Isn't it stupid to call you as my jaan when I'm not having one  and sorry for those typo errors.

Seriously jaan when I woke up I really didn't know that I slept for 3 months.

It was totally my mistake to drink and drive that day.Karma is a bitch and I'm paying for it.

Good to see you treating me because I can't imagine someone other than you touching me.Wait shouldn't I be ashamed?I don't even have a proper body now. Only a single leg and a broken backbone.

And the best part is I have zero hopes in me that everything will be back to normal. I'm lucky to have you as my husband,a doctor husband but I cant even call your name with this thing in my throat.
Seriously when you celebrated that day that I opened my eyes all I could do was wink at you. Apart from that I couldn't even move my muscle.

I can't even wipe your tears when you are changing my urinebags.
It kills me and I'm dying everyday.

Every breath, every wink is like thousands of needles piercing me, or  getting roasted on fire.

I'm trying I promise but this body of mine has trapped my soul. This wasn't the girl whom you fell in love with.

I swear I look like a mess but still why are you with me?
I definitely want to be the reason for your smile but not the one which you have right now.

You have changed jaan, that beard and dark circles tell a lot about you and it kills me to know that I'm the reason for it.

You have done all your duties as a doctor but my shitty body doesn't react. I swear jaan I swear I tried and I'm still trying so that I can atleast hug you properly but I won't try anymore.

I don't want you to be with me. All your life you would end up taking care of me.
I want you to marry someone else and have kids and grow old and spend your life with her.

I'm nothing but a corpse with a beating heart and blinking eye.
I can't talk to you
I can't even smile properly to you. 
Won't you feel disgusted looking at my face?
I literally took a week to type or literally tap this on your Ipad
Thanks for the technology that I can tell you what I feel.

Please jaan please let me go.
All you need to do is to remove the artificial ventilation or I think you know the best way to kill me.

I think getting killed is much better than living this painful life.
I have no reason to live jaan
Look at my fate, I can't even kill myself.

So please jaan

If you really love me

JAANE DE MUJHE