Those of you who are supporting thank you, but someone made a few comments....
I planned to post this as an announcement but I couldn't fit all the words...
So here:

"I'm considering some things now
...
I've been told it's a stage and maybe it is... But I don't care,my friend had a knife to herself and...
To be told it's just a stage? Yeah...
I think you know who you are.
And sorry if your offended by this, but if it was a stage, I don't need it.
My friend, my FIRST ACTUAL FRIEND, who I've known sense kindergarten, had a knife to herself because she's been through some shit...
She's not the only one, this is known....
But your right when you say it's selfish....
I've been treated differently by so many people from them being nice and welcoming to throwing rocks at me and nearly killing me.
I've been through shit,we all have, I'm sure...And I KNOW I'm selfish sometimes.
I even told myself, when I was thinking about suicide,"I don't care if I'm being self-ish......."
But that's a mean thought, right?
At the time I knew it was but I was in a dark place and if I was mean or not, I didn't feel anything but negativity.....
I gave myself a week before deciding to stay ALIVE or not....

When you really think about it...
Imagine seeing your friend die....
You could have done something.
You were there on the phone with them as they had a knife.....
You couldn't talk them out of it...
And now there dead.....
You stay awake, thinking to yourself...
You can to hear their voice on the phone again, but their gone, their parents don't pick up, because their grieving their child's death....
My friend could've been dead if I didn't pick up that phone call, and to say that's a stage..?
I understand you may think differently or think 'everyones Petty and self-ish',but..
What if I didn't pick up...?
This is life or dead matter....when it comes to this, I think those who know need more comfort or support than negativity...
Your childhood friend, knowing you more than your own parents, dead. You were on the phone talking to them, while they had that knife. If she died, her parents would be broken up and I
Nobody would understand me as well as her, Selfish or not......
I want you to imagine, how would you feel?
I have thoughts of my friend who's told me of suicidal thoughts,To wake up, back to school,that seat they sat in was empty.
And the halls we're quieter those days,because the girl who laughed at nothing, the girl who hugged you, your friend,was gone and to imagine her parents,they sit at the table, the third chair,now empty,the grandmom and mom sitting there as the father sits in his home alone with the girl's grandfather, but instead of an empty table, they won't just have nobody sitting there, but the girl's voice is not to be heard unless through memories,you'll never see the person again....
It's like their a imaginated. If it's a stage.....And my friend was to be dead?
Is that considered a act?"

That's all.....
You know who you are......

This doesn't go again at anyone else, I tried to stay calm as possible...

BUT, as an update, I'll be on and off occasionally, our school plans to send us homework online- QwQ

So I'll be more busy, maybe less busy, Idk
I'll probably pop up now and again, so... Well yeah....

Thank you all, and dear god, you people....... I never thought so many people are so nice until I joined... ❤️