2 months later

Baekhyun pov

Looking around my bedroom in the CBX dorm as I sit on my bed I can't believe we will be heading to America in the morning . My cases are packed my medication is sorted along with a letter from my doctor Incase I get stopped in the airport. I am practically ready to go .

My phone buzzes on my bed beside me making me take it out to see the alarm going off . Turning it off I climb off my bed and look at myself in the full length mirror . All groups that SuperM members came from are meeting at the SM dinner and we where all ordered to be there with no questions asked. Which means I have to sit with everyone who knows my business of what happened not long ago.

I haven't moved back to the Exo dorm since my solo came out . I thought it be best to stay away. I haven't really spoken to Chanyeol as he seems to be in the studio alot and I've been busy with SuperM . We do see each other when we have to practice for our Exo concert but we just say hi and leave it at that . It's strange because he was the love of my life, the air in my lungs my everything now its all gone.

I cried for days after that night 2 months ago. I cried myself to sleep most nights wishing it was all a dream. I was sick for 3 weeks being so run down all I could do was rest. I eventually dragged myself to our concert practice and cried in the car on the way home. It's got easier I guess  but tonight I will see Chanyeol and Lucas in the same room and I have to admit I am so nervous all I can do is pray it doesn't kick off.
I'm better now and ready to do this thing for our company but I'm scared to be away from them all. I guess the one good thing is I will have Kai with me.

Grabbing my phone and checking myself out in the mirror one last time I smile seeing that my all black outfit with my pink hair looks good . Heading out of the dorm I take a deep breath and climb into my car getting myself ready to face tonight even with the butterflies in my stomach.

Arriving at the building where the dinner is being held I look around the car park and find a free spot next to Chanyeol's jeep . I pull in beside him and park my car before taking another deep breath. My hands are starting to sweat a little as my tummy gets even more butterflies. I climb out of the car and make my way inside the building. As I walk in further I bump into Mark coming out of the restroom

" Baekhyun, hey you look great are you looking forward to tomorrow?" He smiles as he walks beside me

" Yeah I'm rather nervous it's gonna be a long trip. Are you nervous?"

" Yeah, I 'm so nervous this is huge for us plus since I couldn't sleep lastnight Taeyong had me picking out his clothes with him for his suitcase" he rolls his eyes playfully as we reach the door to the dinner.

Taking a deep breath he opens the door as I step inside seeing them all here already drinking and talking in all different groups

" Baek" Suho rushes over to me hugging me.

" Hey Suho I'm fine please don't warn me off to be good tonight"

" Would I?" He mocks before smiling and linking my arm " sit beside me and all will be fine tonight"

Grabbing a glass of champagne that's being passed around I stand close to Suho and Chen just to be safe.

" Since everyone is here I would like to make this short and sweet best of luck to SuperM in America you guys are amazing. I will be with you all the way so don't be late for the flight also enjoy tonight and cheers to SuperM" our boss says with pride and I just hope it all works out because I did have my doubts in the beginning but it needs to be done.

" Baek are you sure you don't want to stay in the dorm or I can come to the CBX dorm and stay with you tonight and we can head to SM together before the airport" Kai says but to be honest I'm not really listening as my eyes are drawn to Chanyeol who is looking amazing tonight . He is dressed with Demi jeans and a suit jacket over a t-shirt with his hair up off his forehead . ' oh damn' I mumble to myself and just walk to the bathroom totally ignoring Kai.

" hi" Lucas say before passing me by coming out of the bathroom
I mutter a hi back and hurry into the bathroom hoping nobody will think we got up to something . "Damn it that's all I need right now" I do my business and wash my hands before I head back seeing everyone is taking a seat at the very large round table .

As ordered I sit between Suho and Chen as they sit and talk to the people on their other sides leaving me to look around the table. My eyes catch Lucas turning away from looking at me then my eyes stop on Chanyeol who is laughing and joking with Kai. It makes me smile seeing both of them so happy . They will miss each other so much when we are apart but if I know Kai like I think I do he will try ring his partner in crime Chanyeol when ever he can

I must be staring so long that Chanyeol catches me and just gives me a soft smiling making me smile back and turn away .

Dinner is finally over and the boss does the one thing I didn't want right now . He wanted a picture of SuperM together and who am I standing beside in our positions we are told to stand in only ...Lucas . I brace myself and head over to the area and get into my position beside Lucas and Ten . I can't help but look past the guy with the camera to see everyone just smiling at us even Chanyeol. Delighted nothing happened I finally get to step away as people now are heading home.

I hug all my members and give them a kiss on the cheek telling them I will be back soon . Some of them are crying, yes you guessed it Suho is. He hugs me tight as I look over his shoulder and see Chanyeol shaking hands with Lucas. My heart starts to pound really fast in my chest making me catch a breath

"See your gonna miss me I know you will" Suho says while hugging me tighter.

" Of course I will miss you, I will miss all of you so much " I wipe a tear seeing all my members except Chanyeol right now being proud of Kai and I.

I finally get to slip out and head to my car only to be scared out of my skin by Chanyeol who appears from behind his car making me jump .

" Shit you scared me half to death" I grab my chest and lean my forehead on my car door trying to catch my breath and slow my heart rate down .

" Sorry" he whispers with that soft voice that always makes me melt.

"It's ok" I stand straight again and turn to face him . He smells and looks so damn good I just want to jump him but that's all behind us now .

" Don't I get a hug and a kiss on the cheek like the others did ?" He smirks making me laugh a little and blush before looking down at my feet as the smiles fades away

" Please be safe Baekhyun and enjoy yourself in America"  he says making me want to look up at him but I can't . I can't see him now because I'm just holding it together and if I look up I'll sob.

" I will be ok, don't worry" I whisper still not looking up

" Look at me please Baekhyun" he uses that damn deep sexy voice as the tears finally fall down my cheek

" I can't" I whisper back trying to hide that I am crying

"Hey ... Look at me" he touches my chin and lifts my face up as I meet his eyes with mine

" Don't cry please" he uses his other hand to wipe my tears away as I close my eyes to his soft warm touch

" I need to go " I whisper as I pull myself free of his hold and turn to open the car door but he stops me and pushes my car door closed. My breath catches as this is what happened with myself and Lucas when he kissed me

" Don't go, not yet" he whispers again as I am still facing my car door with him behind me ever so close

" Chanyeol I have to " I wipe my check again as this time I feel his hand touch my elbow and the next thing I know is I am leaning my back against his car with him leaning over me

" Not yet please " he whispers again before leaning his forehead on mine making my tears roll down my cheeks more . I place my hands on his arms wanting to push him away but I can't something inside me wants this.

" Please be safe out there " he says while still leaning over me as I keep holding his arms that are either side of me touching the car

" I will " I tell him as he moves his forehead from mine but looks me deep into my eyes now. " Can I have a hug goodbye like the others"

" Chanyeol I ....." He stops me

" I know I don't deserve it but please just one " I nod my head yes as he stands back a little so I can move away from the car. I step closer to him and put my arms around his waist as he puts his around my shoulders and hugs me tight . We stay like that for a few minutes before I gently push him away.

" I got to go" I move past him and reach for my car door to open it as he now leans against his own car behind me looking all relaxed

" What no kiss?" I turns to see him with his playful smile across his face making me smile back
"I don't think that's a good idea do you?" I watch as he looks to the side before looking back " we are still friends right so a friendly one is ok.Sure you kissed all the Exo members inside " he smirks knowing he is winding me up

" Ok " I move and stand in front of him as he reaches out his hand to my waist and pulls me closer as I place my hands on his stomach and gently lean in kissing him on the cheek. His scent catches me making me close my eyes as my lips touch his fresh shaved cheek.

" Don't go now stay a little longer " he whispers close to my lips making me melt

" I'm sorry Chanyeol I need to sleep" I go to move away but he catches my wrist

" I will always love you Baekhyun that's the truth . I've been an asshole and prick and every other curse word out there and you know that . I want to tidy up one loose ends we never fixed and I shouldn't bring it up now but I need to. You asked me awhile ago if I thought you where a whore "

I try to pull away but he holds me tighter by my wrist

" I can't hear this now ,not now" I turn my face to the side and cover my mouth as tears fall

" The answer is no I don't think you are a whore or any other of the names I called you. I can't let you go to America without me being sorry for that"

" It's ok it's all over anyway " I pull my hand free and step backwards as he steps towards me " I love you always remember that" he moves some hair from my forehead making me wish things were different with us

" I know you do " I say with sobs

" Come here" he pulls me into his chest and I burst out crying as I gently hit his chest with my hand . " Why do this now Chanyeol"

" I know your going away to have a fresh start and I didn't want that hanging over either of us till you got back. I wanted to clear the air, Im sorry"

" Thank you. I guess there is nothing more to say other then I'll see you soon" I pull away again and he cups my cheek and kisses my forehead making me smile at his cuteness

" Go before I really don't let you leave " he smiles but I know him long enough that he is keeping his tears back as best he can

" I will call you all as soon as we arrive " I watch as he bites his lip holding his tears but they fail him and kiss his cheek

" Be safe" he sniffs as I get into my car with tears now falling down my cheeks as I click my belt on and start the car. Looking out the window before I drive off I see him hugging himself with tears in his eyes as I back out of then car parking spot. He waves as I wave back seeing Sehun join him placing his arms around Chanyeol's shoulder to comfort him.

I pull away and spot them both after moving in my rear view mirror Chanyeol has his hands in his hair watching me as if he was running after my car. I don't stop I just keep driving knowing I need to break way from this now before it gets worse.

Cbx dorm

Locking the door of the dorm I kick off my shoes and pull off my jacket throwing it on the sofa as I fall down onto the single seater and sob . I need my man so badly the one I had before all this SuperM stuff.

I snuggle myself on the sofa and am about to cover myself with a blanket when I hear the door knock

Wiping my face I move to open the door and as I open it there stands Lucas and Chanyeol

" What the hell?" I look in shock and all of a sudden I am sweating in places I shouldn't be from just opening the door

" Sorry but I needed to do this can we come in?" Chanyeol says as I just open the door and let them both step inside

" Look I know it's late and you both need to get some sleep but I wanted you both to know together that I know the deal with SM and how they ship people in groups and they kinda force it on us . So I said this to Lucas before and I'll say it to you both now in person. Do what you guys have to do. I know you are shipped the boss told me thinking we where still together and that I didn't know about the new ships. I don't mind what's needed to be done as I know we are over but I wanted to say it's ok. Lucas thanks for coming with me so I could tell you both in person. Both of you have an amazing time in America and make SM proud" he shakes Lucas hand then mine and leaves my dorm making me look at Lucas in shock

" That's weird " Lucas looks at me as I just shrug my shoulders. I am tired of it all now and I really want to sleep

" I'll go and I'll see you tomorrow at the airport we are ok right baekhyun ?" Lucas looks at me like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders . I want to ask him if he is ok but right now is not the time .

" Lucas I'm sorry but I want to you know we can't ever happen and the playfulness and flirting and all that ship crap in the group will only be for the cameras and fans nothing will come out of it so please respect that ok"

" I do Baekhyun and if I go to far smack me or tell me and I'll pull back ok?" He smiles that killer smile all the fans love making me smirk back

"Deal" I hold out my hand as he shakes it before leaving my dorm

I make my way over to the window and see Chanyeol's jeep still outside along with Lucas car it seems. I keep watching as Lucas leaves the building and climbs into his car and drives off. A few minutes have passed and Chanyeols jeep is still there making me wonder if he is in it or not . My questions are answered as the front lights come on and the engines starts and I watch as he drives off making me burst out crying as I watch his Jeep drive off into the distance.

Moving away from the window I decide to head to bed. Taking off all my clothes and leaving just my underwear on I snuggle into my bed covering myself with the fluffy duvet. Grabbing my phone I read through the messages from the members wishing me luck. I decide to check my insta to read what the fans all think and right away I see some people shipping me with Lucas over things that happened at some interviews.

Deep down I miss our fans making fanfics of Chanyeol and I how they do amazing art of us and some rather hot and steamy anime drawings of us that I have to admit I am proud of as they make me look good at least. Now that will change and there will be some of Lucas and I and deep down that is going to hurt me more then they will know . I may not be with Chanyeol but he still holds a special place in my heart and always will.

To be continued....

❤️C ❤️

Love