I am two days early :D

This chapter is dedicated to @s_red_anime who is celebrating her birthday today :)

Pic on the side is of>>>

****

“That’s the thing about books.

They let you travel without

moving your feet.”

-Jhumpa Lahiri, The Namesake

TEMPLAR P.O.V

“Templar” Rett called me and I whirled my head to look at him. “We have reached the pack” he informed climbing out of the car. Nodding, I climbed out of the car.

Immediately, I was engulfed in a bear hug by Sveta. I stood motionless as she said how happy she was to have me back. When Sveta pulled away, Ophelia, Trudy, Cam and others hugged me.

They were saying something but I didn’t listen to any of it. I was only thinking about the baby. My baby would have still been with me had I not been reckless.

I caused the death my own child.

What kind of a mother does that make me?

“Templar” I heard Trudy calling me loudly and I blinked. “What’s wrong?” she asked me confused. I blinked and stared at her in confusion. “Is everything alright? You seem lost” she said resting her hand on her baby bump.

I paled as I saw that baby bump. It brought back all the memories.

Soon, the wall that I have built in my head, to block thinking about a future with my baby, started to crumble. Each brick was breaking and I could do nothing to stop it. Desperately I shut my eyes to stop thinking, but it didn’t help. There came a wave so powerful that it shook me. It overpowered me and crumbled the wall.

Soon there were vivid images playing in my head.

A child running on the shore with Everett.  A woman with long brown hair, waiting for them to join her. She kneels down and holds out her arms to her laughing child, to Everett.

As she lifts the child up, Everett wraps his arms around them. They looked good. A happy family. The woman looked contented with her family, her face bright with happiness.

When I opened my eyes, the image was gone. Lowering my head, I stared at my own feet.

It was a dream. A cruel one.

Taking a deep breath, I once again built the wall brick by brick, blocking all those thoughts.

I heard Everett saying something but I didn’t pay any attention to his words. Slowly, the crowd around me departed. Holding my hands in his, Everett began walking towards our mansion.

I stared at the mansion that felt like home a week ago, but now I felt like I had stepped into a strange horizon. I totally felt out of place.

Once, I was inside I sat on the sofa and lowered my head.

“Tired?” Rett asked me and I nodded.  My skin was burning up and I knew I had fever. “Let’s go to our room” he said extending his hand for me to take.

Gulping, I took his hands and let him lead me upstairs. Once we were in the bedroom, I felt nauseous. I barely made it to the bathroom before throwing everything I had for lunch this afternoon.

As I stepped out of the bathroom, Rett was waiting with a towel and a glass of water to rinse my mouth. When I was done, I handed the glass and the towel without making any sort of contact with him.

If Rett was annoyed, he didn’t mention it to me. When I was sure he was gone, I walked back to the room and sat on the bed.

I was hit with the memories of our intimate moments here. The moments which once were blissful, now felt like they were mocking me. They were cruelly reminding me about what all I had put at stake when I lost my control to my wolf.

Everett stood next to the threshold, crossed his arms across his chest and asked, “Do you want something to eat?”

At the moment, “Some fruit” I said and he nodded. When he was gone, I stared at the photo on the wall near the bed. Rett had his arms wrapped around me from behind and he was resting his chin on my shoulders. In that photo, I was laughing with glee and so was Everett because it was our wedding day. That day, we made promises to start a new life, build a family, but now…

As I heard footsteps coming upstairs, I quickly looked away. Everett placed the plate with sliced apples on the coffee table. Sighing, I sat on the sofa and began eating them while Everett went downstairs to get his bag.

When I was finished, I slowly made my way to the bathroom to change into something more comfortable for bed. First, I took a bath and then after changing into a pair of shorts and t-shirt, I went to our room.

I felt as weak as a kitten and since I didn’t feel like having dinner, I decided to sleep.

Pulling back the covers, I climbed on the bed and the closed my eyes.

I woke up around five-thirty in the morning the next day. Rett was still asleep beside me and I decided not to wake him up. As for my health, I felt a lot better than yesterday but still as my feet touched the floor, I felt a shiver run all over my body. Crossing my arms across my chest, I padded towards the bathroom.

Once I was fresh, I changed into a summer dress and went downstairs. As I stepped into the kitchen, I noticed the calendar. I flipped until I found the black mark on the calendar where I had last marked my period. It winced as I realized that it was almost two months ago.

I am so stupid.

I never bothered about my delayed periods. I was so busy with the book release that I didn’t even realize I had missed my monthlies. I was almost eight weeks and my scent had started changing too.

According to our ancestors, a she-wolf’s scent changes the moment the baby gets a soul. In scientific way, we call it when the embryo turns to fetus. It’s the time where the fetus’s heart beats regularly and the time the baby’s sense organs start forming.

My scent had changed too and I would have known it had I stayed here in the pack. The other pack wolves didn’t recognize my scent well and hence couldn’t find any difference in my scent. Just like Rett told me, they thought I smelled all the more powerful. However in reality, it was my baby’s scent which was mixed with mine.

I felt another sharp pain through my body as I recalled the harsh truth that I caused my baby’s heart to stop beating. I had killed my baby, all because I couldn’t control my wolf.

Speaking of wolves, I realized that mine was still not responding. She was taking much more time to heal and doctor said she’ll take around a fortnight to get back to normal.

Gulping, I took a step back and walked to the kitchen. I was looking for food when I found a list in the attached to the refrigerator with a title- “TEMPLAR’S DIET.” There was a list of food which I could eat. Judging by handwriting, I knew Sveta had written it.

Sighing I decided to prepare scrambled eggs.

By the time Rett woke up, I already had my breakfast and was watching television. I was flipping channels after channels but paused when I saw a baby in one channel. The channel was apparently showing how a baby communicates with the parents before he/she learns how to talk.

I compressed my lips as a mother was telling about a weird face her son makes whenever he wants to pee. A small chuckle escaped from my lips as I saw the boy wrinkle up his tiny nose and make the exact face. Another baby would tap the floor repeatedly when he wanted food. I watched the show with a smile at first but later started envying it.

The same pleasure would have been mine, had I not….

The channel was suddenly changed into a music one. “This is a good way to spend your morning” Rett mumbled sitting beside me. Even though I knew that he purposely changed the channel, I didn’t bother saying anything. “Feeling better?” he asked sitting beside me.

“Yes” I whispered croakily.

Rett however leaned forward and placed his hand over my forehead, “Better than yesterday” he muttered. “Did you have your breakfast?” he enquired me and I nodded.

“I prepared for you too” I said softly. Rett seemed surprised to hear my words; however he quickly covered it up.

“Let me guess- eggs?” he teased and I smiled softly. He placed an arm over my shoulder and I stiffened. Having even a tiny bit of physical contact with Rett roused intimate memories which I didn’t want to recall now. His touch which was actually to calm me, made me feel jumpy and I knew Rett sensed it too. Slowly, hesitantly, he pulled his hand back.

I saw Rett whose jaws were clenched tightly. It was as if he was restraining himself from saying something at my behavior.

Before he could say anything, there was a loud knock on the door and with a sigh; Rett went to open the door.

After Rett went away, I let out a breath, I wasn’t even aware I was holding.

The door opened to reveal my friends and my brother. January walked in first and slumped on the seat beside me. “She needs a place to hide” Keith spoke sitting on the couch.

“She woke Luka up… again” Terence said with a frown directed at his mate.

“He was already up.” Jan objected and I rolled my eyes. “I am not lying” she said when she saw our expressions.

“Please” Rett scoffed. “We all know you did it”

“Get lost” she snapped at Rett. “I don’t care if you all believe me, I know Tem will believe me” she said looking at me pleadingly and I narrowed my eyes at her. ‘Please, please, please’ Jan begged through the link and I smiled. “Say it Templar” she urged.

“I believe her” I said shaking my head and Rett snorted.

“Who want cotton for their ears?” Rett asked loudly to no one in particular.

“I want it” Terence and Keith said at the same time.

Just as Rett handed them the cotton, Cam came with a sobbing Luka in his arms. I saw Keith wincing and stuffing the cotton to his ears. I glared at them for doing that.

“Please take him away from me” Cam begged, passing his crying son to me.

I gulped as I saw Luka, whose little face was red as fire, while he screamed at the top of his lungs. Immediately, I pressed Luka closer to me and gently rubbed his back. Minutes passed by with me doing just that while others were watching T.V.

I froze as the baby rested his head on the curve of my shoulder, his hot brow tickling my neck. Luka, unaware of what I was feeling had already fallen asleep. Swallowing audibly, I gently pulled him away and stared at his sleeping figure.

Eyes closed, he looked blissful.

For a whole minute, I just stared at Luka. The walls that I have built slowly started crumbling and shaking my head, I decided it’s time I hand Luka back to his father. As I looked up, I found every pair of eyes on me.

Nervously, I handed Luka back to Cam. “You are a natural when it comes to babies” he said ruffling my hair. I smiled awkwardly.

Natural!

If I am natural, why couldn’t I have the same pleasure? Do I not deserve to be a mother? Why did I have to lose my child?

As I thought about all this, my head started pounding. Trying not to show the hurt expression, I lowered my head and muttered- thanks.

After Cam was gone, Jan turned to face me. Before she could utter a word, I got up, “I have a headache. I need rest.” I muttered placing a hand on my temples. “I will see you guys later” with that said, I went upstairs.

I know they tried to cheer me up by bringing Luka; however, I am so much in grief that I knew it would not be easy for me to forget the baby or forgive myself.

EVERETT P.O.V

My expression hardened as I stared at my mate’s retreating figure.

“She cannot continue like this” January was the first one to speak when Templar closed the door behind her.

“She is not doing it on purpose. Try to understand her.” Terence defended his sister.

“I am trying” I muttered through gritted teeth. I knew it was worst for her. My mind had gone blank when I found out she was pregnant, but I knew it must have been a thousand times worse for Templar. Even though she was unaware of the truth, she still had gone through all that physical experience.

“Sveta had warned that we shouldn’t let her sink into depression. There are chances of that happening especially when her wolf isn’t active inside her.” Keith said beside me.

“Her wolf, if it was active would have made things worse” I condemned. I knew how Templar’s wolf works. Her wolf would have kept lamenting and blaming itself.

Inhaling sharply, I ran my hands over my face and stood up, “You guys go back to your work from today. I will take care of Templar.”

They all stood up with me as well, “Just call if you need anything.” Terence said and after a hug, he walked out of the door.

I slowly pushed the door ajar and found Templar lying on the bed and looking out the window. When I pushed it more, she closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep.

I wanted to soother her, comfort her, but then again I knew there was nothing I could do to her now. No comfort will be enough. Instead, I decided to give her some time and space.

In that time, I want her to try to forget everything and move on. If she doesn’t then a change of scenario will help.

I will be taking Templar away. Somewhere where she can rest and recover from this traumatizing experience.

Yes! That is what I will do.

Entering the room, I ignored Templar and went and picked my duffle bag, which I had kept on the couch yesterday. There were some shabby clothes in the bag that I needed to throw away.

With a frown, I picked up those clothes and placed it on the coffee table. Next, I went and kept the stash of money in the closet. As the bag was also shabby, I decided to throw it away as well. When I was about to keep the untidy clothes in the bag, I saw Genessa’s book. In a haste of returning to the pack, I had forgotten to give it to her.

I took out the book, stuffed the untidy clothes into the bag and went out. Standing next to the door, I stared at Templar, only to see her closing her eyes shut. Shaking my head, I went downstairs.

After keeping the useless bag in the garage, I called Egan while also eating my breakfast.

“Rett. How are you?” Egan asked in concern as soon as I picked the call.

“I am good. I found Templar.” I replied.

“I heard. Listen, are you aware that all the packs know she is the White Wolf?” he questioned.

“I am” I answered gravely.

“Oh! What are you going to do about it?” he probed.

“Nothing. Right now, Templar is heartbroken and she is my priority.” I mumbled softly. Taking a deep breath, I called, “Egan”

“Yes”

“We lost our child.”

There was a silence for few seconds before Egan cleared his throat. “I am sorry.”

“So am I” I said quietly.

“You didn’t know she was-”

“No” I said cutting him off. “No clue at all.”

“Yes, I know. You wouldn’t have come here if you had any idea” he said and cleared his throat. “I shouldn’t have called you here either.” He whispered bleakly. “When Templar needed you the most, you were not with her because of me. I just… I feel horrible.”

“Don’t” I muttered. “Not your fault.”

“No. I could have taken care of the work. You weren’t needed but Nicolaides insisted you be present and so I was forced to call you.” Egan growled out and muttered a curse.

Immediately, I stiffened and my wolf growled.  “What did you just say?” I asked gritting my teeth.

“I could have taken care of the work. Nicolaides, started creating tantrums about how he would not sign the contract if you were not present. I should have punched that bastard right then and there.”

“You should have” I yelled furiously. “You know, until now, even though I guessed this was a set up, I still had my doubts. Nevertheless, now I am sure this whole thing is a set up.” I spat.

“What whole thing?” Egan asked dumbly.

“Me coming to Greenrock. Rouges attacking, Alisha and Teresa’s death-” I paused and then continued, “Any news on enquires of Teresa’s death?”

“They need some time.”

“How much more?”

“Another week or so.” He replied sourly.

“Fine. Keep updating me about it and Egan; wring the truth out of that bastard.”

“Will do” with that said, he cut the call.                         

 Placing my hands on the table top, I started taking deep breaths to calm my wolf, who was pacing inside me.

A cruel smirk appeared on my face as I thought about the plan as much as I knew. A mastermind must have been behind it. So far, every single detail seemed planned because it is no fucking coincidence. I didn’t know to what extent this was a plan. I didn’t know if Jonathan was included in this plan as well. However, I was smirking because I found the first step of their plan, which was to take me away from Templar.

That was a good lead and from there, I will go step after step and find the master mind. I swear on Goddess, I will find the instigator.

I wanted a run. Since I didn’t want to leave Templar alone; I sat on the couch and decided to watch T.V to divert my mind. There was nothing good in that idiot box either and so, I shut it off. Just when I was about to exercise to let some steam off, my eyes dropped on Genessa’s book.

It was a very thick and old book. Curiously, I picked the book and opened it. The book was written in Greek. Thanks to my grandma, I knew Greek fluently. She used to talk to me only in Greek.

The first picture in the book was of a wolf, which had its neck craned up and howling, but from the picture, fire was coming out from its mouth.

Guessing this book contained information about Patricia, I sat on the couch and flipped the page. The next page had a drawing of moon Goddess, followed by different phases of moon. As I turned over there was a strange picture, which had the title- TRIPLE MOON GODDESS.

There were three drawing in the page. The first one was of a young and beautiful moon Goddess, sitting on a grass and holding moon flower in her hand. Behind her was a waxing moon. The second was the goddess having a pregnant belly. Behind her was the full moon. The third picture of Goddess had wrinkles and in it, she looked old. Behind her was the waning moon, actually it was just dark.

The first picture represented adolescent, second middle-age and third old-age.

The next page had a picture of Moon Goddess with a guard. It was mentioned that the guard’s name was Orion. I suppose that’s a constellation of stars?

Sighing, I turned the page and found pictures of eclipse. After around twenty page, there was some writing.

The first three chapters of the book only had information about regular werewolves. It was on the fourth chapter that there was information about White Wolf. According to the book, there were chances of a White Wolf being born even before Patricia but since they had no information about it, they considered Patricia the first White Wolf.

She was born on the day of Solar eclipse and that too exactly during the eight minutes darkness of total solar eclipse. Her mother died four days after her birth. She shifted at the age of six, when a wolf attacked the pack temple. Initially she was ridiculed for being ‘colorless.’

What the fuck does that mean?

But as she grew up, there was no one who could match her supremacy and strength. And at thirteen, she almost became invincible when she learned to control fire. She was said to be beautiful, friendly but also having a very nasty temper. That is something which is familiar in Templar too, I thought with a smirk.

There was a painting in the book of Patricia. According to the book, Patricia was and I quote- “An exceptional beauty.”  She had golden hair, pale blue eyes which would turn the color of fire whenever she was angry, and creamy skin. Many Alphas tried to woo her.

I stared at the picture of Patricia in the book. It was a black and white picture just like all others in the book. In the portrait, she had curly hair, was wearing a one-shoulder gown and in one hand, she was holding a fire torch.

In the next page, I read shocking information. It was stated that Patricia killed her own father.

But then again as I read further, I knew even I would have killed her father. He was a despicable man, who often tortured his pack members, by imprisoning them and refusing to give them food and drink.

She found her mate when she was seventeen. He was also son of a neighboring Alpha. According to some people, Patricia’s mate, Alexander was a star from the constellation of Orion. After they mated they combined packs. The Dark Shadows and Tranquil Pack after the merger came to be called- FireLight Pack. I was surprised on this part of information.

Another part that astonished me was that Patricia used to curse. She would defeat her enemy either by cursing them or by killing them.

There was information about an evil she fought against with. He was causing fights against packs. It was given that Patricia had forgiven him three times before finally killing him. Apparently, years later she killed his children too because they were about to follow their father’s path.

She had only one son and through him, her generation continued. But she also adopted three girls and brought them up as her own.

There was further information about her death. The book said- her soul left her body as soon as her mate died. She was sixty three years old by then. Wolves begged her not to leave them like that but she didn’t budge from her decision. Instead, Patricia made a promise that when someone truly calls her for help, she will come back.

I paused and read the line again. Will she really come back? But I don’t think we need her now. After all, Templar is a White Wolf just like Patricia.

The next chapter was about White Wolf and why is it different from ours. Apparently, they are created by energy extracted by moon Goddess. She stores this hot lively energy until it cools down and takes over a form of a fetus. It takes years for this process and then when the fetus is formed, she transfers this to a she-wolf, she deems preferable to be the mother of her child.

In present world, we call this as birth through surrogacy.

However even though the ‘God-child’, that’s how a white wolf is referred, is born to a she-wolf, they will never be known as the child of that she-wolf. I had to agree with this because no one actually knew or cared to ask about Templar’s mother. The she-wolf who gives birth to God-child is only a porter. In other words― a caretaker.

Here comes the interesting part, since the white wolf’s mother is a Goddess, they often ask help only with their mother. Their means of communication is through mediation. A state during which their soul departs from their body, to visit the other world.

I gasped as I recognized the concept of body different from soul or spirit here.

The process is long and takes complete focus. A normal wolf can do it too, however since the white wolf is the Goddess child, it is easier for them because they are personally connected. A white wolf often does meditation in isolation so that they are not disturbed.

Once the soul departs, their body is guarded by the Goddess herself, until it arrives.

This means, whenever Templar is meditating, she is literally dead to the world.

****

Hope you liked this :)

This chapter is a filler but with quite important information which you will understand clearly later in the story. If any doubts, don’t hesitate to ask :)

Next update will be on Vijaya Dashami i.e 4th October, where I will also be releasing the cover of Darya’s book… Woohoo!

Oh yeah! Who is excited to hear as well as watch Modi's speech on a rotating stage?? 

Please vote, comment and follow.

Love :-*