Gxxod's POV

As soon as my call with Bas ended, I flung myself face down on the bed.  I buried my face into my pillow not wanting to cry.  Pull yourself together, Gxxod, I scolded myself.  You're just being paranoid in thinking that Bas is cheating on you with Josh.

I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch the moment I get back to Bangkok, I told myself.  I wished so hard that my work here in China would end quickly.  I vowed that I would do my best not to mess up any lines during the filming, or to act as naturally as I could in front of the cameras so that the director would not have to make me do several takes and then we could wrap up the filming earlier than scheduled.

The next morning before I took my shower, just out of curiosity I checked out Josh' Instagram.  I quickly regretted that I gave in to my curiosity because there he was in a restaurant having what, lunch or dinner?  It didn't matter, but what mattered was that there was Bas in the restaurant with him, all smiles and making finger hearts at the camera.

My whole body was shaking.  I could not even bring myself to call Bas in order to confront him.  I needed to calm down first.

I stepped into the shower and did not turn the hot knob on.  I purposely turned only the cold knob on and let the cold icy water shock my whole system.

I rested one hand against the wall of the bathroom to support myself as I felt that my knees were going to give way anytime and I would end up on the floor.

"You lied to me,  Bas,  you lied to me!  Aaaaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhh!  You cheating bastard!"  I continued to let the  cold water stream down my whole body until I felt that I was drained of all emotion.

I let myself out of the shower and put on my clothes.  I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to get through the day.  I wasn't even sure if the director would let me do any filming at all because my eyes were all puffy and I looked a total mess.

"What happened to you?" was my manager's way of greeting me when I got to the set.

"Too much shampoo got into my eyes,"  I said and I didn't care that she gave me a look that said 'I don't believe you'

As I expected I had to make so many takes on one scene alone, simply because either I messed up my line or my facial expressions left too much to be desired.  Fuck, why does this director have to be such a perfectionist.

By the time we wrapped up for the day I felt totally drained.  I hardly touched the dinner that was provided to us by management.  When I got back to my trailer I still could not get myself to call Bas.  I wouldn't even know how to start the conversation anyway.  It wouldn't be a conversation.  It would be a yelling match, with me doing all the yelling.  Better to postpone the call until I have sufficiently calmed down.