"We cannot change our past. We can not change the fact that people act in a certain way. We can not change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude." 

-Charles R. Swindoll-

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Chapter 20:

(Lucas' POV)

I am still pissed about what happened last night but I am more upset and destroyed over the fact that Kerri and Grey were in an accident. Did they ever make it to the party?

Yes, Grey pissed me off, and yes, I would love to beat the shit out of him for speeding away, the asshole deserves a good beating, but I am the kind of person to wait until they are out of the hospital.

I got a phone call at three in the morning from Kerri's mom.

"Lucas I need you to come to the hospital, Kerri was in an awful car accident," her mom says worried.

My heart immediately drops and my stomach churns. I cannot lose Kerri.

I get out of bed and run over to my closet," which one?"

"Grey-Sloan."

I answer with an 'okay' and I am struggling to get my clothes on before heading out the door.

Nobody is awake at three in the morning so I don't have to go through interrogation.

I arrive at the hospital nearly 15 minutes later. And when I arrive I see Kerri's mom, in tears in one of the waiting room chairs.

I run over to her and give her a tight hug, running my fingers down her back to help soothe her. It always helped Kerri to calm down.

"I want to see her," I state. I try to push back the tears but it's hard and they begin falling one by one.

"We can't, she's in surgery, I don't know what's wrong with her, nobody will tell me anything, not even the front desk, all I know is that she's in surgery."

Her words don't help my state and I wait beside her in a chair. I hold my head in my shaking hands and breathe abnormally as I try to shake off the tears.

If I lose Kerri I lose everything I've ever needed. There will be absolutely no reason to live because whether I want to realize it or not, she's my whole world, I spend almost every waking minute thinking about her. Its not like I can just go on without her.

I wonder if Grey is okay.

"Did you hear anything about Grey?" I ask, hopefully she knew something about him. Although I don't very much like the asshole, I still had to care about him since Kerri does.

"They won't give me any information since I'm not family."

I mentally stabbed myself in the leg and watched a small fragile woman walk in. She looked to be at least 70. She walked in slowly, like she was hurt or something.

"Do you know anything about Grey Elliot? I'm his grandmother." She kept a smile, but that smile was fake, inside she was deathly afraid of what the third shift nurse had to say.

"Yes, ma'am, he's out of surgery, but they said you cannot come in until they have him completely done with everything," the nurse said with a smile.

The woman's face lit up in realization that her grandson hadn't been hurt too badly.

How is this woman related to the cold hearted manwhore I know? She's so sweet and kind looking. Like the grandma that would bake you cookies or something.

Grey looks to be the type of guy who'd give you a black eye instead of cookies.

I walked up to her slowly in hopes of making friends with her. "I am a friend of Grey's. I heard you are his grandmother?"

She nods. "Yes."

Her small voice is fragile and soft.

I grab my hand and clasp it into mine to help her move to the chairs.

"How did you meet Grey?" her voice catches me off guard when she sits beside Ms. Rivers and I.

I look at her pale pink shirt and blue Jean pants. She resembles Grey a good bit. Her wrinkled nose is pointed like his and her lips purse like his when he is startled.

Damn, I sound like a stalker.

"We met through my friend, Kerri, the girl he was in an accident with?"

She realizes who I have mentioned and her lips turn up in a smile. "Grey has talked my ear off about her. When we went to my doctors appointment just Thursday he would not stop chattering about her eyes. It made me want to tear up."

Her smiles brings joy to my heart, as cliche as it sounds.

I never knew how soft-hearted Grey was, he always appeared to have this hard, dark shell, a wall. He was the guy that you couldn't get to, his barrier wouldn't let you. I guess he could be something other than cold and close-minded.

"I never knew he thought so highly of Kerri," I reply to her, her dark green, brown eyes maneuvered around the large open room.

"Darling, he is obsessed with her. He thinks Kerri is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. You should hear him speak about her hair, her eyes, and as he puts it 'quirky personality'. I wish I could see her," her eyes dart to the doors when they open.

A doctor comes out of the door and steps over to the nurse's desk.

We watch with narrowed eyes, waiting for the name that will be called next.

"Elliot."

They looked around and saw Grey's grandmother stand up.

She turns to look at me," you're coming too." She grabs my hand and I stand up with her before walking to see the guy who maybe killed my best friend.

"Your grandson has a broken arm and he was unconscious when we found him. But he will be just fine," the doctor explains while we walk towards two large doors.

I follow obediently and eventually she lets go of my hand.

We walk down the hall behind the doctor in silence. His grandmother is continuing to twiddle her thumbs in anticipation.

I feel so awful for her, she has to put up with him and then act like she cares about him.

"Grammy?" Grey's hoarse voice calls from his white hospital bed. He sounds so vulnerable and fragile now. I watch as he sits up in his bed to hug his grandmother.

"How are you feeling darling?"

Has he not even noticed me yet?

"I don't care about me. Where is Kerri? Is she okay?" he asks hurriedly looking towards his grandmother as I stand by the doorway.

"He hasn't stopped asking about her," the doctor interjected.

I sigh," she's still in surgery. We don't know the extent of her injuries but they must be pretty bad."

He looks to me and I look to him. His face falls in worry and stress. I know that this is only a small part he plays to win over Kerri just to play the game and leave her stranded, helpless. I'm the one who loves Kerri, Grey is just going to treat her like a toy.

"Damn it. I did this! I did this to her! I was speeding and not watching what I was doing and I did this! I hurt her!" He cried out fighting his cords attached to him.

Tears began to fall down his cheeks and he caught them on his pale blue and white gown.

"Darling," his grandmother took his hands in hers and kissed the top of it. She rubbed her fingers over his rough knuckles and placed them on her hand.

"I cannot live with myself for hurting her," he cried out, his voice cracking and another tear falling onto the gown.

My heart urged to hold Kerri's hand and to be there right beside her, helping her through all of this with support and love, but I can't.

My mind is trying to untangle the mess that Grey has created of himself. I cannot see past his barrier, I cannot see past the tears and scarred knuckles. The tears stream down his face and he breaks my heart. His tears are sincere, his muffled cries are full of pain and the urge to hold Kerri.

Watching him lay in his grandmother's lap showing his true colors has changed everything for Kerri and I.

Good chapter...? Yes? No? Comment and vote please! -C