There they were. Looking like a picture-perfect family. The most perfect copacetic suburban family in their perfect white kitchen. Harold, my dad, was behind the big marbled island, with his thick well-trimmed beard. Mom hated that thing and still Harold would spend way to much time grooming it. I was not entirely sure if it was despite or because of her avowed dislike. He had a fascinating brain, being the most intelligent person I knew, but he could never know that's what I thought, I rather let he assume I though of him as a bore. Otherwise the fragile power balance between us would skew in his favour. He was wearing his vintage round turtle glasses and this fraying old tweed jacked over a cardigan. He looked almost purposefully slovenly. And yet, in all fairness, he didn't looked that old with that abundant wavy hair of his, despite his somewhat dishevelled looks. Right by his side was my mom Melinda, fixing sandwiches with one hand while helding with the other our little Shih Tzu Hendrix. She was impeccable as always sporting her tight floral dress with hem right below the knees, the mandatory high heels and her coiffed blond hair. She was tactful, uptight and well-mannered. One could say she was a living parody of a Stepford Wife, only she was so intense and methodic she actually managed to have it all. Be the ideal spouse, the envy of the neighbors and have a career, being pretty good at it. I love to shock her with my diableries especially in front of her estimated girl friends. Aside from me, they had an unblemished life. Only neither of them were the sort to conform. They were both too perfect and they would handle the insurmountable amount of their expectation over my own success like a sharp blade with what they would constantly shank me.

My dear brother Caleb was nearer the entrance, towering over everybody with his 6'3" of pure stupid. His big legs somehow reached some balance on the small kitchen stool. Clean cut as always, I could see the same chummy face, full cheeks, big nose, rosy complexion and pouty lips of ever. The same squinting dark brown eyes with those long lashes under the bushy browns. Except that there was something eerily different, something about his eyes I didn't recognize, something I couldn't pinpoint. Scratch that. I sudden realized, it was a entirely new self assurance. There was grit and a unfamiliar strength in his gaze I've never seen before. Like he finally found a backbone laying somewhere and had the idea to try it on himself. Felt out of place and yet suited him somehow. And, like a shot, I had an inkling Caleb wasn't exactly as meek as before. It immediately put me off.

It's been a while since my brother was home. He was barely a semester in college, when he came up with this algorithm and was snatched up by this big company in Norway like a year ago. I was pretty sure the said algorithm was a hack and he was in borrowed time in his fancy job. Maybe they noticed how dumb he really is and he got fired. That thought put a smile right back to my face.

"Why we're all so happy chatting like a bunch of crows?" I asked with a smile full of disdain.

Caleb had grabbed my attention by surprise when I entered the room, so I kept my glance into his face as I walked towards him, but just when I came really close to him I walked right past him and went directly to the fridge, grabbing a soda. Hendrix barked to me excited. I ignored him. I purposely acted like Caleb wasn't there, like I was all the time looking at something behind him, like he was invisible. It was a tad passive aggressive, I know, but it was the best show of insurgence I could come up with since I was thrown off by the surprise. I just had to communicate that the schism was still there. The little ruse was worth it, though. The fiery red in his cheeks and the way he suddenly seemed uncomfortable in his stool was all I needed to know to be sure that I managed to piss him off.

"Oh dear Lord! You silly! We're excited your brother is back, of course!" Mom said as she turned to him:

"We missed you a lot and we really wanted to have visited you but between the new position of Harold within the college board and your aunt Delilah passing away we just cound't," she said squeezing his hand.

"It's quite alright mom. I understand," Caleb said with his stupid low voice.

I saw a big duffel bag and a suitcase in wheels at the corner. I kicked the bag and watched as it slided across the room. Mom saw it but didn't say anything. Just a tiny wrinkle between her browns gave away her disapprove.

Hendrix barked again clamouring for some attention. I put my hand on his head and stroked his silky fur calming him down.

"Hey my Dude!" Matty said as he ran and awkwardly hugged my brother from behind.

"How's the good life treating you? Making the big bucks yet? Don't you forget me when you're spending all that tech cash, man. I'm the best wingman and the best sidekick, hehe, just ask Liam," he said enthusiastic.

I always enjoyed messing with my brother. I easily made friends he, not so much. And my friends always got in with the bullying, except for Matty. He was always kinda slow and never went in with the joke. In fact I would sometimes catch him fraternizing with the enemy. Despite that, I kept Matty around, he lived nearby, was down to do almost any dumb shit I'd come up with and with him it was just simpler making things go my way.

"Damn, Matty Beaufils you grew a lot man! What the heck you've been feeding on?" Caleb asked exaggerating his surprise face.

"Almost 6'1" man. Almost as tall as you," He said with a smile.

"Yeah, I guess you're dwarfing your friend over there," The sly motherfucker had the nerve to say.

"Hiiiie, I'm Marissa," my date said leaning in to give Caleb a kiss on each cheek. She seemed smitten and was about to trow herself at him.

"Why didn't you tell me you had a brother, babe?" She said to me with a high-pitch voice slapping my arm and keeping her eyes on him.

What? Like we're confident buddies? Ew, that bitch went in heat for that troll. Disgusting.

Mom made a weird face towards Marissa but said in turn:

"You kids should all stay for dinner! We have plenty. I made all of Caleb's favourites," Melinda exclaimed.

"No. Tonight it's just family," Harold said harshly.

"Er, that's ok. I have this big family reunion for grandpa at the Van Doren's State," Matty said.

"Yeah, he's all excited to wear his little tuxedo," Marissa hurried to say.

"Oh! But you got to have a sandwich or two Matty! You love my homemade jam," Melinda said.

Matty promptly grabbed three of them sandwiches, stuffing almost an entire one in his mouth.

"Matty, you gotta send us a picture of you later. I'm dying to see you all dressed up," Marissa said, overplaying their bond. They really never even talked much.

"Soo..." Melinda strategically took over.

"Your father and I were really excited to see the sights in Norway. Oh, so exotic! Liam would have loved there I'm sure. He used to love dressing up as vikings," She continued her blabbering as I faked vomited behind her at the mention of my name in relation to anything Caleb-related.

"I remember that freaking sword that went with that costume. He would go the entire day beating everyone that crossed his way with that damn thing," Caleb said annoyed.

Uh, didn't remember any of that but maybe I should dig up the old sword.

"You know it's been our dream to travel to Europe but with work and how demanding your boys were we never could. But someday, right honey?" Melinda said turning to my dad, serious as ever.

"Don't blame the boys or your dead sister Melinda. The plan was to go to France, Morocco and Egypt to see the birthplace of my favorite authors but you just had to have a bigger closet. And then, the garage converted in a big master bedroom. And after that the remodel of the kitchen and so on," Harold said in a sour tone, making everyone uncomfortably silent.

"Liam, aren't you gonna greet your brother?" Harold asked with a low voice but with a look that could kill. I could feel the veiled threat in his enunciation. My father was an English Professor at the Gaetan College in Riverview. I usually liked to test people and got a kick on provoking and pushing people's buttons. But with him I knew my limits. He was pretty aloof concerning his household, thank God, and didn't pay a lot of attention at my fuck ups for most of the time. But when he did, I really regretted. Despite his inoffensive demeanor I knew he wasn't one to be crossed.

I grinded my teeth for a second. Sinking my nails at the palm of my hand I compelled my face muscles to relax in order to produce a purposeful cynical smile. Turning to the obnoxiously big dumb-looking fella at my left I slapped with a little too force his back and asked, finally addressing the elephant in the room:

"So Caleb, how's life? I gotta say man, I pretty much forgot that you existed. You were always so bland that when you went abroad it was just like if mom had thrown out one her old pillows you know? I could bet most people felt the same way too. But let's hope your friends didn't also. Oh wait, you never really had any friends, right?" I said with the most manufactured amicable voice I could.

"Huum... Ok," he muttered with an impatient mug.

"It's all been pretty good dude. I was hoping you had matured a little in this time but... take your time buddy," the fucker said to me, all conceited.

"Oh you two, still the same antics," Melinda intervened.

"Your brother actually felt a lot when you left Caleb. Like we all, by the way. Obviously, he made sure to make a show to say otherwise, buying fireworks at that first weekend. Almost burn down my Willow Tree. Mrs. Whitman almost had an heart attack, the poor thing. But the following weeks he was all sulky, lingering around the house being moody. And would spend a lot of time in your room rummaging through your things".

"I did not!" I said exasperated.

"You know mom, when you're old enough, let's say in about five years or so, I'm gonna put you in the shittiest nursing home I could find or, better yet, an asylum. Because you are crazy," I said leaving and pushing Matty and Marissa with me.