June sat at the edge of the dance floor, the wind chilling her as she watched the couples dancing. JJ had been pulled away by Pope and John B, and Cleo was sitting beside her. June had her head rested on her shoulder and a hand locked securely around her waist, the dizziness that came with chugging alcohol making her need an anchor to the Earth. Cleo was effectively running her hand over the ends of Junes hair, both of them sitting in silence and enjoying the warmth of a friend.

"Is it weird?" The voice was Cleo's, her accent poking through the tone of her words and making June hum in confusion at what she was talking about. The hum in her throat sent a vibration through her body and reminded her she was heavily intoxicated, her eyes closing as she waited for her answer. "Is it weird being here now that you are a Pogue? Pope told me about last years party."

"No." June said without hesitation, her eyes still closed as the music played softly in the background of her thoughts. It didn't feel weird, because this was all she had ever known. Having one foot in both worlds didn't effect her here. "It's not weird. It's normal."

"Hm." Cleo hummed back, pondering her answer.  She considered speaking again but her lips just tightened into a line as the song changed. Junes ears perked up at the sound of the first chords of the song and she opened her eyes, a rush of joy flooding through her as she recognized it instantly.  "You like this song?"

"Yes it's...me and Zach dance to this song every year. Well not last year—but we—" The person she was speaking of approached quickly, his hand already extended to the girl who was sitting up.

"May I have this dance?"  He said in a silly little accent, June instantly grabbing his hand and taking off with him. Cleo watched as she disappeared into the sea of rich people, her hand safety tucked into his. He shot towards the middle of the floor, pulling her close so they could dance to the song. It had become a tradition a long time ago, the song was so cliche and bad that they slow danced to it every year...every year except last year.

"Oh god this song is so bad." June exclaimed over the music, her head shaking in some kind of disgust as Zachs fingers inched further around her waist. The crowd danced in a lively manner but they just swayed, joy in his eyes as he looked at her.

"I thought you'd forget." Zach said, June immediately shaking her head at his words. She would never forget, she simply hadn't been there the year before when it played. "You know...you didn't dance with me last year—"

"They didn't play it!" She said, her arm tightening around the back of his neck. His eyebrows raised and he nodded, his face scrunching up as he looked down at her.

"Yeah they did. I specifically remember. June I tried to ask you, but you were mad at me and I get that. You know I never really got the chance to apologize for—" June lifted her hand and cut him off with a shushing noise, pulling him closing and laying her head on his chest. She didn't want to hear his apologies, she had done enough to him that she figured he never needed to apologize again. She was tired of living in the past, she wanted everything to just be okay now.

"Can I cut in?" The voice was JJs, interrupting the two of them with a small smile. Zach watched as her entire face lit up, a cold feeling spreading through his body ad he gripped her hand. He looked at JJ and met his gaze, his stomach turning and then his hands detaching from the girl.

"Don't you always?" Zach said, masking the comment behind a friendly smile. JJ caught it but decided he didn't care enough to say anything, Zach leaving the two of them in the middle of the dance floor. June March wrapped her arms loosely around JJs neck, her cheek pressed against his shoulder as they swayed to the music. It had been a good hour since her and her brothers bathroom pregame, and June was definitely feeling it, JJ not commenting on it so far—although he was almost 80% sure she was wasted. His arms were wrapped around her waist and they were dancing amongst the sea of couples, JJ feeling slightly uncomfortable but still doing it because she was there.

June pulled back, her eyes gleaming as she looked over his face. She ran her fingers down his cheek and then ran her thumb across his bottom lip, letting out a hum of approval as she tilted her head to the side.

"Do you know what we were doing this time last year?" She asked gently, her hand going back to his shoulder as he shook his head at her. He was lost in her gaze, unable to even think back to last years. "We were dancing. And I was so happy to see you."

"Well aren't you always happy to see me?" He asked smugly, June chuckling a little bit as she rolled her eyes at him.  She thought back to the year before and why they had been separated, her stomach knotting as she furrowed her eyebrows.

"But I was especially happy...because you were in jail remember? And I didn't know if you were okay...and you weren't...but you are now." Her speech slurred and he pushed hair from her face, his heart aching as he thought about what she said. "You are okay...aren't you?"

"Yeah. I'm okay baby. Are you okay?" He asked in a sweet tone, his thumb tracing over her cheek bone as they stood on the dance floor. She slowly nodded, leaning into his hand and feeling as if they were the only two people in the world. She closed her eyes and then laid her head against his shoulder again, the boy looking past the top of her head and waiting for an answer.

"I feel great..."

"Yeah I bet you do...I think you're even more wasted than last year." He joked, the laughter in his chest vibrating through her. Her eyes opened and from his shoulder she could see Sarah and John B, the two of them talking on the lawn to Pope. She felt a surge of unexplainable love for her friends, tears gathering in her eyes as she pulled her head back.

"I really love our friends. Pope is like the greatest guy ever and Sarah is such a good person and she's been through so much and Cleo is just—" JJs face fell as he saw the tears in her eyes, not sure what was happening. He pulled her away as she continued to go on a tangent about how much she loved the group, the boy pulling her towards the ones in question. She detached from him and shot towards John B, pulling him into a close hug and catching him off guard. He leaned to hug her back, giving JJ a wide eyed confused look as she continued on about how she loved him so much.

"I love you too Juneypoo...you think maybe it's time you get home?" John B suggested, the girl pulling back with a glare in her eyes. "You're wasted June—"

"She's fine. Leave her alone." The voice came from behind JJ, all of them turning their heads towards Adam March and his lackey...Zach Roberts. For a moment that old tension blew between them and then Pope shook his head, gesturing towards June who was holding Cleo around the waist, her head on the girls shoulder.

"We weren't doing anything man...she's just really drunk and we were wondering if she needed to go home and—" Adam cut the boy off, his words slurring only a little bit, but enough to indicate he had been drinking as well.

"She's really actually fine dude...she can handle herself. And if she needs help ...she doesn't need yours. She really doesn't need you guys putting your fingers in her business again." The words went over exactly the way he meant them, a shift in the tension making Junes back straighten. He waved them off, his arm going out to grab his sister away from them. He seemed to be insulting them and Zach stepped a little forwards, putting his hand on Adams arm to try and pull him away.

"What's that supposed to mean?" The voice was John Bs, his lips tightening into a straight line as he tilted his head at the March boy. He was almost challenging him. He stepped to the right, blocking June from his hand that was reaching to pull her from them.  This was quickly picked up by Adam, his lip curling up in some kind of anger for a moment.

"Adam lets just—" Zach tried but to no avail, Adam shrugging his hand off as JJ crossed his arms over his chest, wondering what he meant by it too.

"I mean my sister needs to ask for help in the right places instead of in the places where she gets her life ruined." Zach now pulled Adam back, the Pogues  feeling a collective sense of discomfort and a little bit of guilt. He wasn't entirely wrong.

"Adam you're drunk man...just leave them alone." Zach said, his head shaking as he realized he was fighting a losing battle. Whatever he wanted to accomplish here would only make her angry.

"Stop pretending you know what's right for me." June said in a authoritative tone, the girl shooting forwards and grabbing her brother by the arm. She marched away with him, the older boy sending an icy look back to the others as the liquor guided his words. June got to a place where she could scold her brother privately, her head already shaking  as she turned to him. "What are you doing?"

"They're trying to tell you what to do and  I just think they shouldn't have any say in—" Adam said, not feeling like he needed to explain himself for not liking them.  Nothing they said or did would change that,  especially not now.

"Cant you just let it go?! I let it go...so should you!" She pleaded with him, wondering what it was that kept him so enthralled in despising the Pogues.

"No I cant let it go because you don't get it! You didn't have to sit back and pick up the pieces here! You do whatever you want with your friends then you go missing and I'm holding the family together! You break up with your boyfriend and I have to watch you  suffer! I've been doing it for years now—just watching you suffer! You don't have to sit back and watch yourself make your stupid decisions like I do!" Adams reasoning was valid, he didn't like them because they were most of the reason the last year had happened. Junes face was straight as she listened to him, wanting to find empathy in herself but not being able to really catch onto a single thought. He gestured towards himself, his eyes blinking frantically as he tried to voice his frustration. "You don't get it June! You do whatever you want—you don't have to fix it! I've been fixing your shit since we were kids! So excuse me if I don't approve of the assholes who made this mess."

"I think you should go home." June said, feeling a pit in her stomach at his words. She had never thought of it all from his point of view before, she had only seen her own suffering...she wasn't sure if she could put herself into his shoes.

"Excuse me if I'm cautious when you're around them...you went missing twice! We thought you were dead! And all that shit that you did and that happened to you only ever started because of them!"

"Go home!" She said, storming off and away from him. The alcohol stirred her stomach and the anger and burning sensation in her body made her feel sick, the girl stumbling towards the bathroom. She sat against the bathroom wall, her knees pulled to her chest as she tried to keep herself from getting sick, her face buried deep into her legs. Her mind swirled and she felt overwhelmed with the fact that he brother had become angry with them, that he had drudged up the past. She wondered if she would ever live a day where she wasn't reminded of the horrors that befell her, the terrifying things she encountered all in the span of a few months. Her lips parted and she pulled in hard breaths, a chill going down her spine when the ghastly images began to flash across her eyelids. It had been awhile since she'd seen them, the techniques from her counselor at the school having helped her shut them out effectively. But the alcohol and the fighting didn't help the delusions, the first images knocking the wind out of her.

Singh stood before her, a pool of blood growing tauntingly on his chest. His hand reached out towards her, her heart jolting as he fell into the water. It was like she was there. Thinking of Singh took her directly into the thought of Leon Hardy, her breath stopping all together as she remembered the look in his eyes, the blood on her hands.

"Listen to me! Listen to me!" The voice in her head was Rafes, telling her to focus up. She choked on her breaths and it felt like she wasn't drunk at all, not even a little bit. She attempted to breath when her eyes flew open, her hand pressed against her chest as she stumbled over deep breaths. She was in a full blown panic when the bathroom door opened, frantic footsteps rushing towards her and then arms grabbing at her. She looked with wide and crazed eyes at who it was and she felt nothing but terror when she saw that it was JJ. She didn't want him to see her like this, undone and falling apart. She was better, she was supposed to be better.

"Hey...hey, hey—June—baby hey listen—look at me. Look at me...yeah okay. Breathe...breathe..." He was holding her by the face, his eyes wide and worried as he attempted to help her calm down. He didn't know how to help but he knew she couldn't breathe, so he tried his hardest to at least get that back. "Breathe...that's it. Good job. Keep going."

His hand ran over her hair and she was an utter mess, her shuddering breaths calming. They looked at each other in deep understanding and tense reality before he pulled her head to his chest, the girl leaning against his crouching body. She balled his shirt into her hands, letting out a cry of embarrassment, anger, fear. He held her with worry, not sure what was wrong or how to fix it. It angered him that he didn't know how to fix it.

"I just want it to be over." She cried into his chest, JJ shushing her and trying to calm her. He had never seen her like this, so defenseless and vulnerable. How could a good night turn out so bad? "It's never going to be over!"

She exclaimed with word vomit, someone else's words regurgitating into her own. She was lean right he ahed way that she would never just move on. Something or someone would always remind her. She just had to learn to live with it.

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Idk what this is lmao I'm sorry...I'm trying to write happy shit but I feel like I can't be happy so it's kind of projecting on my writing. I might take this down and rewrite it so if it's something different don't be like super shocked.