*Past*

"What happened?", Shyna asks in a low and shaky voice noticing my furious face.

"God, forgive me for what I sin!", Shyna prayed before cursing Tom.

"That motherfucker arranged a party at his home tonight saying that it's your birthday party as well as your recovery party", she hit me with the news.

I heard it and was processing from what I read. I was not restraining my fist or cursing him, I was just still. I felt like I'm paralyzed or something. He used my most vulnerable state, my most vulnerable feeling against me.

"Hey, you alright", Naina gave me a bottle of water and sat beside me.

I didn't notice when she came. She started patting my back, she knows too. When she was patting my back, I came to my senses and looked at the bottle and then at the people standing around. I threw the bottle away. I finally came to my senses and I'm going to show him the worst side of me.

"T.E.L.L ME W.H.E.R.E I.S. H.E.?'', I ask through my teeth, clenching my fist.

Naina knew that it would not end up well for her if she would try to calm me down. She didn't say anything. Aleister and Brace came running in and by seeing the fury on my face, they knew that someone is going to be dead.

"He's in guy's locker room", Aleister informed pointing towards the field. It means they know about this. Of course, till now everyone knows about this. My friends knew that it would all be in vain if they even tried to stop me so they sat there on benches as I stormed out, walking towards my host. On the way, I filled water in my bottle and added glitter and wine in it from the bucket that was left in the washroom as it was.

I stormed into the locker room ignoring the fact that girls were not allowed in there and ignoring half and some full naked guys. I walked directly towards him and luckily, he was in his pants, though he was shirtless. He just looked so sexy, but I was too angry to check him out. He didn't know that I came in.

"Hey Stanley", I went there, I was so mad at him that I ignored the guys commenting on me. When I reached there his gang was laughing at seeing my mess. Tom turned towards me and I made sure that he was facing me before I threw the water out of my bottle at him.

"What the fuck, Meow?" he jumped a little, and before he can say anything, I pointed a finger at him and said,

"I thought I'd thank you for everything you did for my birthday?", I was trying to hold my tears back so hard that the lump in my throat made my voice crack. I'm going to give him a piece of my mind,

"You used my most vulnerable state to get me and congrats you got me exactly where you wanted. You got my exact weak point", Tears rolled down my cheeks and it's the end of my patience. I hate that stage when anger gets converted into tears. He was just watching me, his face was blank. I was searching for any sign of regret on his face but all I can find was a blank face.

"You, looking at this? It's because of you and this didn't even hurt me a penny but when I read that shitty article, I don't know why but I was heartbroken because...", I lost my patience and was about to give up and tell them about my past tumor but I hold onto.

"When you said you would be friends with me, I was relieved. I was going to apologize for what I did yesterday, in front of campus, so that you won't lose your reputation. I was feeling a little guilty too, but what you did was so low. Now, I think that you deserve much worse than this. I don't know how your mother must be tolerating you oh no, how, she must be a bitch to give birth to a son like you", Now I'm satisfied as this last sentence had a huge impact on him. He started this game and I'm ending it here. He's angry, but I won't be giving him any chance to speak anything right now, or else we will end up wrestling,

"I never meant to start it all. It's in your nature only, your looks and your skills have made you arrogant. Do you think that you can mess with anyone because you feel like a king? You are shit. You know what, I'm so stupid that I fell for you. But now, I HATE YOU TOM. I FUCKING HATE YOU.", my voice is betraying me. I don't want him to win this,

"And I'm sorry for punching and kicking you. I'll give you something else to remember this stupid thing you have done, so at least you won't be able to brag about it", before he can say anything, I slapped him. I slapped him in the middle of the locker room. In this screaming thing, I ignored the audience I've got watching over. Due to my loud voice, almost half of campus was on the door of the locker room.

"For the party, tonight get yourself a fancy suit and fuck yourself. From the bottom of my heart, FUCK YOU STANLEY", without turning back, I stormed out of the locker room. When I was leaving that room, some guys were making aww sounds, I showed a middle finger to them while storming outside.

I didn't look back and went straight outside the gate of the school. I don't fucking care if teachers suspend me or scold me, I just can't stay in school today. Luckily, the coach wasn't there or God knows what would have happened? Who thought that my school life after shifting would become like this? I took the bus and went home. It's already 12:30 pm. Thank God my mom and dad are at work. Dad would be busy in his office and mom would be busy at the Cafe making shakes. I went to the bathroom, left my bag on the couch, and started crying. How can he be such........ After all these.......... I won't forgive him. I........... am so stupid. I can't sit crying here and thinking about him, I need to do something to forget him or till tomorrow, I'll end up crying only. Thanks for ruining my eighteenth birthday Stanley. Fuck you!

After washing off my tears and applying some makeup, I went to a bar- 'Lounge Fire'. It's already 5:49 pm, God I wasted my hours crying and thinking. I haven't seen the texts and voicemails that my friends sent me. I just wanted to clear my head. I took a cab and headed straight to the bar.

****

"Jennie, what you thinking?", Naina asked. We were on our way back home from the party and after he asked me to join him for these holidays, I can't believe how things changed between us. I was thinking about how he made my birthday horrible but now he's being nice to me and all this only because of this tattoo?

"About how night changes so fast", I say giving her a little smile.

"Can you be more specific instead of being Shakespeare?", she said with sarcasm.

"And to the night I refer her, thy my friend be a fool, Amen. Ok, I'm done", as I said this she made, 'What the fuck', face and started laughing.

"I don't know what I said just now, I just wanted to sound fancy", I said.

"You are already luxurious my love", she says pulling my cheeks.

"And we reach your destination. That would be five hundred dollars. How would you like to pay? Credit card or cash?", she cracked her usual joke.

"I'd like to pay by the method of transferring money from my head to your account", I say making a thinking face.

"Just get out of my car", she says with a straight face.

"Text me when you reach home", she showed an okay sign and drove off.

Today was a great day, now all I need is my parents permission which I'll get as I've my mom. Thinking about all the little moments I spent with him I didn't realize when I started smiling. I closed the door behind me and was looking at my wrist tattoo. This is the only reason he's being nice to me. I was smiling till I saw my parents uneasy face.

"You guys still up?", I asked.

"We need to talk", dad said with a lower voice which was showing a hint of sadness.

It took me 5 seconds to get the hint. My reports....

Dad was hiding his tears and mom was sobbing. I predicted what is in the report. Without saying anything, I went to the kitchen, opening the refrigerator I took out water and started drinking it. Feels like, as I started living, God wants me back. I was feeling mixed emotions. Should I cry? I asked my subconscious but didn't get any reply, seems like it's already dead.

"Jennie--", my dad called out for me.

As I gulped down the water, these words came out of my mouth, "How much time do I have?",

"Twelve to eighteen months", dad said.

After he said this, there was silence. As I realized that my days are numbered, my intensity to live life increased. Is there anything I can do? I still believe that whatever happens, happens for a reason but this principle, should I still stick with it?

My brain was silent. This was the moment when I felt I was having an anxiety attack. The worst thing about an anxiety attack is that you know it's irrational, you know you want to stop it but you lost control over your mind.
And that is when I started fearing and tears started rolling down my cheeks.

"Jennie", hearing my mom's weak voice calling out for me, I tried to come back but I couldn't until my mom hugged me. Holding her tightly, I started sobbing, the things I am feeling right now are unexplainable but I know that it aids nothing whatsoever.

After crying I felt good, I know crying won't solve my problems but it's just that I tried so hard to be strong and in end, my eyes spoke for me. Breaking the hug, I gave my parents a weak smile.

"If I've got a year then I'll be spending it wisely. Can you both help me make a list like you did last time?", I ask them.

They looked at each other. Wiping her tears, my mom cupped my cheeks in her warm palm and said, "Sure darling",

She stood up and took out pen and paper from the drawer. When I was thirteen I'd the first stroke of the tumor, we thought that I'd die so I started making a list of things I wanted to do and my parents fulfilled all of my wishes from scuba diving to attending the BTS concert. Now the moment is repeating.

"So?", she asks me. I took the pen and paper from her hand and started writing.

1. To spend the time I have as a normal teenager.

2. Spend these holidays in Hawaii.

"I'll book tickets for the next flight", my dad said as he read this second wish.

"No, I'm going with my friends", I inform them.

"But Jennie--", dad was going to say something but mom interrupted him and said, "You can go",

"So what's the third thing in your to-do list? BTS concert?", mom asked. The thing I love most about her is that she knows what I exactly want. Even though she might be hurting from inside, she's trying her best not to show it.

"We went last time. I don't think it's possible this year", I said.

3. Get a boyfriend.

"Excuse me?", my dad interrupted my thinking.

"What? Let the girl enjoy her life. Write the fourth wish as to have sex", mom suggests.

"MOM!!!", I screamed at her and that made my dad laugh.

"Believe me you virgin teenager, you will love it", she said winking at me.

"Alright, that's it. Mom stops giving ideas. Daughter stop taking ideas from mom", dad says showing his protective side, which made us laugh.

I'm learning to enjoy little moments. I want to capture these moments in the time capsule and take it with me.

"Oh I've got an idea, you can make friendship bracelets. You always wanted to", dad suggested.

4. Make friendship bracelets

5. Wish on a shooting star

6. Star Gaze

"Now it's last", it's my thing of writing seven to-do things in my list as seven is my favorite number. I thought for a while and ended up writing,

7. To have sex

"Don't say anything, it's my wish", I instructed my dad before he can say anything.

"Alright guys, I'm going to sleep now", saying this, I hugged them both and went to my room.

Maybe death will be my next adventure. Am I ready? All I know is that I don't want to have any regrets in my last moment.

****