Wow I never thought I'd be contemplating this.

I lowkey didn't know I would even be thinking that this might be the case, but here we are.

I may... or may not... be a system?

WOAH BEFORE YOU CLICK OFF OR RAGE AT ME OR UNFOLLOW LET ME EXPLAIN MY THOUGHT PROCESS HERE

Okay so I joined a system server like 2 weeks ago cause my friend bumfucked me and I'm pretty sure I was the one of the only people in there that WASNT a system.

Now obviously, a year ago, I had a official diagnosis for my mental health. Albeit it was from a professional that wouldn't diagnose me with autism because "girls can't have autism".... UH ANYWAYS SO I GOT THE DIAGNOSIS- AND THE OBVIOUS THREE WERE ON THERE:

Major Depressive Disorder

Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, or ADHD. (I think that's what adhd stands for but don't quote me on that)

And a couple ones that were in the middle, like unspecified/unsure:

Personality disorder (they said bpd but they couldn't diagnose it yet cause I wasn't 18)

Eating disorder (NOT ANYMORE HAH I KICKED THAT FUCKER IN THE FACE (almost 1 year free!1!1!1!))

And lastly, a dissociative disorder- although this one was last and least likely-

So I put two and two together (and the server got me thinking) and was like- yknow what- even if it isn't true and I'm making an absolute fool of myself...

Ima see if I am a system by experimentation. Experimentation being trying to make alters on discord using PluralKit and such.

YES IK THAT SELF DIAGNOSING IS CONTROVERSIAL AND IM NOT DOING THAT BUT IM JUST TRYIN OUT ALL MY OPTIONS HERE!

Especially since it might give me a better sense on who I am as a person/what disorder I might have so I can get specific help for it :3

ANYWAYS UH IF YOU SEE ME USING THE TERMS:

f ; (name of member here)

THAT JUST MEANS THATS WHOS... AGH IT FEELS SO WEIRD TO SAY... FRONTING...? GAH

I currently have 7 recognized members, but more might be discovered later

idk the terms for this shit even though I've done at least 10 hours of fucking research in the past week I couldn't comprehend a single thing any article or professional website I looked at-

UH BUT THATS THAT IG!!!! (This is so awkward help)

Also I wanted to point out that I know a lot of people have been faking DID and OSDD for attention in the past couple years. Putting it as a light hearted "oh yay favorite characters" thing.

It's not that, far from it. At least from my experience (???) and digging on the internet it REALLY isn't that...

Like I was able to recognize who I was member wise (??????) and ground myself so to speak IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT-

Me being a system makes sense... for the most part. So that's why im not officially saying "oh yeah I have this!!!", instead im saying, "im seeing if I have this"

ANYWAYS GOODBYE SORRY FOR THE AWKWARDNESS LOVE YOU GUYS!!!