My best friend's name is Troye. We've been best friends with him since like forever. When were kids, we used to climb trees, run on meadows on days that the wind could literally blow us away, trip and fall into a muddy swamp then climb up only to find that my one flip-flop had gone missing. Troye had to dip his hand in the muddy mud to search for my flip-flop. That one was a funny memory though.

Now we're 17. And currently I'm facing some problems.

First problem is that I have a crush on Troye. 

Second problem is that Troye's gay.

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Troye told me he's gay about 2 years ago. He called me, saying that he wanted to "announce something big". I was curious of course.

"I'm gay".

My eyes poked out and my mouth dropped to the floor "BITCH WHAT"

He seemed nervous. I instantaneously shake him "TELL ME TELL ME MORE HOW COME"

"I just happened to like this boy."

"WHICH BOY"

"Jake"

"I KNEW IT OMG"

"R u okay with this?" - He asked nervously once again, waiting for my respond.

"YES YES YES YES I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU. I'M HAPPY THAT YOU TRUST ME ENOUGH TO TELL ME THIS. Now that you're gay I love you even more."

The thought of having a gay best friend overwhelmed me. Holy shit he's gay. Now we can be like SISTERS now. We're gonna have real girl-ish sleepovers now. We'll paint nails and gossip and talk about boys and I'm sure gonna help him on his "romance".

"Bitch this's gonna be dope" - I told Troye and hugged him so hard that he choked a little bit.

But 2 years later, now, I have a crush on him, a gigantic crush. How ironic.

We were lying on Troye's house's roof. This is our tradition. I come to Troye's house once a week for a sleepover. And when I come we usually go to the roof and just lie there. Do a little bit of star gazing.

I was lying next to Troye, not to close- cause its summer now and we definitely do not to feel the additional 37 degree Celcius of each other's body. But it was in the evening, so it was not steaming-hot anymore, actually the wind was blowing quite a bit, cooling down.

Troye was talking about random stuffs: his English assignment where he has to pretend to be a lawyer and write a "closing argument" to accuse who-ever-is-guilty to the Romeo and Juliet case. I literally can't understand English assignments sometimes. He then talk more about a funny youtube video or a book a something like that. I couldn't remember because i wasn't focusing. I was lost while gazing at the stars.

To be precise, I was lost in my thoughts while gazing at the stars. What the hell is going on? Why did I fall in love with Troye? He's gay so I have like zero chance with him. Oh stars tell me how can I deal with this, can I get Troye to like me? No, no, that's impossible. Why is my life so shitty. I'm so desperate with this unrequited love. I love Troye's eyes, his hair, his smile-with-teeth and his soft voice. URGH. I wonder if he's having a crush on someone now. Wonder who that guy is that lucky one. Please stars can I have a chance with Troye...

"Breeze"!

Troye's sudden call brought me back to reality.

"Were you even listening?"

"What is it?" - I spoke and rolled my eyes, tried not to sound nervous.

"You're being weird. I turned to look at you and you were like-" - He then demonstrated the scene: poking his eyes out, opening his mouth (drooling) and staring at the "mysterious space ahead" (he described).

"You looked like you were possessed... or haunted. So creepy that I wanted to slap you back to Earth." - He then laughed out loud.

Yeah haunted by you.

And why does his laugh have to sound so freaking cute. His smiles and laughs are the things I cherish the most.If I were to wake up in the morning, hit my toe on the corner of the wall, get to school late with the uniform that my brother "accidentally" spilled fish sauce on, forget my lunch money at home, receive an F for a test, and run home in the pouring rain without an umbrella - to see his smile - whether laughing at my stupidness- then that day would be a perfect day, a 10/10 day, a fabulous, unforgettable, and dope day.