Chapter 29: What Ifs and I'm Scared
Jude was now eight months pregnant and in still in her third trimester as she looked forward to having her babies as she took it easy and rested.
She decided to only go to the bookstore when Vivien or the girls needed her there. Kit wanted her to rest and stay off her feet especially since the babies were almost here.
Jude was resting on the couch as Kit opened the door to smell something cooking as he knew Jude would not rest to let him cook, which he always told her he would to give her a break.
"Babe, I'm home." Kit walked into the kitchen to see her rolling out pie dough.
"Hi darling. Dinner is almost ready and I have a treat for you." Jude said as he kissed her.
"Coming home to you babe is always a treat. Being with Roy all day is not exactly fun."
"I thought you two did not mind each other?"
"We do, but when he starts talking about Jane over and over again, it gets old."
"Honey, Jane is the same way about him, but I have to listen to it because I'm her boss/go-to person."
"I know, but let's not talk about them." Kit said as he kissed Jude again, but this time, backing her up against the counter top as his lips traveled down to her neck to her collarbone.
"Hmm..." Jude moaned as she smelled the stench of gas on him.
"How were our two angels today?"
"Wonderful. Josiah decided to kick my ribs and Kennedy is making sure I have to use the bathroom more than two times, so you can imagine how our babies will be next month."
"I know! I can't wait to meet and kiss their heads."
"Honey?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you scared?" Jude asked as Kit was behind her for support.
"I am, but I have been so ready to have our babies to hold and carry."
"I'm scared." Jude admitted as Kit held her by her belly in his arms as she swayed easily in them.
"I know and I am going to be beside you the whole time. I'm not going anywhere baby."
"I know you're not and I know you will, but giving birth to our children is going to be a scary experience and I'm not an expert." Jude said as she kissed him.
"You're not an expert on giving birth, but you are on other things."
"Like what?" Jude whispered in his ear.
They say down to dinner that night and talked about what they did, how things were going to change after the babies were born and just the main details of what they always talked about.
"Tomorrow, we have our doctors appointment to see how Josiah and Kennedy are, plus to discuss our birth plan." Jude said as she looked at the calendar she had for upcoming events and daily rituals as Kit smiled.
"I know. My calendar is marked "I'm off" and "Decision day", so I'm all yours tomorrow."
"Good, now let's go upstairs and get ready for bed."
"Okay."
Kit washed the dishes and straightened up the kitchen while Jude did the living room as they walked hand in hand upstairs as she laid in his arms and fell asleep after they kissed each other good night.
The next morning, Jude woke up first to feel Josiah and Kennedy moving around as her stomach stretched out.
She turned over to see that Kit was smiling in his sleep as she stared at him.
"Honey?" Jude smiled as she caressed his chest and stomach.
"Hmm..." Kit moaned as Jude kissed his nose.
"I'm going to take a shower." Jude said as she leaned up to get up, but found it extremely difficult to actually do it.
"Kit?"
"Yes?"
"Come help me." Jude said as he laughed.
"And don't laugh at me or no sex till we have our babies."
"Last time you said that, it only lasted two days."
"Well now, I mean it. I'm eight months pregnant and it is extremely difficult for me to get up or do anything. Honey, please help me up or I will cut you off!" Jude fired her voice off as Kit came to help her.
"It's alright baby."
"Not when you're carrying two little ones who are demanding to be free in about a month."
"Seems to me like they are more than ready now."
"I know."
Jude was off to shower as Kit went downstairs to make breakfast for them.
Jude showered and dressed as as she felt a Braxton Hicks contraction hit her as she leaned onto the sink and swayed back and forth.
"You two are rambunctious today, aren't you, my angels?"
Jude said as Kit seen her looking at her stomach, to see stretch marks and her belly button poking out.
"My stomach is going to look worse when my stomach goes down." Jude said as Kit smiled and she felt self-conscious.
"Birth is a beautiful thing sweetheart and your belly has been our babies home for almost nine months." Kit said as he kissed her lips and rubbed her stomach.
"I know, but we have five more weeks till they will be officially in our arms to hold."
"I know. Are we still sticking to naturally letting them come on their own?"
"Maybe, let's see what our doctor says today."
"Okay honey."
"Now, let's go have a bite to eat before we leave."
"I'll be right down. I need to call Vivien to open up before I come in."
"Are you sure you want to go in?"
"Kit, I love you and I know you worry about me, but darling, I can't stay in the house all day. I get so bored and I sit down all the time when I'm not busy." Jude said.
"I'm just worried you'll go into labor and I won't be there in time to get you."
"I love you baby, but you worry too much. The girls have me in their complete and utter care and they know to call you when or if something happens." Jude said as she went over to the phone on her nightstand.
She called Vivien to tell her she would be at the library later on after her doctors appointment as she hung up the phone and made her way downstairs to see Kit plating their food.
"I called Vivien to tell her I will be at the library after our appointment."
"Okay."
"Honey, I still want to work until at least a week before the babies are born."
"Jude, what if you go into labor?"
"Honey, I make enough for both of us to live on."
"I know that, but it takes two incomes to make a household work."
"I want you to rest and I can't shake off this feeling that you will go into labor and I'm not there."
"I'm going to be fine baby. Now, let's go so we can see how our little Josiah and Kennedy are."
Kit and Jude made it to their doctors appointment as they sat there, filling out paperwork as Jude felt some extremely hard kicks from both babies.
"Kit darling, put your hands right here." Jude said as she guided his hands on her belly as Josiah and Kennedy started moving around again.
"They seem excited today."
"When we get home, I will need to lie down."
"I am staying with you at the library."
"Are you sure?"
"Yep."
"Okay."
"Judy Walker?"
"Let's go!"
Kit helped Jude up as they made their way to their way to the examination room.
"Alright, let's see how much you weigh."
"I hate this part."
"I know baby." Kit said as another Braxton Hicks contraction hit her in her lower abdomen.
"Goodness babies, y'all must be in a hurry."
"Just like mommy and daddy."
"Certainly."
Jude laid down on the exam table as the nurse pressed around certain areas.
"Your babies are measuring right on schedule."
"Have you decided on a vaginal birth or c-section?"
"Vaginal or would I have to have a c-section?"
"If your babies are breach or decide to turn while delivering. Also, if they come early, which at this point, they may decide to come early."
"So, I can have a natural birth?"
"What about your epidural?"
"Oh yes, please add that." Kit said as Jude glared at him.
"Most women decide to do an at-home birth, but having twins at home is not a recommendation."
"Women have had babies at home with triplets before for hundreds of years, but I don't think I could do at an at-home birth. I don't have a midwife and I really want that epidural." Jude leaned back to settle one hand on her stomach.
"Now, since you're in your third trimester and eight months pregnant, I recommend staying off your feet, eating more healthy things like fruits and veggies, especially things with lots of iron and potassium. Also, sex is a great way to help you have a faster postpartum recovery and keep your blood pressure to a great measure." Their doctor said as they all looked at each other.
"I know and I will do what is recommended doctor." Jude said as Kit looked at her.
"And I will make sure of it." Kit said.
"Because now comes the time where you'll experience heavy Braxton Hicks contractions, extreme back cramps and if anything does not seem normal from what you have read or heard from me or anyone else, you call me. These next few weeks will be tough, but just think, you're about to be parents to two precious little angels." Their doctor said as Jude nodded.
"Yes, I know and I can't wait. I know the pain will be worth it."
"The pain is temporary, but these babies are worth every minute of it." Jude smiled at her words.
"Are there any questions?"
"Nope."
"Then you're free to go and Mr. Walker, make sure Jude relaxes and don't lift nothing heavier than a milk carton, that will increase your cervix to dilate and water to break early and you'll have to have a c-section." Their doctor said as Jude knew Kit was happy to hear her words, but it was for her and the babies safety.
They left the doctor's office as they drove for about five minutes into the long silence.
"I was thinking we could have that baby moon before the babies come." Jude said as Kit looked at her and smiled.
"I would like that. Any recommendations?"
"Yes, our cabin."
"Love cabin it is. When would you like to leave?"
"I was thinking when you got off from work Friday. It will be awhile before we will be together alone again. You truly have erased my fear of being alone." Jude said as she smiled at him as she leaned her head on his shoulder.
"I love you sweetheart." Kit said as he kissed her head.
"I love you more baby." Jude said as Kit smiled.
"We could play that game of who loves each other more because not even all the books or flowers in the world could tell you how much I love you, but just so you know, I love you so much baby." Kit said as Jude started kissing him and his neck.
They arrived home as Jude sat in his lap on the porch swing as she loved when he talked to the babies.
"We can't wait to see who you'll look like and who you take after."
"I already picture Josiah and his little expressions of how he'll marvel your handsome features and his eyes will be the brown ombres of yours." Jude said as Kit felt both Josiah and Kennedy kick.
"I can see Kennedy having your perfect, infectious smile with your little blonde curls and hazel eyes with the light shine to them. She'll be the prettiest little lady in Boston while I have the most beautiful grand lady of them all right here in my arms." Kit said as Jude smiled.
"Is there anything you want in particular to eat?"
"How about spaghetti?"
''Sounds wonderful."
"Go relax and I will make it."
"Don't burn our house down, please?"
"I won't."
"Hmm... I don't believe you."
"Let Chef Walker cook up his magical touch."
"That sounds like bedroom talk."
"Yeah, I have two kinds of magical touches. One in the kitchen and one in the bedroom."
"What sides are you fixing?"
"A salad and rolls."
"Don't forget we have that potato casserole that Vivien made in the fridge."
"Yes I know, but maybe you could make that delicious red velvet cake of yours after?"
"Depends on if Josiah and Kennedy aren't too full from dinner."
"Okay." Kit said as Jude kissed him.
He made dinner as they sat down to eat and conversate.
"Even with the doctor erasing some of my fear. I'm still somewhat scared of giving birth and there are a lot of what it's in a situation."
"I know, but everything will be okay and you're in good hands. Me and Vivien will be there to help you in every way."
"I know and thank you for always being my protector."
"I will always be there for you, no matter the circumstance."
"You wanna know something?" Jude said as she straddled him.
"Anything."
"You hung the moon for me."
"You also hung the moon for me as well. I never thought that I would be a dad or even a husband. I don't want to bring up the past because I don't want to hurt you."
"You won't."
"When Alma and I got married, we could not tell anyone that we did, because it was not right then for two people of a different race to get married. I thought to myself one time, "Will I ever get the chance to say I married the most beautiful woman or have my own children." I was always afraid of someone or something ruining it. Jude, you came into my life at the lowest it had ever been and completely put it all back together." Kit said as Jude wiped tears from her eyes.
"But what I did was wrong. I hurt the ones I was supposed to protect. I once fell in love with a man who went after his own ambition and left me alone to rot and die. I didn't know what to expect when you brought me home or any of it really." Kit wiped her tears as he hugged her as he knew that he should not say anything.
"I know Timothy was blackmailed, but I used to see this man who held all my dreams and life in both hands. What if I would have went on to be with him?" Jude asked as Kit played with his wedding band.
"Then, I would not be here and you would have your life the way it was always meant to be." Kit said as Jude knew he was uneasy about it.
"But darling, I'm here with you." Jude said as something inside Kit snapped as he threw one of their wedding china plates at the wall.
"If you love him so much then leave Jude. I will NEVER get over how much he infuriates me! He might have been blackmailed, but dammit, he left you there! I... could not tell you how weak you looked when I first seen you. Do you remember what you told me there?" Kit asked her and she nodded.
"That one day... I would fly my ass right out of there."
"And you did."
"With your help."
"Yes, with my help. Not the Monsignor."
"He did give me false hope Kit, but without him, I would have never met you." Jude said as she walked off.
Kit went to clean up his mess and wash the dishes as Jude went upstairs. She needed to see if Timothy would be willing to work it out with her and Kit, no matter what he said. She pulled out a phone book to look up the number.
She dialed his number as it rung.
It rang three times
A lady's voice rang through
"Hello?"
"Hello, I need to speak with Timothy Howard, please?"
"May I ask who's calling?"
Jude hesitated for a moment as she breathed through her nose and out her mouth.
"This is Judy Walker or as he knows as Jude, can you put me through to him? Please."
"Hold on just a moment."
Jude waited for a moment as a familiar voice rang through.
"Hello?" Timothy said in his deep British accent. It changed quite a bit.
"Timothy?" Jude asked as Timothy could not believe it was Jude.
"Jude?"
"Yes it's me."
"Oh goodness, how are you?"
"I'm fine."
"Good."
They talked for more than an hour.
"Well, I have to get ready for bed, but I called you to say that this will be my last time talking to you."
"Jude, you said that last time."
"I know."
"I will be in Boston in a few months if you want to catch up?"
"Timothy, I'm eight months pregnant and I will have two little ones then. I don't think that would be such a good idea."
"Okay."
They ended the call with a good night as Jude hung up the phone and laid down to wait for Kit to come back upstairs.
She stared at the door and waited for him as an hour rolled by as he came into the room as she pretended to be asleep.
"Good night." Jude said as Kit turned over to face the door as he felt hurt.
"You called him?"
"Yes."
"Great. I'm going to bed now."
"I love you."
"You too." Kit said as he went to sleep.
Jude laid there as she felt the babies kick more urgently as she leaned up.
"Ouch! That one hurt!" Jude got out of bed and went into the bathroom as her side consistently started hurting.
"Kit?"
No answer
"Kit, I need you. Please?" Jude said
"Coming." Kit said as he got up to see what she needed.
He walked into the bathroom as she was leaned over the tub to balance herself.
"I had this awful pain and I don't know if was a real contraction or not."
"That's not possible."
"I think it is."
"Let's go back to bed and see if it helps."
"Okay."
Kit got Jude back into bed as she fell asleep.
He kissed her forehead and went back to his side and fell asleep too.
Author's Note: Hey guys! I just wanted to say sorry for not being active as I usually am. I work night shift for anyone who is new here to my stories and it's difficult to write when you're tired, but I just wanted to say thank you for being so patient with me.
Dedicated to NxnsxgnorsDxmon and JessicaLangeLove for your love and everything. ❤
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