I was laying in my bed watching a small child, until the child suddenly awoke from their nap.

The little baby just stared at the wall and I stared back at her. I didn't know what was happening.

THEN!

The kool aid man busted through the wall with a pitcher FULL OF ACID DYED RED WITH THE BLOOD OF THE INNOCENT!

MINA ASHIDO IS QUAKING BEFORE HIM

No that's not what I was scared of though...

He let a fucking bee in through the hole in the wall.

So now, T H E R E ' S  A  B E E

I decided this was some weird ass sleep paralysis.

The kool aid man mumbles two words that I often times hear in my sleep, thinking they were just my imagination. 

He opened his black eyes a little wider. "Ohhh yeahhhhhhh"

And brought up a huge ass machete, swinging towards me.

But he missed. The debris for, the wall being smashed in had bought me enough time to hide in the closet.

Yes, I was in the closet again. It was horrifying.

So cramped and dark. Just me and my gay, and the mumbling of soft 'oh yeahs' on the other side of the door. They suddenly ceased.

To my horror, the door slowly creaked open. Upon seeing the tall pitcher of red stare down at me.

He blinked and said "A Queer?...I mean... O H  Y E A H" And then ripped the closet door off it's hinges.

And I'm out.

I came out of the closet so fast, the kool aid man didn't even know what hit him.

Meanwhile, the small child on my bed  had disappeared. 

The kool aid man swung his machete over and over again, trying to hit me, before finally cornering me.

He looked at me with a sinister expression. And said with menace "Oh yeah."

Thnafully, I did some light reading Kool-ish a month ago, and understood exactly what he was saying.

'Any last words'

I furrowed my eye brows and lowered my chin. "Oh yeah."

'Hand me my water bottle? I'm thirsty as fuck.'

He handed me my water bottle, and I didn't open the lid or drink it yet. I nodded at him and he asked me again for any last words. 

"Oh yeah. Oh yeah, Oh yeah oh yeah. Oh yeah! Oh yeahhhhh *Sniffles* Oh yeah... ohyeahohyeahohyeah OH YEAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHA... Oh yeah?"

'No'

He looked appalled. "Oh yeah."

'Bitch what the fuck, you better. Who the fuck do you think you are?'

I smiled a wicked smile and uncapped my water bottle. "OHHHH YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

'ITS BRITTANY BITCH!' And then I chugged my water.

Just like I planned.

It wasn't water. It wasn't vodka.

"Oh yeah." I say with no fucks given, as I feel my throat burning.

'It's vinegar, you pussy.'

The kool aid man fell to his knees and screamed, as I laughed and died.

Sleep paralysis is fucking weird, or so I thought, in those moments.

Turns out, It wasn't sleep paralysis.

I was awake.

And died via kool aid man and vinegar.

The kool aid man was arrested not for attempted murder, but for screaming 'OH YEAH' too loudly, and there was a noise complaint from my neighbors.

Despite that, My name went down in history.

"Brittany Bitch. An inspiration to all. She chugged the vinegar like a champ, and proved to us all that we won't stand for the oh yeahs of death. We take our deaths into our own hands. Now hold your vinegar glasses high and drink to Brittany's bravery!"

Is what it now says it your text books. You're welcome. I changed the world.

There is now a forty foot statue of me made out of kool aid packets, chugging vinegar.

I'm a true hero, and don't you forget it.

"Oh yeah."

'the end'

~~~

I'M GOING TO FUCKING HELL FOR WRITING THIS DAKLFHAKLHFKLAHKLFAKLJDKLAJL

To the person on discord who I was talking to about this, I hope you're happy. I said I would do it and I am no liar.

This is my legacy.

This is how people will remember me.

~Rin

You're welcome world.