Fili, Kili, and I sprint back to the camp as fast as we can.  When we arrive, everyone is just sitting around, doing nothing. 

"There are mountain trolls," I pant when we enter the farm house. 

"What?" Thorin demands, standing up. 

"Mountain trolls.  They snatched some of the horses and we sent Bilbo to get them back because he's small but he's--" Kili begins. 

"You sent the halfling to get the horses alone?  You let the horses get taken?" Thorin demands. 

"It wasn't their fault!  They were watching the whole time," I say. 

"Silence!" Thorin yells.  I squeak and take a step back.  He takes a deep breath and pinches the bridge of his nose. 

"I don't blame you.  I don't know what Mountain trolls are doing this far away from their cave.  Anyway,  that halfling is going to screw something up and we need to get there before he gets himself killed," Thorin says. 

"Thank you," Fili breathes. 

"Alright everyone, grab your weapons.  We're going to save the hobbit," Thorin orders.  Everyone grumbles as they stand and grab their gear.  I breathe a sigh of relief as everyone prepares to fight some trolls. 

As we reach the camp, we see Bilbo being hung upside down by his ankles.  I rush out, axe in hand and Fili and Kili by my side and slam one of the trolls in the leg, causing him to squeal and grab his leg.  I smack his foot, causing him to squeal again and fall over.

"Drop him!" Kili yells. 

"You what?" the troll holding Bilbo demands. 

"He said, drop him," I growl.  The troll growls back and tosses Bilbo, and Kili catches him.  The force knocks them both to the ground, and the other dwarves come running out into the clearing, yelling. 

Everyone starts stabbing and slashing at the troll's legs, causing them to shriek in pain. 

"Get the sacks!  Stick them in the sacks!" one troll yells.  The ponies start whinnying and neighing in distress, and I spot Bilbo sneaking towards them.  

I keep fighting and one of the trolls grabs me by the waist.  I smack his wrist with my axe, which causes him to drop me.  I see Ori get lifted up by the face and Thorin jumps up and slashes the troll's wrist, causing him to drop the dwarf. 

Out of the corner of my eye I see the ponies running free, which means that Bilbo was successful.  One of the trolls spots him and I try to call out, but I'm to late. 

"Come on, get up!" Kili yells to Ori, who was just thrown to the ground again. 

"Stop!" I yell.  Everyone stops fighting and looks up to see every one of Bilbo's limbs being held in the beefy hands of the trolls. 

"Bilbo!" Kili calls out, trying to run to him.  Thorin holds him back. 

"Don't." 

"Lay down your arms or we'll rip his off," the troll threatens.

Bilbo looks at us, pleading in his eyes.  Thorin sighs and stabs his sword into the ground.  Fili, Kili, and I all throw our weapons to the ground in frustration and the others reluctantly place theirs on the grass. 

Eventually, I'm in a brown, burlap sack.  I'm tossed onto the stack of dwarves, and my head ends up resting on Kili's chest. Honestly, this isn't how I wanted to die.  Being eaten by trolls was not my ideal situation.  Well, at least I'm one of the unfortunate dwarves that's tied to the spit above the fire. 

"Oh!  That's hot, that's hot, that's hot!" Nori yelps.  He's on the spit, of course, and the sparks are rising and burning through their clothing. 

"Don't bother cooking them," one of the trolls says.  "Let's just sit on them and squash them into jelly!" 

"They should be sautéed and grilled with a sprinkle of sage," another says.  He's the one turning the spit. 

"Is this really necessary?" Balin asks. 

"That does sound quite nice," a troll says. 

"Untie me, mister!" Bombur demands. 

"Eat someone your own size!" Gloin yells. 

"Never mind the seasoning!  We ain't got all night.  Dawn ain't far away.  Let's get a move on." another troll says.  "I don't fancy being turned to stone." 

"Wait!  You are making a terrible mistake!" Bilbo yells.

"What are you doing?" I whisper/yell.

"You can't reason with them!  They're half-wits!" Dori yells. 

"Half-wits?  What does that make us?!" Bofur replies. 

"I meant with the seasoning," Bilbo explains.  He stands up and hops closer to them. 

"What about the seasoning?" asks one of the three trolls.

"Well, have you smelt them?  You're gonna need something stronger than sage before you plate this lot up," Bilbo explains. 

"Traitor!" Bombur yells. 

"What do you know about cooking dwarf?" the troll asks. 

"Shut up!  Let the flurgaburburhobbit talk," the second troll asks. 

"The secret to cooking dwarf is..." Bilbo says.  He stutters a bit and I squirm. 

"Yes?  Come on.  Tell us the secret!" the troll demands. 

"It's, uh..." Bilbo continues to struggle.

"Come on!" 

"Yes, I'm telling you.  The secret is..." Bilbo begins.  All of us stare at him, waiting to hear what this magical secret it. "To skin them first!" 

"COME ON!" I yell. 

"What?  Skin us?!" Nori exclaims. 

"Tom, get me the filleting knife," the troll says. 

"I'll skin you, you little--!" Gloin yells. 

"That's messed up!" Fili yells from over the fire. 

"I won't forget that.  I won't forget it," Dwalin calls. 

"What a load of rubbish!" the third troll says.  "I've eaten plenty with their skins on.  Scarf them, I say, boots and all."

"He's right," Tom the troll says.  "Nothing wrong with a bit of raw dwarf!" 

Tom grabs Bombur from the pile and I attempt to kick his hand away, but fail miserably. 

"Nice and crunchy," Tom grins evilly. 

"Oh, not that one!  He's infected!" Bilbo yells.  I stare at him, finally figuring out what he's doing. 

He's wasting time.  It makes perfect sense.  If the light can turn them to stone, then we call get out alive. 

The third troll stares at Bilbo.  

"You what?" 

"Yeah, he's got worms in his... tubes!" Bilbo exclaims.  I have to applaud him on his improvisation skills. It's kept us alive this long. 

Tom freaks out and throws Bombur, who almost lands on my head.

"In fact, they all have.  They're infested with parasites!" Bilbo continues. "It's a terrible business.  I wouldn't risk it.  I really wouldn't." 

"Parasites?  Did he say parasites?" Oin asks.  Kili nods and I roll my eyes.  These guys haven't figured it out yet. 

"We don't have parasites.  You have parasites!" Kili yells.  If I could elbow him, I would. 

"What are you talking about, laddie?" Oin demands. 

I look over at Thorin, who's eyes have just widened in realization.  Finally, someone has caught on.  He looks at me and I nod rapidly.  Since his legs are right by Kili's arm, he kicks him.  Kili grunts and stares at his uncle, who gives him the same look I just gave Thorin. 

Kili and Oin look back at me and I nod. 

"I've got parasites as big as my arm," Oin says. 

"Mine are the biggest parasites.  I've got huge parasites!" Kili yells. 

"I've got parasites in my whole body!  Deadly parasites!" I yell. 

"I'm riddled!" Fili yells. 

"Yeah, I am too!" Nori yells. 

All the dwarves start yelling about their parasites and the trolls look really pissed off at Bilbo. 

"What would you have us do then?" demands the first troll.  "Let them all go?" 

"Well..." Bilbo begins. 

"You think I don't know what you're up to?  This little ferret is taking us for fools!" 

"Ferret?" Bilbo demands. 

"Fools?" Tom asks. 

Suddenly, the very familiar voice of Gandalf rings out through the forest. 

"The dawn will take you all!"