"June...please I don't understand." The March girl had exited the home again and was racing to her car but JJ had to stop her, the girl turning around when she was standing by her car. She looked sad, and he still didn't understand, his heart aching at the sight of her hurt. His fingers moved to touch her as his heart melted for her and he actually managed to make contact, his fingers balling her dress by her hip.

"What was that?" His eyes were glazed over and he was watching her mouth as she spoke and June almost felt sick by how innocent and sorrowful he looked. His eyes glistened with something and she recognized it from somewhere else, she just couldn't quite put her finger on it. "Why were you in my house? Eating with my parents? I don't—I don't understand either. Are you like...one—one of them now or something?"

"No! No I came here for you. I came because I did something bad to your family and I needed to fix it. I'm trying to do right by you. I keep trying baby, I'm trying okay?" June felt like she had missed something big, he sounded strange, he looked delusional. Calling her baby confused her and she didn't know why he thought anything had changed in the day since she had blown him off for kissing her. She looked down and saw the way he was gripping her shirt, and then she looked back and she knew exactly where she had seen that look before. It was lovesick, it was desperate, it was passionate, it was delusional, it was a look she had seen in the eyes of Rafe Cameron and Zach Roberts. It was beyond love...it was devotion.

"JJ...me and you—we're not together. You don't have to fix things with my dad, because we are not together." Thunder rumbled overhead as if called by their raised voices and June felt the stir in her chest as she stepped back from him. He felt like the Earth was ripping them apart and he felt a drop of rain on his face, the rain bringing about desperation as he was prepared to plead for her.

"I know that. That why I came here though. I asked— I asked your father if I could ask you to Midsummers. I got his blessing." June seemed so confused, her face scrunching up as she tried to understand what he was even talking about. Going behind her back to her father? It didn't make sense. "I'm trying harder than I have ever tried before I really am and I'm not—I'm not going to fuck it up this time I just need you. I need you. And I need you to give me a chance. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kissed you but I miss you, more than I've ever missed anyone or anything. I need you back."

"You just expect me to come back to you after everything? What's changed JJ? What have you done to be better? Nothing. Nothing." His face dropped and he looked stunned by her words, his hand pressing into his chest as he raised his voice.

"Nothing?! I've been trying since we broke up to do the right thing." She wanted to laugh, the frown on her lips making an appearance as he looked at her with his shocked expression. How could she be so blind?

"Have you?" She antagonized. He really didn't understand her, he didn't understand how everything was still not enough.

"I don't understand what you want from me. I did everything to fix this how is it still not enough?" He said in a pleading tone, June stunned by the tears that soon brimmed his eyes. She stepped back and felt alarmed, wondering why he was acting so strangely.

"What?"

"When we first broke up I stayed away from Kie because I knew it was the right thing to do because I choose you. I—I gave you the space you wanted. I gave you time! It's been 7 months. I accepted the Rafe stuff, I tried to be your friend like you wanted. I made up with your dad! I don't know what else to do!" When he summed it up like that it did sound like a lot, but for some reason it didn't sound like enough.  However she thought for a moment and realized she wasn't entirely sure what else he could do either.

"It's not that simple." The rain was coming down now, and the longest three stood here the more wet they would get, but she couldn't move...she knew she couldn't move. She had to hear him, she knew she had to hear him.

"But I asked you! I asked you if I should give up and you said no! So I didn't! I did everything you wanted. So what more do you want from me?! How much more do I have to suffer until I've suffered enough for you?!" He was shouting now, the rain pouring on both of them. He seemed so emotional, so unlike himself, it felt strange but passionate fighting in the rain. His words pulled a real reaction out of her and she just had to yell back, wanting him to know.

"As much I did! I want you to hurt like I did and I don't care if that makes me a bad person because it's true!" JJ shook his head, running a hand over his face and stepping back. He closed his eyes for a moment and tried to calm himself, his head spinning from being so close to her. There was no universe where they could be friends. There was no universe where he could exist near her and not be constantly weakened by her presence.

"You sit here and you say that like it didn't kill me to break up with you. Like I didn't feel like someone had stabbed me when I told you I didn't love you. I didn't mean it, you know I didn't. I could never mean it. I could never not love you!" His words sent a jolt of something through her body, her heartbeat quickening as she felt an explosion hit the walls she had built up as high as she could. But she continued to resist, hoping she could keep herself standing.

"I can-"

"And I wrote to you! I wrote you and I defended you to the others and I changed their minds and I fought for you and I'm still fighting and I'll keep fighting because I can't stop! I cant stop fighting because I need you. And I get it now." He seemed to let something slip that she wasn't sure what he meant by it, his breaths heavy as he took a few steps back and then walked towards her again. His fists were clean chong at his sides and then he brought a hand up to his chest, running at his heart.

"You get what?"

"I get why they felt like this...I understand." The moment that he said 'they' she knew who he was speaking of, her heart jumping into her throat. He was speaking of Rafe and Zach, their obsession, their pull to her, he was saying he understood it. And he did. He would sit around all the time with thoughts of only her in his head, he would constantly think of her, he could see how she could drive someone into madness. She had a terribly lasting effect on people.

"This is not okay. We are not okay." June said, shaking her head as she tried to recover from that comment. Knowing that he was admitting to being on the brink of what the others had fallen into...it scared her.

"And I will live the rest of my life trying to make it all up to you because I'm never gonna not fuck it up but I'd rather take my chances. And I know I shouldn't have kissed you, I know we're supposed to be off limits and that I'm supposed to be trying to be your friend but I can't be your friend because I dream about you every night and it's like when  I wake up I'm in a nightmare because I do nothing but miss you. Every day is torture because I'm not with you. I can barely remember what life felt like before you because nothing is normal anymore. But I cant pretend anymore. I cant. I have to be with you. I have to." His words caused a shuddering breath from her lips and she felt a snap in her body, like the last shred of self control had disappeared into thin air. The rain was soaking him and his blue shirt was unforgiving to her as it soaked and showed her what was beneath. He had tears in his eyes and his face was blotchy as he quite literally pleaded for her to take him back. She swallowed hard and opened her mouth to speak, unsure what would happen if he spoke again but still prompting him.

"I don't know what to do."

"Please..." The whisper of his shaky voice shot through her like a bullet and she felt that wildfire only he could light her with. She felt her better judgment fly out of her body, she felt a shiver down her spine and every cloud in her head start to crackle like the thunder. She tried to think of something else but everything led back to him and how much she wanted him too, how much she needed him too, how much she needed to disappear into him and fix the broken parts of herself. She grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled their bodies together, her other hand going to the back of her head as she gave in and gave up, pressing her lips to his. The rain mixed with what tasted like tears and JJ felt like he was drunk on winning her over. His hands bolted to her waist and he kissed her desperately, hungrily, messily, like she was  his lifeline, like he needed her to breathe. For the first time in a long time it felt okay, it felt right...and he was well aware that it did.

"I love you..." He killed back soaking wet and with heavy eyes, the girl quite literally being able to see his proof of his words in his gaze. He kissed her again and he couldn't even close his eyes this time, feeling like any moment he could wake up from this dream, any moment this would end up being not real. "...I love you, June."

He pushed them together closer and she was leaned against the hood of the car, their kisses full of passion and tasting like rain. She breathed out in relief that for the first time in what felt like years she didn't feel like she was being punished or tortured.

"I love you." He whispered into the skin of her jaw. "I love you." He whispered into her neck. "I love you." He whispered into her hair.

"Wait." She said, and he looked up at her. His eyes were brimming with adoration and infatuation, like she could say or tell him to do anything right now and he would do it. She couldn't lie and say she wasn't blinded by it either, like she wasn't under the spell herself. She wanted him entirely, she wanted him always, she needed him desperately, and he still felt miles away. She couldn't have that any longer. "Wait..."

"What is it?" His voice was soft and almost whiny, his lips parted and a devilishly boyish expression about him. He was impossible to resist.

"Do you want to get out of here?"

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....

well

I felt like maybe it's about time

tell me what you think and also there might be some sexual content next chapter but there also might not be...I'm still deciding.