A/N: Lmao look who's back with a very belated update. No, I wasn't on a yet another hiatus lol

But first of all: THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR YOUR NICE COMMENTS ON THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER! THEY MADE MY DAY AND NIGHT AND THEY BROUGHT ME TO TEARS! IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW MUCH YOU CRIED BECAUSE I CRIED THE MOST!! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! I'M GLAD I COULD SATISFY AND PLEASE LITERALLY EVERYONE WITH THAT CHAPTER! *^*

Okay, now to the reason why I didn't update for so long. It's very simple.

I worked on another fic.

A two-shot. I had started writing it after the update of the last chapter and I knew that it would keep busy for at least one week. I mean only the first chapter. Well... What was originally supposed to be a 5k-7k long chapter turned out to be FUCKING 25K+ LONG OMFG! And the worst was how that is only the first half of the first chapter, which means I have to split it and make it a three-shot. This is not my fault, it's because of the plot. In other words, I spent one month mostly on my other fic and it is still not finished ugh

Anyway, here I am again and I hope I'll be able to update more regularly in the next few weeks. University is going to start for me soon, I have to get as much chapters done as possible.

Speaking of which... Yay! This story is already over 100k+ words long! It was my wish to write a Eren/Levi fanfiction that is at least 100k long. And now we have already 126k+ I'm so happy. Congrats to you because you all have read so much! AND THE BEST IS THAT THE SECOND HALF OF THE STORY BEGINS NOW! Which means in the end I'll have a complete Ereri fic that is over 200k+ words long wow, that's a lot.

I hope everyone wants to keep on reading, regardless how long the upcoming chapters are. I can never tell because whenever I have something planned, it always turns out to be longer than expected. Just like this chapter here; instead of roughly estimated 2k+ words, it has gotten thrice as long.

Oh, yeah another thing: I know, everyone is happy that Eren and Levi have finally become a couple, but please do not underestimate the second half of the story and even worse do not underestimate me as the author of this fanfiction. Just because they're together now, it doesn't mean that there aren't any problems left anymore because... (⊙▽⊙✿) (You all should know by now that I am not a writer who writes cliché-ic stories) Trust me, nothing is close to end yet. There's still sooooo much to come! I wonder if I'm as good at writing fluff as I am with writing angst lol

Um, I'm not done talking. In this chapter there's the question what Eren would have done if Levi hadn't stopped him from going. We all know that he was a very unstable person when he left the apartment, but there won't be a clear answer given. I left the question open for you, as the readers, to evaluate for yourself. There's like... a tiny hint to what would have happened to Eren, though it's barely noticable in the story, but I wanted it like that. Either you decide whether Eren would have recovered from everything, get depressed or suicidal or whatever, or you read very closely and find out what my answer is. It would have been very interesting for me to write that short alternative ending, but it's not relevant to this story, so I won't.

Ehhh... Enjoy this chapter!

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Eren's POV

Warmth.

That was the first thing that came to my mind when I woke up from a sleep that had felt so relieving and relaxing and tender since what felt like eternity. The second thing I noticed was the hug I was embraced with-so comfortably tight and fond and it gave me a feeling of safety, as though this was where I belonged. In his arms.

Smiling lightly to myself, I snuggled my head into his chest, breathing deeply, taking in his scent. He mostly smelled of shampoo and newly washed clothes, since we had taken a shower together yesterday. In between the water stream and the white fluffy foam there had been kisses, and I think I had been crying even then, releasing tears of utter joy and love.

My nose nuzzled even deeper into the fabric of his shirt, staying like that, as if in never ever wanting to let go of him. Never ever.

Then I felt fingers combing through my hair, stroking my locks softly. I closed my eyes as I fell into the touch that was so little, but it was everything to me right now. I appreciated even a little gesture like that because it came from the person who normally wouldn't do that, and this was why I loved it even more. Because I was the one who was touched by him so tenderly, I felt so special.

I didn't want to let go of him ever again. Never ever.

Despite of all the scent of soap on his skin and an even intenser scent on his clothes, I was still able to take in the undescribable, unique scent of him that calmed me down.

My head backed up a bit, so that my mouth was free from any fabric. "You're already awake?" I asked Levi in a voice that came off as sweet.

"Yeah." he simply answered. "I don't sleep that much."

"What were you doing the whole time?" A little pink colour made its way to my cheek, all because there was that little part in my mind that told me that he was going to say something that would obviously make me blush and feel flustered. So my body thought it would be a better idea to blush, even though he Levi hadn't said any words yet. I couldn't control it.

"I watched you sleeping." Levi eventually said.

The redness in my face was totally justified.

I adjusted my head onto the crook of his neck, laying there like that for a while. No words needed to be exchanged. Levi's breath was even and calm, and so was mine. We didn't break the silence, enjoying the peaceful moment to the fullest, especially I was appreciating it because this was what I needed the most right now.

After all these weeks, after all these happenings, I had no energy left to and recovering next to the person who meant everything to me was all I wanted.

I didn't know how much time passed in which Levi and I layed on the bed, his fingers occasionally tracing the skin on my neck, shoulder and arm feathery as I rested on his chest, a content smile decorating my facial features. It remained like that for a long time, and to be honest I didn't want it to come to an end. The thought of laying in bed together with Levi for one whole day sounded so pleasant to me, especially when there couldn't be any more opportune moment.

But eventually I sat up, and Levi shifted, too. I positioned myself on his lower thighs as Levi scooted back until his back reached the bed post, pillows cushioning his waist. His arms snaked around my hips and he brought my body closer to his; the whole time his eyes were locked with mine. While I had shot him a smile, he was looking at me with an expression that was hard to figure. He wasn't smiling, but he wasn't frowning either.

Levi's fingers curled interlaced behind my back. "Mornin'," he murmured in an easy-going way.

The curve of my lips deepened and my hands wandered up on his arms until they reached his neck, wrapping around them. "Morning." I answered back, sighing in content.

His thumbs were making circles on my top and that soothing movement eased me pleasantly. Both of us wore only boxers and a top. There was a little silence in which no one of us said anything at all, it was me who gave Levi a view of an always-smiling brunet while I was faced with a raven who didn't really express anything right now. But I didn't mind. I liked our moment, even if it had mostly been spent in quiet.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, slight concern hidden in his voice.

My smile didn't falter as I retorted, "I'm feeling very well."

"Are you sure?"

This time my face altered to that one of confusion, my brows creasing ever so lightly. "Yeah, why shouldn't I be sure about that? I'm fine. Really." This wasn't a lie, was it? I mean, yesterday I had been a total wreck, all hopes given up and ready to drown in my sorrow, but I didn't have that feeling that I felt like this anymore. I didn't have to worry anymore... because I had Levi by my side.

"Well, it was only two days ago when Sayo..." Levi paused, choosing another way to explain his worries, "No one can and has to get over with such a... miserable incident right away. Not after a few days and especially not alone. Eren, please don't pretend. You don't have to. Be honest with me. Do you... Do you perhaps feel like you need therapy to handle it?"

I didn't answer immediately, nothing than an almost quiet "Oh." escaping my lips when I slowly figured out what Levi was talking about in the first place. He was the most worried about me because an old man had almost raped me. This was what concerned him the most. My mental health.

To be quite frank, I hadn't thought about that thing with Sayo anymore. Not after the things that had happened after. The things Levi told me about himself, my desperate attempt to convince him that he was feeling love and finally his wish that he wanted to love were literally the only things that had had my mind occupied over the time. If he hadn't brought up that topic again, I would have most likely forgotten about it to some extent.

Now I saw that Levi's eyes weren't completely undefinable anymore, he was worried, and all I wanted to do right now was to take that deep concern away from him. "I don't need a therapy." His expression didn't change, as though I hadn't been bery convincing. I cocked my head slightly, my fingers caressing his undercut now. "I'm honest. I'll be fine, without psychological help." There was still that little bit of doubt left on his face and I had to think for a few seconds before my brain came up with something. Edging closer to him, our faces inches apart now, I gave Levi a puppy look. "How about you become my therapy?"

His expression was replaced by irritation. "Me?"

"Yes." I rested my head on his chest, at the same time listening to his heart beat as I drew circles with my fingers on his clothed skin. I sighed before I went on. "I'm sure I can forget everything about Sayo when I am with you." I raised my head again, watching him expectant eyes.

Levi furrowed his brows, his head turning to the side very slightly, his eyes narrowed as he asked warily, "You don't mean sex, do you?"

An amused huff left my lips as I shook my head, giggling lowly before one hand of mine caressed his cheek. Levi looked a bit mad now and I swear one could see how his lips were forming something that was close to count as a pout. "No. Sex isn't everything."

As I continued petting his cheek, Levi spoke again. Lowering his gaze in an understanding way. "You're right." A little pause. "Cigarettes are important, t-"

"Levi."

"Okay, fine." He rolled his eyes, averting his gaze to the side, releasing a heavy breath. And there was that little pout again, but not without knitted brows and those two together made an expression that let him look so cute. I think I knew why he said that. He hadn't smoked for at least one whole day and for him, as a smoker, this was a long time. Levi was probably just urging a cigarette. I would make sure that he was going to stop smoking. After all, I had managed to almost succeed once; it can work a second time as well. But now was not the time to think about that.

Another little breathy laugh rose from my throat before I went on. "What I mean is that you can help me forget. Together we can replace those bad memories with more beautiful ones. You and I can now spent so much time together, and I love that idea." I took one of Levi's hands in mine and let our fingers entwine. "We're a couple now, you know?"

A petite smile formed on his lips, barely noticable, but I spotted it and it was enough for me. The stare we held was deep and strong, and I had that weird feeling that Levi was looking at me with whole different eyes now.The greyness in his orbs weren't as cold and piercing anymore as they used to when he had been giving me casual looks. Also, his face didn't seem to be so tensed anymore. He didn't have to keep up a mask in front of me anymore. The emotionlessness and indifference in his face was gone.

Just staring at him made me think of all these things and I couldn't do anything against that-not that I wanted to, anyway. My fingers ran from the top of his hair to the bottom of his undercut, resting on the back of his neck then.

This was when I realized that, in the end, I was so lucky to have someone like Levi by my side. He was a human being with flaws, like everyone else, and all he wanted was to be loved-despite of his flaws. He probably didn't know that yet, but this was something everyone sought-consciously and subconsciously. In Levi's case it was the latter. He used to have a very rough time and because of him there was a period of time in which he made my life a mess, too... But together we would be able to overcome everything harmful and live a life in content and love.

He wasn't perfect... and I wasn't perfect.

'Isn't that what makes a human a human? Having flaws!'

My head snapped when those words flashed through my mind-sounding so familiar to me. With creased brows, I tried to remember what the context of this was and - most importantly - who had said that, but before I could go too far with my train of thoughts, Levi interrupted me, tearing me from my intense pondering.

"What is it?" he asked, one brow raised.

My thoughts were forgotten and as soon as I saw him in the face, I remembered again how peaceful and calm our current moment was. There was no space left for secondary things. "Nothing." I eventually answered, giving him a reassuring smile. I cupped his face with both of my hands as I said with sincerity and fondness in my voice, "I'm just so so so happy."

My thumbs stroked the spot right under his eyes before I let go of his face, my hands lingering on his hips now. "Oh, man," Levi sighed heavily, running a flat hand through his hand. "I can't believe it. Yesterday. It still seems so unreal to me. It's hard for me to believe that I really did say all those things to you yesterday."

"But it's true." I took his hand and kissed his palm softly. "Everything had really happened. Everything was real."

Otherwise we wouldn't be here, together, sharing a bed, talking.

I wouldn't be here.

"I had cried," Levi went on, huffing as though this was something unbelievable for him, "When was the last time I cried? I think it was shortly after Kenny took me in. He would always scold me when I started to sob after failing at one of his fighting lessons."

"You have a really good memory."

"I know." He spaced out for a moment before his face changed to a distressed one. He spit out the next words without pausing, gradually talking faster. "I shouldn't have cried. This wasn't right. Crying is for the weak. I'm not weak. I'm not weak anymore. I didn't practice only to be seen as a weakling in the end. I went through many shits, but I didn't break. I shouldn't have broken yesterday either. This was wrong! Don't take anything I did yesterday seriously!"

"Hey, Levi, look at me." I hold his face in my hand again, forcing him to look at me. He was breathing loudly by now, his eyes widened. He was obviously too stressed and overstrained and confused about himself, which had let him to panic and, even worse, have a little anxiety attack. "Calm down. Breath in slowly and breath out slowly." I instructed in a calm voice, bringing our foreheads to touch.

"Eren," he breathed out, embracing my waist firmly. "Don't go."

"I won't go anywhere. I'll stay here with you."

Levi did as I said and soon his breathing was calm again. I placed my palm over his chest, sensing that his heart was still beating faster than normal. With a soothing voice, I whispered, "Everything you did and say yesterday was right. You did nothing wrong. You weren't weak. You didn't cry because you were weak."

"Then why did I start crying?" The fast pace of his heart beat decreased.

"You started crying because you finally released your feelings."

"What?"

"You don't have to struggle anymore. You're freed from the pain now."

"What pain?"

"The invisible pain that hindered you to feel the things a human needed to feel. The major emotions that make you a whole as a human being and that fulfill your heart's desires."

"You mean love?"

"Yes-but not only. You will see that not everything is going to be as indifferent to you as they used to. It is inevitable that there are going to be things that will move you, overwhelm you, and you have to accept that. Don't go back to your former attitude. Don't shield yourself from anything that effects your life positively." His heart was pumping at a normal pace again and I retreated my hand and face, but not before I kissed his cheek fondly, showing him with that that everything was alright. "You told me you want to feel again."

"I'm not that sure about that anymore. Actually I'm not sure about anything. I don't know if I really want... changes."

"Not everything is bad for you." Levi listened to me attentively, insecurity still written over his face, and it was my goal to make his doubts disappear. "Love isn't bad either."

"My childhood proved me the exact opposite."

"What you had to witness wasn't love. Nothing that those men did to your mother was out of love. It was pure abuse."

"What about my mom? She didn't love me. She abused me, too."

"You told me that she started abusing you when she'd become an alcoholic. A drunk mother is never the best mother. You were talking to me about the few good times you had with her before everything went down in her and your life. I think you were loved by her really much when you were still so young. Perhaps she never told you that, I don't know, but when she began hurting you, I don't think it was because she detested you and saw nothing more in you than a useless burden. Do you believe that a mother, who once loved her child endearly, can erase those feelings completely? I refuse to believe that." I lowered my eyes, an empathetic expression stretching over my face. "If you were to ask me, I guess that Kuchel was practically forced to live a life she never wanted, but she couldn't do anything against that, too. Obviously she didn't choose to live in the slums, but this was the world she was born into. And she did everything to survive, even if it meant to sell her own body. And the men she had to deal with were the reason she had to suffer. Those guys were the source of her money, so she had to do what they wanted her to do. They dragged her even more down to that ugly life that was nothing more than people using women's body, drinking, smoking, abuse and whatesoever. Most of the time, your mother had probably disliked the idea of having to deal with her own child, but it was most likely only because she had wished a better life for you, but couldn't grant you with it. It was a vicious circle; Kuchel was stuck in a world of ugliness and wanted to escape, but couldn't and thus she had to play along with these men that were her "lovers". It was a matter of 'survive or die' all along, and this destroyed her-especially mentally. That she hit you was a result of her inability to protect you and herself. It may be true that she hadn't been able to show and give you the affection a child needed, but - just like you - she had been a victim, too. I'm sure that her one and only wish would have been to secure you a better life. Because you are Levi-her son. Mothers are always like that. They value the lives of their children more than their own ones and they always put the lives of their children above their own ones. The way Kuchel had done it wasn't the best one, but you can't say that she didn't try. She tried, and she did her best. She gave everything up in her life to give you a life. You meant everything to her."

These words had flooded through my mind uncontrollably and left my lips without a second thought. I was glad that I was able to say all these things to him, I thought I would never be able to. I had really thought that yesterday would have been the end forever. That Levi and I would have seperated. That we would never ever see each other again, dying in pain and unhappiness.

Whatever the cause to Levi's sudden change was yesterday, this was the best thing that could ever happen. That he had told me how he wanted to love and be in a relationship with me and appreciate my love... I had been so relieved that he had said all these things. And the best was how he and he alone had decided for that. It was him who hadn't wanted me to leave him, it was him who had fought yesterday. I didn't do anything. I had given up when Levi's will had flamed up. He made me believe that hope really dies last. Levi gave me reason to keep on. And the most important things was... Levi wanted all this, too.

I'm so proud of you, my love.

"She never hated me to the fullest?"

It took me a few seconds to understand what he was trying to say with that and when I saw that sad smile on him, I knew what he was waiting for. I smiled back the same way. "No, she didn't."

"She regretted not having been able to be a good mother to me?"

"Yes. Abuse is the wrongest of the wrong ways of being a good mother."

"But she apologized to me. Because she never really wanted to hurt me. She apologized to me, and died."

"As long as you don't forget her, she is not dead. She lives on," I tapped on Levi's chest-where his heart was, "she watches over you and she protects you."

"She must be really disappointed with me for I decided not to love ever again. That's certainly not what she would want me to do."

"It isn't too late to change that." I didn't take my eyes off him, watching how Levi's feature loosened, turning to a content one.

"Yesterday," he began, his voice sounding relieved, "I made the right decision. Leaving you would have been a big mistake which I would have started to regret sooner or later. Our conversation just now... bears resemblance to the one in my dream. That's why I'm sure now that I want you in my life."

Part of me was puzzled because I couldn't quite follow. "Huh? What dream?" I questioned, tilting my head.

And then Levi told me about the dream he had yesterday. About Kuchel, his younger self, Kuchel's lovers and customers, and what surprised me was that I had appeared in his dream, too... twice. But it stunned me the most that Levi had had a conversation with "me" in his dream in which "I" had explained to him why he shouldn't hate his mother and why locking his feelings up was a mistake.

After he told me everything, I remained silent, unable to form any coherent words. I needed three attempts to be quite exact. "I-... Thi-... That sounds like me, doesn't it." I laughed insecurely, scratching the back of my head. And to be quite frank, I was even a bit envious. I mean, Levi had dreamt something about me and himself and it held such a powerful meaning and then there was me... I had dreamt of him twice the past few weeks and both dreams only had... sexual innuendos.

"Whatever," Levi retorted, "Important is that the Eren in my dream was right. Isn't that good?"

"It is, of course! No one wants to hurt you anymore. You're surrounded by people who care about you-me included."

"I think..." he thought for a moment, probably choosing the right words. "I don't want to live this life anymore. And you're going to witness how I'll become a person who can feel."

I was so close to cry from happiness, but I did my best at oppressing my tears, giving him a bright smile. And then I said, "Let me love you. It's such a good feeling to be loved, you'll see. Let me give you love."

His hands wandered up to my face, caressing my cheeks. "Permission granted." The tone was both sincere and jokingful. He was serious, but at the same time he wanted to break the tension.

He was successful. I giggled. "Thank you." I said back to him with the same tone.

One of his hands was in the back of my head now, remaining there, not moving, but I already had a vague thought what Levi wanted to do. And then I felt a light pressure on my head, and I complied, letting our lips slowly collide.

It was a very soft and chaste kiss, our lips rather lingering on each other than moving. Every second of his lips resting lazily on my pair of lips was like a treasured gift to me, and I didn't waste a moment in which I wasn't happy to feel his thin, sweet lips on mine, releasing blissful chills inside my body. Levi, though, seemed like he wasn't satisfied with a simple kiss like that, but he respected and accepted it nevertheless. Or so I thought. When I wanted to part, he didn't let me yet, extending the kiss a bit longer before he released his mouth from mine, licking his lips then.

I see. "Next time I'm going to kiss you longer."

"Nah, it's fine." This was obviously a lie, but it was amusing to see how he wanted it so badly.

It was only now that I realized how up until now we had spent our morning on our bed only, but honestly I didn't feel like getting up or moving to begin with.

Levi didn't mind it either, so there was no problem in spending more time like this, sitting on his lap, talking to him and giving Levi gentle strokes. But somehow he looked like there was still something on his mind, bothering him. And I was right. "Say, Eren..." he started, speaking in a cautious way, "What... What would you have done if you really left yesterday. What if I hadn't stopped you from going away? How would you have continued your life? I mean, I was important to you and after all this..."

"First of all, you're still important to me, and you'll always be. Because I love you. And..." I had to think of how to respond. It was true that I had been an emotional wreck yesterday, without any strength left or hope of good endings and uncapable to think positively anymore. What would I have done? Go to mom and dad and stay there for a while, Mikasa would have found out about that sooner and later and then she would have bugged me with her annoying interrogation because sometimes she had that habit to be too protective over me (even though I was older than her), I would then have probably locked myself in my room and then... And then what? "I don't know." I stared at Levi intensely. "Actually I don't want to think about that." There was no reason for me to do that. It didn't come that far and I should be very grateful for that.

"Okay, I see. I'm sorry for asking. I shouldn't have done that." Levi replied fast, appearing like he was regretting having me asked that.

"N-No. It's okay. You don't have to worry. "

"But you seemed so uncomfortable with that question. I should have known that before asking. I'm sorry. I didn't consider it."

"Levi, I'm fine. Your question wasn't inappropriate. It shows that you care about me."

"I want to care about you."

"Okay. I feel flattered. I think no one had said that to me like that before." I think at this point even a little dust of pink coloured my cheeks.

"Good. I want to be the only one. Don't let anyone else say that to you, too." He uttered the last thing with so some evident jealousy behind is voice, it was amusing... and cute.

I chuckled. "Yeah, okay."

A little silence and yet again it felt like Levi still had some worries left. "I hurt you so much. I'm sorry."

I held his hands, giving a gentle squeeze. "And I told you already that I forgive you for everything you've done to me."

"Yeah, but perhaps you had said that at that time solely because you didn't want me to go."

"Tha-..." I wanted to object, having raised one finger already when I realized that he was practically right. "Well, I can't deny that..."

"See." He shrugged.

Rolling my eyes in amusement first, I then placed his hands over my chest. "I forgive you because I know now that you never hurt me intently."

"But that I was always too dumb to realize that makes me a fool."

"No, it doesn't." I scolded him, honestly upset, pouting. "You were unable to notice that, not foolish."

"I'm sorry, Eren. You had to endure so much. If... I can understand if you want to hurt me back as much as I hurt you, but... I think I won't be able to handle it-"

"Wait, wait, wait! What are you saying there?!" My eyes opened widely, my ears didn't want to believe that they had heard that just now. "Do you really think I want to hurt you back?!"

Levi didn't look like he understood why I was so angry with him. "I thought... Maybe, before we can start living a life as a couple, you want to take revenge on me first, since-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence." I said to him in a threatening voice, scooting a glare at him. "I don't want to harm you! Why would I do that?! I love you!"

Levi hesitated and I gave him a look that (hopefully) told him not to say something wrong now. But he didn't care. "Maybe you wanted us to..." My intensified glare seemed to work. "... be... even. Okay, I got it. Stop looking at me like that."

I sighed lowly, letting our fingers interwine. "I promise you, Levi," The voice I spoke with was soft and calm but also serious, not taking my eyes off him, and I saw trust in his grey orbs. "I will never ever hurt you. Cross my heart and hope to die."

Levi looked a lot more relieved now, as though every tension and every insecurity and every burden had fallen off his shoulders. "Thank you."

"I won't hurt you in any way. Never ever."

"I believe you."

I hugged him, whispering into his ear. "I want to make you happy."

Levi stiffened in surprise, embracing me back after that. His hands fisted my top and he held me in his arms for a long time. Ruffling my hair, he then let go of me, his face lowered as his eyes focused on a spot on my chest. I looked down quickly, figuring out that he was probably staring at the key.

And then his head whipped up fast, his eyes locking with mine. "I have one last question."

"I'm all ears." I said as I played with his hair.

"Why do you love me, Eren?"

This question surprised me totally, I had to admit, I hadn't been prepared for it at all. Speechless at first, I tried to regain my senses, and took a relaxing breath to arrange my thoughts in an order so that I wouldn't talk in riddles when giving him the answer. To be honest, I was glad that he asked that. I had never really thought about telling him, but it was nice to hear that he wanted to know why I fell in love with him. Which didn't mean that the answer was easy, hell, it wasn't at all. One couldn't always explain why we loved a certain person, sometimes love happens when you expect it the least.

With a gleeful smile, I didn't take my eyes off Levi, speaking in a loving voice. "When I first met you... I was mostly attracted to your good looks. Well, that was the only thing actually. But I had already a feeling that you were... different; not like every other average man. You had an attitude that probably many had to grow accustomed to when they'd want to be friends with you. But I never saw you as someone rude, snobbish or self-centred. The first time I saw you, I was amazed by your whole attitude and when I figured out your unique attitude, it was so thrilling to me that I wanted to know more about you. I wanted to be part of your life. I wanted to be someone to you who wasn't just a friend. As you may still know, our first meet ended in hot sex. And there was no second I felt bad for it; instead of questioning or regretting, I enjoyed every second of it. But I wanted more. You don't even know how happy I was when you suggested to spend more time with me, even if it was... only for bodily pleasure. While you had probably had just this one thing in mind, I was so eager to become a person to you you would want to have by your side. Well, things did not go quite according to plan. Somehow we started with having an affair, skipped that friendship thing, which I had hoped for the whole time, and went straight to become fuck buddies. After some time, it was obvious to me that I didn't fall in love with you the usual kind of way. You didn't pretend to be a person you weren't in the first place. I got to know your honest side that was also harsh sometimes. You were always brutally honest, when you don't like certain people you were never afraid to show it to them, and I think you liked to complain and made it clear to me more than once what your pet peeves were. Now why should a person ever start liking a person like you in a romantic way? Well, I did. In my eyes, you were a person who was rare to get, hard to keep but oh so worth to have. Back at that time, to me, you appeared to be a person who had a soft heart behind a hard shell, but you also looked like a man with secrets no one knew. Not exactly kinky secrets, but ones only very trustful persons would see, namely the secret of the more caring side of you. You always acted like you don't care much about others, but I was pretty certain you would care and treasure and value the person who would mean a lot to you. I wanted to be that person. I wanted to get the attention from you that no one else got to know before. As soon as I figured out that there must be a reason why you didn't show certain emotions, I wanted to change that. I stayed by your side because I wanted to take care of you. You should see that I cared about you, that there was no reason to be so distanced and locked towards me. You should have looked at me and realized how much I love you. But again I didn't get what I wanted. But this steamed up my love for you. Of course I couldn't have known that behind your hard shell there harboured an image of a broken person. And as the one who developed feelings for you, my main goal had become to pick up the broken pieces and make you a whole again. You don't even know, Levi, but over the months I saw you as a person who I would do everything for. And day by day my love for you grew. I love you because you are so special to me."

At this very moment, I had surprised myself because of how much I said. And actually I would go one like that forever. I could make a list of reasons why I loved Levi. I could talk about him all day and night, swoon over him and think of no one else than him. Certainly he had done things to me that were awful, he used my body and didn't take into consideration that he had hurt my feelings as a result. But together we will be able to heal our wounds. Together we will support and love each other. No one and nothing would be able to tear us apart anymore.

Because the hard time we went through was evidence that we were unseperable. Levi needed me, and I needed him.

Just like that, we will reach happiness.

"That was," Levi said in a calm voice, "very long and very detailed." I shot him a wink, snickering. His eyes were on my necklace again and this time he commented on it. "The key... You're right. It does have a meaning."

I waited for him to go on, but nothing came and at the same time I wasn't sure whether it was right for me to say something, and before it could get that far, Levi decided to move out of bed.

He held me by my hips and put me down on the mattress, I wasn't sitting on his lap anymore. "We've talked so much, it's late in the morning. We should go eat breakfast now. Aren't you hungry, too?" Not letting me answer, he left the room without anything more to add, as though it wasn't strange at all for him to leave right after a very serious talk.

He probably left because he didn't know how to handle the situation any more. How cute.

Of course we had to work on some things. But despite of everything, I was pretty positive that he was going to tell me the meaning behind that key when the day had come and when he felt like it, and I was pretty certain that one day he was going to confess the following to me:

'I love you.'

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A/N: My favourite line of this chapter is: I'm so proud of you, my love.

It's soft praise kink, and I fucking love it.

One last thing: I've seen many times recently that some of you call me Author-chan. Actually it flatters me so much because you take the time to adress me with a name. I have so lovely readers! Thank you! That's why I want to reveal my name to you, it's a shortcut of my real name but still.

If you want you can call me Lin