Chanyeol POV

Its morning and here I am laying in my bed looking at Baekhyuns pillow. Missing seeing his red cheeks when he just wakes and his cute messy hair. I used to run my fingers through his hair when I knew he was stirring awake. He would slowly open his eyes giving me the biggest smile before giving out if I kissed him because of his morning breath that never bothered me. We would cuddle and not let go for at least an hour or until one of the lads pounded on the door shouting at us to get ready.

Climbing out of my bed I know today is the day his solo comes out. He will be practicing his show with Chen also and I can't miss it no matter how much they tell me to stay away. I have caused all this over my selfishness and I need to put it back together somehow.

"Chanyeol you awake?" I open the door after hearing Kai at it.

"Yeah" I leave the door open and head to my wardrobe pulling out some clothes

"About lastnight?" Kai sits on my bed looking at me with such sorrowful eyes.

"Kai let's forget lastnight please we all said somethings and I'd rather forget what happened and just move on" I turn away from him as I grab my towel for a shower.

"Ok, I still love ya though" he smiles and leaves the room making me grateful he didn't scream or shout again. Kai never drags an argument out which I am grateful for and telling me he loves me is his way of saying sorry.

"I love you too" I shout out hoping he heard me as I head to the bathroom to have a shower and get ready to be there for baeks solo.

***
B

aekhyun Pov

"Chen I'm so nervous what if my fans don't like my solo?"

"Hey they love you and will love your song especially you rolling and doing all those dance moves with the hips mmmm" he teases me trying to do it as we both start to laugh.

"You will be amazing as always baek now come on let's go"  Chen passes me my bag as we head down to my car so I can get to the company building and do a small interview and then dress rehearsal for the show.

Arriving at the company I'm so nervous but yet excited as I know they will drop the song in 15 minutes time. My stomach feels like a washing machine. I really worked hard on this. I wanted it to be different from anything I have done with the other members.

Walking into a meeting room I smile seeing some of the team that helped me pick the song and design the album cover looking all excited at me. The boss of the company enters the room making his way over to me hugging me looking rather excited for me also.

"Right let's release the album" he says with everyone cheering as we all turn to look at the big screen on the wall starting to show my music video. I worked so hard for this that I can feel myself get emotional.

"This is amazing wow" Chen says squeezing my arm and not being able to take his eyes off the TV. Many others have joined in the room just to see the music video that the room is nearly full.

Its finally over and the views are soaring up from the love of my fans.

"Congratulations on your solo Baekhyun you make me so proud, you have come a long way. Now please go enjoy your success" the boss leaves the room as people start to hug me and congratulate me. Hugging Chen I spot my other members smiling and clapping for me since I didn't think they would be here Then I spot Chanyeol slip out the door.

Letting go of Chen I rush past everyone excusing myself as I leave the room.

"Chan"  I shout down the hallway towards him as I see him stop but not turn around.

"You came" I say with a softer tone making him turn to face me.

"No matter what is going on with us I will always be here to celebrate your success baek"

"Thank you, won't you stay?"  I walk a little closer slowly as he leans against the wall with his head down.

"You go enjoy, I know you have dress rehearsals soon" he keeps his eyes on the floor not looking up.

"I think Suho has something planned tonight at the dorm" I say with a smile knowing Suho always arranges something for us all when we achieve something we so badly wanted.

"Yeah you know our leader" Chanyeol laughs and finally looks at me. I really want to go and hug him seeing him in just his sweatpants and oversized hoodie that must be new because I surely would have robbed that by now.

"Are you going to be there?" I get a little closer and lean against the wall in front of him.

"I was going to stay away but my life would be more hell if I didn't show up" he looks back towards the room as we can hear the excitement still going on in the room.

"Un village" Chanyeol says looking me straight in the eyes as I feel a lump in my throat knowing it was where we had our first kiss in the place where lovers go.

"Yeah I just love it so much" I swallow hard just wanting him to hug me so badly.

"Me too, I'm sure it will be a massive hit" he moves away from the wall and stands in front of me "I want to hug you so much baek but I crossed a line with you"

"You can still hug me Chanyeol"

"Come here then" he holds out his hand as I look towards it forgetting everything he said to me that was so horrible these past few days

"You come here" I playfully smile as he steps closer again and we awkwardly hug. Feeling his warmth and strength wrapped around me is making me rather emotional. I take in a deep breath of his scent and close my eyes as he holds me for a few minutes.

"I best go" we both pull away as I quickly wipe a tear before he sees it.

"Thank you for being here" I watch as he smiles and walks down the hallway looking so sad before putting his hands into his hair. He is upset now I can tell by him doing that so I turn away and head back to the room letting out a little sob. Before I step into the room I turn to look back at him and he does the same we stay like that for a minute before he disappears into the lift.

"There you are come here" Kai pulls me closer into him hugging him tight as they all now join in. My heart breaks a little as I know the tallest with the longest arms is missing from our family hug.

"We have to head off for dress rehearsals and the interview so say goodbye" Chen passes me my bag as Suho takes me to the side in private.

"You know I always do something for you guys when you achieve something that's important to you. Tonight I have arranged drinks with just the members at the dorm for you, will you be there?" I cup Suho's cheek and give him a quick kiss on it. "Of course I will be there thank you Suho but I need to go now so I'll see you tonight" I hug him quickly as I feel my arm being tugged by Chen as he pulls me out of the room while I shout to everyone a thank you.

"I see you spoke with Chanyeol, how did it go?" he presses the button for the lift looking all excited at me. "He just said congratulations nothing much more then that" the lift arrives and we jump in.

"Really nothing else?" Chen looks at me as if I am hiding something which I am but he doesn't need to know my first solo song was about me and Chanyeol's firsts kiss and what happened before it. How Chanyeol knew I was nervous incase people saw us that he wanted to climb up the lamppost and turn off the light as the lyrics say. The only difference in my song is its about a girl for the song but in my heart it's about Chanyeol and he knows that.

"He just mentioned about Suho and the drinks tonight and how he was going to stay away but he lives there and it wouldn't be fair. He might have broken my heart but I do love him still and he is still part of us"

"He called you a whore baek that's wrong"Chen steps out of the lift as we make our way towards the practice room.

" I will follow you in a bit I just want to go to my car and have a private moment ok" I pass him my bag and hurry out the door to my car. Closing the door I'm grateful the windows are tinted as I burst out crying. I turn my song on in the car and blare it as I pull out into traffic and drive.

Sobbing as I drive missing Chanyeol knowing he should be here with me today of all days. I miss him so so much but its hard for me to take him back after what he did and said about me. I sing with tears to my song thinking of Chanyeol and I there at un village looking up at the moon before he touched my cheek softly as he put my hair behind my ear as we both leaned in for a magical kiss.

"Arghh" I scream out feeling so much better that I got all my emotions out. I turn my car back around and head back to the company to do my dress reharsal.

Later at the dorm

No pov

"How does that look?" Chanyeol climbs off the chair checking out the bunting he just hug up around the room for Baekhyuns private drinks.

"Everything looks great Chanyeol. I did say I would organise it for him" Suho watches knowing tonight Chanyeol wanted to pay for everything and he doesn't care if Suho gets the credit for it he just wants the night to be perfect for Baekhyun and to make it better he has ordered a shit load of food and drinks for everyone.

"I'm gonna go have a shower now" Chanyeol heads off leaving Suho alone as Sehun comes up behind him hugging him. "Do you think he will behave tonight especially with a few drinks?"

"I'm sure he won't ruin the night he has planned it all out and wants it to be perfect so he won't do anything to upset Baekhyun tonight I trust him"

"Ok baby, fancy a shower in your room together?" Sehun faces his lover now making Suho blush "I'll race you" he smiles running down the hallway and into his room with Sehun close on his heels.

Two hours later music is playing and food has just arrived as they wait for Baekhyun to arrive. "He is coming right?" Sehun whispers into Suhos ear as Suho whispers back "I bloody well hope so or Chanyeol will cause a scene"

Everyone waits as Baekhyun is only a few minutes late. Kai turns up the music a little and begins to dance with a drink making the others join in.

"Sorry I'm late" Baekhyun bursts in the door taking his shoes off before rushing towards everyone as they get excited that he is finally here.

"I couldn't start my car my manager had to jump start it for me so I'm sorry I'm a little late" he smiles at everyone as Suho passes out some champagne.

"I want to say congratulations to baek on 10k preorders for the album in such a sort time and millions of views online. To say I'm proud is an understatement. I just wanna wish you all the best with the album and can you sign mine after we cheers" Suho holds up his glass as they all cheers and take a sip.

Chanyeol keeps his eye on Baekhyun as they drink to the toast. He promised himself he wouldn't cause a scene tonight so he reaches for some food as everyone begins to tuck in as Kai and Sehun decide to do the rolling rolling part of Baeks song making the smaller giggle from the floor he is sitting on with a plate of food infront of him and a glass of champagne beside him.

Chanyeol laughs from the sofa at the pair on the makeshift dance floor while taking glances at Baekhyun now and again.

"Hello" Baekhyun gets up from the floor answering his phone while leaving the room. Chanyeol heads to get more food as Suho stays close to him. "You doing good?" Suho looks up as Chanyeol smiles "I'm behaving myself and it's fun, so yes" he nudges Suho playfully making the smaller smile.

"Who was that?" Kai shouts over the music as Baekhyun returns to the room.

"Just Taemin and the others from SuperM wanting to congratulate me. They are having their own party and got my new number from my manger so they could call me and wish me the best" Baekhyun looks towards Chanyeol hoping he is ok but Chanyeol hasn't reacted instead he is pouring out shots for everyone.

Suho let's out his held breath as he takes a shot from Chanyeol

"I would just like to say congratulations to you Baekhyun and I hope the album is a massive success like I know it can be so cheers" Chanyeol says making them all cheers and down their shots.

"Ok baek come show me the rolling part of your song" Kai drags him up and they turn his song on and start to dance.
Chanyeol watches nearly biting his bottom lip as how Baekhyun is moving his hips so sexy.

He slips out of the dorm and heads down to his car so he can avoid Baekhyun dancing like that. He remembers how it feels to hold Baekhyuns hips when they made love and seeing him rolling them now is a little painful for him.

He wants to drive off but he can't because he was drinking and the last thing he needs is to be arrested for drink driving. He lays back his head a little and closes his eyes to gather himself before he heads back up to the dorm.

"Chanyeol is gone" Chen whispers into Suhos ear making the older nod his head  as he also spotted that.

The door opens and Suho breaths a sigh of relief as Chanyeol slips back in and pours himself a drink before sitting down and smiling at what is going on.

***

The night is finally over and everyone is drunk or tipsey.

"Here you go" Suho passes a pillow and a blanket to Chanyeol.

"Thank you, now you head to bed ill clean this up. I'm not really tired just yet" Chanyeol starts to pick up the dishes and brings them into the kitchen and places them in the dishwasher.

"I can help Chanyeol" Suho says as he sways a little making Chanyeol smile and guide him down to his bedroom saying goodnight before returning to the kitchen. He has given up his bed to Baekhyun tonight so he doesn't have to get a Taxi home.

"Hi" Baekhyun appears in the sitting room as Chanyeol looks up carrying some glasses in his hand to the kitchen.

"Hi" Chanyeol replies as he places them in the dishwasher being delighted he doesn't have to hand wash them all.

"Thank you for letting me stay in your room" hearing Baekhyun say its his room and not theirs anymore hits his heart.

"You need a proper place to sleep I will be fine on the sofa" Chanyeol smiles before he turns on the dishwasher.

"Thank you though" Baekhyun stands in the doorway watching a nervous Chanyeol tidy up more.

"Your welcome" Chanyeol turns the kettle on for some water to make a cup of tea before he heads to sleep.

"What you making?" Baekhyun steps in closer grabbing another cup from the press.

"Just tea" Chanyeol grabs the milk and spoon placing them on the counter top as the kettle stops.

"Can I have some also please? " Baekhyun softly smiles as Chanyeol pours out the water into the two cups.

"Mmmm perfect" Baekhyun stirs his tea mixing the milk as Chanyeol does the same.

"Tonight was perfect thank you" Baekhyun says over the rim of his cup before taking a sip.

"Yeah Suho is great like that" Chanyeol leaves the kitchen and heads into the sitting room with Baekhyun following him turning off the light.

"I know you did all this for me I'm not stupid Chanyeol so thank you" Baekhyun smiles making Chanyeol playfully laugh knowing he got caught

"I'm glad you enjoyed it" the taller smiles making Baekhyun look away blushing.

Baekhyun wants to ask why Chanyeol went through all this effort for him if he was only calling him names a few hours ago but he knows its not the thing to ask now so he keeps his lips sealed.

"Well thank you for everything and I best say goodnight"  Baekhyun starts to leave the awkwardness of the sitting room before Chanyeol calls him.

"I loved the music video, you looked amazing in it" Chanyeol says with a heavy heart knowing if he and Baekhyun were still together now they would be cuddling in bed having a beautiful night together maybe even making love but no he has to sleep on the sofa with a wall between them tonight all because he wanted Baekhyun to not have to worry about him while he was in America.

"Thank you that means alot you saying that" Baekhyun let's out his emotions as a tear falls down his cheek.

Chanyeol lowers his head not wanting to see the love of his life cry. He stands up putting his cup down on the table and slowly walks towards the smaller.

"Why does it mean alot to you for me to say that?" Chanyeol keeps getting closer stopping in front of the smaller about a foot away.

"Because its you, and it's one of the nicest things you have said to me today after a horrible few days" Baekhyun looks up at him with tears falling down his cheeks as Chanyeol steps closer again.

"I'm so sorry baekhyun" Chanyeol closes the gap and grabs the smaller kissing him on the lips.

"No stop it" Baekhyun pulls away more upset. "You can't kiss me not after what you said and a sorry won't fix this Chanyeol it's too easy of a word to be passed around" Baekhyun wipes his face in anger at himself.

"I know nothing will fix this. I just have to live with it being the biggest mistake of my life. I best go to sleep goodnight Baekhyun" Chanyeol moves to the sofa and puts down the blanket before pulling off his top. Baekhyun watches wanting to just go over there and kiss his naked back like he used to but he holds back and knows this is for the best he needs to look after himself. He knows what he did on Chanyeol was unforgettable so he guesses they are just as both to blame. Watching Chanyeol lay down he keeps watching as the taller holds his tears back waiting for the smaller to leave so he can let them go.

"Goodnight"

"Goodnight baek" Chanyeol snuggles down as Baekhyun turns off the light leaving the taller in complete darkness as he heads to his old bedroom.

Closing the door he covers his mouth crying not wanting to let the rest hear him crying. Stripping off his clothes he climbs into the bed hugging his old pillow. He feels so broken inside and misses his giant especially at night.

Closing his eyes he finally drifts off to sleep while in the other room Chanyeol is standing up not being able to sleep as he sips a glass of whiskey looking out at the rain bashing the city. Horrible ideas pop into his head about Baekhyun being gone for good and he can't stand it but he needs to realise that he already lost everything and all he can do now is just watch from the sidelines and try get on with his own life.

To be continued....

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