Waking up to a slap across the face I look to see Sehun moving around the bed. I push him off the bed before I rub my face as he hits the floor with a thud. "Hey what was that for?" He moans looking at me from the floor as I rub my face. "You slapped my face with all your wiggling around, how the hell does Suho put up with you?". I climb out of bed and reach my hand down to help him up. "Sorry I hit you in my sleep" Sehun pouts "Sorry I pushed you off the bed" I head to the bathroom to do my morning routine before I get myself washed and dressed.

I miss Chanyeol. He usually joins me in the shower to save water as he calls it but I know it's just to be with me naked. Smiling to myself I open up his wardrobe and pull out one of his hoodies that I will wear this morning. I promised Lucas that I would meet him for a coffee this morning so since I don't break a promise I quickly send him a message that I will meet him at the café instead of him picking me up. I quickly get dressed and leave.

***

Arriving at the café Lucas is already here smiling with a huge smile and waving as he leans against his car. I am a little nervous about it just being us but our manager has told us we need to get comfortable with each of our members so we don't look awkward when doing press interviews. I guess this morning is time for me to get to know Lucas.

"Hey hyung" he keeps smiling as he opens the car door for me. "Morning" I return the smile getting out of the car as he closes my car door. "Let's get some coffee" he rushes ahead and opens the door of the café for me and I have to say I am getting really embarrassed now with all this opening and closing doors. "You go sit, I will get our orders" he makes his way to the counter after I tell him what I would like before I head to find us a seat. While I wait for him my phone beeps in my pocket so taking it out Suho's name appears on the screen. Clicking the message open it reads

Hope your feeling a bit better today and Baek do me a favour, don't do anything stupid

"Here we go" Lucas returns with our order while I put my phone away. This is what Suho meant: he thinks I may do something with Lucas and break Chanyeol's heart because of last night. I can't believe he would think that, I have known him all my life nearly.

"Baekhyun are you OK? Lucas reaches across the table touching my hand showing me comfort. I take my coffee and start to drink it just to break the touch between us." I'm OK, just tired from everything going on" I look back at him as he keeps smiling that huge smile.

"You have a really cheeky smile, do you know that?" I watch as he blushed like crazy while trying to hide his smile behind his hand. His hands are huge, also making me wonder if anything else is as big. Wait what the hell, I can't think like this about him. I have a boyfriend or do I still, I don't bloody know as Chanyeol seems to be blowing hot and cold with me these past few months. "My mum says my smile will get me into trouble one day, I guess that day hasn't arrived yet" he smiles again giving me a wink and right now I know I'm melting into the damn chair.

"So tell me how is the album going?" I'm glad he changed the subject it will certainly get my mind from drifting and thinking of inappropriate things. "It's going really well my fans are excited about it being released. The company are due to drop some teasers soon. It be nice to see how the fans react to the teasers" I sip my coffee trying to calm myself because he is looking at me like he is going to eat me any minute now. "How did the others in your group take the news of you joining SuperM?" I watch as he looks around then back down at his hands playing with the cup which by the way looks tiny in his hands. "Not happy, they feel a little let down but I guess we are use to it being in NCT. Who knows, next week there could be a band called NCT Abc for all I know" he begins to laugh making me smile that he is right there are a lot of them.

"Baek I really do like you" he blurts out making me really feel uncomfortable now. "I have liked you since my trainee days and I needed to tell you as it's been playing over and over in my mind. You are going through a lot right now and I want to be there for you. When we go to America I can take care of you that way if you are feeling low I can be the one that will comfort you". Inside I am beginning to get emotional and I'm trying too hard not to show it. "Please Baek, even right now I want to give you a hug as I know you need it don't you?" I look up at his eyes trying to hold back my tears. "You have so much going on right now and are trying to keep it together and I think you need someone that will grab you and hold you so you can let it all out and have a good cry" a tear starts to roll down my cheek as I quickly get up from the table and rush towards the café door.

 "Baek wait" I hear him shout after me as I try to get my keys into the car to open the door but I'm a trembling mess right now. "Baek turn around" I feel him so close to my back as I face my car door. He places his hand on my shoulder making me feel the warmth through my top as I close my eyes. "Face me Baek'' he moves his arm to make me face him and my body fails me and turns me around making me lean against the car door breathing heavily with nerves. "Hey talk to me" he hands me a tissue so I can wipe my eyes and for some reason I feel tiny all of a sudden like I have no control of my body and that is not a good thing right now. "I just want to go Lucas, I'm sorry" I try to move away from the car but it's like my body doesn't want to. "I know your going through so much with your band and this new band, your solo and your clothing line and I'm sorry I've told you I like you but I needed to get it off my chest and to let you know how I feel" he moves closer to me so he is really close. "Lucas I....." I can't finish my sentence as he reaches his large hand up and cups my cheek making me feel his warmth which is so comforting right now that it's making me cry. "Baek give in to me" he moves closer and I let him as I feel like my life is being sucked out of my body. "Lucas..." I struggle again with the words as he smirks and leans in touching his lips with mine making me close my eyes and nearly slide down the car door from his gentle touch.

The next second is like my soul has jumped back into my body and I have this burst of adrenaline. "No Lucas" I push him away as I touch my lips. "This can't happen I'm sorry" I open my car door and climb inside starting the engine. I look at him one more time before I drive off clicking my seat belt on. " No No No , Baek you fucking idiot " I scream at myself in the car as I drive.

My in car phone rings. Pressing the button on my phone I see it's the boss himself so I quickly I answer it 

"Hello"

"Baekhyun the meeting is cancelled so  can you drop by the studio alone, I have a new part in the song I need you to go over "

"Of course sir I will be on my way now"   

"Ok Baekhyun see you soon"

The line goes dead as I burst out crying. Trying to control my car I pull over to the side of the road and let my tears out. Sobbing like a baby I grab my phone and look through my picture gallery seeing all the pictures of Chanyeol and I being so happy. I've just ruined everything my world is crashing down around me. Throwing it on the seat beside me I cry out more screaming in rage as so much is going on in my life now that I can't cope anymore. Being an idol is something I don't want to be anymore. Grabbing my phone again I ring back my boss.

"Hi Baekhyun, is everything ok?"

"I'm sorry sir I want out. I can't do this anymore" I hang up the phone and begin to sob again as I lean my head on the steering wheel and let my tears flow.

to be continued ... 

❤️C ❤️

Poor baek, looks like his life is a little messed up right now. I think us being fans don't realise just how much our idols have to put up with

Thank you for the 10k read on this your all so amazing

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