So the other day I brought pizza for lunch because pizza is great

And it was a very large slice of pizza and lots of people kept asking what it was.

Usually I don't mind this, but somebody did something unacceptable.

As they were asking what it was, they TOUCHED my pizza.

YOU DO NOT TOUCH MY PIZZA

THAT IS NOT ALLOWED IT IS MY PRECIOUS BOOTYFUL SLICE OF PIZZA U GOT UR GERMS ON

so if any of u touch other people's pizza while they're eating it and have no friends, that IS why. No doubt.

Now please enjoy this funny vid that has nothing to do with this rant.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]