Warning: This story contains obsession, self-harm, and other mature themes. Please read at your own risk!

Prologue

Dangerous

Cirilla

"Ciri,"

Narinig kong tawag sa akin ni ate kaya tumigil ako saglit sa pag-alis at binalingan siya. Everyone around us were dancing and partying with the loud music. I went out to a club again with my older siblings. Simula noong nag-eighteen ako ay hindi na gaanong naging mahigpit sa akin ang parents namin. Hindi rin naman talaga sila ganoon ka strict as parents. I understand that Mom and Dad are just worried bukod pa sa bunso ako ay hindi pa naman talaga dapat lumalabas ng ganito kapag minor pa. And our parents trusts my older siblings so they've allowed me to be with them.

"Ate,"

"Where are you going?" she asked. Lumapit siya sa akin.

Diretso ang tingin ko sa kaniya. Nasanay na akong magsinungaling... I became a liar. I lied to my siblings, to our parents, my friends... everyone... "Pahangin lang po ako sa labas, ate." I told her.

Her eyes remained on me. Kinabahan ako. But then she smiled, a bit. "Okay, gusto mo na bang umuwi?" she asked me.

Maagap akong umiling. "No, no. Sabay na tayo ni kuya. Sa labas nalang din po ako maghihintay." I assured her.

She didn't looked convinced enough but at the end she nodded at me with a few reminder. "Don't go anywhere far. Kung gusto mo nang umuwi just tell us and uuwi na tayo."

I nodded my head and gave her a reassuring smile for the last time before I completely turned away.

I tried to find Ezion in the parking lot. Tinatawagan ko rin siya pero hindi siya sumasagot. He was just inside the club a while ago. Saglit lang naalis ang mga mata ko sa kaniya ay wala na siya sa loob at hindi ko na makita. Maybe he went out here. Baka gusto niyang manigarilyo gaya ng gawain niya. Hinanap ko nalang ang sasakyan niya baka nandoon lang din siya. O baka naman umuwi na siya? I have to find him! We needed to talk!

"Where are you, Zion..." I talked to myself, mentioning his nickname.

Mababaliw na yata ako. Ilang araw na kaming hindi nagkikita. Bigla nalang niyang hindi na sinasagot ang mga tawag ko sa kaniya o kahit messages. Do we have a problem? Did I do something wrong to him? Sana ay sinabi niya sa akin. Makikinig naman ako sa kaniya. I needed to know! Para naman maayos ko. Aayusin ko. Ako na ang bahala. Like what I've told him before, ako na ang bahala sa aming dalawa. We should talk before it fuck my head up.

And finally I saw him! But I also halted on my steps. Because when I saw him he wasn't alone. He was with his bitch ex, Gretchen.

Nagpatuloy pa rin ako sa mga hakbang ko papunta sa kanila. Pero muli rin natigilan nang makita ko ang sumunod na nangyari. They kissed. They were kissing passionately in front of my widened eyes. And Ezion didn't push her away! In fact he looked like he's enjoying the kiss they were sharing...

I can feel my heart thumping because of mixed emotions—hurt, pain, anger, frustrations... Agad ko rin silang nilapitan na dalawa para maagap na paghiwalayin. Natigil ang halikan nila and they both turned to me. I was losing my mind. I wanted to attack Gretchen and physically hurt her! Pero mabilis din akong pinigilan ni Ezion.

"Stop it! What are you doing?" malakas ang boses niya kasabay ng marahas niyang hawak sa akin. Napadaing ako sa diin ng kamay niya sa braso ko. He was hurting me...

Tears formed in my eyes. I looked at Ezion with begging eyes. "I-It's you! What are you doing with this bitch?!" I almost hysterically threw at him.

"Watch your mouth!" saway naman niya sa akin.

Alam kong ayaw ni Ezion na nagmamaldita ako. O may lumalabas na bad words sa bibig ko. I tried, alright?! I did everything! Para sa kaniya! Para magustuhan niya rin ako. Para mapapayag ko siya na magkaroon ng kami! Sa kahit na anong paraan. Ginawa ko ang lahat para sa kaniya. Binigay ko na ang lahat lahat sa akin. Kung may kulang pa ay gagawan ko ng paraan. I will do everything for Ezion! I will give him anything, everything!

"We haven't talked for days! At ngayon makikita kita na kahalikan ang babaeng ito?"

"What's your problem, little girl? Hanggang ngayon ba ay nagtatantrums ka parin kahit kay Zion? Masyado mo na yata siyang inaabala—" Gretchen said having no idea of me and Zion.

I sharply turned to her. "Shut up! I'm not talking to you!"

"Cirilla!" Ezion called me loudly.

Bumaling muli ako kay Zion. Naririnig ko pa ang mga sinasabi ni Gretchen tungkol sa pagiging spoiled brat ko parin. But all my attention were directed to Zion. I was waiting for him to explain his side. Dahil patatawarin ko naman siya agad. I don't care if he mistakenly kissed Gretchen. Kakalimutan ko nalang and we can move on from it.

"Let's go." Kinuha ni Zion ang kamay ko. Bumaling pa muna siya kay Gretchen. "I'll just bring her back to her siblings." Nagpaalam pa siya!

Hindi ko na narinig ang sagot ni Gretchen sa kaniya o kung tumango lang ba siya. I didn't care about the girl. Si Zion lang ang mahalaga sa akin.

"Wait," pigil ko sa kaniya. "Talagang ibabalik mo ako sa mga kapatid ko? Busy pa sina ate mag-party. We can stay out here and and talk. Mukhang malayo na rin naman tayo kay Gretchen. Why are you with her, anyway?" I stood in front of him in my high heels for the night out party.

Zion looked at me, too. "I kissed her—"

"Oh, no. Don't anymore mention it, Zion. Siguradong siya naman ang nanghalik sa 'yo." Although I knew my eyes can't lie to me. I saw what I saw. Hinalikan din niya si Gretchen... But I didn't care...

Loving Ezion Go was like finding something—some affection and love... in a dark place. I loved him blindly. It's like climbing a dangerous mountain or swimming the depths of the ocean with my oxygen tank already wearing off... I loved him dangerously.

Parang hindi na siya makapaniwala na nakatingin sa akin. I tried to give him a small reassuring smile. Pero nabura rin ang konting ngiti sa labi ko nang makitang nag-iba ang expression sa mukha niya at mukhang naging galit. Bumaba ang mga balikat ko.

"Stop it." mariin niyang sinabi, with gritted teeth. "Just fucking stop it! What's happening to you? Have you gone crazy?"

I smiled sadly. Tinatanong pa niya gayong siya naman ang dahilan... Parang hindi siya makapaniwala gayong ginagawa ko ang lahat ng ito para sa kaniya... "Zion—"

"We're done." he said straightforwardly.

My eyes widened and tears immediately threatened to fall down my cold cheeks. "W-What are you saying..."

"We're done, Cirilla. Now go back inside and ask your brother or sister to bring you home now. Wala na tayong pag-uusapan pa. Tapos na tayo." he said it with finality.

But I can't believe it! Hindi ko matanggap... After everything...

I shook my head. And the next thing I did was to hug him and I tried to kiss him on the lips. Iyon ang naabutan nina Ate Cianna.

Nakita ko nalang si kuya na galit nang sinuntok si Ezion na hindi nakapaghanda. I screamed. "Kuya! Stop! Tama na! Don't hurt him—"

"Cirilla!" tawag sa akin ng umiiyak na na si ate at mariin akong hinawakan para mapigilan sa paglapit kanila kuya na nagsusuntukan pa.

I turned to my older sister. Sandali pa akong natigilan nang makita ang ayos ni ate. She was crying and she looked like she didn't know what to do. Nakatingin lang siya sa akin na parang hindi alam ang gagawin o gulat pa rin sa nadatnan.

Natigilan ako. It broke my heart to see my sister crying because of what I did. At si kuya na... best friend si Ezion. Pero sinusuntok na niya ito ngayon.

I feel like I ruined everything...

Sinira ko ang tiwala sa akin nina ate. Sinira ko ang friendship nina kuya at Ezion. I destroyed everything. It was all my fault.

"Ate! Pigilan mo si kuya!" sabi ko pa rin sa kaniya, still worried of Ezion.

Umiling si ate at humikbi pa siya. Parang dinudurog ang puso ko. I turned to my brother na mukhang hindi niya yata titigilan si Ezion at baka mapatay pa niya ito! Lalo akong natakot nang makakita ng dugo!

The situation horrified me.

"Kuya!" I stood there stiffly as I shouted at him. But my brother wasn't listening to me.

Tumingin ako sa paligid. We were still in the parking lot at kami pa lang ang tao doon. My sister was crying beside me and my brother was about to kill someone...

Halos wala pa rin sa sarili si ate sa nakita niya sa amin ni Ezion kanina. Nagmamadali akong kinuha ang purse bag niya at hinanap ang susi ng sasakyan doon. Nakuha ko iyon at agad na umalis at tinalikuran silang lahat. Mabilis kong pinatunog ang sasakyan namin na nasa malapit nalang din at agad na pumasok doon. Narinig ko pa ang tawag ni ate at sumunod si kuya na mukhang tinigilan na si Ezion.

I drove the car out of the parking and fast to the streets. Wala ako sa sariling nagmamaneho. My mind was going blank. Hindi na ako makapag-isip ng tama. Hanggang sa kinain ng nakakasilaw na liwanag galing sa ibang sasakyan ay paningin ko. At halos mabingi ako sa lakas ng bosina ng mga sasakyan...

"Ezion..." I called his name until everything turned dark.

Author's Note: This is a work of fiction. All rights reserved. I do not allow my work to be used or adapted in any way without my permission. Thanks!