09 || IT HURTS TO KNOW THAT I CAN'T HAVE YOU
Like most demons, Crowley disliked Hell. In fact he downright hated it. Despised it with an absolute passion and if he could he'd never step foot in that horrid place for as long as he lived.
It didn't matter that he ruled it. That he'd been named the King of it. He still hated the place with every fibre of his being and would do everything in his power to make sure he didn't have to descend into the pit unless absolutely necessary. And today just happened to be one of those days.
Today Crowley found himself to be rather enjoying his time surrounded by fire and brimstone, you know, if he ignored everything else and focused solely on his reasoning for being there. Which was to feed a particular rumour spreading demon to his hound, who was very much looking forward to sinking her teeth into some more demon tainted meat as she'd developed quite a taste for it. And who better than the demon responsible for jumpstarting the rumour about Crowley saving Selina and sending her human attacker straight to the deepest, darkest pits of Hell?
Not that it was a rumour as it was very true in every sense of the matter but still, Crowley wasn't about to abide by such behaviour. An example clearly needed to be made of any demon willing to participate in such gossip and where better to start than with the one responsible for it in the first place? Besides who knows, perhaps seeing what happens to those stupid enough to talk behind the King's back might make other demons less inclined to do so.
"Please, your majesty." Arman begged, his voice trembling as he was forced down onto his knees upon the filthy, blood soaked ground of Hell's kennels. "I didn't..."
"I don't like rumours, Arman. I never have and I never will." Crowley said coolly, pacing before the rightfully scared demon. Arman was about to speak once again until Crowley raised his hand, silencing him before any words could pass his lips. "I especially don't like those that involve myself and any personal business that I may have with ones such as the Winchesters."
"Last I checked..." Arman spat, his behaviour changing so drastically that it caused Crowley to stop in his tracks, brows furrowed as he finally dropped his eyes to meet the strangely brazen demon. "The Winchesters are supposed to be the enemy. God knows how many of our kind they've killed over the years. Selina especially. So you can go ahead and kill me all you want but I can promise you... That whore is gonna get what's coming to her."
"Is that so?" Crowley hummed out, playing it casual despite the intense rage he felt bubbling away inside him. He smiled, one that lacked any form of happiness before his lips pressed together and a loud whistle echoed throughout the room, wiping Arman's smugness clean off his face as it was pretty obvious that his attempts at riling Crowley up enough to result in a quick death had failed. Miserably.
Crowley had learned from his brief interaction with Damien that slow, painful deaths were absolutely the right way to go when it came to Selina and everything to do with her. Therefore he was well and truly able to control his own emotions long enough to see that through with Arman.
The moment Juliet sunk her teeth into his flesh that rage slowly drew to a simmer. Before dying down completely alongside Arman's screams as the hound picked him clean and left nothing but bones where he once stood.
"Good girl." Crowley said happily, patting Juliet gently atop her rather head before she skulked away into the darkness of the kennels.
The soft clacks of Juliet's claws had barely begun to fade away when Crowley's phone rang. One of the perks of being King was that he never once lost service, no matter how deep beneath the Earth he was and for once he found himself to be incredibly grateful for that when he saw exactly who was calling him.
"Selina." Crowley exhaled as he picked up, after having returned Earthside as the last thing he wanted was for Selina to hear the souls of the damned wailing around him. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"
"Alright, look just... Just let us go and we'll forget any of this ever happened, huh? How does that sound?"
"Dean?" Crowley's brow furrowed a touch at the sound of the eldest Winchester. He dropped the phone from his ear, double checking that he hadn't just imagined Selina's name on his screen.
But he hadn't.
Selina had called him and therefore it only raised a few questions. And concerns.
Raising the phone back to his ear, Crowley was just in time to hear his new favourite voice mutter sarcastically, "Great negotiating skills, Dean. Really, top marks."
"I don't see you doing anything to help ease the situation." Dean fired back, only adding to Crowley's confusion greatly and part of him suspected that he'd been accidentally butt dialled.
"Shut up!" An unfamiliar voice yelled angrily, making Crowley's stomach churn in an almost human way as the situation was becoming ever so clear the more time went on.
"Everyone just relax..."
"Easy for you to say, Dean. You're not the one with a knife to your throat."
Crowley had never moved so quickly in the span of his very long life as the world around him shifted. Selina's words were like a punch to the gut as he couldn't fathom the idea of anything happening to her. Again. Especially if it involved her dying as in that case, he'd never see her again and would resort to ripping Heaven apart in order to find her.
Now, he may not have the power to actually do that but so help him God he would try.
Appearing in what looked to be an old warehouse, Crowley remained hidden by the cover of darkness as the scene before him began to unfold in real time. Sam and Dean were unarmed, as was a third, unfamiliar man, their hands behind their heads as they openly surrendered. And no doubt due to the fact that some idiot cop had Selina pressed up against him with a knife to her throat.
A second assailant, who was clad in an odd looking black tunic, was holding a gun to yet another unfamiliar man's head. But Crowley didn't care about him whatsoever, sorry Harry, not when Selina's life was at stake.
"If anyone says another word I'll slit her throat, I swear to God!" The cop yelled, adding a touch more pressure to the blade that sliced ever so slightly into Selina's skin, making her wince softly as she felt the warmth of blood trickle down her throat.
"Do that and you'll be dead before she hits the ground." Crowley said nonchalantly, despite his worry. He stepped out of the shadows, revealing himself just as the hostage takers spun swiftly on their heels.
"Who are you? How did you find us?" The cop asked, tightening his hold on Selina in such a way that made Crowley all but seethe with anger. He kept his cool though, stalking towards them with such casualness that Selina couldn't help but smile as trust him to put on a show.
"Me? I'm the King of Hell." Crowley said plainly, flashing them a grin when all they did was furrow their brows at him. He blinked once, clouding his eyes with his essence and finding amusement when those unfamiliar with demons let out frightened whimpers. "Now, I'll give you five seconds to let her go. Five..."
Crowley was cut off before he'd even made it to four. The cop thrust Selina towards him, practically throwing her into his arms where he caught her with both ease and relief. He had a hard time even letting her out of them, much preferring to keep her within their safety but he was fully aware that this wasn't the time nor the place for his protectiveness to rear its head. Not when Sam and Dean were in direct line of sight of the King and their sister.
"Same goes for him." Crowley motioned towards Harry, sensing Selina's concerns for the young man and within the blink of an eye the Ghostfacer had joined them, seeking protection behind Selina as he wasn't sure who he was more afraid off. The hostage takers or the strange man with the piercing red eyes.
Glancing to his side, needing more reassurance that Selina was truly alive and well, Crowley was met with her grateful eyes and a soft smile, one that was barely noticeable but enough for him to make out. He happily returned it, briefly, as a split second later his eyes dropped to the cut on her neck, bright red and still dripping blood down the length of her pale skin. His jaw tensed, anger once again beginning to boil inside him and with a quick twist of his hand the hostage takers fell to the ground.
Dead. He'd snapped their necks and as far as regret goes, he felt none.
"Crowley, what the Hell are you doing here?" Sam asked, eyebrows knitted together tightly over his confusion riddled eyes as he, along with everyone else, ignored the fear filled rambles of both bewildered Ghostfacers.
They'd give the boys the riviting talk that is all things demon later but for now they were much more concerned with exactly how, and why, Crowley was even here.
"I called him." Selina confessed, pulling her phone from her pocket to reveal the call that Crowley had forgotten to hang up on in his haste to show up and save the day. She ended the call, locking her phone with a quiet click as both of her brothers just tilted their heads in question, making her sigh softly to herself before adding, "I figured he was the best chance I had of not getting my throat slit, okay? So sue me."
"I had things under control." Dean replied, but not without hesitance. And a frown from his sister in response as they both knew he did not have anything under control and truth be told, that cop was about five seconds away from killing Selina therefore Crowley had been her best chance.
But Dean wasn't about to openly admit that. He still had some dignity left that he'd like to keep and he wasn't about to let Crowley take that from him.
Satisfied, yet minutely irritated, Sam and Dean collected their discarded weapons before ushering the still unnerved Ed and Harry out of the warehouse, leaving Selina with Crowley as she figured thanking him in private would be less embarrassing for all of them. She waited until the outer door swung shut, the clanging of it settling fully into silence before she finally mustered up the courage to turn and face the demon.
"You seem to be making a habit of coming to my rescue." Selina said playfully, folding her arms over her rapidly beating chest as she did everything she could not to look him directly in the eye.
Especially now that she was alone with him. Again. She could already feel that familiar tension forming in the air. Thicker than before. Suffocating to a point where her lungs felt tight. And boy was it desperate... So, so desperate to finally be broken that if they weren't careful, it might end up just that.
"I'll always come when you call, darling." Crowley replied softly, stepping forwards a little as he brought his hand up to cup her face, using the hold to gently raise it so she would look him in the eyes.
He could feel her own hand begin to graze slowly up his arm, carrying a chill he hadn't felt in centuries up with it. Her touch contuined on across the warmth of his chest, where she immediately gripped one of the lapels of his jacket with such force he jerked forward a little.
"I'm starting to see that." Selina whispered, her eyes falling from his as she smiled sweetly, and in such a way that it had Crowley lean that much closer to her.
As the distance between them grew shorter, Selina's stomach fluttered so furiously that it made her a little scared that a swarm of butterflies were about to come flying out of her mouth like some horror flick. She took a breath, gathering all the strength she needed to look back up at him, meeting his eyes that were so utterly soft she might have melted to the floor.
Even despite that she couldn't stop her gaze from continuously dropping to his lips, where she could see the tip of his tongue poking through a little. She couldn't help but imagine what they'd feel like. What he'd feel like, and that was partially the reason why she leaned in to the point where there was barely two inches of air left between them.
"And there's something else I'd like to see too." Selina whispered, her breath puffing out over Crowley's skin with such heat that for the first time in... forever, his eyelids actually fluttered. "Or rather, something I'd like to try."
"Then try it." Crowley urged, in a tone so quiet he wasn't sure whether or not she had heard him.
But it didn't matter if she had. Not when the way his lips brushed over hers was all that was needed to add more than enough fuel to the raging fire that was swiftly igniting between them. In one fluid motion Selina tugged on his jacket with enough force that his lips planted firmly against hers, allowing them both to feel exactly what they'd craved since that day outside Jody's.
Crowley's hand slid around the back of Selina's neck, moving up just enough to cradle the back of her head and deepen the kiss neither of them ever wanted to end. It didn't matter that they shouldn't be doing this. That it was wrong on so many different levels, yet at the same time felt so right.
They simply didn't care about anything else but the sensation of one another. The world around them stopped turning, becoming nothing but a noiseless blur as they got lost in the overwhelming passion of a kiss that was, quite frankly, overdue. But no matter how lost Selina seemed to get in the moment, or how badly the roughness of Crowley's stubble against her skin made her never want to part from him, she couldn't seem to stop the alarm bells in the back of her mind from going off. Loudly.
Reluctantly Selina pulled back, panting softly for air as she hadn't realised how little was left in her lungs and she was surprised she hadn't passed out. It took her a few seconds longer than normal to open her eyes and when she did her heart screamed for different words to leave her mouth. But unfortunately for both parties, it didn't quite scream loud enough to overthrow her conscience.
"I'm sorry." Selina whispered, her heart sinking as her head fell forwards, where she was unable to see the drop of Crowley's lips when he realised exactly what she was sorry for. "I wish things were different."
"They can be." Crowley said softly, gently hooking his finger underneath her chin and tilting it back up. Her eyes were glistening in the dim light of the warehouse. Full of regret and if he looked deep enough he was fairly certain he could see a hint of love behind that which she was trying her hardest to keep on show.
Nothing.
Selina was trying so hard to show no emotion over what was to come and yet at the same time she was telling him everything he needed to know and more.
"How? How can they be different?" Selina asked, practically choking out the words as this felt more difficult than anything she'd ever faced in her life. And yes, she was including the apocalypse in that. "Last I checked, you're still a demon. Still the King of Hell. In what sense could this ever be different?"
Crowley remained silent, his eyebrows drawing together as he fell deep into thought, looking for anything in the vast amount of knowledge he'd gained over the years that he could use to answer her question. No matter how hard he searched though, he couldn't seem to find anything.
"You have no idea how much I want this." Selina carried on, bringing one hand up to gently cup the side of his face. She ran her thumb over the lining of his beard, feeling her heart break that much more when he leaned into what was probably the first non-harmful human touch he'd had in a while. "You have no idea how badly I've wanted this... Ever since that night I've only wanted you and I don't know why. Or how. But I do... I want you , Crowley. And it hurts to know that I can't have you."
"What makes you think you can't?" Crowley asked, genuinely curious as to her answer yet at the same time dreading it.
"You know why." Selina whispered, ghosting her thumb alongside Crowley's eye in indication of what lay beyond them. "What you are... What I am. It would never work. Not when I know that what I might feel for you, you could never feel for me."
"You don't know that." Crowley said softly, lightly brushing a few strands of Selina's purple hair behind her ear before his hand came to settle aside her saddened face.
He wanted to tell her, of course he did. Why wouldn't he? If he told her the truth, that he was able to feel things, human things. Like sadness, happiness, maybe even love then perhaps this scenario would have a different outcome to that which he feared. But no matter how badly he wanted to confess that, he couldn't.
Truthfully, part of him was scared that his ability to feel emotions would wear off after a time. That in a few weeks, months, or maybe even a year, he'd resort back to the demon that he once was. The cruel, capricious demon who'd once cut off the finger of a prophet and attempted to have the very woman he had now fallen for killed. And Crowley simply wouldn't allow himself to do that to Selina.
Better she go on by herself and figure out a way to get over him than have him string her along for a few months only for her to end up having to get over him anyway. Crowley knew that would be a whole lot tougher. If what she was saying was true then she might have grown to love him by then. She might have given him the one thing he truly desired and if that was the case, then it would only make it that much harder for her to let him go and demon or not, he couldn't break her heart like that.
So he had to let her do this.
"You're right." Selina exhaled, her breath trembling a touch and almost making Crowley slip up and blurt out his deep seated feelings for her as he couldn't stand to see her like this. But better he see her like this now than have to go about seeing her brokenhearted later. "I don't know that. But I can't take the chance... So I think it's best that we just... Go back to how things were before."
"If that's what you want then I will oblige." Crowley said painfully, forcing his lips to twitch upwards a little to hopefully offer Selina even a hint of ease over having to do this. "Only, I hope you don't mean all the way back as I very much enjoy the occasional text message."
"Me too." Selina smiled, and genuinely too even despite the pain blooming in her once cold chest.
She'd never had true feelings for someone before. Never had the opportunity to and in all honesty she was kind of glad for it otherwise she'd have been subjected to a lifetime of feeling like this. Empty and numb, yet at the same time overcome with immense heartache.
"I just think it's better if we stick to that side of things... Before someone gets hurt." Like me, Selina added mentally.
"Of course, darling." Crowley agreed, barely as it was taking everything in him not to fight for her. But like she said, someone could get hurt and given the darkness still lingering inside him he wouldn't be the one getting the shorter end of that stick and he'd be damned if he burdened Selina with it either.
Best they both go about feeling equally as disappointed over the outcome of this moment than one feeling worse than the other. At least that way Crowley would sleep better at night. Figuratively of course. Unless he had Selina tucked safely by his side then he'd never sleep, but as the saying goes and all that.
"Well I should probably leave." Selina sighed, forcing herself to step away from Crowley and his intoxicating nature.
Only, she didn't move more than a few inches back before it started getting difficult. Like seriously, did he have a magnet in his pocket or something because why the Hell was it so hard for her to move away from him? She sucked in a breath, her eyes flicking down to his lips that she was so badly drawn to.
Fuck it, Selina thought to herself. What harm would one more kiss do?
Other than make leaving all the more difficult. But it's not like she was even thinking about that as before Selina knew it her lips were back on Crowley's once more. He grabbed hold of her waist, securing her against his body and relishing in the slow drag of her fingers through his hair as she lost any and all control over herself.
"I must say darling, you and I have very different definitions of leaving."
"Shut up and keep kissing me." Selina was quick to take his lips in hers again, happily allowing him to take control whilst she did nothing but indulge in her plainly obvious weakness before she truly had to leave.
If this is how she planned to go about things then Crowley wasn't about to say no. No matter how loud his thoughts were telling him to. His tongue delved deeper into her mouth of its own accord, tasting every single taste present on her own and bringing her to a state of heightened bliss that she never wanted to fall from.
"I'm not known for my self-restraint, Selina." Crowley said breathlessly between kisses, his beard scratching over Selina's skin in a way that had her hum softly into his mouth and make him all the more unable to control himself. But he did warn her, which is why she appeared to have no issue with him backing her up against a pillar.
Thankfully the sound of a door opening pulled them apart before things could get too steamy, Dean's voice echoing throughout the building as he called out, "Cat, let's go already! What's the hold up?"
Crowley vanished, along with the bodies of the former hostage takers, leaving Selina to think on her feet as to an explanation for what was keeping her. She couldn't exactly tell Dean the truth otherwise he'd kill Crowley and lock her in the dungeon, accusing her of being hopped up on demon blood or something equally as idiotic.
In a minor fluster she pulled her phone from her pocket, almost dropping it in her haste to raise it to her ear where she was just in time to babble out some words before Dean came rounding the corner towards her, eyebrows raised as he expected an explanation for her dawdling.
"Just do what Jody tells you and you'll be fine." Selina said, motioning for Dean to give her a second as she played this off. And of course Dean just rolled his eyes, allowing her to sign off on her pretend phone call with Claire before turning her attention towards him. "Sorry... Lost track of time."
"You don't say." Dean scoffed, eyes casting over the warehouse to see the bodies gone and to that he couldn't help but smile a little. Perhaps they'd be calling Crowley more often if it meant no cleaning up. "Hurry it up will you? I'm starving."
"No surprises there." Selina mumbled, making her move towards the direction of the door when Dean shoved her a little. She managed to keep her footing, firing a glare over her shoulder at him as she straightened her jacket and smoothed down her hair.
That had been far too close for comfort, she thought to herself. It was bad enough that she'd almost let Crowley absolutely ravish her in a dirty, old warehouse but with her brothers waiting for her outside? That was a danger even in itself and if she wanted to avoid her own stint in the dungeon and Crowley's untimely demise then she'd need to be more careful.
And by that she meant absolutely no more kissing the King of Hell. But you know what they say... Things are a whole lot easier said than done and when it came to Crowley, Selina would quickly find out just how much of a weakness he truly was.
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