"Seriously, I thought I'd be done with all this secretarial work last time I died," I muttered grumpily into my coffee, "why don't we have mail merge in this world? Where's my Microsoft Word to copy and paste all this bullcr-"

"Milady, how are you enjoying your coffee?"

"Uh-gyaAAAAAHH!!! When the fu-"

I clamped my hands desperately over my mouth in order to pacify myself. Jerking back abruptly from my desk and clinging desperately to my chair, my eyes were locked onto Head Maid Silvia's painfully sweet smile.

"Oh my, your coffee has gone cold, Milady," her voice was a honeyed song from the meanest of gray-haired sirens in this accursed world, "perhaps I should brew a fresh cup for you."

Hoping with all my heart she did not hear me (almost) curse twice, I stuttered out, "y- yes, of, of course," swiping my hair back and turning away trying to suppress the red flush to my cheeks at my inelegant display, "please, please do... thank you, Silvia."

"Milady, you seem to be speaking like Prince Luis," Silvia observed cheekily, (isn't she too old to be acting like Michela?) "is he growing on you, perhaps?"

I flustered, "no I am not!" I squeaked, shoving her aside in a meager attempt at defense, "go and boil me another cup of coffee, now!" 

Closing the door in her face, I ground my foot against the carpet.

"I'm a villainess, god damn it!" 

Why is it so hard to be bad?