<>

Was I prepared to die? God, no. No one was ever really ready to die, but in this moment, I had to be.

I waited and waited for my gruesome death, it was like waiting for the beat to drop in a song. Horrible analogy, but it felt something like that.

I opened my eyes and saw Sidney holding Ambers wrist back to keep her from killing me.

Amber dropped me back on the floor and I watched as the two fought over the knife. I let my hand fall to the floor and I felt a cold, metal object.

It was the gun.

I hadn't even noticed it had gotten thrown over here -or at all for that matter-

I pulled myself up using the counter and limped over to Gale, who was now standing. "Sidney, move!"

Sidney slammed Amber against the stovetop and ran to us. The knife in Ambers hand slid across the counter and away from her reach.

I lifted the gun and put a finger on the trigger.

"Wait, wait! Please don't kill me!" She begged. The gun in my hand started to shake, and Amber smirked. "I knew you were too weak to kill me" Amber chuckled softly.

"Some fucked up part of me still loves you, Amber" I let my arm drop to my side, "Which is why I can't kill you" I passed the gun to Gale, "But she can"

Sidney pulled me into a hug and covered my ears. I squeezed my eyes shut and desperately tried to think of something a little happier, but all I could think about were all the times Amber and I cut class to go smoke some weed.

The gunshots had quickly stopped so I began lifting my head off of Sidney's shoulder, but she reacted fast and pressed my head back against her shoulder, not wanting me to see what was going on.

The smell of burning flesh made me want to vomit, and the sound of muffled screams was etched into my brain.

Then it all stopped, -the screams, not the smell- I lifted my head off of Sidney and avoided looking at the burning body that was my girlfriend.

"I don't- I don't feel so good" I collapsed into Gales arms and she laid me down on the wooden floor.

"Don't do this to us, Logan, you have to stay alive" Gale cried, "Come on, kid" She held my hand and wiped her tears with her other hand.

I shook my head at the two women that had been like my aunts. "I'm sorry, I tried" I took a deep breath and sniffled, "Tell my dad I love him"

Sidney and Gales faces slowly got blurry, and then darker, and darker, until there was nothing.

The world around me went black.

I was dead.

Everything around me was pitch black, until it wasn't. A figure had reached for something and I was immediately blinded by the lights.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked. I finally adjusted to the brightness and had nearly passed out when I saw who the figure was. "Mom?"

"I've missed you, sweet pea" She smiled through tears.

I wasted no time and ran straight into my mothers arms and buried my face in her shoulder. "I didn't think I would ever see you again. There's so much I need to tell you"

"And I would love to hear about it," We pulled apart and my mom her a hand on either shoulder, "but you can't stay here"

"What?" I was caught off guard by what she had said. "What do you mean?"

"It's not your time yet" She said, "You still have a long life ahead of you"

"Mom, as much as I would like not to be dead, I don't have much of a choice" I replied, "My own girlfriend kind of stabbed me to death, and shot me"

"Girlfriend?"

I had forgotten I never got a chance to tell my mom I was gay. "Yeah, Amber"

My mom held my hand and smiled at me, "I still love you, Logan. And for the record, I was never a big fan of that Amber girl"

I chuckled a bit, "I know"

"Hey, stranger"

My head spun around at the sound of his voice. It was Wes. I glanced back over at my mom before going to wrap my arms around Wes.

"You have no idea how happy I am to see you" I breathed, "I missed you, you big idiot" I didn't want to let go of Wes, I wanted to stay here in his arms forever. I shut my eyes and stayed there with my arms wrapped tightly around his torso.

"Logan?"

"Yeah?"

"Go."

I opened my eyes and I was back in that damn house, back to feeling miserable and nothing but pain.

"Oh my god!" Sidney breathed. She held a hand to her chest, relieved I wasn't dead. "I thought we lost you for a second"

I would've preferred to stay dead.

I wanted to hold Wes again, and just be with my mom. I didn't want to be here without them.

I wanted to die again.

. . .

My eyes fluttered open, everything hurt. I scanned the room and saw both Gale and Sidney passed out on the chairs in the hospital room.

Sidney shifted in her seat and slowly woke up. "Logan, you're awake. We thought we lost you back there"

I gave Sidney a half smile, "Yeah." I glanced at the sling my arm rested in them back at Sidney. "Uh, Sid? Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah," Sidney sat up in her chair, "of course"

"Even though Billy tried to kill you, did some fucked up, twisted part of you still love him? I mean he was your boyfriend and all- "

She cut me off, "And Amber was your girlfriend"

I blinked away the tears that had begun to form, "I don't- I just don't understand why she did what she did. I really thought what we had was real. But turns out she was only dating me because I'm the niece of Stu fucking Macher" I threw my head back on the pillow and stared at the boring white ceiling, "I know I should hate her, I really do, but I can't"

"I hated Billy with every bone in my body, I still do" Said Sidney, "For the longest time I was scared to be alone or even answer the phone"

"How'd you get past it?"

"With the help of your dad, he was like my personal therapist" Sidney chuckled, "And you'll never really get over what happened, it'll haunt you for the rest of your life"

"Can I ask you something else?"

"Sure, kid"

"Tatum, your best friend, do you still miss her?" I asked.

Sidney let out a soft chuckle, "Everyday"

. . .

The door swung open and I heard my dads voice, "Emmy!"

"She's asleep right now, Silas. Go rest, we'll let you know when she's awake" I heard Gale tell my father.

Only I wasn't asleep, I had my head turned towards the window. I didn't feel like talking to anyone so I just pretended I was asleep.

"I can't lay back down after hearing my daughter was almost murdered, Gale!" He gritted through his teeth. I heard my dad make his way to my bed and sat in the chair to my left. My dad held my hand and sighed, "I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you, Emmy"

Tears fell onto my pillow hearing my dad all choked up. If there was one thing I hated, it was seeing my dad cry.

A/N:

tatum is actually alive and well bc I said so (im delusional)