weren't the same pair of eyes I see everyday. Today, they were different. And it wasn't the good type of different. 

"Sang Hyuk..." his name first escaped my lips, as I shakily looked at his eyes. He looked as if he's been crying. "You didn't reply to any of my messages. What are you trying to say?"

Sang Hyuk didn't speak. Instead, he leaned closer in and gave me a tight hug. 

"Sang Hyuk..." I wasn't sure what was going on with him. He was usually so happy and sweet, excluding his emotional episodes. "Please tell me. I want to know."

Sang Hyuk rested his chin on my head and held me tightly. "Sarang I'm—" Sang Hyuk sounded like he choked back on tears. "Whatever happens, please forgive me."

That made me worry even more. What exactly was going on? "What are you trying to say, Kang Sang Hyuk?"

"I love you," he suddenly confessed. "Very, very, very much."

"I love you too," I said back. "But what's going on with you? You're not usually like this, Sang Hyuk."

Sang Hyuk pulled away from the hug and held me by the shoulders, staring deep into my eyes. "Sarang, I— I have metabolic arthritis." 

I looked at him, blank for a second. "What's... that?"

Sang Hyuk looked at the ground, shaking his head. "It basically hurts my joints. It comes in episodes—the gout. It may become chronic, cause me ongoing pain or even disability." 

Hearing that, I was left shock. Then, I began to cry imagining all the pain Sang Hyuk will have to go through. 

"Why are you crying?" Sang Hyuk asked, cupping my face. "Don't cry. I didn't want to tell you at all because I knew you'd be like this."

"How could... how could this have happened to you?" I asked, looking up at him with teary eyes. "Among all the other people..."

"Doctors said it's because of my family history," Sang Hyuk was saying, "I don't really know. My parents didn't tell me. They didn't want me to know. I just know I'll be getting a lot of treatment these days."

I felt so sorry for him. He was still so young, yet, he managed to gain metabolic arthritis? What was even worst for Sang Hyuk was the fact that he loved to play football. If this metabolic arthritis affected his joints and made him feel pain, he wouldn't be able to play football anymore. 

Wasn't that heartbreaking? To be forced not to do what you love doing because of some kind of... body pain or disease? 

"You'll be okay," I ended saying as encouragement. I gave him a smile and told him, "You'll be okay. I'll be here for you so you'll be okay."

"Please don't tell anyone about this," he begged. 

I wanted to talk about this with Mijoo, though. Shame. I'll be the one drowning in my thoughts alone. "Okay."

"Let's head back to class now," Sang Hyuk said, holding my hand as he pulled be back to where our class was.

Odd. Usually my heart would be beating like crazy. Why wasn't it doing that right now?

I sat back in my seat and Mijoo quickly looked at me, talking with her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I can't tell you what's wrong," I whispered back, looking apologetic. "But it's something about his health."

Her eyes immediately widened. "Is it serious?"

"I think it is," I answered, unsure myself. Was it that serious? I might need to Google it later. 

"I feel sorry for him," Mijoo whispered back, lowering her head. 

"You don't have to be," I assured her. "I'll be here for him, don't worry."

"It's not something that will... cause him to... you know... right?"

"I didn't ask. But I don't think so. It's just something about his joints. He'll feel pains," I explained. Seconds later, I realized I shouldn't have done that. "Oops, I wasn't supposed to tell you. Make sure you keep this a secret and don't tell anyone?"

Mijoo gave me a reassuring smile. "I won't. It's none of my business in the first place. You can trust me, Sarang."

I sighed in relief. "Thank goodness."

"So what happens with him now?" she asked.

I shrugged. "I have no idea, really. I have a feeling he'll be really emo these days."

"Oh, Wonwoo does a better job at that," Mijoo joked, pointing at Wonwoo who sat next to the tables behind us. "That boy never smiles."

"Oh, he does smile," I said in a teasing voice. At you. He smiles at you, Mijoo. 

"He does?" Mijoo innocently asked, looking at him again. "I don't see it."

Wonwoo noticed that we were talking and continuously looking at him. I bet he already knew that we were talking about him. 

He gave us a smile. 

Oh, Wonwoo. I know that smile is only meant for Mijoo and especially for her. Heh. 

I think I'm letting this ship go out of hand. 

"Well, there you go. He just smiled," I told her.

"He forced that one," Mijoo argued back. 

"Aw, stop being mean to him." I poked her shoulder. "He'll feel sad."

"I'm training him to be tough," she explained happily. "He shouldn't be crying over things like these."

"Good friend you are," I said.

"I know, right?" Mijoo grinned back. "Good luck with Sang Hyuk, Sarang."

"Thank you," I said in reply. I wasn't sure what will happen between us now. 

"Bakery later on?" Mijoo asked, taking something out from her drawer. Then she placed it on my table. It was a container inside a plastic bag. "Here's the tteokbokki I promised."

"Oh, you really didn't have to..." But I was thankful since I didn't eat breakfast this morning. "But thanks! And, yeah, we're going to my dad's bakery again later. Just make sure to avoid Myeong oppa."

Mijoo shuddered in response. "Don't remind me of him."

"What if you start gaining feelings for him?" I gasped, imagining what would have happened then. 

Mijoo choked then gagged. "Who? Us? No way would that happen. He's legal, I'm still a minor. Wouldn't that be weird?"

"That makes sense," I said in reply.

"See?" Mijoo said, as if to prove her point.

I leaned closer to her and whispered in her ear, "But just what if..."

Mijoo shook her head. "No! Oh my gosh, I have goosebumps just thinking about it! Sarang, it will never happen. He's not that handsome in my eyes, either. Seojoon oppa looks better than him."

I nodded my head. "I have to agree with that one. Seojoon oppa definitely has the looks."

"And he's so thin!" Mijoo scream whispered. "It scares me at times. Also worries me. It's like he's a stick that could break any moment."

"Aw, you care about his health?" I teased her.

She nudged me and rolled her eyes playfully. "Aw, come on. Seojoon oppa's like a stick. It scares me sometimes. It's only friendly to be concerned over things like these."

"What's our age difference with him?" I asked all of a sudden. 

"I don't know his age." Mijoo shrugged in return. 

"We're both sixteen so..." I began the calculation then finally gasped. "Six years! Woah!"

"Huh? Seojoon is that old? I thought he was around twenty to twenty one," Mijoo said, scratching her head. "But me and your dad's staffs? It won't happen, Sarang."

Good. Because you and Wonwoo were meant to be. "I won't let that happen, either. I should find a girl I could set Myeong oppa up with."

"Yeah, you do that," Mijoo agreed before giggling. "Oh, great. Ms. Ryu is here. She's so boring, I swear!"

"I get you," I agreed, taking out my books. Oh, well. Time for school to officially start. 

☀

During break time, I was about to head to the canteen with Wonwoo and Mijoo but noticed Sang Hyuk not acting like himself. So I told Wonwoo and Mijoo to go ahead without me—which kind of gives a win-win situation since they would be spending time alone together—and headed to Sang Hyuk.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked him, noticing he was going to the deserted staircases again.

He looked at me then ignored my presence. That was odd.

I followed him and tried again, "Sang Hyuk. Are you okay?"

"You always hangout with him," he said. 

"Who?" I looked around. There were no guys around, except for a few girls that were heading to the girls' toilet nearby. He couldn't possibly be talking about them. 

"Him," he strongly emphasized. 

Was it a guy I knew? I had no idea. "I have no idea who you're talking about, Sang Hyuk. Speak names. There's more than one him on this earth."

Sang Hyuk rolled his eyes and began climbing up the stairs. Those stairs would most likely lead you to the third floor of this building—which had lots of activity rooms that were mostly left unoccupied unless we had some special performances or activities, so they were deserted around these time of months—or, if you climbed up more, the rooftop. 

Wait. Sang Hyuk wasn't thinking about doing something stupid, was he?

I quickly followed him. "Sang Hyuk, you're being unbelievable. Why are you acting like this all of a sudden?"

"Wonwoo," the name finally escaped his lips. "You're always hanging around him."

"What? Are you jealous over him or something?" I honestly wanted laugh, but the situation we were in was not letting me do that freely. "We're just friends—the both of us. I even believe that Wonwoo likes Mijoo."

"Right." Sang Hyuk stopped climbing and took a seat with his back facing the wall of the third floor. It was dark here. All the lights weren't on. "But you still talk to him. Sometimes you ignore me and talk to him, right?"

When have I ever done that? Sang Hyuk was acting weird today. 

I took a seat next to him and eyed him with concern. "Sang Hyuk, I don't like anyone else but you."

Gosh, times like these made me frustrated. Especially with Sang Hyuk acting this way. I know he has been this way for a long time, but still. 

Sang Hyuk pulled the sleeve of his school's jacket a little higher up. Then, he did the same for his white school sweater, revealing some cut marks. "Do you see how many cuts I have? That's one for every time you ignore my message and chat with other guys."

My eyes widened as I saw the cuts on his wrist. Some were new. Some were healing and were probably from a long time ago. There were around six on his wrist altogether. "Sang Hyuk! You shouldn't be doing something like this!"

Sang Hyuk let out a soulless laugh. "It's not that bad. It eases the other pains in life."

I didn't know what to say at that moment. If Mijoo were here, she would have screamed at his face, telling him how dangerous and stupid it was to do something like that. Sadly, I was left alone in this situation so I wasn't sure what I should do.

"Sang Hyuk, if you have a problem—something you can't talk about—just talk to me about it. I said I'll be here," I told him. 

"But you talk to other guys instead of me. You ignore my messages to talk with them instead," Sang Hyuk said. 

I have friends too. What was wrong with talking with them? I wanted to tell him that, but refrained myself from doing so. 

Without having any better words to say, I blurted out, "Stop assuming things like that, Sang Hyuk. Stop hurting yourself because of me, too. You don't deserve all those types of pains."

Sang Hyuk looked at me sadly, but decided not to say a word.

"Sang Hyuk—"

"It hurts," he said, hitting his chest, where the heart was located, "you hurt me, Sarang."

I squinted my eyes at him. Was he being serious right now? "Sang Hyuk, you're being unreasonable."

"Every time you talk to other guys or ignore me, I feel hurt. You're the only one I ever want, why don't you understand that?" Sang Hyuk was saying with a tone I started to find annoying. "You're my only world."

Usually, his words would make me giggle or blush. Today, I was starting to get irritated. "Well, sometimes, I want to talk to other people too."

"That hurt," he said. 

I started to grow more irritated. "You know I lo—" Even saying the word love made me shudder. What was wrong with me? "Stop acting this way, Sang Hyuk."

Sang Hyuk shook his head and closed his eyes, leaning on the wall.

I sighed and decided to leave him be. "You sort out whatever you have to sort out. I'm going to the canteen. I'm really hungry."

Once again, I didn't receive an answer from Sang Hyuk. Deciding to leave him as he was, I walked away. Oddly, I couldn't bring myself to saying that I loved him from that moment. 

☀

I met up with Mijoo and Wonwoo in the canteen and the first thing Mijoo asked me was what was wrong with my expression. 

There was no hiding the fact that my mood completely went downhill after talking to Sang Hyuk. I do like him, but lately, I ask myself why I first got into a relationship with him.

I was the type of person who wanted freedom—since I was a Gemini, so given—and when taken away from me, I'll feel somehow uncomfortable. Sang Hyuk was a Cancer, so he was more on the emotional level. Thus, the way he was in a relationship. 

I still remember the day I said yes when he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was so happy that I spammed Mijoo with a bunch of messages. She said she was happy for me, but she warned me countless of times. Of course, at that time, I only wondered why. 

Now, I completely understood all those warnings from before. If only Mijoo warned me even more. 

Shame. 

"Is it about Sang Hyuk?" Mijoo asked in a whisper, making sure Wonwoo wouldn't overhear. 

I only nodded in response. I was too tired to talk about it, so I just ate up my food. 

"What happened? I know you went after him when you told Wonwoo and I to go ahead," Mijoo smartly said. 

"I don't want to talk about it," I answered, poking around with my food. The tteokbokki Mijoo brought for me tasted different. Or was that just how I was feeling?

"Okay then. I won't force you to tell me," Mijoo said, understandingly. 

You gotta love Mijoo sometimes. 

Anyway, we continued with our conversation about Wonwoo's new dog. Wonwoo had finally decided to name him Namu, to which Mijoo and I cutely squealed to. 

"We should find a day to hangout in the park so you could bring Namu with you!" Mijoo excitedly suggested. 

"That isn't such a bad plan," I agreed, nodding. 

"Sarang, your mom's doctor's checkup is tomorrow, right?" Mijoo asked me all of a sudden. 

"Yeah, why?" I asked her.

"After her checkup, let's go to the park! If you're free, that is."

"I'll try to check my schedule," I told her with a smile. 

Then, Mijoo turned to look at Wonwoo. "How does that sound to you, Wonwoo? Will it be okay for Namu?"

"Of course." Wonwoo smiled back. "I bet Namu will be thrilled to meet the both of you."

"What's Namu like?" Mijoo asked, moving her chair closer, interested. I sat across Mijoo, who sat next to Wonwoo, so I couldn't help but see them as a couple. They just looked so good together. 

"Really playful," replied Wonwoo. "It takes a lot of work to take care of him."

"Well, it's a good thing there's going to be three of us!" Mijoo excitedly threw an arm over Wonwoo and held my hand. 

I saw Wonwoo freeze for a good moment before forcing himself to smile and nodded. "Yeah... That's great."

Oh? Was this a hint? Shame, only I was noticing all his signs. Mijoo was as oblivious as ever. 

"Tomorrow it is!" Mijoo excitedly confirmed. 

I guess we just planned ourselves a hangout. Which was great, because I needed some kind of healing after the whole Sang Hyuk deal.

☀

"Mijoo! You're back!" Myeong was the first person to greet us when we entered Love + Flour. 

Goosebumps. 

"Stop being such a creep, Myeong oppa," I remarked, pushing him away. "You're scaring her."

"No, I'm not," Myeong protested back, smiling at Mijoo again. "I heard you were taken."

My eyes widened. Oh, shoot! This was not the way I had thought of revealing the ship to them. Reacting quickly, I immediately pushed Myeong far away from their earshot and gave him a glare. "Don't you dare mention that in front of them."

"Why?" Myeong had a grin evident on his face. As if he just found out a secret of mine. As if he was winning. "Is it because... you lied about them dating?"

"Look, I just don't want you and her together," I explained to him. It would be really disturbing to see them together. "I ship her more with Wonwoo than you."

Myeong rolled his eyes. "You don't control her life."

"But I know how she controls her life," I said in reply, grinning back. "She wouldn't go with someone like you. Just drop it already, dude."

"'Dude'?" Myeong echoed, looking surprised. "That's rude of you, Cheon Sarang."

"Going back to what we were talking about: no is a no. Now, have a nice day. Oh, and be a good staff and get me some blueberry danishes," I told him. "Seojoon oppa is taking over your post, right? I'll go ahead and pay him now."

Before I left, I heard, Myeong mutter a tsk before he did what I asked him to do. He had to since he was a staff at Love + Flour and all. That was his work, or he'd be fired by my dad.

I returned to  my seat and asked them, "So, what are you guys talking about?"

"Oh, I was teasing the chances of Wonwoo and Myeong being together," Mijoo replied, laughing uncontrollably. 

Hold up. What?

"Wonwoo with Myeong?" I repeated clearly. 

"Yeah," Mijoo answered in reply. "Who else? Myeong with Jeon Cena? Oh, wait, that's also Wonwoo. No difference."

Wonwoo was frowning. "I don't like guys. Stop making me look like that."

Mijoo patted Wonwoo's cheek and I was honestly squealing loudly on the inside. "Aw, don't cry you big baby. Mommy didn't bring your pacifier."

"You're always teasing me this way," Wonwoo noted, pouting. 

Cute was the only word that kept circling in my mind. Why couldn't these two just be together already? And I kind of like their type of relationship. Unlike the one I was currently in. Ugh. 

Speaking of which, I started to receive messages from Sang Hyuk. 

Sang Hyuk jagi~: are you going to ignore my msgs again if i text u?

Sang Hyuk jagi~: i'm always getting hurt from you

Sang Hyuk jagi~: but i still love you

Sang Hyuk jagi~: what abt u? do u even love me?

Sang Hyuk jagi~: i feel like u don't 

Sarang: what even, sang hyuk. of course i do

It didn't feel that way to me anymore, though. 

The conversation progressed even more and it only ended with me feeling like... like I didn't like him anymore.

~Author's Notes~

Second chapter, done! I'm excited to see where this story will take me and where it'll end up :) 

Please give this story lots and lots of love! Leave a comment and don't forget to vote ❤ Kyungie loves Kimichies!! ❤

xoxo 

Byun Sang Kyung